Chapter 82
Angela’s POV
of m
Two days ago, we returned back to the pack. This particular morning, I woke up feeling strangely enthusiastic about drawing and painting again. A part me felt it was about time to get back to the drawing board. I didn’t know if I still had it in me to be who I used to be but there wasn’t a harm in ever trying.
After getting Reina ready for school, I made her a quick breakfast and took her to school.
“Mama, are you happy?” Reina suddenly asked as we got to the school’s gate,
I frowned, “What are you talking about? I am happy”
She only shrugged. “I just want you to be always happy,”
“The same way I want you to be always happy. Are you happy Reina?” I asked her.
“Yes, mama. I have you, I have daddy, I have grandma and I have aunt Brit and I also have friends, Mark, Julle…. she went ahead to start listing probably all of her classmates and I couldn’t stop the smile that plastered itself on my face.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Reina,”
She nodded. “Aunt Daisy said she would be happy if you leave the pack,”
My ears suddenly p r c k e d up. “When did she say that?”
She began counting her fingers. “I don’t know but it’s been long ago. That time she took me for ice cream,”
“Was it when we first arrived here?” I asked her.
“Yes, mama,”
I clenched my jaw. If I saw Daisy at that moment, I swear that I’d break her nose so bad no plastic surgeon would take up the job of fixing her up again.
“Reina, here,” one of her friends called her name and she turned to her with a huge smile on her face and started waving.
“Bye, ma…” before she could run off, I pulled her back to me.
“Listen to me, Reina Daisy was wrong for what she said. She cannot dictate how you and I get to live our lives. What she said was mean and you shouldn’t have heard that. The next time you see her, call for help. What would you do when you’re in danger?”
She brought out a new necklace that was around her neck. “I’ll press this,”
thadn’t seen the necklace before and it came to me as a surprise. “who gave you this?”
“Daddy did. He said to press this red button while counting to ten and he’ll be there…” She signaled for me to come down to her level. With confusion not hidden from my face, I did, “he’ll be there in five seconds,”
I smiled. I helped her tuck the necklace back behind her clothes. “You should do that too but when you see Daisy, walk away from her. Don’t listen to whatever she says, okay baby?”
She kissed my cheek. “Yes, mama,”
Chapter 82
“Bye,”
“See you,” she said so curtly I was taken aback. She was really eager to go theet with her friends. As soon as she got to them, the three of them including one boy, held hands and walked into the school together.
This pack was really home to us.
I went back home, dragging my feet more than usual, I knew I would be going into the artist’s workshop today and I was trying to take my time. My mind was so ready to tum and walk to my mom’s place but I was also determined to try.
By the time I got home, I stood in front of the studio for what appeared to be an hour. I paced a little, sat down, and tried rethinking my decision.
I decided to try t the 3,2,1 formula and without thinking at the count of three, I grabbed the doorknob and opened it. I walked into the room with my eyes closed but as soon as I walked in, I was hit with the smell of lavender and sweet almond.
The delicious scent made me open my eyes to a brilliant, yet beautiful space. The room was painted in cobalt blue and ochre, with soft, natural light entering through sheer curtains that were adorned with splashes of paint. Canvases of various sizes were placed against the wall. Brushes of all shapes and sizes, as well as an easel, were in the center of the room.
All the equipment that I needed was in place. Nothing was missing. It spoke of a language of inspiration and I didn’t want to waste any more time.
To make a sketch first, I picked up a pencil and sat in front of the easel to at least make a stroke or something but I couldn’t.
My fingers kept on trembling and all I could do was struggle to even hold the pencil. Idropped it out of exasperation and ran my fingers through my hair.
Without thinking twice, I called Dr. Zack. I wasn’t his biggest fan but I needed help and my mother had told me not to hesitate before getting help.
He picked up on the second ring
“Hello Angela, I’m surprised you called me,”
“Can I ask you a question, Dr. Zack?”
“Please call me Zack and you’re free to ask anything.”
“I’m trying to do something I’ve not done in a long time because of what I confided in you about and I find my fingers trembling.”
“It’s possible it’s all in your head, Angela. It might be fear of not committing to your work when you should’ve or maybe you’re blaming yourself for the circumstances you find yourself or maybe you’re scared your work, wouldn’t be perfect even if you tried again. Why don’t you try letting go of everything and anything and just start from the beginning?”
I might not really like him but his advice was somewhat helpful to me. I was actually worried about how my drawings would be since I’d neglected drawing for so long
“Thank you, Zack,”
“Thank me at lunch, Angela,”
“I have a mate,” I responded. I’m sure he’d seen the mark on my neck. There was no need to try to hit on me.
“It’s just lunch. I’m not asking you to run away with me,”
I felt suddenly embarrassed.
“Sure, why not?”
Chapter 82
“How about tomorrow?”
“I’m free tomorrow,”
“Great. Tell me about how it goes at lunch tomorrow,”
without saying goodbye he ended the call. I puckered my lips as I stared at the phone, surprised at how abruptly he ended the call
I picked up my pencil to try again. I ended up making different strokes which turned out fifty percent okay. I then decided to draw something with my pencils I knew I should’ve started simple but I wasn’t an amateur in drawing, I needed to start big but not too complex.
I successfully finished a drawing and realized it was evening already.
Staring at the drawing made me realize I should’ve just walked away and never come back to the studio. It wasn’t worth it. It was such an imperfect drawing and lended up hating myself.
I looked up to stop the tears from falling. All of a sudden, I grabbed the drawing paper angrily and removed it from the board. I squeezed it with all the strength in me and threw it into the dustbin.
Then I screamed.
曲
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