“Lady Wilkes, Miss Lucy, a caller has requested your audience.” The footman bowed.

“Do you hear that, Lucy?” Priscilla stood up immediately, her eyes widening in anticipation. “Another gentleman is vying for your attention! Stand up, now!”

Lucy sighed. As far as she was aware, she had already defended herself from every marriage-minded gentleman in London by now. It had been rather easy. Once she had opened her mouth about philosophy, most men had been quick to cool down. And on the off chance that even that didn’t work, she would offer to read a passage from one of Mary Wollstonecraft’s works. Her suitors hated nothing more than women’s liberties.

In light of that, she couldn’t imagine who else might disturb her Saturday morning. She sighed and stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of her purple dress. Pricilla tapped on her cheek to remind Lucy to pinch hers. The Baroness never failed to remind her youngest daughter that her dark hair made her look even more pale.

“The Right Honorable the Earl of Ramsbury,” the footman announced, opening the door.

Priscilla’s eyes widened, and she frowned, obviously disappointed. She seemed to appreciate the Earl’s involvement, but only if it was attracting other suitors to Lucy. Meanwhile, Lucy’s heart was beating wildly in her chest. It had been a few days since she had seen Lord Ramsbury, and she hadn’t stopped thinking about him the entire time. How tall he had stood over her, his broad shoulders, his expressive eyes, and the way he had grinned sardonically when he had said something he shouldn’t have.

She was surprised he had come to see her. Out of all the women that could have received his attention, why would he choose her? And he knew that she didn’t want to marry. He likely didn’t want to marry either. That would be the death of his hedonistic lifestyle.

Lucy’s cheeks turned red at the sudden realization that maybe she knew exactly what he wanted from her. That should have scared her, but instead, it only made her feel a warm flutter of excitement and nervousness.

As the footman stepped aside, the Earl stepped across the threshold. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand. He placed the white roses and lilacs on the small table and bowed to the two ladies. Lucy stared at him, her mouth hanging open just a little. Every time she saw him, she was taken aback by just how handsome he was. She balled her fists to stop herself from imagining in vivid detail just how it might feel to run her fingers through his hair.

Her eyes flickered back to the bouquet of flowers. It was so pretty. Purple and white were her favorite colors. She wondered how he knew how well they would suit her. The blooms were fragrant and filled the room with the unmistakable smell of springtime.

“Lord Ramsbury!” Priscilla forced a smile. “Thank you for your generous donation at the Duke and Duchess’s event. We are all most grateful for your concern regarding… uhm…” She blinked.

“The education of young ladies, Mama,” Lucy reminded her.

Priscilla had forgotten, mostly because she didn’t care. Her excitement for the event was motivated by all the fanfare that came with one’s child—who happened to be a duchess—hosting an impeccable social gathering.

“For young ladies?” she asked quietly. “Are you certain?”

“It was my honor, Lady Wilkes, truly,” Lord Ramsbury said. He grinned and turned toward the Baroness, his body at just the right angle, his eyes suddenly so genuine and captivating. He offered her his magnetic smile.

Within a moment, Priscilla was a giggling mess. She sat down, immediately at ease around a man whom she had despised mere seconds prior.

Ridiculous.

He had tricks. Lucy wasn’t sure what she had expected. A rake as notorious as he had to have some tricks up his sleeve for being so popular amongst women. She had been so smitten with him before, and now she was questioning him. That entire act might work for everyone else, but it only made him appear fake to her. She had liked him best when he had allowed himself to be vulnerable around her.

He smiled at her. She didn’t miss his wandering eyes and the way he admired her body. His gaze lingered just a moment longer than what could have been passed off as a mistake. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling insecure. She had never cared what anyone thought when they looked at her before, but deep down, she couldn’t deny that she wanted him to enjoy the view.

“It is a pleasure to see you again, Miss Lucy,” he said.

“Likewise, Lord Ramsbury,” she returned, curtsying.

She wondered if he could pick up on the sarcasm in her voice. She had attempted to drown it, but she instinctively felt defensive around men, like they only existed to take something away from her. She had safeguarded her independence and autonomy for so long, but she didn’t need to hold onto it so tightly. He didn’t want any of that.

The truth was that she had wanted him to come and see her, but admitting that made her feel small.

“I would be honored if you might allow me to take you on our first promenade at St. James Park.”

Lucy bit her cheek and glanced at her mother, who seemed very curious to see where this was heading.

Priscilla gave her a discerning nod that lacked any discretion.

Lucy looked back at Lord Ramsbury and bit her cheek again. “It appears I do not have much of a choice.”

The Earl titled his head ever so slightly, the levity that had been so present in his eyes changing to something more sympathetic and real. Lucy felt a flutter at the top of her chest. “Of course, you have a choice,” he said. “If you would rather not go, then my donation for education will remain just as it was.” He paused, his mouth drawing into a thin line. “I was under the impression that you knew your time would be up for auction. But I am glad I made the bid, if only to give you an option of following through.”

Lucy released a breath through her nose and looked at him. It was that easy. She could say no. And there was a part of her that wanted to. It would be easier, it would be safer, and she might never have to see this man again. Despite being a proper distance away from him, she was fully aware that he was going to get her into trouble.

Of course, she wanted to walk away before she was forced to confront a part of herself that she was uncomfortable with. But the curiosity of the unknown was much stronger than the fear of burning her fingers on a hearth that she knew perfectly well was too hot.

“St. James Park should be lovely today.” She curtsied, remembering that her mother was watching.

He smiled. “You will go?”

She paused for just a minute. Before she could even contemplate her answer, she was nodding in agreement.

The air was crisp and light. A refreshing breeze trilled across the park. There was still the chill of early spring in the air, but after such a long winter, seeing daffodils breaking from the dirt and sparrows playing in the air made everything seem that much more exciting. St. James Park had always been one of Lucy’s favorite places. There had been nothing quite as blissful as sitting against a tree and getting lost in a book, one hand running through the grass. Those memories had always been so perfect and relaxing.

But this was not one of those moments. Lucy had never been on a promenade like this. She had always managed to avoid suitors who called on her to ask her for a walk in the park. Most of the time, she had been able to convince them to think better of it before they had even bothered asking her.

But now, not only had someone been convinced to pay hundreds of pounds just to steal an hour or two of her morning, but they had actually managed to get her there.

Lord Ramsbury offered her the crook of his elbow. Hesitantly, she wrapped her hand around his arm, and they started down the path while her elderly chaperone trailed behind.

The stone path felt lumpy under her thin slippers. Just seeing the large green areas made her miss the country and how she could get away with running her toes through the grass without her stockings getting in the way.

“I used to—” Lucy cleared her throat. Now that they had more privacy than before, she was starting to feel the worst of her anxiety crackling in her chest, making it difficult to talk. “Used to come here… all the, you know, all the—”

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

Lucy widened her eyes. “No, no.” She shook her head. Hopefully, that sounded as believable as she had tried to make it.

“Ah,” he said. “It sounded to me like you felt nervous, which is odd, considering all that I’ve heard of you.”

Lucy reached up with a free hand and fiddled with the dainty gold and coral necklace she had worn. “And who has spoken of me so freely?”

“Lord Adam Weston, for example,” he replied. “You have known him for many years now. It is interesting that you and I haven’t met until now, seeing as how you are family to the Radfords and I am a close friend.”

Lucy laughed. “I like to think that His Grace kept you hidden from view when he was courting my sister.” S~ᴇaʀᴄh the FindNøvᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Because of my reputation?”

“What else?” she asked. “I have not heard much else about you.”

She glanced up at him briefly, and even though he seemed to be aware that she was looking at him, his eyes were still focused on the path ahead. Lucy had heard a brief mention of his mother being mentally unwell, but she knew that now was not the time to bring that up.

“Does that scare you?”

Lucy was hyperaware of the feeling of his body so close to hers and the heat of him. She willed her arm not to shake while she held him close.

“I am not bothered, as long as your ways do not affect my reputation,” she replied.

“I have heard a lot about you, as well. You plan to be a spinster. I cannot figure out whether your parents were delighted or furious by my donation.”

“I am sure you can imagine that they felt a little of both,” she said. “They would be thrilled if I changed my mind about marriage.”

He shrugged. “But you do not want to.”

He had mentioned it so matter-of-factly, it didn’t feel like a sore spot when he had said it. It merely felt like a completely reasonable choice. It was the first time someone brought up her decision and she didn’t feel any shame for it.

“I would love it if I had the means to do the same. I already told you how I feel about predestination.”

“I am sure for some people, the idea may feel comforting, but you and I are individualists,” Lucy said. “No one should blame us for living for ourselves for once.”

The Earl looked down at her, his eyes narrowed. He didn’t look unapproachable, but just curious. Lucy hoped he couldn’t see the blush on her cheeks. His blue eyes were enough to make her pulse quicken.

“So, let me ask you now that we can talk more freely.” He looked over his shoulder, causing Lucy to turn as well. Their chaperone was lagging behind. Although a watchful eye remained over them, their chaperone was too far away to hear a word they were saying. “If you are earnest about your desire to remain unmarried, then why have you agreed to a promenade?”

“It is the right thing to do,” Lucy replied, tucking her long bangs back behind her ear. On either side of the path were pink frilly cherry trees. The petals rained down with every trill of the wind. “You were promised five promenades for your donation, and although I detest what my eldest sister did, it is only right that I see this through.”

“Mhm.” He nodded, flashing her a grin. He looked away, rolling his eyes. On the water, swans glided across the surface, the water rippling beneath them like gossamer. “I gave you the opportunity to back out of our engagements without a single loss. In fact, you stand to lose more by being associated with me. Look now.” He motioned for her to look to their left.

She turned her face away from him and watched the passersby in the park. Immediately, her cheeks turned red when she noticed a group of gentlemen by the water’s edge, each taking discreet turns glancing at her. On the bench, another gentleman was eyeing her—this time, not so discreetly—while she and Lord Ramsbury passed by.

“Do you know why they are looking at you?”

She shook her head slowly, but the truth was that she knew exactly why. She just wanted to hear him say it because she hoped his answer would be different. The truth made her hate being human.

“They are foolish. Four days ago, they were unmoved by your charms, and today, they find themselves entranced simply because a rake appears to be courting you. There must be something about you if you have distracted me from my typical pursuits, yes?”

Lucy was silent for a moment. She was keenly aware that Isaac was waiting to hear her response. It was admittedly a heavy observation to drop on a woman like her.

“That is so unbelievably insulting,” she said.

“Did I say—”

“It is not you. I just despise that I will only ever be as important as the man who chooses to walk beside me.”

“That is why I call them fools, Miss Lucy.”

“Is it too much to ask that the world remember me for what I have said or felt, or written? I will forever be known as the Baron of Wilkes’s youngest daughter. Even my sisters, as incredible as they are, will always be wives and mothers of more important men.” Lucy sighed. “I just want to be someone.”

“If there is anyone who can make a dent in this world without the help of a man, I believe it is you,” the Earl stated. “I am here for you, and not your father or your brothers-in-law.”

Lucy felt a warmth in her chest. The words alone made her sentimental, but the way he’d said them felt so honest. She believed that he believed it.

“That is assuring, then,” she said. “Maybe I really can make my own way without marriage.”

“But I suppose that brings us back around to my original question. If you are resistant to marriage, then you have no need to go on promenades through the park with a man. Moreover, my perceived interest in courting you is only making you more sought after in a game that you have no desire to play. So then, why would you agree to come with me, if there is no incentive for you?”

“I am being polite,” she said. “Father would—”

“You know I would have made up an excuse to your father that made me the villain.” He stopped walking and turned to look at her.

She came to a halt, staring up at him. She felt completely cornered and yet completely incapable of removing herself from his presence. In fact, safety was a short walk away from the very chaperone assigned to protect her from this sort of man. So then, why did she refuse to go? This was trouble, but she wanted it for the first time in her life.

He smiled. “I can keep a secret,” he said. He continued walking once he noticed the chaperone was gaining some ground on them. “I would have expected the rumors to bother you.”

Lucy opened her mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come out. She had been trying to figure out the same thing. She shook her head. “Rumors are just rumors. I believed them, but I imagine that just because someone has said something about you does not mean it is true.”

He pulled the crook of his elbow just a little closer, pulling her in, in turn. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“The rumors are true,” he said. “But, not for long.”

Lucy cocked an eyebrow. She was surprised to hear that. “You plan to reform?”

“In a sense, yes,” he answered. “I suppose, this season, in fact, it is time for me to find a wife. I am twenty-nine years old, I can only avoid the inevitable for so long.”

Lucy nodded. She hadn’t known what to expect from a promenade with the Earl of Ramsbury, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“You are spoken of as the last man on earth who would make a vow.”

“You want me to be honest with you?” he said. “I am not thrilled about marriage, but it is my duty. I must sire an heir, I have little choice. The truth is, I am very weak when it comes to… to pleasure.” His voice had quieted, almost to a whisper.

She had been struggling to breathe their entire conversation, but something in the air had changed, making it even more difficult. She liked to think she knew what was coming, but maybe it was all wishful thinking. No one had ever made such an indecent request of her before.

“That is hardly anything novel. It must be addictive if people are willing to fight wars over it.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. She wondered if he was biting his tongue. She wasn’t supposed to talk about it.

“I admit I find myself curious about what makes it worth the strife that it can cause.”

He sighed as if he were contemplating between humoring her or completely ignoring the comment. “If you had plans to marry, I would never speak of this,” he said. “I cannot say I am surprised by your admission. You must have at least some idea, unless your hands have never roamed.”

Lucy felt her cheeks grow red even more so than they ever had before. She didn’t even have to wonder if everyone could tell. It was obvious. She, who was so rarely short of something witty to say, was at a loss.

“You do know what I am speaking of, right?”

“Of course, I know what you are speaking of,” she responded.

She had read enough books to have some idea. She had never really understood why anyone would want to. She had never felt compelled to explore her body until very recently, only now it felt more like a fear of not knowing where to begin than disinterest.

Her hips felt warm, and they ached for maybe the first time in her life. She had come to meet many men. In fact, she had spoken to so many in the past three days, and only one of them had ever made her feel this way. Why Lord Ramsbury? Why did she want nothing more than to touch him, to feel his lips on her skin and his hands exploring her—

“You have never found yourself curious to know?”

“Some—sometimes,” she whispered. “But I cannot imagine why you would need to know that.”

The path turned from the beautiful green with a view of the lake to a shady wooded area. As they continued down the path, their chaperone was now momentarily out of sight, and there were no others in view to keep a watchful eye. Gently, Lord Ramsbury tugged Lucy to a stop. She was out of breath, despite the walk not being strenuous. Her eyes flickered down, unable to not look at his lips. She wanted him to kiss her, it was all she could think about.

He leaned down slowly, his face so close to hers. She closed her eyes and breathed in sharply when his nose brushed against her skin. She had the overwhelming urge to throw her hands around his neck and press her lips against his, but she wouldn’t dare.

“If you really want to know what it is like, then I can show you,” he said, his voice breathy and soft.

He pulled away from her cheek and studied her face for a moment. She wondered if he could tell just how on fire she was for him. Did he know that she had never burned before in her life, and now, here she was, considering something that she should not have even thought about in the first place?

His eyes looked just a little darker. Maybe it was because he was in the shadow of her face, but she couldn’t deny the intensity. He looked at her, and she knew exactly what it was that he needed. Her.

The pair started at the sound of footsteps and immediately returned to their walk. Lucy couldn’t hide the tremors in her hand—the one in the crook of his elbow—any longer.

Once the Earl of Ramsbury had composed himself, he glanced down at her. “Think about it,” he said.

Lucy nodded, her cheeks still hot. She was in complete disbelief. She had stood perfectly still her entire life. With the exception of courtship, she had done everything that was expected of her. Only when she did things that were frowned upon had she learned anything of value about herself. She wasn’t supposed to take such an interest in learning, but without her hunger for knowledge, who was she? She was never supposed to be independent, but having found comfort in herself had made her much happier and more self-assured.

Lucy wasn’t supposed to have done a lot of things, but she was better for it. If Society had its way, she would have been insecure, dim-witted, and docile.

But sometimes, she secretly wondered if she would have actually been better off living the way she had been told to and not the way she had been designed to.

Why would she have a brain if not to use it? Why would a bird be born with wings if it were not expected to fly? And why, why, why would she feel such an intense and divine pull toward a man that she could not have?

It didn’t make sense.

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