A Summer Of Missing Princesses
Goblins Are Idiots

With Mór watching Aleena and Sìneag, I have begun my search for the princess of Tellis Kingdom. Briefly before writing this passage, I met with a man named Mr. Nevin.

“Excuse me, sir!” I called out.

He turned and approached.

“A suit of armor! You must be an adventurer!” Mr. Nevin commented.

“You could say that, yes. I’ve been to a few other islands before this one,” I replied.

“Ah, and what is it that you seek?” Mr. Nevin asked.

“Do you happen to know anything about the princess?” I asked.

“Oh yes, Princess Korallee has been missing for a long time! Nobody has seen any sign of her!” Mr. Nevin said.

“I’m here to find her,” I say.

“Oh! Oh that’s very great! I’m Mr. Nevin, by the way!” Mr. Nevin said.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Selima!” I responded, “Anyhow, if nobody has seen the princess in a long time, what do you suspect may be the cause of her disappearance?”

“Cause of disappearance? Nobody knows. Otherwise we would have done something about it already!” Mr. Nevin replied.

“True... Okay, well... Has anything else unusual happened lately?” I asked.

“Yes! These horrible little Goblins showed up not long after she disappeared! The king says there is a reward per Goblin defeated,” Mr. Nevin said, “As for me! I know it is much safer to stay away from Goblins! They are filthy creatures!”

“Oh! Okay, well thank you for that information! That might be exactly what I need!” I said.

“Glad I could help! We all miss the princess!” Mr. Nevin said.

That is why I am now headed west! The Tellis Woods seem like exactly the place a bunch of Goblins would hide! I travel across the land, which is mostly farmland, until I reach the castle. Tellis Castle’s huge walls block the view of the land beyond the castle. Up along the boarder, I notice that knights are standing guard with scopes. A few of them notice me.

“HEY YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” one of them calls out to me.

“I’M ON A MISSION!” I reply, hoping I am loud enough to be heard.

“DON’T CAUSE ANY TROUBLE, YOU HEAR?!” the same guard threatens.

“I HEAR YOU, AND I UNDERSTAND! ALLOW ME PASSAGE INTO THE WOODS!” I call back.

“YOU MAY GO,” the guard responds.

That was easy... I then enter the woods and look for signs of Goblins. I search under some dead leaves and around the trees. Sure enough, there are funny looking foot prints about. As I am searching, I get this funny feeling that I am being watched so I stop, stand up straight, and look around.

“WHO’S THERE?!” I call out.

There is no response at first, then, suddenly, a bunch of colorful Goblins are surrounding me!

“STOP RIGHT THERE, PRINCESS! YOUR SILLY DISGUISE WON’T FOOL US!” one of the Goblins yells at me.

“Princess? I’m not the princess...” I reply.

“YEAH RIGHT! GET HER!” the Goblin cries out.

The colorful Goblins all start charging at me from all different angles. Thinking quickly, I jump and kick two over at once, clearing a path. I jump over the knocked over Goblins and take off deeper into the woods.

“GET HER! SHE’S GETTING AWAY!” the Goblins yell behind me.

I keep on running, my heart racing. I glance over my shoulder briefly and see them still following after me.

“I... I have a sword! Don’t make me use it on you!” I cry out.

I keep running, but soon, more Goblins arrive and block me in. I glance around and find myself surrounded by too many Goblins to fight off.

“WE’VE GOT YOU! MAYBE NOW YOU’LL QUIT ESCAPING!” the leader of the group yells.

“Fine... You’ve got me...” I say.

They grab onto my arms and forcefully guide me away deeper into the woods. The woods appear to go on and on forever until finally, we reach a fort made from a few large trees. When I say large trees, I mean large! They are so wide around each! The Goblins drag me inside only to stop suddenly.

“Wait a minute...” one says.

I look up and see a terrified girl standing in the hallway. She looks almost exactly like me!

“If you’ve only just now attempted to escape... Then who is this?!” the Goblins ask, pointing to me.

“I told you I wasn’t the princess!” I say.

“I... I don’t know what is going on! I wasn’t escaping either! Honestly!” the girl says, shaking.

“Lock then both up. We’ll figure this out later...” one Goblin decides.

Quickly, they grab the other girl, causing her to scream.

“GET YOUR MITTS OFF OF ME!” she screams.

Then they take us deep into the fort and throw us into a dungeon cell together.

“YOU BRUTES!” the girl yells as the Goblins lock the door.

Soon, the Goblins walk away and I am left with the girl who looks almost exactly like me.

“So... Uh... Are you Princess Korallee?” I ask.

“Yeah? And who are you?! Why do you look like me?!” the girl asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I was born in Tellis too?” I suggest.

“I nearly got away on my own!” Korallee says, “Multiple times, even!”

“That takes talent!” I say.

“Yeah, but now they’ll be keeping a closer eye on me...and you,” Korallee says.

“But surely they won’t keep both of us...? Right? Won’t they send away who isn’t the princess?” I ask.

“Oh, I don’t know... Goblins are pretty ruthless...” Korallee says.

“There has to be some way to get you out of here... Even if I cannot get free myself...” I comment.

“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself for me...” Korallee says, looking sad.

“I’ve already rescued three princesses. I was going to save seven, but if it means saving you...” I say.

Korallee turns away, starting to cry.

“The Goblins have been so mean to me during my stay! I’ve been here for so long and I keep trying to free myself, but they always find me again before I can get home!” Korallee says.

“If we switch outfits, maybe we can confuse them and they’ll let you go instead,” I suggest.

“Do you really think that’ll work...?” Korallee asks.

“They already mistook me for you even in this outfit. Goblins are idiots, they’ll never figure it out,” I say.

“O...Okay...” Korallee says.

We quickly switch. I put on her shirt and pants and she puts on my suit of armor. Her clothes are a little bit big on me, but this should still work.

“Ah, this is a little tight...” Korallee gasps.

“Sorry about that, it was specially tailored for me... You can change back as soon as you get home,” I say.

“Okay,” Korallee says, fidgeting uncomfortably.

The Goblins show up again a few minutes after Korallee and I switch clothes.

“Goblin council has declared: the young woman we had previously is the real princess!” the Goblin leader announces.

“And what shall be done about me?” Korallee asks, pretending to be me.

“You will be removed, but you must not tell anyone about this or we will kill you and everybody you love!” the Goblin leader announces.

“Oh dear! How dreadful! Then I will remain silent. Nobody knows I’ve been missing anyhow!” Korallee says.

I glance at her, but, you know, the Goblins will never know that I don’t talk like that.

“PROMISE?!” the Goblin leader prompts.

“I promise! Nobody aside from me will know of this occurrence!” Korallee says.

“And what of me?” I ask.

“We will discuss that after we remove the imposter!” the Goblin leader announces.

“If that is your wish,” I say.

The Goblins open up the gate and escort Korallee away. She gives one last glance at me and sighs sadly. The Goblins stand in the way in case I attempt to break free and follow, but not wanting to give away the secret plan, I remain in place. Faintly, I hear them open the door to the hide out, and then the door closes again.

“Leader will return!” one Goblin says to me.

“But of course? Why wouldn’t he?” I ask.

“Uhhh...” the Goblin says and scratches his ugly lumpy head.

A few moments later, the leader returns and shoves the other Goblins aside to see me again.

“And now! Princess... We’ve removed the imposter!” the Goblin leader announces.

“Uh huh... I know...” I say.

“And would you guess what time it is?!” the Goblin leader asks.

“What time is it? Uh... Perhaps time for you to get your ugly self away from me?” I suggest, tilting my head a bit with a mischievous grin.

“NO! I’M NOT EVEN UGLY!” the Goblin leader cries out. S~ᴇaʀᴄh the FɪndNovᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“You keep telling yourself that... Maybe one day it will be true?” I suggest.

“It’s okay, boss! You’re the most handsome creature in existence!” another Goblin speaks up.

The leader seems to be calmed by this and sighs.

“No. It is princess feeding time!” the Goblin leader says after a bit of time.

He smiles a nasty smile at me.

“Ever heard of a tooth brush?” I ask.

“AH! SHUT UP!” the Goblin Leader yells and grabs me forcefully.

I let out a yelp as his dirty overgrown fingernails lightly graze my skin. The other Goblins screech and laugh and follow after as the leader drags me away. I thrash, trying to escape his grasp, but he only seems to grip me tighter.

“You’re not going anywhere, princess! We go over this every time!” the Goblin Leader says, throwing me into a chair, “Why resist such a nice meal?!”

The other Goblins run up and tie me down before I can get up and run away.

“L-let me go!” I cry out.

“No way! You’re our only source of entertainment!” the Goblin Leader says, holding my chin.

“You foul creature!” I yell.

With his free hand, he snaps his disgusting fingers and his little minions run about in what I suppose is their usual routine. The next thing I know, a metal pipe is being lowered down to where my mouth is! My eyes widen in fear and I tremble. The Goblin Leader removes his hand from my chin once everything is lined up.

“Looks like we are good to go!” the Goblin Leader announces.

The other Goblins laugh and one presses a button.

“Eat up, princess! I expect you to eat more than yesterday! It isn’t nice to us hosts when you refuse our good cooking!” the Goblin Leader says.

This nasty looking sludge stuff starts spilling down the metal pipe and right into my mouth. Honestly, it doesn’t taste as bad as I expected. It doesn’t taste good either, though, and I’d prefer to not be force fed!

“Hee hee hee! No matter how many times we do this, it will always be amusing!” one Goblin says.

The sludge keeps on coming and coming and I cannot do anything to stop it. My stomach starts hurting after a little while and I can feel it becoming very full. The Goblins keep on laughing at me as I am suffering and I close my eyes tightly. Just when I fear that I am about to burst, the ground begins to rattle and the pipe gets shaken out of place. I open my eyes when I realize the sludge has stopped entering my mouth.

“W-what’s going on?!” the Goblins scream, running around.

The shaking intensifies and then I hear a shout.

“GOBLINS! WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!”

“WHAT?! THAT LITTLE LIAR MUST HAVE TOLD EVERYBODY!” the Goblin Leader announces.

With that, the Goblins abandon me, still tied to the chair, and rush out with their weapons. I remain in place for a long time and I can hear them fighting out there. I can tell there are many horses. Then, Princess Korallee herself comes to me.

“I knew I’d find you here. I had hoped to come sooner, but my father was slow to understand my urgency,” Korallee says.

She unties me from the chair.

“Ugh... Is this what you had to endure every day...?” I ask.

She nods.

“I... I can’t move...” I say.

“Here,” Korallee says, handing me a bucket.

“What is this for?” I ask.

She then pretends to puke. Oh, I see. She expects me to puke.

“Okay... Thanks...” I say.

She turns away as I use the resources given to me. After that, I stand up.

“Come, I know another way out. The Goblins are fighting my father’s army out front,” Korallee says.

She takes my hand and leads me away as quickly as she can. I’m still feeling a little sick, but I am so glad to get out of there.

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