All I Wish for Christmas
Chapter 11: Blue Christmases

No, this can’t be, Tilly panicked. He can’t be falling in love with someone else!

But before she had time to allow her thoughts to spin further out of control, something broke Captain Tinsel away from the angelic beauty perched atop the tree. He turned to his long-time friend and, per his usual self, smiled warmly down at her, spreading his wooden arms wide for a hug.

“Tilly! Merry Christmas!”

Relief flooded Tilly’s heart and mind as she leapt up to give her soldier a giant hug, “Oh, Merry Christmas! I’ve missed you!”

“And I, you!” He returned kindly, his attention fully on her now.

Perhaps, it was simply her angelic grace that had him staring so, Tilly thought as she glimpsed the new-come angel gently flying off the tree top and down to the manger displayed on another table across the way. She apparently had everyone in awe, and Tilly had to admit, she was lovely.

It was tradition for everyone to gather for the annual newcomer, so now that Tilly felt better about things with Captain, she prompted, “Shall we head on over towards the manger to meet her?”

Captain glanced over to the scene—Balthazar, Melchior, and Casper were already making their introductions to the stately angel. “Yes, I suppose we should.”

Tilly waited for him to climb down the leg of his own table, meeting him at the base, then moseyed over to the Nativity’s table where they waited with the others to see who would be escorting the angel on her initial tour.

Dolly appeared, giving both of them hugs, “Oh, Merry Christmas you two! I thought for sure Alexa would be moving us out of this apartment this year, but I guess she spent her money on redecorating the tree instead, huh?” The group laughed lightheartedly and soon, Tilly forgot all about her previous apprehensions as more of their friends appeared greeting them for yet another Christmas.

“Where’s the twins?” Robin finally tweeted, and everyone looked around for Oliver and Olivia, who were usually quick to meet up with them on the first day of the holiday season. But they didn’t need to wonder long, as Oliver appeared, nimbly climbing down the table leg. Instead of addressing his friends right away though, he looked back up to the top, waving to someone from up above.

“Down here, Rose!”

Tilly’s eyes traveled to where Oliver was looking and she watched as the beautiful angel gracefully floated down to floor-level. She was so unlike any of the others Alexa had either bought or been gifted with, and a slight hush fell over the entire crowd as she lightly set herself on the ground and smiled sweetly at Oliver. He began making introductions to those closest to them, and Tilly watched in fascination as the angel kindly shook each toy and decoration’s hand. While she smiled and spoke to everyone, she maintained a quiet and dignified air. She’s quite like the queens in fairy tales, Tilly thought.

Finally, Oliver and the angel made their way to Tilly’s group, and Tilly advanced forward as Oliver greeted them enthusiastically, “Tilly! Dolly! Captain! I’d like each of you to meet Rose.”

The much taller angel bent at the waist to take Tilly’s hand as Oliver continued, “She’s brand new, so this is her first Christmas.”

Tilly smiled up at Rose, nervous elation overcoming her as she felt like she had just met heavenly royalty, despite the angel’s kind demeanor. “It’s nice to meet you, Rose. I’m Tilly. Welcome to Alexa’s home.”

“Nice to meet you as well, Tilly,” Rose shook Tilly’s tiny hand, her voice the smoothest, most gentle voice Tilly had ever heard, matching her soft, pristine appearance perfectly. She didn’t linger long, moving to meet Dolly, then Captain.

“My lady, it is an honor,” Captain Tinsel bowed in his usual way. Tilly didn’t think much of it, not until Rose extended her hand to him, at which he maintained his gentlemanly bow and briefly kissed her hand, just as he’d done to her on his first Christmas here four years ago.

Tilly’s heart stopped and so did the world as she truly felt heartache for the first time in her life. The moment only lasted a second as Oliver moved Rose along and Dolly interrupted Tilly’s thoughts, “She seems nice!”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, she does,” Tilly replied quietly as she caught sight of Captain, whose gaze followed after Rose. She knew she shouldn’t be upset, especially not with the new angel, for she was awfully nice. So, she took a breath, I just have to get Captain’s mind on other things as quickly as possible.

If Tilly thought her Christmases before had seemed too short, this one was even shorter as she spent less time just being with Captain, and more time ensuring his time was filled with anything that didn’t have to do with Rose.

“Don’t you want to go to the dance this evening?” Captain asked one night, perplexed. “I thought you loved dancing?”

But Rose was going to be there, Tilly had overheard, and she knew fairy tale romances always included balls where the beautiful princess captured the prince’s heart. So, she simply, but truthfully replied, “You’re not that into dancing. Why don’t we go see how that adventure book ends? You know, the one we started Monday night?”

If Tilly had really taken the time to examine things properly, she would’ve noticed that she didn’t need to constantly divert their plans, as Rose rarely showed up for group events. She didn’t participate in the peppermint ball soccer games, nor did she spend much time with any of the decorations or toys. Usually, she was found sitting on her assigned perch watching the nightly happenings or the weather out the window.

Several of the others had tried to make friends with her, and while she was friendly enough, she didn’t laugh or joke around as most of them did. As for the Nativity set, she spent some of her time visiting the three wise men, mostly to ask questions about things that were going on, but was never seen around the shepherds, nor with Mary, Joseph, or Jesus. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ FindNʘᴠᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

By Christmas, Tilly was exhausted. Her plans to confide in Captain about her feelings for him had been dashed as soon as she laid eyes on Rose, and her entire holiday had been spent not only trying to make him love her back, but to keep him from falling for the beauty that resided above her. In the manger that Christmas night, Tilly fought to hold back her tears as she squeezed Jesus’ tiny hand, “I wish Captain Tinsel would love me back.”

The following year, Alexa had moved from her apartment to a small, but brand new house—her first home in which she owned. This would have been a delightful surprise for Tilly if Alexa hadn’t positioned her so that she couldn’t see her soldier anywhere. Quickly, she reached up to unhook her wire that first night, and heard the deep voice of Captain coming from the other side of the tree. Normally, his baritone voice made butterflies flutter in her stomach, but for the first time ever it made her stomach turn sour.

“Merry Christmas, Lady Rose. It is a pleasure to see you once again!”

“The pleasure is all mine, Captain Tinsel. Merry Christmas,” came her smooth reply.

Finally, getting the shiny new hook attached to her hat unlatched, Tilly took off to go find Captain, effectively interrupting his conversation with Rose with a “Merry Christmas” of her own. Her days were filled with constant diversions and interruptions as the weeks passed and she felt her mood growing duller with each night. It wasn’t that Captain Tinsel was any less friendly or kind to her. No, their friendship remained dedicated and strong, but it was quite apparent that he was interested in getting to know the tree topper angel as well.

One rare evening, she found herself with nothing to do for a change, as Oliver, Jasper, and Glint had invited Captain to join them for some games. The old Tilly would have had no problem seeking out a dozen other people to spend her evening with, but it’d been so long since she’d given herself time to spend with others, she’d forgotten that that was even a possibility. Instead, she sat herself up on her own little branch and wracked her brain for any way that she might make Captain see that she didn’t want to just be friends anymore. That she wanted more from their relationship. That she wanted him to fall in love with her.

Waking her from her thoughts, she heard someone clear their throat behind her, and she turned to see who it was, “Rose! Uh, hi,” Tilly stammered, surprised, moving to stand quickly. Rose never came to visit her.

“Tilly,” the taller angel nodded.

“How are you?” Tilly asked, unsure of what else to say.

“I’d say better than you this evening,” Rose said coolly. “Where is your handsome friend, Captain Tinsel? You are usually attached at the hip.”

Tilly swallowed nervously, then laughed with equal nerves, “Oh, he’s off with the guys.”

Rose nodded speculatively, then came closer to Tilly, less than half her size, “You know, Tilly, the Captain is a very handsome man. Surely you realize that he could easily have any woman he’d like.” Her tone remained conversational and cool, as she continued, “But dear, you are simply not it.”

Tilly’s eyes went wide. How did Rose know that she loved Captain? And how did she know that she worried every second of every night if she were good enough for the nutcracker to love back?

“You may be interesting and companionable to him, and that’s all good for a friend. But what he’s really looking for is someone with more finesse. Someone like him, who knows proper protocol and manners. Someone who matches his stately nature and grace. And you, little one, are not that with your fluffy feathered tutu and your short, round cuteness. Just as cute as can be with your floppy little hat sitting just like a cherry on top.”

Tilly didn’t know what to think at that moment. Rose had voiced every single fear she’d allowed into her heart over time, and as she compared herself to the beauty before her, she felt like shriveling up and hiding away with the Grinch. Rose was right, why would Captain Tinsel ever be romantically interested in cute, little her?

“Excuse me,” Tilly finally uttered. “I promised the kids I’d go see their skating and I’m late. Talk to you later!”

She hurried away, taking herself to the table where the Captain usually resided and the skating children were playing tag at the moment. She felt like crying, but dared not, should anyone see her. She had been such a fool all these years, she told herself. Wishing and wishing for Captain Tinsel to love her back, while she never had a chance.

And from that moment, with a heavy and pained heart, she resolved to stop trying. She was tired and stressed out, while all along Rose truly was a better match for her nutcracker. It was time for her to stop pretending that fairy tales were real. From now on, she vowed, she’d forget about the possibility of romantic love and focus on the other types of love Balthazar had taught her about long ago.

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