Big girls don't cry
40. A beta for my thoughts

Aleida’s POV

“How do you suggest we get hold of him and also make him volunteer to come with us without saying a word?” Luis asks uncertainly.

“That’s simple,” I answer. “Like you, Michael has made a promise to me that his loyalty is only with me. He’s not a traitor, and I know he’ll keep his word. Besides, he’s prepared reasonably for how to get to our new home. The only thing we need to focus on is getting him out of the Blood winter pack without being discovered.”

“And how do we do that?”

“We don’t do anything. You stay and keep an eye on the border as we have determined while I get in to pick him up.”

“But alpha, we can’t just let you do this alone!” a young man exclaims with a face full of worry towards his alpha.

“It’s okay with me, dear friend, this is my mates’ pack, and they won’t hurt me. I will be surprised if at all they manage to notice that I’m there,” I answer calmly. “In and out, ten minutes tops!”

Luis nods slowly, scratching his chin in thought. He wrinkles his nose from time to time before he finally relaxes. With a sigh, he purposefully nods this time.

“Okay, but if you’re not back in ten minutes, we’re going in to get you,” Luis says.

“That’s fine by me. If I know Michael right, he’ll already be at the border waiting for me to come back. Even though this wasn’t in our plans, it’s the best option we had for me to get out and leave without having everyone searching for me.”

“But, they are searching for you.”

“Yes, in the Rose moon pack. But we’re not going there, are we?” I ask, smirking.

Luis smirks back before he starts yelling out orders to our new pack members. I walk behind a tree to shift and put my clothes in my mouth, standing in front of them, waiting for everyone to turn. When I realize we’re ready for departure, I howl lowly to indicate that we should now start moving. We all run together in a group; Luis is by my side all the time, prepared to attack if anyone so much as dare to look at me the wrong way. I feel powerful and confident when my big paws pound against the damp forest surface. We’re one with each other. Each of us no longer has anything to lose; therefore, we’re prepared to die together if it were to be so. Even though I hope it won’t have to go that far. It’ll take at least half an hour for us to get to the rendezvous point. The idea is that my pack will stay there while I pick up Michael, and then we’ll come back there. It’s a bit silly to call the people my pack because I technically don’t have one yet, but I honestly don’t know what to call them otherwise... The distance is, in any case, no problem for me. I skip logs and duck for branches. My wolf and I are united, which makes the trip more comfortable. When we see the meadow, we slow down. The others stand on the ranks in front of me, and I give them a quick nod before proceeding toward my old territory. Just as I’ve previously assumed, Michael is at the border, sitting on a stone with a book in his hand. He looks up hastily when he hears me approaching. When he sees that it’s me, he throws himself at me in a hug.

“Where the hell have you been!? Kian and Miliano have been so worried–”

“It’s time to go, Michael. Are you with me or not?” I interrupt him.

“Always, on my honor, alpha,” he answers with a knotted hand over his heart.

“Good, time to go.”

I pull him with me, and we run towards the rendezvous point. We arrive in no time. Luis comes up to us and asks if someone saw us. When I calm him, he introduces himself to Michael.

“We must move members, be prepared to shift; we have a long journey ahead of us!” I shout.

Together we shift and begin our long journey home. Everyone has wolf smiles on their faces, and it makes me happy. They’re excited to start over again finally. Another chance to create the life they’ve always dreamt of without being judged over their history. That’s what our pack is so unique about; here, nothing from your past life matter. Are you loyal and pledge to follow me with respect? Then we’re ready to go. None of the others seems to have any problems with it, which makes me hopeful. I have the chance to improve the lives of the injured and innocent, which is precisely what I want to do—my purpose in life. We run for hours, and I notice how the others are getting tired. That’s why I decide that we should all rest down to the south by the sea. No one protest but seems instead to appreciate the opportunity to experience the sea, some for the first time; I’m one of them. We all fall on the ground once we arrive; fatigue is evident to all of us. A couple of hours of sleep before it’s time to move on again. I lay near the campfire in my wolf form, which Michael and Luis make; I barely have time to lie down before I slip into a deep sleep without worries.

Miliano’s POV

I don’t know what to do, think, or feel right now. My mate is gone, and my wolf howls unhappily inside. Several days pass without Aleida here with us. We send out patrols to search for her, but they come back empty-handed and even more frustrated every day than they are the day before. Our once happy home is now becoming a searching center. There’s always someone awake, and many voluntarily sit up late at night trying to figure out where they took Aleida. The members’ luna and queen’s disappearance deeply affect them; we all need her here with us. Now that we don’t have her both me and Kian understand everything she’s been trying to tell us. We fight more than usual since she’s not here to stop us violently. Now, we despise each other and are never in the same room. When Aleida is here, we somehow manage to co-exist for her sake, and now that she’s not, we no longer have any reason to play nicely with each other. I feel that Kian has done more wrong than me and vice versa; even though we both know deep down that this is our fault, pride stands in the way of acknowledging it. It’s stupid and childish of us to act as we do, but you don’t think rationally or logically when you’re so deep in sadness. The only thing we can think of is that we both have lost our mate, and we accuse the other of being more responsible for it. Right now, I’m sitting in my office in front of a big map. I mark all the places we search through and all the places her scent increases. Michael is also missing; I guess he really meant it when hand pledged his life to her. A knock comes from the door, and without waiting for an answer, Killian enters the room. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ (F)indNƟvᴇl.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Morning, alpha. The night patrol has come back without finding her. They managed to follow her scent a longer piece, but it again disappeared. We’ll find her, Miliano, on my honor.”

I really want to believe him, but I don’t know if I can. Aleida might as well lie dead somewhere; there’s practically a guarantee that our pups are dead by now... Considering what Jonathan has planned for her. It only increases the sorrow inside my chest. I want to scream, cry and break things around me, but I can’t; because I must be strong in front of my pack members. Instead, I’ll have to settle for silent prayer to the moon goddess that she makes sure to keep my mate safe if Aleida is still alive.

“Thank you, Killian,” I answer with a monotone voice.

Oh, moon goddess, I sound entirely dead, okay, I am, basically, at least on the inside. My heart no longer has any reason to beat; I want to stop my breath and stop existing. The only time I can imagine starting to breathe again is if I get to inhale her scent; otherwise, it doesn’t even matter.

“I understand it’s heavy for you, Miliano. But you can’t give up, not now. You must be strong and believe in your mate. She’s a real war machine, and she’ll survive; she has to. If I know Aleida right, she already has a plan that she intends to pursue, and she’s probably looking for her destiny. She must be allowed to do that if she wishes to do so. Neither you, me, nor anyone else can deny her that right. She must be allowed to do this in her own way and in her own time.”

“I know. I just want to know that my mate is safe...”

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