Dear Journal,

There is no rest for the wicked.

Exhausted,

Melody Hunter

Do you know what the best feeling in the world is?

Sleep, allowing your body to give into it after a long day of whatever the hell you were doing.

My body melts into the car seat as my head rests on the headrest. My body is horizontal so whoever might stumble across the car has to come up close to see me inside of it.

Letting my mind go numb and my body starts to painfully relax. After being up and getting the living daylights beat out of me letting my body relax hurts.

The car door opening faintly registers in my ears. I feel safe and it is all because of him, my shadow.

The door closes as my eyelids fight with me to stay close. His calm breathing sends me even further into my calm state. The seat being pulled back and being lowered would normally annoy me but right now I am happy that he is getting comfortable instead of fighting me on the whole ‘I pinned you now you have to keep training’ crap.

A small part of me, microscopic, wished he would yell at me. Tell me that I was stupid for shooting him. Tell me that I need to step up my game because the second that I step foot on the rogues' land it is every man for themselves.

Chase's presence is overwhelming and the fact that he does not say anything wipes the sleep right out of me. I can feel him sitting there watching me not uttering a single word letting me know how he is feeling.

Is he angry that I left him out there alone? I mean anyone could have come after him he was a sitting duck.

Chase clears his throat, “I’m sorry for being such a jerk,” he mumbles so lowly that a part of me thinks I made it up. Giving up the fight I slowly open up my eyes and take him in.

His head is resting on his fist as his propped up elbow rests on the headrest, his eyes lower down to mine. His dark eyes swallow me whole and suddenly I cannot control my facial features as I give him a small smile.

“I should be the one apologizing,” I sigh as I stare into his dark eyes and I see that they are not as black as I once thought they were they are just a very dark brown they almost blend into his pupil. “You know that my parents are the only thing that I have.”

He shakes his head, his eyes softening, “You have me. Your parents might have hired me to be your shadow but you must know you’re more to me than just a paycheck-you’re a...good friend.”

He thinks of me as a friend.

“Just a friend?” The words leave my lips before I can think about what I was saying. His eyes lock on mine and I want to take back the words I just said, suck them back up and act like nothing just came out of me.

“Do you think there is something more between us?” Chase straightens up and I force myself to roll my eyes.

“Pssh, no of course not. I was just making sure,” I scoff and roll to my other side wanting to stay away from his gaze.

“I told you that I am waiting for my mate. I am not going to let anything or anyone jeopardize that,” his voice is so soft.

“So Brooke and you were nothing? From what I heard at the party she broke your heart and ran off with some other guy,” his menacing growl makes my back stiffen and my eyes grow wide.

“What happened between Brooke and me is between Brooke and I,” he hisses and I can feel his angry stare on the back of my head.

“So you did love her? Chase, you said we were friends. I'm sorry to tell ya, but friends tell each other these things,” I say blandly staring at the car door trying to keep my impassive façade.

He sighs in defeat, “If I open up then you have to as well.”

“Fine, I have nothing to hide,” I try to muster up my courage but I stay staring at the door.

“I thought I fell in love with her. I guess it was the human side of me that wanted someone to be affectionate with and they do the same for me." He snorts, "I knew that the second that we both shifted that we might not be mates but what I was feeling,” his silence takes me by surprise I turn around to look at him. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows down and his lip goes into the captivity of his teeth. “What I was feeling couldn’t be just my human side. It felt so strong, so alluring that I started to convince myself that she was the one, my mate.”

“What happened after?” I whisper as if other people might be able to hear his vulnerability.

“I was ready to,” he clears his throat and there is a slight flush in his cheeks, “you know.” S~ᴇaʀᴄh the FɪndNøvel.ɴᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Have sex?” I clasp a hand over my mouth. He wanted to take his love for her to another level.

“God I knew telling you was a bad idea,” he drops his head into his forearm and covers his face from me.

“No, I’m sorry. Honest to God I am such a child, go on please,” my hand rests on his shoulder and he gently shakes it off as he lifts his head.

“No Melody, we did not have sex, but I was ready for that leap. I was ready for us to take the next step if she wanted to, God did she want to." He laughs this time, "Brooke nearly jumped me every time we were nearby of one another. When I finally decided to do it I went to her house where I found out that she had gained her wolf but had not shifted yet. I was beyond happy she was finally part of a pack and when I went to her instead of the normal loving look she would give me her clear disgust washed over her face. I didn’t hear from her for a couple of days. That is until Jess told me that he had slept with a newly shifted wolf. When he described her down to the birthmark on her shoulder I knew it was Brooke.” I gasp and shake my head slowly as the words sink into my mind.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t deserve that,” I start but he presses his finger against my lip.

“It’s not your fault. I was a complete idiot. I didn’t even know her that well. I left my pack when I was not treated like a wolf with their mind instead I was treated more like the shadow of my brother and just my luck I am accepted into her pack,” he says quietly.

“My mother’s?”

“Yes, Brooke’s pack since she is part of the Crimson Moon pack,” he lowers his head so we are eye to eye.

“So that’s why you stay away from all the girls.” I voice my thoughts and then mentally facepalm myself.

“You noticed,” he raises an eyebrow.

“You ignored Madison when she practically threw herself at you and all the girls in town when they clearly show that they are interested in you,” he breathes out a laugh.

“Clearly,” he rolls his eyes at me, “I don’t pay attention to them until I lay eyes on my mate,” he looks at me and his smoldering gaze makes me squirm in my seat. “Now your turn, why don’t you go out with someone? You said that your blood was mostly human there might be a possibility that you might not have a mate out there.”

Ah, the mateless curse.

The being human you’re screwed on the mate scale fucking curse. No wolf means no mate.

“I don’t know if you have noticed but I am not a popular girl." That's an understatement. "I mostly stick to myself and Trevin. No guy wants to go out with the wolf girl.” Averting my eyes to the roof of the car I continue, “I don’t know what I am looking for, to be honest Chase.”

“You can’t say that no guy wants to get close to you,” he positions himself in his seat copying my movements and he also stares up at the roof.

“Why do you say that?” I look down at the dashboard not wanting to look over at him.

He takes a moment, “I’ve seen how guys look at you.”

“Name one!” This time I have to look at him to see if he is telling me the truth.

“Luke,” his eyes darken and his eyebrows pull together as a frown sets on his lips. The Wanderer. The one that left me alone when I got hurt but Chase stayed by my side even letting the pain set in as he helped me out. I shrug at his statement.

“Well, that’s too bad since I haven’t even talked to him since that day.” I can feel the heaviness in my eyes grow once again and this time I do not fight it.

“One last question,” Chase's voice is like a melody to my ears in this quiet morning.

“Hmm,” I stare at him as the edges of my vision start to blur.

“You have never had a boyfriend then?” I cannot help but smile at him stupidly.

“Nope, never,” I yawn my arms wrap around myself as the morning coolness wraps around me, my eyes close. The leather seat next to me stretching catches my interest but not enough for me to open my eyes.

“Here you go,” I feel something drape over me that is cool at first but once it stays on me long enough it warms up. Chase’s scent envelopes me as I fall into a peaceful slumber.

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