I am Sam
Chapter Thirty-Three

CALEB

It can’t be, it has to be a trick, there’s no way that I can be fated to this girl, how can I be mated to... Vanya.

Just hearing her name in my head makes me rock hard; what the fuck is wrong with me. It feels like I’m losing my goddam mind; I need to know, understand, and get to the bottom of this and make it stop.

After what happened inside that dining hall last night, I can’t think straight. I had to physically stop myself from grabbing her, lifting her onto that table, and claiming her right then and there. I’ve never felt this out of control before, like every part of my body is zapping electrons like a goddam nuclear bomb.

Fuck.

I tried to focus on what was being discussed around that table, but I couldn’t. I can vaguely remember Malvessa and Perseus spewing bullshit about Lisbon’s whereabouts and that they would need some time to see if they could track her down at a price.

Sasha kept looking at me, wanting me to intervene, to do something, say something, but I couldn’t. My hand was intertwined with Vanya’s, and I never felt so complete and fucking scared in all my life.

Now here I sit, in this room at three in the morning, staring down at the hand that held onto hers, the absence of her touch like a drug I need more of. I’ve got to get out of here for a bit, to get some air, maybe kill something in the Unseelie wilderness, anything to get my mind back on track.

Heading out the door, it’s eerie and quiet, just the way I like it most would say, but I wasn’t always dark; no one ever is. It’s not like I was born this way; he made me this way, Ronan. I suppose he saw potential in what a dark soul I could become, so he drowned me in it every chance he could. Pain becomes your only friend when the monster ties you up and beats it out of you, and Ronan did his fair share of beating things out of me, every time anyone pissed him off, and he couldn’t take it out on them, it would be me who he unleashed all his torture onto. I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me because I learnt to enjoy the feeling of pain.

Halfway down this long dark corridor, I notice something, a shadow moving out in front of me towards the spiralling staircase. Narrowing my eyes, my body tenses when her scent hits me; letting out a small puff of air, I breathe her in again.

Vanya

Focusing my eyes on her as she travels swiftly down the stairs, I decide to follow her; I need to know, call me curious, is her soul just as dark as mine?”

~

I follow her down a long path out the castle gate; where is she going? Silently signalling the Wendigo to stay put, they don’t follow me; smirking at how well they respond to my silent command has me realizing that they are becoming in tune with my darkness just like I am with theirs.

I keep silently following her, and she’s completely unaware of my presence as I creep up behind her.

She finally comes to stand beside a lake, a mist layer covering the clear window pond as it stretches out in front of her, as peaceful as a statue, just like her.

I steadily creep closer until I’m only a few inches away from her; stalking her like a dark predator. I’m breathing in her scent, she smells like summer rain on freshly planted seedlings, and my heart constricts in my chest as I swallow hard. There’s no way she doesn’t know I’m here; my body is reacting to hers like magnets being drawn together, impossible to pull away.

“Can you feel me when I think about you?” I murmur, and she slowly tilts her head in my direction,

“I know who you are, what you are to me, but in the end, it won’t matter when I’m dead.” My jaw clenches, her voice is the most soulful sound I have ever heard, and it immediately draws me into her even more,

“What am I to you?” My voice reverberates low and deep. She suddenly takes a quick breath before finally exhaling slowly, her petite frame tensing where she stands.

“You are the darkness my soul has been calling to all my life,” My jaw clenches, again swallowing down a lump that’s been sitting in my throat since she came to sit beside me in the dining hall. Is this all true or just one of Malvessa’s sick jokes; I refuse to be tricked by her and her spawn. I need to know the truth,

“Turn around and face me,” My voice is completely stoic and low as I stare into the back of her head, she’s wearing a black cloak, and I suddenly need to know what she looks like underneath this heavy fabric.

“Why,” She whispers, “It will not change the outcome,” Taking an involuntary step forward until I’m standing so close that I can feel the heat radiating from her body through the fabric, my hands stretch out on either side of her, hovering beside her arms. I need to touch her, to look into her eyes and see for myself.

“Turn and face me, Vanya.” My voice is low and commanding, and she slowly turns around, keeping her eyes trained to the ground, the hood of her cloak covering her face. Looking down at her, my jaw clenches, “Look at me,” I murmur. The moment she tilts her head up, I finally get a glance at her lips; they’re full and plump, painted red; wetting my lips with my tongue, all I want to do is taste them.

I slowly lift my hands to either side of her hood when I pull it back; the moment it falls from her face and my eyes lock with hers, my breath hitches in my throat.

“Mine.”

She has the biggest, most beautiful blue eyes in the world, holding me captive in them as my darkness immediately drowns in the ocean of her soul.

I lift my hand to cup her cheek gently, the touch eliciting sparks running up my arm as my soul makes the connection, her skin, so silky soft, smooth and pure. I swallow hard as I gently run the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip, it parting in response as she gently leans into my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I need to know.

“I could tear you apart if I wanted,” My voice low as I drink her in, committing every part of her to the darkness of my soul; and the dark blue ocean in her eyes suddenly swirls with excitement as she continues to hold me captive,

“If you want to seem threatening, don’t go straight for death. Describe how you’ll torture me, the way you’ll destroy everything I am.” And my chest instantly constricts, my breathing becoming heavy as my eyes lower to her lips,

“Is my soul too dark for you, Vanya?” Tilting her chin up, she tilts her head just slightly as she drawls her bottom lip through her teeth,

“Your darkness doesn’t scare me, Caleb; it was made just for me.” I've never loved hearing my name on anyone's lips like I do right now. Those words instantly have me dipping my head and bringing her lips to mine, her warm breath fanning my own. It’s sweet and warm enough to bring me to my knees.

“I don’t think you understand just how much I want your lips,” A gentle breath escapes hers onto mine,

“Taste what’s always been yours,” The moment those words leave her lips, I can’t hold back; I claim her mouth, devouring her lips like there is no beginning and no end. A soft little moan escapes her as she finally parts her lips and grants me access, and I’m drowning; she tastes like every dark thought I’ve ever had.

I’m utterly intoxicated by her lips, the warmth of her tongue on mine; I’ve never tasted anything like Vanya before, her inner demons itching to play with mine. I want more; I need more, my cock straining hard inside my jeans. Instantly pushing her back against the tree behind her, a small gasp has me breaking the kiss, her eyes coming to life with new excitement as the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. It’s then that I notice the silver dagger in her hand; lowering my eyes to it, I finally look back into her eyes as I cock a brow with a smirk,

“A dagger. Are you flirting with me?” And she tilts her head with a smirk,

“It’s not for you,”

“Who’s it for?” My brows furrow questioningly,

“Me.” Scowling at her, I’m suddenly feeling confused as my eyes keep searching hers,

“Yours, for what?” Wetting her lips, she finally breaks eye contact with me as she looks down, “What do you need a dagger for?”

“To end my life.” She says, finally looking up at me again, and her expression is entirely impassive,

“What?” I tighten my grip on her without even realizing it as I swallow hard. Just as her eyes had done, her voice pierced me, penetrating my mind and suddenly breaking me down.

She tries to push away from me, but I instantly grip her around her throat as I push her back, holding her in place as I tilt her head up to mine, our eyes locking fiercely.

“Why would you say something like that?” I whisper low and threatening beside her ear,

“Because it’s true.” She breathes. Pulling back, I narrow my eyes on her,

“You’re mine,” I murmur, but she doesn’t even flinch at the sudden darkness in my eyes,

“You and I exist only in a what if, and if only,”

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“Why?” I mumble through a clenched jaw as I stare her down; tilting her head slightly, the swirls in her eyes darken, and I swear I’m hard as marble for this girl, pushing my hard-on straight into her stomach, eliciting a quick gasp as her eyes widen, her chest rising and falling faster and harder.

“It doesn’t matter,” She breathes, “By my eighteenth birthday, I’ll be dead,” My brows furrow as my entire body tenses in response,

“Why?” I grumble, tightening my grip around her throat, again pushing my hard-on up against her even more forcefully this time, and the friction has my cock twitching, aching to be let free; an even sharper gasp has her parting her lips in response; she likes this, she’s fucking turned on; I can see it in her ocean blue eyes.

“My path was decided for me, and it’s one I refuse to take.” She breathes,

“What path?” I murmur as my eyes pierce hers,

“I saw you in my dreams, but the moment she took you away, I stopped finding you there; she took you from me,”

“Who took me from you?” I grumble, holding her firmly in place,

“Mother, she knew that I was yours, so she cursed you with a fake mate, so you would never know. She thought I wouldn’t realize, that I wouldn’t notice, but the moment she cursed you, it was like you disappeared; you were gone, an empty place inside of me that ached for you.” I’m clenching my jaw, trying to keep a level head, but I’m unravelling fast.

“Why would she do that? Why would Malvessa go through all the trouble of keeping us apart?”

“She has already chosen a different path for me,”

“What path?” I grumble,

“It doesn’t matter,” Tears suddenly well up in her eyes, “If you are mine, then you should be the one to do it,” My brows furrow in confusion,

“Do what?” Pulling the dagger up, so the tip of the blade is pushing into her chest, she breathes heavily; she pulls my hand up to wrap it around the handle of the blade,

“Set me free.” Her bottom lip wobbles as more tears shimmer behind her eyes. My jaw tightens as I lower my eyes to the blade before having them snap back up to her,

“You want me to kill you?” Swallowing hard, she nods once,

“Please, I cannot do it myself; I’ve tried, but because of what I am, it won’t work.” A soft whimper escapes her lips as the tears finally fall from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks like a steady stream.

“No, I won’t. No, you’re mine,” I mumble, dropping the blade as it falls to the ground below. I’m shaking my head at her, my brows furrowing in response.

“You don’t even know me; you have a mate, one mother chose for you, one more deserving I’m sure to be by your side,” Her words immediately piss me off. I push her back hard against the tree behind her, holding her firmly in place as I crush my lips to hers,

“You. are. Mine,” I grumble as I claim her lips again, devouring them until they are full and swollen; only then do I slowly break the kiss, resting my forehead on hers, both of us panting heavily.

“You are my dark fairytale, and I; your twisted fantasy; together, we would have made magic, but we cannot be; she will not allow it,” She sniffs; and my chest is shaking, heaving as I narrow my eyes on her,

“Fuck Malvessa, I don’t care what she will allow; I will rip her to pieces if she gets in my way,” And my voice has never sounded this threatening before,

“You do not know; how could you understand? This is my hell, not yours; I am begging you, please... I- I will do whatever you ask, your friend, the girl, she seeks the stone, does she not, the firestone?” And my brows furrow in confusion as I stare at her,

“How did you...”

“And she seeks Lisbon, the dark witch, to break a curse on her mate, am I correct?” Gulping hard, more tears shimmer behind her eyes,

“How do you know all this?”

“I do not speak much, but that does not mean I am blind or deaf, mute or mindless.”

“Answer me, Vanya, how do you know about the firestone? No one mentioned it last night?” Tightening my grip around her throat, she gasps as her beautiful eyes drink me in,

“My raven, I see what she sees; I hear what she hears.” Gulping hard, I slowly release my grip on her as I take a step back,

“The raven is yours?” Nodding, she wipes away at the tears staining her cheeks,

“She is my spirit animal.” She says softly. I lower my eyes; I’m merely standing there trying to silently process all this when she speaks, instantly having me raise my eyes to hers, “I will help your friend if you help me.” And I swallow hard as I stare blankly at her. Is she seriously trying to trade her own life for Sasha’s freedom?

I want to say no; I should say no, so why can’t I?

Maybe it’s because I can see it in her eyes; she’s serious. I narrow my eyes as I look back down; what path is she talking about? What does Malvessa have planned for my mate?

My eyes raise to hers again, and I’m silently observing her as she does the same with me; it’s then that I cock my head at her, my eyes lighting up with darkness that should scare her, but it doesn’t,

“Fine. I will end your life for you, on one condition,” Something deep swirls around in her eyes, surprise, excitement...

“What do you want?”

“You.” Her brows furrow in confusion,

“Me?” She says softly. Nodding slowly, a grin creeps up at the corners of my mouth,

“If you want me to be the one who ends your life, then I want to claim you as my mate first," Stepping towards her, I gently run my hand down her cheek, down her collarbone, down in between her cleavage; eliciting a sharp intake of air as her eyes swirl with something dark and wild, "Only then will I do as you ask.” I murmur as my eyes travel back up to hers. She gives me a questioning look as she swallows hard,

“That’s all?” And she sounds out of breath,

“That’s all,” I nod, my eyes holding hers captive; thinking it over for a second, she narrows her eyes suspiciously, but then she lowers hers,

“I accept your condition,” I can’t help the smirk escaping my lips.

“Very well; when would you like to do this?” I ask her curiously. Tilting her head, she raises a brow at me,

“Tomorrow night, here, same time.” Nodding, I smirk,

“Tomorrow night it is then.”

Little does she know what she’s just agreed to, my naive little princess of darkness.

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