Axel

As I stepped into the large parlour room of Shadow Creek’s ancient castle, I heard a familiar sweet voice calling out to me.

“Axel? Is that you?” Lily called, sounding somewhat concerned.

“It’s me,” I replied gruffly and willed my sore legs to carry me towards her.

“Wh-where have you been? I’ve been worried sick; you missed our appointment.”

Lily had her face turned in my direction, but she stared right past me with that foggy, pale blue eyes of hers which used to be so full of life and wonder. She held a delicate porcelain hand out and waited for me to grip her fingers in mine. A new ritual I had gotten used to after she had lost her eyesight almost a year ago.

Looking back on everything, she had made significant progress in coping with everyday life despite her sudden handicap.

“I’m sorry about that, I-uh,” I tried to find the right words to say as I laid my hand in hers, but she closed her fingers around mine and jerked me harshly towards her.

“You ever do that again, you are a dead man, Axel Scott, you hear me!?” Gone was the sweet, yet concerned twin from a split second ago. She had been replaced by the Lily I grew up with. Fierce, full of confidence and ready to take on any challenge. “I said, do you hear me, Axel?” she seethed and constricted her fingers around mine to prove her point.

“Oh, come on, Sis, what can I say, I got, uh-preoccupied.” A well-placed line I had used on her many times before and always got away with it.

“Don’t you dare spin that shit on me, Axel!”

Wow, ok, I guess I underestimated her current state of emotions. She was livid and I could see the glistening of her fangs already elongated in the back of her mouth.

“You are lying to me! You have lied to me for a while now!” She yelled accusingly.

I didn’t have the strength for arguing, not then anyway. I was tired both physically and mentally, whether she sensed it or not, I didn’t give a damn.

I was sinking inside. Drowning. Slowly and with an entire pack witnessing my demise. Even though I felt like death, I was desperate to keep the last bit of breath in my lungs as the world pulled my head forcefully underwater. Life wanted me dead. Wanted to kill off the last ounce of spirit I had left.

Without taking the time to think my actions over, I ripped my hand out of her grasp and watched as she somewhat stumbled forward, almost losing her footing. I did not step in to help her. Instead, I looked down on her as she scrambled to gain her footing and shifted into her wolf’s eyes.

Slowly she turned to fully face me, her chest heaving up and down angrily and the golden orbs of her wolf staring straight into my soul.

“Don’t think for one moment that I cannot sense your anguish, Axel,” she spoke slowly but with meaning, clenching her hands into fists at her sides.

It was already dark outside, but the inside of the castle was dead quiet, something that rarely ever happened. She must have ordered everyone to stay clear prior to my arrival.

“What do you want me to say, Lily?” I asked, my tone laced with poison. I knew she only cared but I was emotionally drained and almost hollow inside. I did not have the strength left in me to fight the ones I loved.

Her eyes seemed to soften a bit as she took a step closer, “I want you to tell me the truth,” she said with an unsteady voice.

I sighed deeply and sank down onto one of the plush grey couches, running my hand through my already messy, damp hair, “fine, what do you want to know?” I breathed. Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the Find ɴøᴠel.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

For a while it was silent, and I did not dare look up to see the disappointed expression on her face. It was only when I heard the soft thuds of her feet moving closer that I dared to look. She hesitantly sat down on the couch to my left and blindly reached for the hems of her flowy pink dress. Tugging it down and making sure she was decent.

With a deep breath, she switched back to her foggy human eyes and asked, “are you happy, Axel?”

I scoffed and shifted my weight uncomfortably in my seat.

“Where is Ray?”

She kept quiet, waiting for me to answer her question.

“Did you ask him to stay away so that you could scold me like a child?” I didn’t know what had come over me, but I felt the bitterness deep in my gut before the words came out, striking the one dearest to me straight in the heart.

She flinched, but took another deep breath, pulled back her shoulders and asked again, “are you happy, Axel?”

I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I couldn’t lie to her or myself anymore.

As result, a long, uncomfortable silence fell between us.

“I spoke to Cassius,” she finally said, sounding somewhat hoarse and broken, “he wants you to go back home.”

My home. Our old home, Hollow Stone, where Cassius, our older brother was the Alpha.

“I-we are both worried about you,” she explained as I let out a bitter laugh. She ignored it and kept on talking, “you’re not eating the way you should, Axel, you barely sleep, and exercise yourself to a point where your body won’t be able to handle the strain anymore.”

I leaned forward onto my knees and intertwined my fingers as my right leg started to jump nervously. Don’t be mean, don’t be mean, she only cares.

“This is not healthy. I know you don’t want me to talk about her, but-”

“Don’t,” I said, my voice serious and deadly.

“But it is the mate bond that’s making you sick. Rejecting it will only make it worse.”

“Don’t,” I growled again, this time a bit louder than before.

My whole body was starting to shake at that point and the terrible pain I constantly wore in my chest stung like a dagger. Like a dagger being forced deeper into an already infected wound.

“I have arranged for your bags to be packed. Tomorrow morning, a vehicle will be taking you back to Hollow Stone where Cassius will be waiting for your arrival.”

Another bitter laugh escaped my lips, and I shook my head resentfully as I got up, “sure,” I replied venomously.

“Axel, please,” she tried, but I have had enough and walked away, swiftly and deliberately. As I stepped out of the room, I heard her break down behind me.

I should have gone back. I should have begged for her forgiveness and thanked her for caring so much, but I didn’t. At that very moment, I didn’t feel bad for leaving her.

All I felt was agony. The same brutal torment that had been eating away at my insides for years.

She had no idea what I had been through. What I was still going through.

That said, I would rather have her hating me for years than pitying me for another day.

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