In Reach?
Let me love you

That Night

Mira’s POV

The nerve of Liam to take the books away. But that doesn’t matter anymore. I already know what I need to for this ritual. I just need to get myself ready.

The sun just about set and I’m already getting my supplies. I think this time I’m just going to use four drinking glasses and take a knife with.

“And what is it you’re busy with now?”

I look behind me and see Liam leaning against the kitchen doorway staring at me fumbling in the drawers.

“I’m getting ready for the ritual.”

I can hear him walking closer to me, as he sighs. “Mira. Are you really going to be doing this? This is ridiculous.”

“Then just let me do it.”

“Why are you se eager to do this? Why do you want to do this tonight?”

Because it’s a full moon.

I turn around, putting the stuff in a bag and walking towards the front door.

“I’m not going to just let you wander off alone in the woods at this time of night.”

I know he doesn’t believe it. I know he thinks I’m just being petty. Maybe I am. But I have to try. This in itself will maybe help me answer some questions.

“Fine. Then you can watch.”

I leave the front door open as I walk out, making my way to the grand hall where the lake is.

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He’s starting to work on my nerves. He’s been asking questions non stop since we left the house. It's a non-stop repetition of 'are we there yet?'

“Why all the way out here?”

“Uugh! Do you ever stop?”

I can hear him snicker though. “If you answer my questions, I won’t have to keep asking.”

“Fine. I’m going to the lake.”

“The lake? Why there?”

“Coz. I need water.”

“Water?”

“Don’t even.” I stop him before he becomes a child that asks ‘why’ for everything one says.

We finally get to the lake, and I notice that the dock I saw last time is luckily on this end. I run towards the dock and stop at the end, just before its edge. The water looks deep, calm and cold. There is a slight breeze in the air as I hear it flow through the woods. And the moon is brighter than ever, shining its reflection through the water.

I sit in a kneeling position as I start packing out the stuff from the bag. I can sense Liam’s eyes on me. Looking over my shoulder I see him leaning against one of the log posts of the dock, watching me intently.

I pack out the four glasses in front of me. One already has soil in it, to represent earth. One, I lay just as is, to represent air. In another, I put a small tealight candle in and light it with some matches, to represent fire. I bend over the dock to pour some of the lake water into the other glass, to represent water. I lay all four glasses around me, as if blocking me in a square.

This is it. This may work and do something, or I’m just going to make a fool of myself. But I’m desperate.

I take a deep breath. “Selene.” I say gently. “I call out to you. I want you to undo what you did. I want you to take me back.”

Silence.

“Selene? Please, you know I don’t belong here. My presence here has done nothing but cause trouble. Take me back.”

Silence.

I hear a sigh behind me. “Come on Mira. Let’s head back.”

But that’s when I remember, the knife. I grab it and grip the blade with my other hand. I pull it through my hand to get my blood to drip.

“Mira, what are you doing?”

I squeeze my fist to get more blood flowing, and just let it drip before me. But still nothing.

I can hear Liam walking to me again.

“Selene! You can’t do this, you can’t ignore me. This isn’t what you promised me. What more do I have to go through?” I shout into the air, up to the moon.

I remember what she promised me, what I asked for that night,- someone to love. I asked to be granted with someone to love wholly, to help me find someone that can perfectly fill that gap I was always feeling. And as much as I know that I love Liam, I really do, I know it shouldn’t be. I’ve already hurt too much because of him, and the fact that it’s him makes it hurt that much more. I don’t want this if it means I have to go through torment for him because of him. It’s too toxic. I don’t want to hate him. I don’t want to hate myself for loving him.

I’m so angry as I’m squeezing my bleeding hand, I didn’t even realize just how much it was bleeding. The blood was already dripping through the cracks of the dock and into the lake.

And then suddenly there is an instant silence as the wind stops blowing, the leaves stop swooshing and even the crickets stop chirping. There is dead silence, even Liam’s footsteps are still. I look down when I hear a cracking sound. All the glasses have cracked. Why? The water is already leaking out of the one. And the candle has gone out in the other.

Why? What does this mean? Is she refusing to help me.

“Selene?”

“Enough of this Mira. Let’s go.” I feel his hand on my shoulder, but I hear the urgency in his voice.

I knew this was a long shot, but I really preferred no results than this. Is Selene really refusing to help me?

I sigh, as I get up. But just as I turn around to follow Liam, I feel a hand push me on my chest, causing me to fall backwards and into the lake. I gasp at the suddenness of it. And feeling the cold water envelope me like a blanket from behind, I feel like I’m pulled into a whole new reality.

I don’t know where I am or how, but I’m seeing glimpses in front of me, as if I’m really there. I see the head-members, they’re seething. I see Alex, he’s desperately running to me. I see figures fighting, and there’s so much blood, so many dead bodies. I see Liam, he looks murderous, like he has become one with his wolf.

But all of a sudden the images stop as I’m coughing. I’m coughing up water, and Liam is hovering over me with a very concerned look on is face.

“Shit. Mira. Can you hear me. Look at me.” He bends down, cupping my face.

I’m still trying to catch my breath not knowing how I lost it in the first place. “Wha-, what happened?”

“You fell into the water. I jumped in after you, but it,…..it was like you were sinking down so fast.” He looks trembling. I don’t know if it’s from the cold water though. ”Shit Mira. You had me so worried. When I finally got you out you weren’t breathing. I almost thought,…” He grabs me into his chest as he hugs me.

“I’m fine.” I have to tell him. I can see the worry in his eyes, I can feel his body trembling, I can feel his uneasiness through our bond. This really got to him. “Liam, I’m alright.” I hug him back.

“Come on. Let’s get back.” He stands up and pulls me up under his arm.

We’re both soaking wet and walking back in silence. I don’t think either of us really knows what to make of this night. I don’t even know what to make of what I saw. Did Selene show me those glimpses? Are they flashes of what is to come? Or are they just figments of my imagination?

But why do I keep having these flashes of Liam looking so murderous, of him chasing me, and me running for my life? What does this mean?

Is Selene trying to tell me something? Do I really need to get away from Liam?

I think I need to keep my guard up around him. I mean, he is doing the same with me. Maybe he is just as much a threat to me as he claims I am to him and his pack.

But tonight, something definitely changed. He took me back to his room, saying my things were already moved there. I didn’t complain, still a bit distracted form everything going through my mind.

I hear him turn the shower on. I guess he must have already jumped in. I’m still busy taking off my own wet clothes, when I feel him pull me into a back-hug. I can feel his skin against mine, and I know he must have taken his clothes off too. I can feel him slipping off my bra. But I don’t know what he’s planning with this.

“Liam?”

But he silently pulls me with him to the bathroom. When we’re in front of the shower I see him taking his boxers off, and then just staring at me. I figure he wants me to take my panties off too. So I do. I don’t really know how to respond to this side if him, - his silent side. He doesn’t look angry or annoyed.

When I’m standing in front of him naked, he takes my hand and pulls me into the shower with him. He turns our bodies so that the water is spraying right between us from the side, wetting both of us. But he isn’t taking his eyes off of me, and neither can I take mine off his. We’re just lost in that moment.

I see him reaching behind me, bringing shower gel and a loofah. He lathers it, and starts washing my body so gently, and he looks very focused doing it, making sure to not miss a spot. He even gets on his knees to wash my legs all the way to my toes.

I’m so enticed with what he’s doing, I figured I can return the favour. So as he moves me to stand under the water and rinse the soap from my body, I take the lathered loofah and start washing him too. He doesn’t seem bothered by it, but I can see his eyes and muscles getting less tense. I’m just glad he lets me wash him. It makes me feel appreciated, that he would allow himself to be in such a vulnerable state with me.

After our shower he gets us both towels. He just wraps the towel around his waist and comes to help me dry myself before he wraps it around me as well. He walks me to the huge bathroom mirror in front of the basins and starts brushing my wet hair. I just stand and watch him do it, it seems to calm him more.

When he’s done, he just stands there looking at me through the mirror, holding me from behind as he sighs. It’s like he knows, there’s nothing else he can do to prolong this. This is where we either start arguing or just walk away from each other.

I turn around in his hold and look up at him. I can see his desperate eyes. But I’m still freaked out about what happened and my wolf is unsure how to feel about Liam at this very second. She knows we can’t stay mad at Liam. But if we fall for him any longer, we will be locking ourselves up deeper in our own prison.

I try to side step him, but he blocks me putting his hand out on the counter. “Mira?”

“Please, just let me,-“

But he suddenly pulls me into his tight embrace, making my body fit into his as he snuggles into my neck.

“Mira,” he whispers with a shaky voice into my neck, “even if you don’t want me,……..is it too much to ask to just let me love you?”

I tense in his hold at hearing this. Liam has never said these words to me, he never said that he loves me. All he ever said was that I’m his. It honestly just made me feel like a possession, but maybe I never understood what he meant. I know that wolves are very territorial. But what if all this time, him saying that, was actually his way of loving me, of claiming me as ‘his’ to love?

“Liam?” I pull back trying to look him in the eyes and ask him. But he stops me as he places his fingers on my lips.

“Please Mira. Just let me. Even if it’s just for tonight. Let me show you how much I want you.” He leans in, with his forehead against mine taking in my scent.

I can feel his lips already leaning in to kiss mine and I don’t pull away. I want this too.

I never opened myself up to the idea of him ‘loving’ me. I am scared of the idea that someone might love me this much, but I was terrified for admitting that I want someone to love. But I somehow got over that fear and asked Selene to show me whom I can love, whom I can give myself to. And here he is, in front of me, asking for nothing but to let him love me.

Why am I pushing him away? I know I’m afraid of what might happen to me if I love him, but I’m already willing to do so much for him with what I already feel. Maybe if I make myself vulnerable to him, for even just one night, maybe I’ll stop being afraid.

He kisses me so slowly, but so deeply. I know he wants to make this last. I wrap my hands around his neck and I don’t hesitate to wrap my legs around his waist as he picks me up. Not long after I already feel those soft silky sheets against my back, as he lays soft kisses down my neck.

This whole night he made sure that not a second went by without him laying a kiss somewhere on my body. He didn’t just sleep with me, he didn’t just ‘fuck’ me, but he made love to me.

Every fiber in his being, told me that he wanted it to be just me and him in that moment. Like two lost souls reuniting and merging without a care of what life even is.

It was so intense that I could feel the tears running down my face, but I didn’t want him to see them, I didn’t want him to think anything of them. I just wanted him to feel them, feel the passion of emotions he let run through me, through our mate bond. I know he can feel it, just as I feel his emotions. We were one in mind, body and soul. And it made me cry more tears thinking of how we got here, and what is to come,- anger, blood and pain.

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