joy.
record XVI: theory//saudade.

“I can’t believe you did this!” exclaimed Yasha. She paced back and forth in Evangelique’s room, her hands nervously holding onto her side.

The night was passing onward, flying into to the early morning. Eva could feel her eyes become heavier. However, sleep was no option for her at the moment. She had to deal with Yasha, first.

“Look, I have nothing against the Lieutenants,” declared Yasha. “But you’re still new here. You haven’t even finished your training for teaching!”

Yasha sighed strenuously as her right hand brushed through her short, curly teal hair.

“I mean, are you sure you can handle this?” asked Yasha. You came to Mumei to become a teacher. What about that?”

Eva fiddled with her golden camellia. Her body began to feel deprived of a soft warmth that she knew as her bed.

“Hey,” called Yasha. “Are you listening?”

“My mother was a teacher,” replied Eva softly. “She loved teaching others about the flowers and plants around us. Ever since I was a child, I have followed after her footsteps, wanting to never forget her by being just like her. So, I applied for a teaching position here in Mumei with Aleithia Mission Organization, and I moved here, so I could teach children about the plants and flowers of this world, just like my mother.”

A soft yawn made its way out of her mouth.

“I still can be a teacher, just like her...and I even though it originally wasn’t a part of my plan, I need to be a Lieutenant now as well,” said Eva sleepily. “I can’t explain it now, but I promise I will tomorrow. I mean that.”

She looked at Yasha drowsily and smiled gently. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Find_Nøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“So please...until then, wait,” asked Eva. “Keep this a secret...”

Her head began to nod off. Yasha sat next to Eva, right on her bed. She held Eva up carefully, hoping she wouldn’t fall.

“Fine,” mumbled Yasha.

“Thank you,” replied Eva quietly. “And...another thing.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t...let Brother Augustine know.”

The next day, Evangelique woke in the early afternoon. Yasha covered for her, telling the others hadn’t been getting a good sleep due to the nervousness she felt when she thought about teaching.

As payment for her good deed and as a fulfillment to her promise, Evangelique told Yasha about her decision to become a Lieutenant.

To her surprise, Yasha took the information kindly and even encouraged her. By the end of the conversation, Yasha promised that she would not let another soul find out her secret.

With a happy heart, Evangelique soon parted from Yasha’s presence to meet up with Tsubaki, who had made plans to meet with her the night before. To her surprise, no one at the university was suspicious of her encounters with Tsubaki. Not even Augustine.

Perhaps, thought Eva, this was the way Headmaster Rowan protected her secret.

Gandill Boardwalk was as beautiful as usual, with vivid green vines of ivy growing from out of the snow. They wrapped themselves around the bars of the boardwalk, letting evidence of life come through in the form of purple blossoms.

Evangelique gazed into the blue scenery of the ocean. It was vast in size, bold in color, and brilliant in sight. She couldn’t tell where it ended and didn’t want to think it did.

“So, now that you have become a Lieutenant, I can tell you more about what we have been facing in Mumei,” said Tsubaki. He stood alert and civil.

“I had been wondering about that,” replied Eva. “I mean, the incident at the tavern was quite random, after all.”

“Quite the contrary, madame,” stated Tsubaki. “Recently, we have found many incidents connect to what occurred at the tavern.”

“How so?”

“Every criminal we have found claims they loathe the Lieutenants for some reason or another.”

“But...that’s a rather common thing to find in the criminal’s Lieutenants catch, right?”

“Correct. However, these criminals are obsessed. Everything they say sounds the same as the other criminals before them.”

Tsubaki shifted his right hand from out of his pocket. He began to play with the end of his white scarf.

“It makes me wonder if someone much more powerful than them is trying to get our attention...” murmured Tsubaki.

“But if someone is trying to get our attention, then why would they send unintelligent crooks?” asked Eva.

“Because they’re disposable,” replied Tsubaki. “They do their damage, and if caught, no harm comes to our enemy. It’s a cheap way of spreading discourse. Even now, the people in Mumei question if the Lieutenants are doing all they can to protect them.”

Silence fell among the two. Eva looked to the ocean waves licking the sandy and snowy shore. Tsubaki sighed heavily and lowered his face.

“I...I’m sorry,” said Tsubaki, randomly. He leaned on the metal bars of the dock wearily and looked down. “I know it sounds crazy to think there’s something more to this, but I’ve seen something like this before.

Evangelique looked at him. His face was covered by his ginger hair, as it typically was, but she could tell something was wrong with him even without seeing his face.

“Tsubaki, what’s wrong?” asked Eva in a compassionate way. Tsubaki lifted his head and looked into her eyes.

“I know you have lost someone dear to you, but you don’t seem to talk about it,” expressed Eva. You don’t seem to know what to do. You...”

‘You’re...lost...’ thought Eva.

She wished to say those words, but they wouldn’t come out, no matter how hard she tried.

“You’re right,” replied Tsubaki in a quiet voice. “I don’t talk about it. I apologize.”

“No, no! You don’t have to!” responded Eva in a worried tone. “I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

Evangelique looked down as she tucked a lock of her hair behind her left ear.

“But if you need to talk about it, don’t be afraid to talk,” she said. “I know we met only a few weeks ago, but if you need someone to listen to you, I can listen.”

Tsubaki stared at her for a moment; before he turned his gaze from her. He stood up tall again and put his hands into his coat pockets.

“Her...her name was Eleanor,” said Tsubaki. “She was the only person who I could call family...and I do miss her. I miss her so much.”

Evangelique felt her heart flood with heart-crippling rapport. The loss of her beloved mother came to mind, as it always did when she faced someone with similar sorrows.

Even after many years, she longed to awaken each morning to the smells of her mother’s cooking. As she got older, she wished her mother was there to tell her about making friends and falling in love; and about becoming a refined young lady.

On the day she left Aleiliyo, she wished more than ever that her mother was there to see off.

Yes, the weight of losing a loved one was something that even time couldn’t fully erase, and the first days following that loss were the worst of all, for what was once there, breathing and existing was now lost far from the mortal realm.

“I’m sorry for your loss...” uttered Eva once more. She felt guilty that she couldn’t do more. She felt convicted for being unable to say more.

The day sky quickly passed from cerulean blue to tangerine and violet. As they parted, Evangelique waved and smiled politely. Tsubaki waved back and tried to force a small smile.

As he opened to door to the place he called home, Tsubaki inhaled the smell of dying flowers. The house itself was in a strange state of grief, with the shadows sitting within the crevices and cabinets. Deplorable loneliness creaked in the floorboards; a chilling stillness fogged the glasses and china.

Tsubaki took off his coat and let it drop to the floor. He took off his crimson boots and left them to lie in the middle of the entrance. Like a prisoner with shackled feet, he dragged himself away from the front of the house to a small bedroom.

In the room, bed sheets draped from off the mattress of a bed. Papers and books had been left scattered on the wood floor. Dead flowers protruded from the cracks in the floorboards, letting their rotting petals fall.

Tsubaki walked to the unkempt bed and curled up into a fetal position. Achiness covered his body, and heaviness filled his heart and lungs. Though he shivered, he felt a nauseating warmth rest on the surface of his skin.

On the nightstand next to his bed was a musty photograph of an elderly woman in a sunflower-yellow dress. She kept her hair in a silver bun, with only a few loose strands resting by her ears.

Right next to her, a younger Tsubaki stood awkwardly, without a smile on his face. He didn’t grow up learning how to laugh and smile, so the concept of it was new to him.

She was the one who taught him how to smile.

She was the first one to make him laugh.

With shaking hands, Tsubaki picked the photograph up. His entire body felt pangs of overwhelming ailment as he recalled the memories of Eleanor’s comfort.

Did he take her for granted?

Could he have saved her?

Was there a way to turn back time and exchange her life for his?

Silent, shaking sobs came from his lips, and he curled up even more.

He was lost--and without her, life didn’t seem worth living.

Sᴇarch the FindNovel.net website on G𝘰𝘰gle to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.