Legends of Amacia The Awakening
Chapter 26 A Crisis of Memory

At midnight, Hanna once again stood on the roof of the Red Tower staring out to the east over the sea. The crystal capstones of the spires glowed softly in the darkness, illuminating the area in a soft glow. She felt ill at ease, very unsettled in her spirit as the sea breeze blew her black evening gown and hair. The skirt part of her dress fluttered in the breeze with her hair. A deep, troubled sigh escaped her lips as she folded her arms across her bare belly. The dress covered her chest in a folded pretzel halter-top that left her abdomen bare from below her breasts to her waist where the skirt covered everything else. A silver sash tied around her waist completed the outfit. It was one of her more sensual outfits and she knew it. But why she chose that particular outfit that evening eluded her. Everyone heaped praise on her choice of attire, including Enoch. But after eating dinner and hearing so many compliments on her beauty, Hanna excused herself from the table abruptly. She vanished into the Red Tower’s many corridors, wandering aimlessly until she reached the roof.

Hanna’s chest started constricting as tears and soft sobs started bubbling up. A deep, soulful wail escaped her lips as she covered her eyes with her hands. “What is this?” she sobbed softly. “What am I doing? I know better.”

“Know better than to do what?” Josephine called out as she approached; now having mastered walking enough to not need any assistance. She had on a beautiful silver halter-top dress that reached just past her knees. It fit her perfectly as if she’d been poured into it.

Hanna jumped with fright, turning to the giant 1st Age cyborg with a squeal. Seeing a truly concerned, motherly look on Josephine’s face, Hanna whimpered, “Oh, it’s you, Jo. Please don’t sneak up on my like that. You scared me to death.”

“It was not my intention, little sister,” Josephine replied softly, seeing Hanna having an emotional crisis. “I’m sorry I scared you like that.”

“It’s okay,” Hanna replied in a choked tone, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m just not feeling like myself this evening.”

“I knew something was wrong,” Josephine murmured as she stopped in front of Hanna, kneeling down. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Hanna looked into Josephine’s eyes and choked. Her lips quivered and tears gushed forth as she broke down into sobs. “Momma?” she sobbed, seeing the reflection of her mother in Josephine’s eyes.

“I see,” Josephine murmured, reaching out and pulling Hanna into a caring embrace. “Come here, little one.”

Hanna wrapped her arms around Josephine’s neck and sobbed deeply on her shoulder. “I’m lost! I don’t know what to do or where to turn!” she wailed.

“Be calm, little sister,” Josephine cooed. “I’m here for you. We’re all here for you. You don’t have to bear this burden alone.” Tears welled up in Josephine’s organic eye as she felt Hanna’s angst and grief. “Let it out,” she cooed, choking on the emotions rising in her. “Let out the pain of your loss all those decades ago. It’s time to release it, my child. I know your pain. Let it out.”

Hanna cried deeply, releasing a lifetime of heartache, misery, and terror as Josephine stroked her back gently. “I couldn’t save them!” Hanna wailed. “My mother, father, brothers, and sisters: I couldn’t save them! They died in front of me and I couldn’t stop it!”

With those words, Josephine realized what was happening. “It’s okay, my child,” she cooed, choking back her own tears. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a child when the monsters took your family. You didn’t know how to stop them.”

“She’s right,” Selina called out from her wheelchair, tears running down her cheeks as Electra rolled her over to them. Selina had on a sleeveless halter-top black dress that reached to her knees. Like Josephine’s dress, it looked like Selina had been poured into it. Electra wore a midnight blue blouse and trouser outfit. Kida and Enoch accompanied them, bearing solemn faces. Kida had on a sleeveless tan sundress that reached to her mid-thighs while Enoch wore a white shirt and tan trousers. “You’re not to blame,” Selina declared. “You couldn’t save them any more than I could have saved Kaitia from the supernova. It’s not your fault.” She reached out and touched Hanna on the shoulder when she came within reach. “You’ve let this pain fester for far too long,” Selina sobbed. “It’s time you released it and bury the demon that keeps tormenting you.”

“Very good timing, Miss Selina,” Josephine congratulated. “Hanna’s greatest hurt has finally risen to the surface. It’s the last obstacle to her healing.”

“I thought so,” Enoch said softly, kneeling down and putting a comforting hand on Hanna’s shoulder. “It’s okay to let it out, Hanna. We believe in you. Just believe in yourself. You can do this. You’re a Caverias.”

“But I don’t want to be a Caverias,” Hanna cried bitterly. “I don’t want to be this messiah and have to face the monsters and Darkness any more. I’m sick and tired of it! I’ll never get my parents or brothers and sisters back! I just want everyone to leave me and Selina alone!”

“You don’t mean that,” Electra replied. “You’re hysterical with grief. You’ve pushed this pain down for so long it’s festered until it’s now ready to pop. We love you, Hanna. We’re here to help you.”

“No, you’re not!” Hanna cried in hysterical grief-stricken anger. “No one helps me. I’m alone. I’ve always been alone. You want something I cannot give! How can I give love when I had my heart torn out as a child? I’m lost and will always be lost.”

“This is it,” Enoch breathed. “I had doubts, but no longer. The prophets said this would happen.”

“Hanna,” Selina cried out in anger, deeply hurt by Hanna’s irrational words. “Look at me, Hanna!”

Hanna turned from Josephine’s embrace, facing Selina. Before she could do anything, Selina smacked Hanna, letting her claws dig in leaving scratches across Hanna’s face. The hit shocked Hanna as Selina wept, “How can you say that? Have you learned nothing since we were married? Did what happen to you in the Black Fortress addle your brain? You’re not alone. It’s impossible for you to be alone. We’re telepathically fused for Christ’s sake! I knew something was up at dinner this evening with you. First, you’re confused, then you’re fun, and then you become moody and distant. You’re wrestling with something you shouldn’t be tackling alone. I’m your soul mate, Hanna. Would you leave me alone in this cold cruel world? I love you, Hanna. I always have. How can you say you’ve always been alone? You’re terrible. It’s so selfish and unfair! Don’t I mean anything to you?”

“Oh, dear,” Electra cooed. “I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Selina,” Hanna whispered in shock, touching her stinging face. “I....”

“Don’t say anything,” Selina cried bitterly. “After everything we did together, how we healed each other’s hurts, how could you even think that you’re alone? Don’t you get it? You’re not alone! You can’t let the ghosts of the past take away what we fought tooth and nail to get! You may give up on yourself, but I’m not going to give up on you. Come back to me, Hanna! Come back to me, Hannibal! I need you! We all need you!” She started to slap Hanna a second time, but Hanna’s hand moved quick as lightning, stopping the strike.

Tears burst out of Hanna’s eyes as she saw Selina sobbing deeply. “I am so sorry, Selina,” she wept. “I don’t know what came over me to say those mean things to you. It was uncalled for and worse yet, it was wrong. Please forgive me. Forgive me, Selina!” She fell at Selina’s feet and cried in her lap, holding on to her legs. “I’m so stupid!” Hanna wailed. “I have all the help I could ever want around me and yet, I stubbornly refuse to accept it! What a fool I am. Please forgive me, Selina.”

Hanna’s grief reached Selina in her anger. Touching Hanna gently on the back, she leaned down and kissed Hanna on the top of her head. “It’s okay,” she purred, her emotions coming back into balance. “I forgive you, Hanna. But you must remember, you can’t do everything yourself. You should have told us the memories of your bereavement were rising uncontrollably this evening. We could have helped you.”

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Hanna cursed herself, sobbing. “I should have known better.”

“It’s okay,” Kida cooed, kneeling down and touching Hanna on the back with Selina. “No one can be strong forever, except the Almighty. It’s time you released this pain. It’s poisoned you for your entire life.”

“She’s right,” Josephine agreed, composing herself. “It’s a toxic poison that has seeped into every corner of your being. Believe me, I know what you’re going through because I endured it myself when my beloved Bolthor betrayed me and my family. He slaughtered every one of our children before my eyes in his hate and lust for power. I saw him...kill our....” The wound of Bolthor’s betrayal became ever more apparent to those present as Josephine broke down with a deep wail of grief. “He killed them,” she wept. “And I couldn’t stop him!”

Hanna suddenly lifted her head from Selina’s lap, looking to Josephine, who knelt in deep sobs. She threw herself into Josephine’s arms, hugging her tightly. “You truly do know my pain,” she wept in Josephine’s ear. “I’m so selfish. Please forgive me, Jo.”

“He blew them apart and ate them while I watched!” Josephine wailed. “I couldn’t do a thing to stop him. He’d already done the enhancement on me. I couldn’t stop him!”

Enoch put his hands on both Hanna and Josephine, showing his compassion. “It’s okay,” he cooed. “Neither of you were to blame. You shouldn’t punish yourselves over it. The Ancient of Days will make it right.”

Both Kida and Electra hugged Josephine and Hanna as Selina pushed herself closer to touch them. “Let it out,” Electra cooed. “Let the pain flow out of you. It’s poisoned you long enough. We’re here to help you bear this burden. Let us help.”

“Yes,” Kida agreed. “We’re family. You must let us help. You can’t keep this bottled up forever. Only when you purge this pain and horror will you both have peace.”

Hanna lifted her tear-stained face to look Josephine in the eye. “A pair of snake-eyes we are, aren’t we, Jo,” she whimpered humorously, wiping the tears from her eyes. “We’ve been so burned by the Darkness that we’ve forgotten how to let things go. What do you say? Shall we bury this together?”

“Yes, little sister,” Josephine agreed, calming down as she vented the pain of her betrayal. “But only if you do. We mustn’t let them win. If we can’t let go of this, then the Darkness will win.”

“Not happening,” Hanna stated resolutely as she finally let go of her past. “I’ve been tormented by this one event since it happened. It has to stop somewhere. It’s time I put my past to rest. I’m done with it.”

“Me too,” Josephine agreed as a deep sigh escaped her lips. “Like you, I’m done with it haunting me. Thank you, Hanna, for helping me to dispel this pain.”

Hanna hugged Josephine warmly and touched foreheads with her. “You’re welcome,” she murmured gratefully. “And I must thank you for your help. I’ve been trying to dispel this pain for decades. It’s always haunted me, holding me back. Now, I’m...free.” A gasp escaped Hanna’s lips as she realized what had happened. She moved back with a look of shock and amazement.

“What’s wrong?” Josephine asked as peace filled her soul.

“I don’t believe it,” Hanna breathed in utter astonishment. “It’s over. It’s finally over. The pain of my past is gone! I’m...free, truly free! Oh, thank you!” She hugged Josephine warmly, tears of joy flowing now instead of tears of pain and grief. “I’m in your debt forever! Thank you!”

“No, you aren’t,” Josephine chimed, pushing Hanna back gently. “We’re a couple of kindred spirits who finally found our way out of the Darkness together. But we couldn’t have done it alone. Selina...thank you so much for your love and loyalty. You saved both of us with your brutal love and candor. I can truly see now how you are the Celestial Mate to the Beowulf. Your love and light pulled us out of the Darkness.” Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ FindNøvᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Indeed,” Hanna agreed wholeheartedly, going to Selina and embracing her warmly. “I truly was lost there a few minutes ago. Thank you for the love scratches, Selina. You snapped me out of that fugue and brought me back to my senses. Once again, you’re my feline angel of mercy who saved me from the darkness of my own heart and soul. Let’s never fight like that again.”

Selina returned the embrace warmly, sobbing softly in relief and joy. “You’re most welcome, little sister,” she replied, choked with emotion. “But next time you start having trouble like this, don’t run away from us. This is why we’re here. You need us as much as we need you. Promise me this.”

“You got it, sis,” Hanna chimed with a warm smile. “God, I feel so light right now and so good. Thank you, thank you all for helping us out.”

“It’s all right,” Enoch chimed as he stood up. “That’s what families are for. And remember, you are not alone.”

“I know,” Hanna admitted with an obvious sense of relief in her tone. “I’m not alone...not any more. I just wish I wasn’t such a stubborn jackass sometimes. It can be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“It’s okay, little sister,” Josephine said softly. “All of us are sometimes stubborn to a fault. It’s who we are. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out. After all, you helped me out in the midst of your own crisis. It shows how much you really care for everyone. Just try to take better care of yourself. It’s okay to do that.”

“I agree,” Enoch chimed, “Taking care of yourself should be a top priority. If you don’t, then how can you help others?”

“Very good point,” Hanna answered with a sigh as she regained full composure. “I promise to ask for help if something like this happens again. However, I’d rather not it happen. It’s a terrible inconvenience to everyone. If it happens again and you guys see me acting funny again, don’t hesitate to intervene. I can’t let things like this keep happening. Too many people are depending on me.”

“You have our word,” Enoch said resolutely. “Besides, that’s why we’re here: to keep you from screwing up.”

Hanna walked to Enoch and embraced him as he knelt down to return the hug. “Thank you, brother,” she murmured. “And know that I love you. Don’t ever change.”

“You’re welcome,” Enoch replied, noticing Hanna shivering in the cool night breeze. “I think it’s time you went in, Hanna. You’re shivering.”

“You’re right,” Hanna stated as she released him. “It’s a sexy dress, but it’s not very practical for keeping me warm. I am a bit chilled.”

“I suggest you go take a warm bath before going to bed, sweetie,” Electra purred. “It’ll get you to relax.”

Hanna walked to Electra and hugged her as well while Josephine stood up. “I sure will,” Hanna stated warmly. “It sounds like a very good idea. I think I could use a hot bath and a good…night’s sleep.” Hanna’s face went blank for a moment as she abruptly looked east. Everyone noticed it.

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