Lycan's Affection
Throes of Guilt

Eleanor felt her knees buckle as she fell back down, her chest heaving with tears. Her eyes closed as the tears ran down her face in three, four lines, her nose damp from all the tears, her body trembling from the tremors of her very own heart breaking.

"Eleanor..." Brandon started to say, obviously still rattled by Conaan's outburst and simply not knowing what to do to comfort her. She looked absolutely wrecked as she sat on the floor, her hands trembling as she squeezed them around her dress.

Suddenly, Conaan appeared by the door, his eyes taking her in. Without a word, he walked in briskly, his robe that had come loose around him flying behind him.

Brandon stepped away, his eyes wide with a bit of surprise as Conaan went straight to the floor, bringing Eleanor into his tight embrace. It only served to make her cry even harder, her hands wrapping tight around him like she was struggling to hold on to life itself.

"Please, just...I can not bear these tears. Please."

She swallowed, her body quivering hard. "I swear, it was not...I am not standing in for Anderson."

She moved away in attempt to look him in the eyes, but she only found herself shattering once she was out of his grasp.

"My own father was the one who did it. How am I supposed to look at you now? How am I suposed to demand justice when my father is the biggest traitor? Would it not..would it..." She swallowed, her breath faltering.

"Eleanor."

She gripped onto the sleeves of his robe, then moved her hands to cup his face. He was trying as hard as he could to keep his emotions in check, to not trigger the guilt that already seemed to want to crush her.

"When I grabbed that knife....I swear, my king, I wanted to bring his head back. But, you honored my father's wolf. The man who actually did you wrong. Who am I to punish a traitor when I am a traitor myself? Would it not be hypocritical of me to ask for justice now?"

Conaan said nothing, bringing her back into him, her face burying in the left side of his chest just where his heart was.

"It will be the same as treason if you cry in my arms so much, Eleanor. I can wait on anything, just not these tears."

But she only felt a lot more guilty. For everything. For him not being able to kill Anderson because of her own affiliation, for him not being able to punish her. She felt even worse and worse with every second he held her there, her heart breaking each second over and over again.

She swallowed, moving away. "Whatever punishment...you deem right...just give it to me first. I am the hypocrite. All I and my father have ever done is hurt you. I left the scar on your face, I abandoned you for years..."

"I said, stop it. That is an order, Eleanor."

She bit down on her lower lips hard, her head lowering. He held on to her, his eyes coming to her face, to wipe the tears.

"I am sorry. I do not know how to say it but I am sorry. I feel like such a hypocrite. Such a coward. All these years..." She suddenly trailed off, parting her lips a little wider to breathe.

The veins on her forehead had popped from all the tears, her body shaking as she held on to him. She struggled to breathe, her chest constricting against her own heart, and for once, she regretted who she was.

Maybe if Conaan was angry with her, if he wanted her head, she would feel a little less guilty.

She took a small, shaky breath, her body suddenly going weak.

"Eleanor?" Conaan said, his eyes widening as she suddenly reeled back, falling into his arms, her eyes closing, her lips staying half parted.

"Eleanor!"

There was no response, and Brandon ran up to where they were, his eyes wide.

"I will bring one of the royal physicians."

Conaan only modded, as he brought her up, carrying hejr bridal style. He set her on the bed, his eyes carrying different conflicted emotions, her chest heaving with the weight of what had just happened.

"Your Highness," Brandon said as he returned with the physician, who immediately got to work.

Conaan watched it silently, his face betraying nothing. No tears, no anger, no hurt. His eyes were fixed on Eleanor throughout.

"She seems very fatigued from a lot of stress. Her wolf energy has also gone very low. I recommend she rests for three days at least."

"When will she wake up?" Conaan asked, his voice steely.

"Well, Your Highness. She might wake up in a few hours."

He nodded, as the physician stood up, then gave a small bow and left.

Brandon stood behind Conaan, his eyes fixed on him. He swallowed hard, then took a step forward.

"If you decide to kill Anderson on the basis of treason, Your Highness, it will only give the council what they want. They need to get rid of Eleanor and once a traitor is caught, his entire family is wiped out. No matter what, Eleanor is still Anderson's family. Besides, it will only add to her guilt if a person takes the punishment and she doesn't since Beta Grayson..."

"Did you check again?" Conaan suddenly asked, as he slowly turned to Brandon. "Was it really Beta Grayson?"

Brandon swallowed. "I thought it was absurd too, so I spoke to Zak before telling her. He is the only one who was there then, as you know most of the council members were not close to the king and Zak was his protector. He said that they did have a huge argument on the very day of the mating itself. After that, Prince Javier sent for Anderson. As I understand it, Anderson did not instigate the murder. He caused the misunderstanding, sure enough, and got King Javier to write the scroll. Beta Grayson..." He trailed off, his eyes meeting Conaan's. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ (ꜰind)ɴʘvel.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Conaan's fists clenched behind him as he turned back to Eleanor, his eyes blinking rapidly.

"Do not let anyone else know. If anyone finds out, kill them."

"Are you trying to not have to strip Beta Grayson posthumously?"

Conaan closed his eyes, his nails nipping at his palm.

"Take care of her when she wakes up."

"Your Highness..."

Conaan turned, his brow raised. Brandon swallowed hard.

"I am truly sorry for what happened."

Conaan's eyes thinned. "For hiding it from me?"

"And for everything else."

Conaan's gaze hardened, his eyes darting across Brandon's. The other man lowered his head, his lips sucked in.

Without another word, Conaan walked away, this time, sure and determined to not return.

Eleanor stirred, her eyes stinging. It felt like she had burnt just under her eyes, her chest heaving. All of her body felt weak, and she tried to stand, but her arms were way too weak to hold her up.

She turned to the window. It was already night, and she wondered how long she was out for.

"Do not stand up."

She turned, just as Brandon walked to her, then helped her sit up, propping a pillow behind her.

He then brought a glass of water to her. Slowly, she collected it, but did not drink from it.

"Where is His Highness?"

Brandon swallowed. "He wants his time alone."

Eleanor swallowed, feeling fresh tears brew at the back of her eyes. She wasn't sure which was worse, feeling his anger, or feeling her own guilt.

Both threatened to break her in more pieces than anyone else could, especially when the very person she had wronged was the one trying to piece her together.

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