Nadir
Chapter 44

I look at the Joshua’s face as tears roll down his eyes. He is crying uncontrollably and holding me in his arms like his life depends on it.

‘Don’t you ever do that to me again.’ He pleads more tears falling.

I continue to stare without saying a word because I am trying to make out what is happening.

‘Don’t you ever do that to me again, ever.’ He says kissing my lips.

I notice Martha standing there tears rolling down her eyes with Mrs. Jacobs Senior.

‘You left me to walk down the aisle alone.’ I say laughing and tears start to pour out.

‘I did what?’

‘Story for another day.’

‘I guess we don’t need to be here anymore do we now?’ Mrs. Jacobs asks.

‘Where are we?’

‘Nowhere, we are going home.’ Joshua says.

He starts the car and can’t seem to keep his mouth closed, he keeps talking – telling me how glad he is that I am alive. How much he missed me and missed us and for someone who has been shut off from the world I don’t feel very excited to talk. Maybe because I created this world in my head which was so perfect.

‘Thank you.’ I say finally rubbing his thigh.

‘Thank you for what?’

‘For not giving up on me. Not giving up on us.’

He lifts my hand and kisses the top.

‘Our story is not one that I could have just given up on. Nandy I have loved you for the longest of times, there was nothing else I could do. No one else I could be with. It was you or no one else.’

‘Again you proved to me just how genuine your love was, I don’t know if another person would have done the same.’

‘I will always be your Joshua, the man that loves you whole heartedly.’

I smile at him and it is the most genuine smile I have ever given him.

‘I want to go and see where the twins were buried.’

‘Babe are you sure?’

‘Never been surer about anything in my life.’

‘How about we do it tomorrow? We can hold a ceremony for them.’

‘That would be lovely thank you.’

We continue driving in silence and my mind takes me to that day in the hospital after losing the other twin. It is the last memory I have of anything because after that I created this entire world in my head and I have been living in it for the past two years.

‘Welcome home.’ Joshua announces.

‘Thank you baby.’

He helps me out of the vehicle and we walk hand in hand. The help tells us that my water is ready but then I tell him that I would like to have a word with him first before I can bath so we go to the bedroom together.

‘You look nervous.’

‘I am not sure what this is about.’ He says rubbing his fingers together.

‘Joshua I don’t want to waste any more time.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I spent the last two years of my life in this shell that I had created, living in a world where I continued to create a version of how I wanted my life to go making it hard to deal with the situation at hand. I love you so much I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don’t want to waste any more time.’

‘I waited.’

‘Yes you did and it was worth the wait but I can’t wait any longer. I want us to start a life together, I have been dead the past two years. I have made you go through so much pain and you could have given up but you didn’t, if anything you have experienced more pain than I have because you were living in the reality whilst I was not.’

He looks down, tears rolling down his eyes.

‘I want a do over, I want us to give us a second chance because we deserve it. Because a story like ours can not be told once and forgotten. What we have some people never experience, those who do don’t get a second chance but we have died so many times and yet like a seed planted in the soil we keep blossoming. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Joshua. I want to love you each day because you deserve to be loved right, I want to be your wife, I want to carry your babies, I want to wake up next to you and in your loving arms. Joshua I want to eat your food, I want you to continue being possessive over me. mm love I want to serve you as my husband and priest of our home because you my love are a good man and there is no one I would rather be with than you. I want to do life with you.’

‘On one condition.’

‘Which is?’

‘Let me give you a fairytale wedding.’

‘Oh my word.’ I exclaim remembering the fairytale wedding in my imagination.

‘You don’t want it?’

‘I want it babe.’

‘I love you.’

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‘Joshua.’

‘Yes?’

‘If there is anything that I have learnt from my time with you; it is the importance of holding on, of dealing with issues and not letting them eat you up because you are going to miss out on two years of your life all because you built castles in the air when you could be living your best life.’

‘If there is anything I have learnt, it’s that you need to hold on to what and who you love because some people are worth the wait. You are worth the wait.’

I smile at him and I know that I didn’t make a mistake choosing him over everyone else. I am home.

The end

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

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