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Chapter 30: Flesym Lortnoc Ot Em Rof Drah (Hard For Me To Control Myself)

“Hey, did you know the first celebrity homosexual to come out was Billy Haines? And he technically didn’t even come out, he was arrested in a YMCA for getting ‘frisky’ with a sailor, then he refused to marry a woman and they canceled his contract.” Matrix looked up from his computer screen and smiled brightly at Beta reading on his bed. “Also, I’ve got more on Elias’ name. It also means his God is Yahweh. I’m sorry to say this, but the voice in your head is Hebrew.”

Ah poked her head out from the bathroom. She and the boys had made a pit stop to drop little Min at her sister’s house, not saying when she’d be back to get her. She simply didn’t feel comfortable bringing her along. “Matrix.”

“Yeah?”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Giving information no one cares about.” Ah smiled sweetly.

Matrix frowned and gave Ah a flat look. He put his hand up and flicked his wrist, making the bathroom door shut quickly. Ah moved her head before the door could crush it. “Unnecessary!”

“Ah, no one cares,” Matrix mocked. Ah frowned through the door, locking it, and Beta smirked. “I mean really if you’re gonna talk my dear friend lower your voice,” he continued to taunt.

Matrix realized Hershey was rolling closer to him in his sleep and tried to flip him over.

Instead, he broke off the doorknob to the bathroom.

Both handles, to Matrix’s surprise, as he heard the clink from the other side. The door still locked. Ah banged on the door and Matrix let his mouth hang open. “Matrix? Matrix this isn’t funny!” Ah yelled through the door.

Matrix set the computer down and scurried to the door. “Oh man I’m so sorry…sort of.”

“Matrix!”

“Okay okay! I’ll get you out just give me a second.”

“I am not paying for this door!”

Beta snickered a little from his bed, but didn’t get involved.

“Relax you’ll be out within an hour, I promise,” Matrix said, trying to bust the door open. He heard something ring and looked over at his phone in the corner. He jogged over to it and checked the text. Ah banged on the door once more. “Hold on,” Matrix muttered, squinting at the screen.

913-104-3875

If you really want to meet me, then meet me in the storage room behind the grocery store.

“Matrix! Hey! I’m claustrophobic and it’s steamy in here!”

“Then take colder showers,” Matrix called back, half paying attention. He replied to the text.

Me

How’d you get this number?

913-104-3875

If I can hack into your friend’s brain, then I think I can hack into a phone as well.

Me

Elias.

913-104-3875

Matrix. So are you coming or not?

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Oh, we’re coming, and then we’re gonna kick your ass.

913-104-3875

I’m not here to fight…just come in two hours. I’ll be waiting…

“MATRIX!” Ah screamed and Matrix started to produce a headache.

“Shut up for a sec!” Matrix yelled, raising a hand. As he did so, the door split open, wood flying everywhere. Hershey woke up with a start, looking at the door in surprise. Beta snapped to attention as well, putting his book down. Half the door fell to the ground with a thud but the other remained hinged. Ah peeked her head out and made another “I’m not paying for that” face.

“How’d you do that?” Hershey asked, still half asleep.

“I have no idea,” Matrix said, but then he thought on it. “Hey…you started getting better at controlling your body after we came to Earth, right?” he asked Beta.

“Well…yes but to be fair I was a beginner when I was on Plato,” Beta responded.

“True, but I’m not and I’ve never been able to do what I just did now. I think Earth might be making us stronger, intensifying our…‘techniques,’” Matrix suggested.

“Huh,” is all Beta said, not thinking much of it at the moment.

“Oh yeah I need to tell you guys something.” Matrix just remembered the texts.

“What’s up?” Beta and Ah asked together, giving each other a look.

Another thought popped into Matrix’s head. “Wait, if Billy Haines was the first celebrity, then who was the first ever?” Matrix asked himself.

Hershey lifted an eyebrow, confused. “What? What’d I miss?”

“What if no one knows?”

“Matrix,” Beta said.

“Huh?” Matrix looked up at Beta, Hershey, and Ah, his eyes wide like he just woke up. Beta gestured for him to go on, and he remembered once again. “Oh right, conversations,” Matrix continued. “Here.” Matrix tossed Beta the phone and he caught it.

Beta looked over the texts, walking over to Hershey so he could see, and shook his head. “Not him,” he said, handing the phone to Hershey.

Matrix was taken back, still processing. “Pardon?”

“It’s not Elias, trust me. I’ve heard him talk for quite a while and it’s not him, there’s no way it is.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. It’s probably another Sync trying to kill us. Just leave it.” Beta laid back on the bed, ignoring Matrix’s glare. “I agree,” Hershey jumped in, tossing the phone to Ah who barely caught it.

“It doesn’t sound like the way Beema and Talon said the Cider described him,” Ah said, giving Matrix his phone back. “My Cider knows him.”

“Yes, let’s trust the secondary resource,” Matrix teased. “Isn’t that why we’re here? To stop the stupid uprising or revolution or whatever? Does that not include Syncs?” Matrix asked, not expecting a reasonable argument.

“Well yeah but—”

“—there’s no ‘but’ Beta. We have a duty. I don’t even like humans but I came down here because I thought I would be doing the right thing. But if you won’t do anything about it, just because you don’t have fanboy #1’s permission, then I could easily just kill myself and send myself back to Plato to rat on you. I don’t have to be here Be—”

“But you are.” Beta looked up and stared at Matrix. “Which means you’re somewhat loyal to me so trust me when I say it’s a bad idea to go to this warehouse storage place.”

Matrix scoffed. “Oh, that’s rich. Last time I checked, you don’t control me—” Beta cut him off again.

“Then why did you ask me in the first place?” Matrix had no response, mainly because Beta was completely right. He breathed out, barking out an angry laugh before admitting, “I don’t know.”

Hershey rubbed his forehead. “Okay guys, Matrix isn’t wrong, although he’s not right either. We need to find out who this is if it’s not Elias. Who’s in?”

Ah sighed heavily so everyone noticed. “I’m going for air.” She walked past them and went out the door.

As soon as it shut, Beta spoke. “I don’t like it. I don’t like this plan.”

“Beta, give me one good reason why not?” Matrix said. “I mean seriously, we came down here to fight did we not? Why is it so hard to believe that I want to help?”

Beta slumped. “I don’t know maybe because you hate everything—!”

“I don’t hate you!” Matrix yelled, regretting it as soon as it happened. Hershey’s eyes widened as Beta’s head processed it. “I…shut up.”

“Wait, sorry, you…don’t hate me?” Beta reiterated.

Matrix sucked in the air and turned away. “Shut up Beta.”

“No, I’m sorry I’m just very surprised.”

“Okay, look—”

“Wait, Ah’s calling,” Hershey said, grabbing his phone.

“So?” Matrix posed.

Hershey looked up at him. “She’s outside alone and we’re being hunted, I’m taking the call. Hello?”

Ah perked up as Hershey answered the phone. “Get out here now!”

“Why, where are you?” he answered. Ah looked around and waved as the cars passed by the street beside the hotel. She hid behind the shrubbery up front. “Outside, you’ve got to get here without poking the bears.”

“What bears?”

“Mother—” Ah stopped herself. “Hansel and Gretel are back in town.”

Hershey’s eyes widened. “Hansel and Gretel?”

“Yes! You know them!?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Put her on speaker,” Matrix said, and before Hershey could actually do it Matrix grabbed the phone and did it himself. “Ah!”

“Ah!” Ah mimicked, using the onomatopoeia version. “Get it? Because it’s my name but you also said it really loud.”

Beta rolled his eyes.

“Describe Hansel and Gretel,” Matrix said.

“Okay,” she said. “There was a girl there; blonde hair and silver eyes, her smile like the devil. And then of course her dog, or so-called dog. The ‘dog’ was actually a guy though? Brown curly hair, orange eyes, and red, robin-like wings about eight feet long when they were open, which they weren’t but still. No one really cares about their real names, most just settled with Hansel and Gretel in Plato.”

“How do you know all that?” Matrix asked.

“They attacked me once,” Ah admitted. “No big deal. I was at the grocery store, they got me in the alleyway, I now no longer take the alleyway.”

“Okay, who are Hansel and Gretel?” Hershey hissed.

“She just told you,” Matrix said. “Weren’t you listening?”

“Matrix,” Hershey said in a strict voice.

“Fine, jeez. Gretel’s a Stak and Hansel’s a Cider. They’re people who…work, if I were to put it lightly, together to go down to Earth on strict Plato business, whatever that may be, and essentially mess stuff up.”

“And why are they here?” Beta asked.

“To mess our stuff up, why do you think?”

“Ah, if they know you how did you get out of the building without them, like, attacking you?” Beta asked.

Ah thought. “Well, actually, it wasn’t all me. I saw them lingering in the lobby, talking to people and panicked. So naturally my Sync-side got to me, and I…threw something.”

“Pardon?”

Ah sighed and rolled her eyes. “Look, I panicked and threw a lamp across the room and when it crashed and people started yelling at me I ran…like really fast.” Ah was getting a migraine. “Look just get out here, they’re close to getting our room number.”

Before they could talk more, Ah hung up. “Dammit,” Matrix said. “We’ve gotta go.”

“Not all together,” Hershey said. “They’re expecting a group of three, if not four.”

“Okay, so who’s going first?” Matrix asked.

“So then I ate the bloody fish anyway!”

Gretel bursted into laughter, pressing her breasts together as she crossed her arms. Beta laughed with her, leaning on the bar table…even though it was closed.

Hansel walked up behind them, clearing his throat. “Gretel.” Gretel turned around to Hansel and he whispered in her ear. “Later,” she hissed, and Hansel pursed his lips but obeyed, taking back his seat on the other side of Beta.

Beta cleared his throat, leaning in. “So,” he whispered to her. “Not to be too forward…but as sexy as that sweater is, I think it’d look even sexier on the floor.” Gretel giggled involuntarily. Beta took that as a good sign. “There are…so many things I can do to you…and believe me if you’re not still orgasming when it’s over then I must’ve done something wrong—”

Splash!

Gretel and Beta turned to Hansel as he tried to clean up his spilled drink, flustered. “I…uh…” Hansel cleared his throat, scratching his head. “I wasn’t listening.”

Beta smirked. “You got a room, clumsy?”

“No, we don’t—”

“634,” Gretel said without a second thought.

Beta bit his lip. “…Meet you two there?”

As Beta came out of the hotel, he looked around for Ah. “Psst!” she exclaimed from the bushes. “Get over here!”

Beta got into the bushed with her. “I cannot believe you seduced her! I mean does she really not recognize you?”

“You’re blind in the light of seduction, Ah,” Beta said.

“That…is not true.” Ah got back on the phone. “You’re a go Matrix. Don’t be long.”

And five seconds later, Matrix was out.

Ah stood up and waved her hands, hitting the bush. “How did you do that so fast!?” she hissed as he approached them.

As Matrix, a hood over his head, walked through the lobby and passed Hansel and Gretel, he held his phone to his ear and said just a few words that got them to back off:

“Los huevos están en la estufa pero se están quemando,” Matrix repeated.

“What does that mean?” Ah asked.

“Uh, roughly? ‘The eggs are on the stove, but they’re burning.’”

Ah rolled her eyes, putting the phone back to her ear. “Hershey it’s all you.”

Hershey sat on the bed and ended the call, breathing in and out hard. “Okay, right. I can do this. Easy, no problem.”

Hershey’s elevator dinged and the doors opened. He put the hood over his head and started walking. Hershey walked down the 1st floor hallway, heading to the main lobby.

One of the doors opened to the rooms and he jumped. The woman walking out of it jumped back. “S-Sorry,” Hershey muttered, and kept on. He made it to the lobby and didn’t slow down for a second.

And maybe that was the problem.

“Sir!” the receptionist yelled and Hershey, despite his best judgement, slowed. “Sir! Your friends are outside if you were wondering.”

Hershey’s heart was racing, and finally his feet decided to follow. The door was getting closer, and the closer it got the more he had wished he had responded so it didn’t seem so—

Hershey felt the needle go into his back and he arched it, ready to call out for help. But for some reason, his tongue—his whole mouth—wasn’t working.

“Sorry, he’s with me,” Gretel said. “Don’t know what got into him, he’s being really rude.”

The receptionist just nodded and went back to her customer as Hansel and Gretel grabbed an arm and led Hershey out.

The numbness was spreading to the rest of his face and sliding down his arms. He tried to stop his feet, but Hansel and Gretel hoisted him up easily.

“There he is!” Ah said, pointing as she saw Hershey’s feet slide through the double doors.

But as she stood up to call him over, she saw Hansel and Gretel behind him and fell back down, putting her hand over both Beta and Matrix’s mouth. Matrix was confused at first, but once he saw Gretel and Hansel carrying Hershey’s limp body he tried to move but Ah held him back. “We have to tail them!” Ah hissed. “Don’t pick a fight you might not be able to win.”

Matrix’s body tried to de-tense itself as they walked to the parking lot. “Let’s go,” Matrix whispered.

The three tailed Hansel and Gretel as they found their car. When they unlocked the door Ah, Matrix, and Beta snuck around to their own car and got in, hiding their faces. “Start it,” Matrix said to Ah.

“No, it’ll be too obvious,” Ah said. “Wait until they start theirs.” And sure enough, once their car started and Hershey was in the backseat, Ah started their own car. “Let’s burn them,” she muttered, and drove out of the parking lot.

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