Lights flash all around me, forcing me to cover my eyes with my forearm. I can still hear the camera bulbs popping as I surge forward. The thrum of bodies around me is oppressive. They threaten to close in from every side.

I just need to get to the car.

“Wilhelmina! Wilhelmina!”

I move faster, butting up against security guards as I flail blindly towards the waiting town car, a beacon where I might finally relax. Where I can let the facade slip. Where I can put my head in my hands and cry.

I can see the open door beckoning me to slide in and escape.

I’m so close.

I’m jostled against my shoulder and feel cool cross-hatched metal press up against my lips. Dropping my arm, I face eager eyes and too-white teeth.

“Wilhelmina, can you tell us if you’ve seen the videos of your father?”

All I hear is the steady beat of my heart pumping in my ears. I feel borderline feral in my need to disappear into the waiting car. The one I can see just beyond her perfectly coiffed blonde hair.

I’m functioning on instinct. It’s fight or flight now.

All I hear are gasps around me when I look right into the camera and say, “How about you go fuck yourself?”

I choose fight.

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