Psychic Enchantress
39. Reasons

I wasn’t really sure where I was taking Mason. I just wanted to be out of his house and alone. Well I did have an idea of the place I wanted to take him. Chloe told me about it and she said that it was very secluded so I figured it was the best place to take him.

I changed my mind and decided to take a detour to the spot where Mason took me instead. I guess it could be our special place.

I was actually willing now to let my guard fall for him and for myself as well. I’ve been so cut off from my emotions that related to my parent’s death. Its like for me, the minute when things get way too heavy emotional wise, I try my best to cut them off completely so it doesn’t affect me. I mean ever since ny parents died, I never shed one tear. It hurts but I had it locked away in the back of my mind. I’m always so keen on helping people but when it comes to myself, its a bit hard. Yeah i’m genuine and all but there’s a lot more to me than I put out. So far, Mason knew more about me than anyone other than my best friend Shira, of course. She’s been my rock. She never once asked me about how I felt about my parent’s death because she knew how I was.

I guess looking at Jake now, I don’t think I ever really liked him in a boyfriend way. I just couldn’t face the fact that I would be hurting him if I didn’t give him a chance. I felt all of the pain he felt and I just wanted to get rid of it, not even realizing I would be hurting Mason.

So now here I was, sitting on the bench on top of the bridge with Mason by my side. We’ve been sitting here for like ten minutes and I haven’t said a word as yet. This was harder than I thought.

“Xayla we’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes. Say something now or i’m leaving.” Mason said coldly.

Xayla its time you do something for yourself. Make yourself happy.

Deep breath.

“I-I..” I stutter. Geez I can’t do this. I can’t.

“Spit it out Xayla.” Mason ordered.

“Fine. Leave. Go ahead.” I shot up, walking towards the rail and looked down at the river.

I didn’t hear him move. Well he couldn’t, I was his only ride home.

“When my mom died, I...” I trailed off. I couldn’t do it. I know exactly what to say but I can’t seem to get it out. Mason remained quiet all the same.

I decided to just do it the best way I know how. I was going to channel my thoughts into Mason’s mind so he could hear what exactly I was thinking and also feel what I was feeling.

I sat back down and took his hand in mine, craddling it in mine. He didn’t withdrew his hand or anything. He just looked at me curiously.

′When my mother died, it had an impact on me psychologically. The minute it happened, I ordered it away in the back of my mind. I did so with my dad also. Doing that, I couldn’t feel the way it felt to lose a mother or a father. I became emotionless whenever it came to them. I also know now that when I did i that, I didn’t get the chance to move on from it. The pain is still there, I just refused to let it out because I was afraid that I couldn’t handle it.′

′When Sabrina died. It affected me even more. I decided that from that day on. Whomever I may encounter who is torn deep within, I would help them. I would make them happy. I would risk my own happiness for theirs. Because I didn’t want to live a life knowing that someone else died, and that I could’ve prevented that death’

′When Jake told me that he liked me earlier and I told him that I was with you, I felt this overwhelming energy coming from him. I could feel pain, the brokenness he was feeling because of what I said. I didn’t want to be the cause of that. Like I said, I go around helping people, ensuring that they remain happy. So when he kissed me, half of me wanted to kiss back because I liked him but that half decided not to because I was with you. The other half on the other hand, wanted to heal that broken heart that I had caused and I thought that was the only way. It may be a stupid excuse to you but its my excuse. It may be a stupid thing to do but maybe I am stupid. I know what I did was wrong and i’m saying i’m sorry. I know its not the right thing to go around pleasing everyone making sure that they’re happy when I, myself isn’t. ′

′I’m sorry Mason.′ I added before letting his hand go.

He remained quiet so I opened my eyes and looked at him.

I saw sadness, concern and anger written across his face. I turned away from him knowing that this was it. I said what I had to say and its time I say goodbye to him.

“I understand if you never want to speak with me again.” I sighed. “I’ll take you home.”

I got up and started the short walk back to my car.

I didn’t hear Mason’s footsteps behind me so I stopped.

I turned my attention to where he was still sitting on the bench. He was gazing up at the stars. I walked back to where he was and I looked at him.

“Are you coming?” I questioned.

“Sit down.” He instructed, still gazing at the stars.

I did as told and looked at him expectantly.

“Xayla, I do understand what you said. I understand it completely. But you had no right to kiss Jake. Even if you felt the need to heal his broken heart. You could’ve absorbed his pain instead, even though I told you never to do that again but you could’ve done that knowing that we became official and all. ” he sofly spoke.

“I forgive you though for kissing him, as I know now that you don’t see him the way you see me. ” he turned to looked at me. “You don’t have keep those walls you have that’s blocking out everything that’s related to your parents. You need to let it out. Cry and then move on. Move on part is pretty long but you cant go around carrying this. ”

I sat there listening to ever word Mason uttered out of his perfectly shaped lips. I had to do a double take to see if it was really him.

“Who are you and where is Mason?” I joked.

“I’m here. You’ve changed me in so many ways Xayla. You made me start to look at the positive things I have in life and that positive thing is my family and you.” He smiled.

“You mean so much to me Mason. I know I don’t really show it or really say much but its sometimes hard to. I feel so much for you, you have no idea. ” I confessed, looking away.

“You mean a lot to me too Xayla and that’s why I want to help you move on the way you helped me. ” he paused. I looked at me, asking him to continue. “Have you tried talking to you mom and dad, knowing that you can talk to ghosts and all?”

Okay I never really thought about that. I was so focused on helping Mason, I didn’t even realize I could help myself also. Kalina probably spoke to them already and tried talking to me about it. But every time she mentioned them, I walked away. I know it was rude. She was probably hurting the same way I have.

“I never thought about it.” I whispered.

“Well now you can.” He replied reaching for my hand to give it a squeeze.

“Cold heartless Mason, can be mushy and give good help to one in need. I’m surprise Pbear.” I smirked.

The the wise man façade he had up completely vanished the minute I called him Pbear.

“What did I say about calling me that!” He exclaimed.

I laughed out loud.

I’m really glad that things are okay between us now.

Tonight was a heavy night. Today was a heavy day. First I caught Mikaela flirting with Mason. Then Mikaela keyed my car. Then Jake kissed me and Mason found out. Then Mason kicked Jake’s ass. Then I did my best to get Mason back and now here I am.

The wind blew making me shiver. I even forgot that I only had on a tank top and sweats.

I saw Mason take his leather jacket off. “Here, you must be freezing. How could be so stupid to leave your house in the night wearing nothing but a marina.” He scolded me, wrapping his jacket around me.

I held it with my hands, inhaling his scent.

“Smells good doesn’t it?” He smirked. S~ᴇaʀᴄh the ꜰindNʘvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“No it smells like vomit mixed with petroleum gas.” I said with a straight face. Then burst out laughing at my horrible description.

He laughed too before drawing me closer to him.

I snuggled in and right then and there, I was extremely happy I listened to Shira and fought for Mason. Well, I didn’t do much fighting thanks to him so yeah.

We sat there peacefully looking at the view of New York City.

“I’m so happy.” I thought aloud.

“Me too, my love ” I heard Mason whisper. “Me too.”

When I got home that night, I spoke to my mom. There were a lot of tears for many hours but I had Mason to comfort me. I was finally able to move on from that pain.

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