Chapter 23
TESSA’S POV
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces that I wasn’t sure I could heal from. The world had narrowed for me as I stared, unblinking at the lifeless form of Sentinel Thomas, His body lay limp on the bed, the crimson-stained sheets, a stark reminder of the life that had abruptly ended.
I blinked hot tears away refusing to cry but I could feel tears choking me -Daphne howled silently, In respect of a gone wolf and it tore my heart.
“What happened?!” I heard Adrian’s voice say, his voice with a primal fear that matched mine.
I looked at him through red-rimmed eyes, his question hung heavy in the air. One look at Thomas, the blood-stained sheets, his eyes vacant and lifeless told Adrian the grim story he wanted to hear. I couldn’t answer, the words wouldn’t come out, it was stopped by the so bs threatening to make me break down..
Gia was sobbing silently in the corner and I was feeling faint. The room was beginning to blur, the edges of my vision blurred by tears. It was then that the sound of shuffling feet brought me back to the present. I lifted my eyes dully to see that the elders had already sent in some sentinels to take out Thom as ‘s body on a stretcher, the sight burned into a memory, a permanent scar to remind me of my failure.
The elders had left as soon as the body was taken out, it was almost as if they found it completely normal to lose someone- everyone except Adrian. He was staring at me with pained eyes but I ignored his presence. I felt an empty space in my heart.
A wave of nausea washed over me. Scrambling to my feet, I stumbled out of the room pushing past Adrian, the sterile scent of the med bay clung to me like a shroud. I needed air, I wanted to escape the suffocating confines of the room.
My steps were heavy, taking me deeper into the maze-like corridors of the pack house. I didn’t care where I was going, as long as it was away from everything, away from everyone. Finally, I found myself in a deserted section of the hallway, it was, almost afternoon.
The so bs that I tried to hold back erupted in a torrent, my body wracking with grief. I heard someone’s hurried steps behind me and I spun round to look at Adrian through teary eyes, Adrian’s eyes were equally grief-laden. I didn’t bother to hold back the so bs that tore through me
Adrian kept silent. He knew the weight of a life lost, the crushing responsibility that came with a medic’s mantle but for me. it wasn’t just the weight of losing one life, it was the shattering of a fragile hope and promise I had made five years ago. After five years of battling terrible illnesses, I had stared death in the face so many times but I always emerged victorious with all my patients and now I had watched death claim a life under my very watch. The guilt was a leaden weight in my gut, suffocating and relentless.
Two strong arms enveloped me, pulling me into a warm embrace in an attempt to comfort me. But the touch meant to offer solace only added to my anguish. I twisted away from Adrian, my voice raw from the despair that tore at my heart.
“Don’t!” I yelled pushing him back with surprising strength. “You don’t understand!!”.
I saw a tear roll down Adrian’s cheek but it was no match for what I felt. I was crying my heart out, my cries echoing in the hallway.
“You don’t get it! You can’t understand what I’m feeling. Don’t try to comfort me!” I yelled, my voice cracking. I needed someone to vent my pain and anger to.
“Six years Adrian! Six years of saving lives, of sn atching people back from the jaws of death! And now..now…this!” I yelled, my hands clenched into balls and I pounded them on Adrian’s broad chest to vent out the pain I felt.
“He was supposed to get better! I have never lost someone! Never! For six years! I promised that I would never lose someone and now I lost him! I couldn’t save him!” I cried out, pounding on his chest, each bang mirrored the pain I felt.
I broke into silent so bs and I stopped hitting Adrian. “He wasn’t supposed to die” I choked out, my voice a plea, a desperate plea for someone, anyone to understand the depth of my failure
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15:23 Tue, Apr 16 G DU
Chapter 23
Adrian let me vent out my anger on him without saying anything, he absorbed the storm of emotions that raged within her. He simply held space for her grief, allowing her the raw, unfiltered release, she so desperately needed. He was aware that words were futile in the face of the raw pain she felt.
I let go of Adrian’s now crumbled shirt and with a final gut-wrenching so b, I slumped against the wall, my body wracked with silent s obs. I was tired-me ntally, physically, and emotionally,
“Tessa.” Adrian’s voice sounded silently.
I felt nausea as I stared at my hands caked in dry blood his blood. Bile rose in my throat and I ran out of the building, 1 washed my hands in the nearest place and went to the silent orchard.
The beauty of the place I once admired now looked clouded over as if in recognition of the grief I felt. There was no one here and I slumped down to my knees in a cool quiet corner, my face buried in my hands as I resumed my crying. I cried. for Thomas who I couldn’t save, for the fragile hope that had shattered within me, for the responsibility that weighed heavily on my shoulders, and for the guilt 1 felt a bitter pill lodged in my throat.
Time blurred, measured only in the ebb and flow of my ragged breaths and the relentless flow of tears. My cries eventually softened into sniffles and my body was a trembling mess of exhaustion. A quiet despair settled over me. A heavy cloak that seemed to suffocate my very being.
Suddenly, a gentle presence materialized beside me..
“Medic Tessa?” The person said.
I raised my swollen eyes, my nose red as I looked at Gia, her face equally a mask of exhaustion and I felt my heart ache on sighting her.
“Gia..” I said, my voice weaker than expected and my vision was blurry.
She squatted beside me and for an 18-year-old girl, I was sure grateful for her presence.
“I was looking for you for hours, you went missing 5 hours ago. I was worried, I’ve gone to see your kids and they’re all asleep in the nanny’s care” she reported.
Da mn it! I had completely forgotten about the kids. The thought of them had been overshadowed by the thought of what happened.
“Who’s with the patients?” I asked, my voice in my throat afraid that the patients were left alone again.
Gia stared at my distraught face for a while before looking away.
“Don’t worry, I have called Medic Amelia and Owen to stay with them. They are really skilled and will be there till you’re well enough to go back” She said softly.
I looked at her.
“I feel so st upid and a total failure” I lamented, a sardonic smile playing on my chapped lips.
Gia pushed her auburn colored hair back.
“When the plague struck, I watched people drop dead, it was my first experience with death and I couldn’t eat for the whole day, I threw up constantly and wouldn’t stop crying. The Alpha wasn’t aware of the death rate… Will had told us to keep silent. about it so as not to alarm him. He told the Alpha to send out a delegate to you, he said he had heard of a great healer, and in the short time that the delegate went in search of you…. We lost 18 more wolves that night. I don’t know how sentinel. Thomas died but it wasn’t your fault, you’ve brought life to the pick, the goddess knows why she took him. He’s safe and free from this world and from what bothered him.” She said wisely and I found myself staring intensely at her. She was a great person to have by one’s side.
“Thank you. I just… I’ve never done this before. You should go join the medics in the Med bay, I’ll be there shortly ” I said smiling weakly.
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15:23 Tue, Apr 16 G Gu
Chapter 23
Gia bit her lip and stood up..
“I’ll leave you alone, Medic Tessa. Please…don’t let this quell your spirit” She said before leaving.
I watched her go, the sun had gone down and I took a deep breath wondering at how time seemed to fly so fast.
50%
Then the memory struck me like an arrow – Will. He had been in the med bay shortly before Thomas had that attack. Thomas had been scared of Will lately so did that mean…..? The thought creeped me out. Did Will really kill Thomas? It seemed to be the only plausible explanation, I didn’t doubt for one bit that Will could do it but what had transpired between them? I didn’t have any proof but I wanted to find proof to make sure that Thomas didn’t die in vain.
Honestly, I had no idea what happened to Thomas, I had never seen anything like it. Internal bleeding, tremors, and seizures, yellow sickly eyes. It just didn’t fit the description of the poisons I knew. There was only one person I could think of that may have known.
“Cabe, where are you?” I muttered to myself burying my face in my palms again.
He had promised to come once he was done and I was getting worried that he wouldn’t come again.
“Hiding from the truth?” I heard a sneering voice say
I raised my head up to look up at Giselle who was looking down at me with a scowl on her face.
I stood up to her height and cleaned my eyes.
“What do you want?” I managed to ask.
She eyed me.
“I wanted to make fun of you. You had a simple job yet you’ve started flopping already. Everyone will blame you for his death you deserve it, maybe that’ll knock down your pride a bit. You failed him, Tessa. A good medic never loses a patient Her voice was low and pierced through me like a dagger dipped into poison.
I struggled to keep my anger in check.
“Leave now or I’ll make you regret it” I growled, Daphne was struggling to come out and I knew at this rate, I would tear Giselle to pieces if I let Daphne take over.
Giselle smirked at me.
“Coward. You can’t even wake up to your st upid mistake. Are you even sure that you’ll be able to do it? To take care of th pack?” She asked sneering.
“Leave!!” I yelled at her, my heart pounding in my chest.
She smiled ruefully, bowed, and walked away, her boots clacking in the distance. I felt extreme discomfort and pain at her words. Perhaps she was right? Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a medic? It was at times like this that I doubted myself and my
decision to come back here.
I squatted back down and put my face back in my hands, I couldn’t cry again, I had cried for so long that there were no tears left to cry anymore.
Hearing footsteps again and scenting someone familiar, I looked up.
I squinted at the blurry figure that was watching me.
“Tessa?” The person said squatting down to my stooping figure. Just great! I leave you for a few days and you’re already crying” The person said soothingly.
My eyes widened in recognition at the person – was he really?
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15:23 Tue, Apr 16 G
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