Refusing my Alpha mate
Chapter 16

Arthur

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I spent that day and night with my father in the Troffendoll hospital, the cancer was advancing and that scared me. Seeing him weakened consumed me, and besides obviously wanting to see him well, the worse he got, the closer I was to assuming all the responsibilities of the Pack, and that scared me too.

To add a layer to all this worry, there was also the fact that I would assume alone, and if I accepted Clair's rejection, alone forever. Without a Luna, not now, not ever, my future haunted me even more.

I couldn't sleep in the hospital, when I got home I dragged myself through the day, I trained and took a long shower before going to sleep, remembering when the fact that Clair was my mate was just a possibility, when all this didn't scare me so much, or when her rejecting me was my biggest problem. But now on top of all that, she's also in danger, and my father dying, it felt like my head couldn't turn off.

And even in my dreams, she was there, not only was she the owner of all my thoughts during the day, Clair was also in them at night, during my sleep. This time she was wearing her ball dress, the blue piece contrasted with her skin, and her hair, I was wearing my ball suit too, which made me realize that it really was a dream, because that suit didn't even exist anymore, it was in pieces. Clair approached me, she had a fine fog over her face, but I could clearly see her features, she was smiling, the sweetest, purest, and most sincere smile I've ever seen her give. And then her lips said in the most articulate way possible the word mate, she said making a movement with her mouth showing every crease of those perfect lips, and then she got a little closer, placed her hands on my chest, and stretched her feet on tiptoe, to find his lips on mine, in the exact same way he did when he kissed me in my room.

Kissing her in the dream was different from kissing her in real life, it was as if in the dream, we didn't have the layers of worry and fear, it was as if her kiss was clean, light, and sweet. Her lips were so addictive that I never wanted to let go, I wanted to stay there forever, I closed my eyes kissing her, and pulled her waist close, her body fit mine, in a way I couldn't even describe. I wanted to rip off her dress with all the strength I had, but she stopped kissing me and moved away, at that moment I opened my eyes and she was wearing her guard's uniform, I knew what was coming in the dream, so I grabbed her in my arms, but it was as if Clair slipped, she was pulled away from me, but this time, she stopped in front of me, and she smiled, but in her smile a slight trickle of silver on the side of her mouth, my heart already was accelerating, it jumped, I felt suffocated, I saw her veins standing out on her arms and the greenish tone of the veins on her white skin, now had a silvery contrast, and that scared me even more.

And then the arrows appeared, and even though I threw myself forward, wanting to cover her with my body, I wanted to get her out of there, I wanted to save her, but it was all in vain.

The arrows hit her body, and one of them hit her in the chest, I saw the blood flowing out, without stopping, and in a few moments, I saw small silver drops coming out with it. Only after her body fell to the ground, I was finally able to move, I ran towards Clair and pulled her into my arms, as I heard her take her last breath, I pressed her small body against mine, and a scream I couldn't contain came out of me as if I really let it escape, it was out of despair and it was from the deep of my soul.

I woke up screaming and already sitting in bed, the feeling was even worse than the first time, I didn't remember being so breathless in my entire life, my wolf didn't growl, he didn't warn me, he just screamed inside me, and I barely had time to get to my bedroom door, he came, I had to hold back the impulse to not shift, to at least go down the stairs and open the door to the house, the feeling was the same as holding back vomit, it was distressing and it felt like I was going to explode at any moment.

When I finally reached the outside, just as the night breeze hit me, I let him come, and we ran, it felt even faster than the first time, it left me completely beside myself, I needed, I needed to make sure that she was fine. Even more so after the attack. I felt my thighs tingle from fatigued muscles, I wanted to stop to catch some air and adjust my breathing, but I couldn't. I only felt the branches, leaves, and stones beneath my paws, with each step I took. I arrived at Clair's Pack and I was practically running in a zigzag pattern, but this time David was there. I stopped and turned in front of the door.

"You again Alpha Arthur?" One of the guards was the same as the first night I arrived there. But I didn't answer him, I just stopped and tried to breathe before speaking.

"What do you mean, again?" David asked the guard, but he then turned to me. "What are you doing here Arthur?" David asked me in a rude tone, and it crossed my mind that Monica had told me that we already slept together and he was mad at me now.

Damn, what's more?

"I had a nightmare about Clair." I tried to speak while breathing heavily and I had to breathe in again. "I already had it once and I had to come and see if she was okay, this time it was worse." I rested my hands on my knees, still trying to breathe. "I just need to see if she's okay."

I pointed to the door, wanting to go in, but David took a step to the right and stood in front of me, blocking my path.

"I'm sorry Arthur, they let you through the first time, but now I'm guarding her myself, after the attack. I can't let you go up." David's words carried smugness, and I knew he was doing his job, but a wave of anger began to build inside me, and my wolf wanted to take control, push him aside, and climb the force.

"Listen David." I put my hand on his shoulder, and his gaze went from my hand to my face. "Clair is my mate and…" I started to speak.

"But she asked for your rejection." David interrupted me, and hearing those words from his mouth made me almost lose control right then and there.

"And do you think that makes any difference to me? I still want to protect her at all costs. I need to see if she's okay."

"Protect the Iron Lady? She doesn't need your protection." David laughed, and my hand almost went to his throat and squeezed until he choked on his own laugh.

"She needed it two days ago," I said with a huff, which made him lower his gaze and take a step back. "Listen, David, put yourself in my shoes. Imagine you had a nightmare that Monica was dying in your arms. Wouldn't you want to see her and make sure everything is okay?" I asked looking directly into his eyes, and I saw his jaw lock when I said Monica's name, something in his eyes changed, his eyebrows furrowed, and after a few seconds he let out the air from his lungs, took a step back and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Get him a uniform," David ordered the guards nearby. "You're not going up naked." He now said it directly to me.

We both remained silent, waiting for the uniform, I hoped to become friends with David, he was Clair's best friend and Monica's partner. But after this situation, I didn't know if that would be possible.

The guard brought a uniform and I put it on even faster than last time, I had barely finished zipping it and David opened the door behind him, I finished zipping it up taking the stairs two at a time. This time I already knew where her room was, and I just went, driven by desperation to know if she was okay, I opened my palm and knocked on the door, I was so nervous that I couldn't smell her, which made me became even more desperate, the seconds seemed like hours, I knocked again.

"Clair, please, I need to know if you're okay." Her name came out loud, but the next words came out broken and dry in my throat, the ball of pain that formed in my chest made it difficult to swallow. I was about to knock down the door when the doorknob clicked open, and I faced her, with messy hair and half-open eyes, she was the most fucking perfect being in the universe.

Without even thinking, I pulled her by the waist into my embrace, while I took three long steps and entered the room with her and kicked the door behind us. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair, smelling her sweet and floral scent, to make sure she was okay.

"Arthur." She started to say, I felt she wanted to be reluctant, but then she gave up and walked into my embrace. We stayed like that for a few seconds, she let me calm down feeling her presence, and I have to say that being able to hug her without having to use force was something extraordinary.

I released her slowly, just to the point of seeing her face, my eyes stared at every inch of her, while both my hands wrapped around her jaw, slightly lifting her face to my eyes. I lightly ran my thumb over her lower lip and the corner of her mouth, where in the nightmare there was a streak of silver.

"Nightmare again?" She asked me so quietly it was a whisper.

"This time it was worse," I said, swallowing hard, the scene came back to my mind and I had to close my eyes tightly, my heart accelerated once again, and even seeing her there, safe, in front of me, I still went into despair.

I didn't imagine her next movement, Clair pushed me lightly, just to the point where I took a step back and sat on the edge of her bed, this time she positioned herself between my legs, and held my face with her two hands.

Both her small hands could barely wrap around my jaw, and even though I was sitting and she was standing in front of me, I needed to lift my face very little to look at her, we were almost at eye level with each other. She looked at me deeply.

"Look at me, I'm fine, I'm right here." Her words washed my soul, it was as if only there I found peace, only there I found peace.

She noticed my breathing slowly calming down, and now it was as if she was analyzing every inch of my face.

"Feeling better?" She asked with a smile on her face. I just nodded yes. "But you can't go back to your Pack like that again. I'll prepare the guest room." She took a step back, but I didn't get up, I just let my back fall heavily onto her bed, some of what I felt was frustration, frustration with hugging Clair, and that meant everything and nothing at the same time. When I lay down on her bed, her smell was so strong there, that I forced myself to go up a little more, up until I could feel her pillow.

"What are you doing?" She asked me standing with her arms crossed near the door, I raised my eyes to see her and only now could I see the black lace nightgown she was wearing, and damn, my hard cock tightened around the uniform immediately.

"I won't be able to sleep in the guest room smelling you like that." I said letting my head fall onto her pillow.

"And do you think it's okay if you sleep in my bed then?" She asked me raising an eyebrow.

"I think so," I replied smiling. "Listen, Clair, you seem to be afraid of me since you first saw me, but I would never lay a finger on you without your consent, I just want to sleep knowing that you're okay." My words made her sigh, she relaxed her shoulders and walked around the bed.

"Okay, but just sleep, Arthur." She asked and pulled the sheets to lie down.

And suddenly she was there, lying down, facing away from me, curled up on the bed. The bare skin of her arms, her curves highlighted by the nightgown, was a fucking dream, and a good one at that. I had practically no control when my fingers first passed lightly over her arm, making her move in place of the shiver, she reacted to my every touch, and I fit my body into hers, my hand pulled her waist, and her body fit into my chest, my face buried itself in her hair up to her neck and I wrapped one of my legs around hers.

"Didn't you say you wouldn't touch me without my consent?" She gasped, without making the slightest effort to let go, it was as if her mind said this, but her body responded to my every touch.

"Tell me you don't like it and I'll let you go." I said against her neck, right before kissing the thin skin under her ear, Clair sighed, her body shivered, and she adjusted herself in my embrace, I felt her fall asleep in a few seconds, and if that wasn't Fucking paradise, I don't know what it is. Soon after, I fell asleep too.

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