Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book
Chapter 80: The Journey begins

I exhale and almost cry with relief and turn to pull my hands from Carmen, who no longer has reason to hold me back. "Are you coming?” I ask her warily, legs shaking from adrenalin, and weakening with relief as she nods, gesturing back to a hold all on the steps she must have zoomed together before hyper speeding down here. She goes and retrieves it, and we head for the passenger door of the truck, her climbing in first with me last to sit on the double seat side by side. “Glad you could make it.” Meadow smirks knowing full well she almost gave me a heart attack minutes ago. No remorse whatsoever in her tone or her amused expression. “Sometimes I really don't like you!" I point out, hand over my chest to calm my heartrate, glaring at her scornfully and she laughs "Ahhh but hamera, you love me more than life.” "So where are we going?” Carmen cuts in, impatient already and I can feel the anxiety swarming from her in getting to go already. There's a smog of impatient in her manner and a restlessness that seems a little unnatural. I can’t imagine what she feels today but it's coming across in subtle hostile tension. “New Mexico, Chica. Sierra is going to call us when we are almost there to pinpoint where exactly. Right now, we have a rough town to aim for, but Sierra is going to keep using a locator spell to get us right to her when we arrive.” Meadow pulls out her cell and shakes it for Carmen to somehow prove that Sierra knows how to use such things before sliding it back into her pocket. We packed our bags last night and stowed them in the truck, so we really have nothing to wait around for. Sun is coming up; the homestead will start to wake soon, and we need to move before that happens. Least amount of hold ups and we can focus on what's to come. I told Sierra not to see us off, or else I wouldn't go. I'm worried about her being alone to cope as Luna in my absence, no support, not even the subpack here to help and advise her and I know that seeing her looking so lost would have swayed me. I'm hoping it's an uneventful two or three days for her, or however long we are gone and that the fog sitting around the perimeter keeps the pack in their homes and out of her hair. There's nothing else for them to do until we know more and whether we can do something. It's a waiting game where they have all been told to stay home, stay calm and let us do what we have to do. They have enough fresh supplies for the month, and we still have our animals, our dried stores and ability to produce some of our vegetables in the homestead greenhouses we set up months ago. We can stay put, stay safe without needing to leave the grounds for four weeks, providing nothing else happens. It's the best thing for them all to do. I'm startled back out of my thoughts by the truck starting up again and I spot Tom getting out of the way, his accompanying two wolves who are going on perimeter patrol this morning showing up beside him and I can see the question in their eyes as they spot who is in here. I hold my breath, paused in alarm because I know that the mind link gossip will start doing the rounds sooner than later. Meadow is the military leader after Colton, I'm Luna, and here we are abandoning them right after their Alpha fell to a spell. I know it looks bad, and they will panic, but they have to trust I'm leaving to try and fix this. "Good luck"! Tom pack links us, and I catch the side eyed suspicious looks he gets from his mates, but they say nothing, just watch us turn out of the gravel drive and head towards the opening and out into the fog. I can almost taste their fear and anticipation as they realize we don't intend to stop where clean air meets emerald mist, but as soon as we cross the boundary, I lift my hands in readiness to push the fog away should I need too, and we lose all contact with those inside. Like an invisible barrier it cuts off Tom's mind link and that of the rest of my pack. For the first time in 6 months all those subtle feelings and vibrations I am so accustomed to, the emotions of my people that follow me every day, they all fall silent like I just stepped into a soundproofed chamber and it's intense, feelings of being swept over by a veil of cold. All that's left is the tension and silent apprehension of Meadow and Carmen, suddenly intensified as they no longer compete with all the other feelings around me, and I blink back out of the rear window on the back door as the fog surrounds us and envelopes us out of sight of the homestead. A sense of loss, heightened worry and a sadness that I'm leaving them. “Well, this was something I didn't think of.” Meadow cuts into my thoughts sharply, and pulls me back to face the front window, glancing to her furrowed scowl and her newly aggravated mood. "What?" I frown at her and look out when she nods ahead at the misty view feet in front of us and I click right away at what she’s hinting. We can’t see a damn thing, not even the road. Despite the fog near the boundary seeming thinner and almost transparent in places, it seems coupled with morning mist from the mountains, damp air and dull light, it's killing vision beyond four feet. "God dammit Carmen. Don't fucking do that. Last thing I need is to feel guilty over the likes of you. I never saw an ounce of humanity in the two years you were in our pack, and now I don't even.... People don't change that dramatically.” Meadow can't help the venom in her tone and despite me having more reason to not like this girl, Meadow has still never let go of her grudge about Carmen's misdemeanors of the past. Maybe because they have a two-year history and a lot more than I ever did with her, maybe that's why. I just don't get why she asked for her to come if this was how she intended to be with her. “What would you know?” Carmen mumbles it to the window and more to herself than Meadow, her mood spiking into many conflicted feelings that I can't read, and I honestly don’t know how to mediate. I love Meds to death and well, Carmen, she’s not my favorite person, but I do feel this isn't the time nor place. "What did you say?” Meadow is obviously looking for a fight and I get it. She's in pain, this is how she is. Her outlet when she needs to vent is to be fierce and Cesar is usually the one to handle her like this. Her pain comes out in aggression, loud sassy attitude, hot fiery passion, or sheer fury, and she has only us two to take it out on. She would never do it to me, not because I'm her Luna, but because she protects and loves me like she’s my mother and I never get her rage. Cesar can handle it; he draws it to him on purpose when she gets this way so he can take her back down to a normal level. “I said.... What. Would. You. Know!” Carmen bites it back at her boldly, annunciating every word cattily, turning with a tight expression, eyes ambering out in anger. This time turning fully hostile and the heat and sparks begin to rise between them like high voltage energy, crackling as Carmen's own temper bites “Stop it." I snap at both of them and raise my hands to wipe my face in frustration “You two better not be like this for this entire trip.” My patience snaps, my attempts at hopeful and upbeat are stomped out and instead heavy fatigue grips me as my head starts to ache. I cant deal with this shit. “I'm sorry.” Meadow grinds her teeth, glancing to me with apology and a hint of defeat on her pretty face and goes back to the road, something coming to her realization suddenly as she widens her eyes and quickly turns left to right with a quick head move. “They've stopped” she points out and instinctively I turn and look out the back window, seeing nothing but the distant still shadows of figures in the fog, unmoving, and letting us leave with no more interaction. Carmen turns too. "Why did they stop so easily?” “Maybe they can't go any further..... look” Meadow points ahead pulling our attention back to the windscreen and we can see where the fog thins out enough that its’ barely there, finally an end in sight to this depressing smoke. It's definitely thinning to almost nonexistence and I wonder if maybe the spell really does weaken when they leave it for any length of time. “You don't think...” I trail off not sure how to word it, but Meadow cuts in. “Maybe, I mean it's a possible back up plan right.... kidnapping them one at a time and keeping them out of the fog out here to see.... If all else fails.” She shrugs, a look of possibility glinting in her eye. I blink at her, my gut churning over, gazing back one more time at the distant figures and sigh heavily, expelling some heaviness now we know we are running free. “It can't be that simple. There has to be another reason they arent following us.” "We are three.... the homestead is dozens, maybe they just want to stay where they have more to kill,” Carmen chimes in bluntly, as gracious as ever, and I shudder at the thought. Maybe she’s right, even if she said it without tact or any obvious emotion. What is three lone wolves when they have an entire homestead of hundreds left behind. If blood and destruction is what they're after, then we are too much effort to chase when they can't get into our steel box. The thought makes me sick and as we hightail it onto the main route and relatively clear air with no more impaired vision and the sun warms us as it starts to reach higher in the sky. If we were not on such a depressing mission, it would be the start of a beautiful and unusually warm day. I start to rub my temples, overwhelmed with utter sadness and despair at what we are even having to do and force Colton out of my mind once again. The constant craving for him never seems to subside and now we're leaving them behind, I experience a new sense of longing and a subtle panic that we will be far apart. "Don't think about it. Just focus on what we have to do. It's a long drive and we have to stick to human routes to keep contact with other packs to a minimum. If we plough on, we can get there before dark, as long as we keep stops to fuel only.” Meadow pats me on the shoulder and pushes my hair off my face in that gentle mom type way she has. “Sleep while you can, you look exhausted. We need our Luna to be fit and well and I don't need you right now. You too, Carmen, you can take over driving when I need a break.” Meadow is in bossy mode once more, bickering forgotten, commanding like she does the sub pack and the sentinels and I nod, knowing there's not much else to do but stare at passing scenery while these two bicker and glare the journey away. Carmen doesn't argue but gets up and moves to the back and climbs onto one of the stabilized beds, turning away from us and pulling the blanket in front of her face. I could sense her tiredness when I collected her earlier, I guess sedation and grief are not a great combo and I'm sort of glad she’s chosen to go lay down. I stop as I lift form my seat and lean down to Meadow, linking only her with a gentle tone. “Go easy on her, I get the feeling things have happened in the past months and she doesn't seem the same. Remember what's just happened to her.” I squeeze Meds shoulder lightly and smile as her eyes dart to mine for a second. “It's hard to let go of old grudges when she looks and seems exactly the same. Her mom died, yet she seems fine. She's so much more stable than I expected her to be.” Meadow bites bitterly, as though she is somehow disappointed in Carmen for not breaking down, but I frown at her and shake my head. “Everyone grieves in their own way. I think she’s in shock and it hasn't sunk in that she's really gone. Med's please, treat her the way you would treat any other wolf in the pack. Forget who she used to be. Her heart is broken, I can feel it.” “Is that a command, Luna?” Meadow eyes me up with a hint of attitude, knowing I usually never tell her what to do in terms of how she handles things and I throw her an exasperated look. In all the months I have been such I have never commanded Meadow to do anything. She's my best friend. It's a line I don't like crossing, even if I do have a right to do it. She was there for me when I was no one, and I don't like to lord over her in anyway when she mothers me effectively. “It's a gentle request, for me.” I point out with a smile and lean in to kiss her on the temple, smoothing back her hair in a bod to show her my deepest love and respect and that I don't want bad blood between us, and pause before I head to the back. "Are you sure you don't want me to sit with you for now. Company?” I hesitate and go as if to sit again, but meadow shakes her head “I need thinking time. Seeing him, hitting him with the truck...my head's a mess. I want some space to process shit.” She furrows her brow over a saddened gaze and taps the wheel distractedly, shaking free some of the surging sadness that seems to climb up over her. “It's not him.... None of them are themselves right now. Don't dwell. Stay focused and remember, none of them have any control of what's happening.” I rub her shoulder again and take the hint to move, leaving her sitting in the driver seat while I go to the back and climb onto the other made-up bed. Carmen is quiet but I can tell by her breathing she’s wide awake and staring at the truck wall. Her back to me, her posture stiff and unrelaxed despite laying down, and I feel for her. "Are you okay?” I ask her as I settle myself on top of the blankets of this bed and lay down, relived that these are pretty comfortable despite being medical trolleys. “No. But does it matter?.... Life goes on. The world keeps turning. People die.... It's the living that matter.” her response is low, shocking to me and almost bitter though she doesn't turn to look at me at all. “If you need to talk...” I start to try for compassion, the will of my Luna side taking hold to try and ease a pack member. “I don't. I need to sleep.” it's a snapped final statement and she reinforces it by pulling the blanket over her head to shut me out and make it clear I need to leave her alone. Waves of iciness thrown my way and I take the hint, slightly irritated by her brisk manner and can only exhale to calm my own turmoil. "Okay then. Goodnight, I guess.” I try not to let her get to me but this whole situation is weird. In here, I'm no Luna when it comes to these two head butting stubborn femmes, and it feels like we are just three girls with old wounds on a road trip to try and make sense of everything that has ever come to us. If only that were true.

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