Sea Of Sparks And Shadows
chapter twenty

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Amaris woke up to a sudden jolt of the ship. She looked around and was surprised to see some light streaming through the porthole. Since the first day she boarded this ship, she hadn’t slept past sunrise. A little past the porthole Wind Tuner lay in his bunk sleeping on his stomach, wings enveloping him better than any blanket and breathing heavily through his mouth. Amaris smiled. He deserved some rest. After the huge effort he pulled to keep the ship hovering over the water for hours until Shark declared them far enough from the circle’s power that he could move the ship forward the rest of the way. Wind had used every last drop of his weaving power to save them. It would take weeks, maybe even months before he could so much as lift a leaf with his weaving again.

Amaris looked at her own shoulder which was wrapped in makeshift bandages, a dull pain still shot up from it every time she shifted. In their hurry to make the ship as light as possible one of the Sailors must have thrown the crate of potions they got from Manticali out into the sea.

“I’m sorry, kid.” Hawk had said after inspecting her shoulder. “We’ll just have to let it heal naturally.”

She didn’t mind. It didn’t hurt much but she had to be careful about her movements. She’d expected -and dreaded- Hawk to give her a few days off. But he had something different in mind. “Kitchen duty. Just because you can’t move your upper arm doesn’t mean you can’t work.” He’d said. And if she was completely honest with herself, she was grateful for it.

That was why she found it strange how no one had woken her up this morning. She wasted no time getting out of bed, moving her injured arm as little as possible, and making her way on deck. She recognized the scene in front of her immediately. The rushing sailors, the lowering sails. The nearing land. The shore was not very far away but something was off. The piece of land in front of them was tiny. No ports, no houses, no flags.

“An abandoned Island.” Mirage spoke behind her. “The ship needs some work. The Manticali soldiers may still be following us, probably from a safer pass. So a small break is ideal.”

Amaris turned to face him. “There?” She pointed to the island. It looked like a green blur of trees and nothing else.

“It’s hidden. It’s empty. It’s perfect.” He Shrugged. “Might even get some food for the next few days.”

“The boats are ready,” Hawk called.

She turned to face him and caught a glimpse of the captain. He was watching her, a deep, contemplating look on his face. That was as far as their interactions went ever since the white circle. He never spoke to her but whenever he was near, she could feel him watching. She did not know whether she should apologize for her behavior or wait for him to do so. Either way, she was not going to be the first to break the silence. At least not before she knew exactly what she wanted to say.

***

Amaris watched the soldiers divide into neat lines around the ropes attached to the hull of the ship. She was leaning on the small pile of crates that somehow survived not being thrown off at the white circle, scowling at Hawk who brushed past her to reach for another rope.

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, already making his way back to the other sailors.

She was quick to follow barely a step behind him “I want to help,” She protested.

“Not with this.” He didn’t even spare her a glance. “When we need your help, We’ll ask.”

She caught up with him, bare feet slipping on the hot sand. “I don’t want to sit here doing nothing,” She said.

“Did you forget about that?” He gestured to her bandaged shoulder.

“It’s fine,” She said.

“It won’t be once you start pulling at it.” She huffed. “Look,” His tone softened “Wind Tuner is resting. So are Greenie and Ghost. Why don’t you go lie down a bit?”

Her scowl deepened but she nodded, “Fine.”

“Thank you,” He said before walking to join the other men.

Amaris made her way to the edge of the woods and sat under the shade of a large tree, not far from where Wind Tuner lay in the sand. She crossed her arms and watched the men slowly turn the ship over, their tired groans and moans filled the air, before she grew too tired of that and reached for her notebook in her bag to keep herself busy with some math or new machine design. Her fingers skimmed over a cold hard surface and before she knew what she was doing, she pulled out Spark.

The small robot was happy to move around in circles and she was happy to survey it until something caught her attention at the corner of her eye. Slygrin was crouched near a bush with a huge basket. His hands were pulling at the bush but she couldn’t see what he was doing, exactly. So she stood up and got closer.

“What’s the basket for? She asked.

Slygrin looked up and shaded his eyes from the sun. “Berries. And all the fruit I can find here.”

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“Why not?” He nodded his head towards the meager stack of things salvaged from the ship. “Just grab a basket from there.”

Amaris looked around. This was better than sitting down and watching. She quickly sneaked over to the boxes and got out a basket she found leaning on the side, before making her way back to the tree line.

She caught Hawk scowling at her as she passed but he didn’t stop her. “Stay near the edge of the woods,” He said, “And just collect berries and fallen fruit. Don’t open your wound.” She nodded and was on her way before he could give her any more orders.

***

Amaris reached for a guava that was just out of her reach. She stood on her tiptoes and stretched her arm. Her fingers barely scraped it’s skin and she was rewarded with a burst of pain that left her shoulder pulsing and her lips wanting to curse with every new word she learned on the Silver Crescent. She swallowed the urge and tried again, jumping this time and grabbing the fruit. She had spent the last hour strolling through the mangled branches and tripping over curling roots. She didn’t particularly enjoy this activity but it was better than sitting at the shore watching the rest of the crew work while doing nothing to help.

She looked around some more and glimpsed a mango tree in the distance. She trudged through the muddy grounds, careful of the poking branches and thorns. Slygrin had trailed back to the beach earlier and she was about to follow, until she realized that her basket was almost as light as when she picked it up that morning. Embarrassed at her absent mind, she’d promised Slygrin that she wouldn’t be long and ventured a little deeper in search for bigger fruits that would fill her basket faster than the berries she’d been collecting.

Although she had promised herself to focus on the task at hand, Amaris was still stuck in her thoughts. Even though the very reason she demanded to be given something to do was to not think, her mind wandered in a jungle denser than the one her body was walking through. She’d made it a point not to think about the conversation she had with her father before everything went to hell. Her father. The very word sounded strange to her ears. Whenever she thought of the word, an image of a dark shadowy male figure would take place in her mind. Now, that image was replaced with one of the bearded redheaded man whose ship she had spent the last two weeks aboard.

She didn’t let herself wonder if what he said was the truth or a lie. On one hand if it were the truth, then that would mean that she wasn’t as alone as she had thought. On the other, that meant that her whole life had been a lie. Her grandmother had known that he came back for her mother. That he came back for both of them, and chose to hide the truth. It meant that her aunt knew her mother was a married woman in love and still chose to call her a whore, and Amaris the bastard daughter. It meant that everyone had chosen to keep the couple apart. Even when Asterin was on her deathbed they still chose to let her believe that she had been abandoned and tricked and that the man she was in love with had used and discarded her.

And what would that really mean? That she’s been surrounded by liars and deceivers her whole life. She never liked Cynthia. She always knew that she wasn’t a kind hearted woman. But she had always assumed that she and her grandmother weren’t inherently bad people. She’d been told over and over again, by them, by the servants, by everyone, how generous they were to take care of her when she would bring them nothing but shame. How they could’ve thrown her in an orphanage or to the streets, but they decided to keep her and raise her. Granted it was in private and hidden from sight. Granted they threw her in the servants quarter, granted they didn’t homeschool her like Vanya or let her go to a public school like the poorer children, granted she was warned -and even threatened- not to speak their family name or link it to hers. Granted all of those things…

How could she have been so stupid? How could she have thought they were anything but cruel?

She shook her head, heart aching and anger and hurt bubbling inside her. She’d assumed they did her a favor out of pure humanity. When in reality, they had been the reason her life was in ruins. If they had spoken the truth, she’d have reunited with her father much much earlier. Her mother might even be alive and happy, or at least, died with her love and husband by her side. She would have been at peace.

That was alright. She tried to convince herself. She’d never see those people again. She might miss Vanya, and Lydia and some other servants, but she was not going back. She was free of them. She’d never have to hear the horrible voice of Cynthia as she insulted her and her mother. She’d never have to hear her high pitched laugh when an important guest came by and she tried very hard to impress them. She’d never have to stand and watch as she made fun of her and her ‘tinkers’ and her lack of weaving. She was free.

But then, what? What came next?

Many people would kill for a chance to see their parents’ faces again and you’re getting that chance and more. I think you’re very lucky. And very stupid.

Amaris sighed, frustrated with her thoughts. She was tired of the mess that had become her life. She looked around and found herself much deeper in the forest than she expected. The sunlight was barely showing through the thick canopy of leaves. She wasn’t certain whether that was because of how dense the forest was in this part or if it was getting later than she expected. She was even less certain which possibility was worse.

Not far from her, was another mango tree. She looked at her half-filled basket and decided that it was enough. She’d pick these fruits then try to find her way back to the beach and the crew. This trip was much less peaceful than she had anticipated. Between her wild thoughts and the surprisingly loud sounds of the wildlife, Amaris was more than ready to get back to her friends.

Amaris stepped closer to the tree and found a ripe mango on a high branch. She reached out for it then cursed as another wave of pain shot over her. How did Hawk ever think this was an activity she could do with an injured shoulder?

Maybe he didn’t count on you collecting anything but berries like he told you? A small voice in the back of her mind said. She scowled.

She tried to ignore the pain and tried again standing on her tiptoes. Still useless. She stepped closer sensing for a higher spot or a root she could stand on while her eyes still fixated on the unreachable fruit. She was just about to stand on a high tree root when she heard a shout,

“No!” Before she could turn to face the voice, arms wrapped around her middle and spun her around, throwing her a few feet away.

“What the hell?” She yelped, stumbling a few steps before steadying herself. The captain stood where she was a second earlier. Kicking at something on the ground with his boot. It was only after she heard the angry hiss that she realized that a snake was slithering near the base of the tree, where she assumed a root was. With another nudge from the captain’s boot, the animal disappeared into the bushes and out of sight with an angry hiss.

“What are you doing here?” She asked when her heart resumed its usual rhythm.

The glare the captain gave her was enough to make her want to swallow her words. His eyes shone with anger edging on panic as he asked. “Were you or were you not ordered to stay at the edge of the woods?”

“I was just-”

“Were you or were you not?” He repeated.

“Yes, I was.”

“Then what are you doing this far in? There’s more than enough berry bushes at the edge.”

“I… got distracted,” She admitted with a huff and crossed her arms and glared back. “What’s the big deal anyway? I can find my way back. I’m not lost.”

“The big deal is that that snake was venomous. One bite from it and you wouldn’t know left from right, let alone how to get back to the beach safely.”

“But it didn’t bite me.”

“It would have.” Silence fell between the captain and his daughter, both too stubborn and too prideful to step down. Finally, he let out a heavy breath. “You can be mad at me all you want. You can sulk for as long as you need. But do not go around getting yourself in trouble for it.”

Amaris looked at anything but her father. “That has nothing to do with it.”

“Come on,” He said waving his hand in front of him, “let’s go back.”

For once, Amaris didn’t argue and trudged in front of the captain. For the longest time, the two of them moved in silence, focusing on their path and their steps instead of the weight of the words they have yet to speak. After a while Amaris couldn’t take it any longer and she said, “So, how long have you been captain of the Silver Crescent?”

“About ten years.”

“What did you do before that?”

“I rose through the ranks. I was sail master for five years, then first mate before they voted me captain.”

“You never worked as a boatswain?” She wondered out loud.

“No,” he smiled, “I’m afraid that’s all you.” Amaris kept silent, so the captain continued. “How did you start taking interest in machines anyway?”

“I just like being around them, I suppose.”

When she didn’t elaborate, her father didn’t push. But she could see he was disappointed with her short reply. She sighed silently in defeat, then spoke again. “An old clock broke at the mansion when I was eight. It was Lydia’s- the housekeeper’s. She got it from her mother and she loved it a lot. Lydia is very sweet. She’s the kindest person I know. So, I snuck into the library and read a book about clockwork and fixed it for her. I liked it, and I found myself always reading more about them and trying things out.”

“Your mother was like that too.”

“She liked working with machines?” Amaris turned to face him completely but he shook his head.

“No, she didn’t really care for that, but she liked helping others with anything she could. She told me once that her best friend was a servant at their mansion. She moved away before Asterin left for Paradelia though, so I don’t think you know her.”

“It’s more than that to me. It wasn’t exactly a choice.” Amaris muttered. “Lydia wasn’t just a friend to me. She was like a second mother. She’s the one who taught me to read and write in secret. And she used to take care of me when I was too young to even walk on my own. Grandmother had just ordered her to lock me up in a room and feed me when need be. But she did much more than that. She treated me like her own daughter.”

She’d wondered about her a lot since leaving Oddelerie. Her biggest regret was not being able to give her a proper goodbye. She’d written a letter and made Vanya promise she’d give it to her as soon as she stepped into the mansion at dawn, but she still wished she could have hugged her goodbye instead.

“How bad was it?” The captain asked quietly.

“How bad was what?” Amaris snapped out of her reveries.

“The Medies. How did they treat you?”

“It wasn’t that bad.” She shrugged. “I had Lydia and the other servants. And I had Vanya, she’s my cousin, Cynthia’s daughter but she’s nothing like her. I had a roof over my head, and I ate and drank and wore as the servants did. It wasn’t horrible.”

The captain’s movements became stiffer. He didn’t meet her eyes when he asked. “Then why did you run?”

“How did you..?”

The captain cringed as he admitted timidly “That first night you boarded the ship, I asked Mirage to gather what he could about you and he said that you told him that your family was forcing you into an arrangement you didn’t want to be a part of.”

Amaris didn’t know what to say. She didn’t blame him for checking who his unexpected passenger was, yet she wasn’t sure if telling him the truth would be a good idea. ”It’s a long story.”

“Amaris…” She was still not used to hearing her name on his tongue. “Please, tell me.”

“I got into an argument with my aunt.”

“About...?”

Her voice was meek when she answered. “About an arranged marriage with a count from Linorva.”

“What?” The captain halted, complete shock and anger clear on his face.

“It wasn’t something I was interested in, so I left.” She wisely chose to keep the threats and insults hidden as she shrugged nonchalantly and continued walking.

“Dear heavens,” He swore to himself, “They never change.”

The torture on his face was so blatant that Amaris found herself comforting him. “It’s alright. I’m far away from them now. And I even found you,” She added quietly.

The pain only got worse at her words. “I should’ve been there for you. You should never have gone through that. You should never have been left with those people.”

“You are here now.” She said, and she believed it. She believed him. She was ready to get to know the captain and have a parent in her life. She was ready to give this man, her father, a chance.

And he understood that too. That was why he pulled her into a hug. “Yes, I am. And I promise you, you will never have to go through any of that again.”

The hug was very strange and uncomfortable for both of them. It was also one sided for the longest of moments before Amaris finally conceded and hugged him back. “I believe you.” She whispered as her heart ached with both fear and anticipation for what was to come.

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