Shadows Of Desire
The Things we Left Behind

“There’s no point in standing around here waiting for your scouts to return. I already know where he is and I know who took him.” Thaden angrily attached the saddle bag to Shadow Dancer, pulling the straps a bit too tight to her liking. She whinnied and shifted to the side, flaring her nostrils at him. “Sorry girl.” Thaden gave the horse a gentle pat to calm her though she could sense his distress which put only put her more on edge.

“So, what is your plan? Storm the gates of Basmorte on your own?” Asgall raised an eyebrow, questioningly. “Thaden, they’ll kill you before you even reach the main gate.”

Thaden sighed. He cast his eyes to the ground, willing himself not to fall apart. In truth, he’d been on edge since he was first informed that Rowan had been taken. His mind swam with all the horrible things that he imagined could be happening to his mate but he tried his best to push those thoughts to the back of his mind and focus on what he knew. Rowan was alive. He could feel it through their bond. He was alive and scared but also angry and ready to fight. Knowing that Rowan hadn’t given up was the only thing that was keeping Thaden sane at the moment.

“I have to do something.” Thaden whispered. “I can’t...I’ll go mad if I just sit around and wait. The more time spent apart the more restless I become.”

“He’s your mate.” Asgall nodded. He understood all too well how Thaden felt. Asgall felt the same stinging pain when Ellarian was taken from him. It was a misery that he’d never quite recovered from and one that he would not wish on anyone. “He was chosen for you by the Gods themselves. Nothing can break that bond but the longer you’re apart the more painful the separation becomes. It’s like losing a part of yourself.”

“Then you understand why I have to go.”

Asgall nodded. “I do. But, I also know that you’re not thinking rationally. Your mind is focused on one thing and one thing only and that can be dangerous, especially going into enemy territory.”

“Then, what do you suggest I do?” Thaden asked, turning his attention to the man standing beside him.

“Give me a day or two. We’ll be better prepared. We cam formulate a plan and I can send a small squad of men with you. Better to go in prepared than in a blind rage. You’d have a better chance of survival at least.”

“No.” Thaden shook his head. “I appreciate your concern but I can’t wait that long. With the King dead, Rowan has no protection from the Queen. She’s already tried to murder him once, there’s no reason to believe she won’t try again and, this time, succeed. He has precious little time left.”

Asgall sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration. He knew he couldn’t stop Thaden from leaving but allowing him to go without help would be like sending him to his death and, Asgall just couldn’t permit that to happen. “If you’re determined to do this, then please, don’t go alone. Let me send someone with you.” Asgall called Riona over to him who, up until this point, had been discussing the revised guard schedule since the vampire’s attack.

Fortunately no one had been killed but, there were several guards injured trying to fend off the invaders. The guards and warriors had been trained in combat in case something like this happened but the vampire’s had taken them by surprise, sneaking in like cowards in the night rather than facing the Shee head on. Riona suspected they had been watching them for sometime, maybe even before Thaden and Rowan had arrived in the village. The warding around the village had been disrupted by placing hex bags around various spots surrounding the perimeter. Clearly Queen Caroline had the help of a witch as the hex bags used, reeked of dark magic.

Riona made her way to Asgall, bowing to him respectfully. Thaden wondered if the act itself was done for his benefit or if that was the way Riona always greeted her mate.

“How are our defenses looking?” Asgall asked her. “I have the mages putting up more warding spells, stronger ones, but I am not sure how well they will hold. The witch’s magic is strong, old magic, and very dark. I’ve not seen magic like it for centuries.”

“And, the injured?”

“With the healer.” Riona reported. “They should make a full recovery. Thankfully no one else was harmed. Frightened, but unharmed.”

Asgall rubbed his beard as he looked around the village. He had expected a raid by the vampire’s to have caused more devastation but they had left most of the village untouched. The vampire’s had spread out through the village, going from house to house, pulling the residents from their beds and forcing them all into the long house. Those who were in the tavern were also brought to the long house while the Captain of the vampire guard questioned them.

Tally and Thaden had been forced into the long house as well but no one knew where Rowan had gone. Thaden was frantic to find him but he’d left hours ago to walk in the garden, claiming he needed time along to process all that he’d learned about his mother but, he hadn’t returned from his walk. Thaden hoped he would have been forced into the long house with the rest of the villagers but he was not. One by one the villagers were taken before the Captain and each one failed to give him the information that he wanted. When Thaden was brought before him the Captain looked him over with a scrutinizing stare.

“You’re not one of the Shee.” The Captain had said. “Why are you here?”

Thaden glared back at the man, demanding to know why the vampire Queen had sent her men to invade the village. The Captain didn’t like being questioned but Thaden refused to answer any of the man’s questions until he got some answers of his own. It struck him as odd that the vampire troops hadn’t just stormed the village and slaughtered the tribe. Why have them gathered in one place only to question them? The only reason that Thaden could think of was that they were looking for something, or someone. He was immediately suspicious. Did the Queen know that Rowan was alive? Had she sent her men here to find him?

“What is it that you want?” Thaden asked, narrowing his eyes as he stared the Captain down. “Why did the Queen send you here?”

“I’m the one asking question, elf.” The Captain sneered. “Tell me, what business have you here?”

Thaden took in a deep breath, pursing his lips. “I am here with my family, visiting old friends.” He said, finally.

The Captain scanned the crowd of faces huddled together in the dimly lit building. “Where are they?” He asked. “I see no other elven people here, only Fae.”

Thaden let out a breath of relief. Tally had not yet been discovered. He feared what the vampires might do, had they realized that a human child was among the captured. “I sent them on ahead.” He told him. “I planned to meet up with them again on the road back to Rosegate.”

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“As I’ve said.” Thaden sneered. “They’re old friends.”

“I see.” The Captain studied Thaden’s face carefully. Thaden wasn’t sure if the man believed him or not but he didn’t question his story further. “What do you know of the Tuatha?” He asked next. Thaden’s breath caught and his heart nearly stopped at the question. He did his best to compose himself though, certain that the vampire could pick up on changes in his breathing or heart rate. They’re senses were nearly as strong as a wolves and their hearing twice as keen.

Thaden shrugged, feigning ignorance. “What of them?” Thaden gave a soft chuckle. “The Tuatha are a myth. Legends told to Fae and Elven children, nothing more.”

“So, you do not believe in the tales of old then?”

“What is there to believe?” Thaden asked. “If ever they did exist it was long before my time. Some say they created the different realms but left when humans came into existence. Whether the stories are true or not I can not say but, there is no one alive today, that I know of, who has ever seen a member of the Tuatha.”

“So, you know of no one who is considered a descendant?”

Thaden laughed. “Look around you, vampire. We are all descendants of the Tuatha, if the stories are true. Fae, Elves, demons, and even vampires. We are all their children. If you want stories about the Tuatha, seek out the unseelie court. Night Elves know more about dark magic than anyone here.”

“Perhaps.” The Captain nodded, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “But, the Shee are the last living descendants of the Sidhe tribe. If the Tuatha exist still, it is here that we would find them.” He raised an eyebrow as he watched Thaden, waiting for a response.

“Really?” Thaden smirked, mocking the vampire. “Your Queen sent you here in search of fairy tales? Good luck in your pursuit, Captain. Perhaps you’ll find a unicorn while you’re at it. I hear a herd of them run wild in the forests of Ciorstan.” Thaden had a good chuckle at the Captain’s expense. Rolling his eyes, the Captain sent him away and called up the next to be questioned.

Thaden returned to Tally and held her close against him. He knew now that the Queen was searching for Rowan. She may not have realized yet that he was alive, but it was only a matter of time. It was the child of the Tuatha that she had sent her men to find and Rowan was the only one in the village that fit that description. But, what could she possibly want with him? Thaden wondered. Did she know who and what Ellarian was? If so, then she must know about Rowan as well. But, if she believed that he was dead...

No. Thaden told himself. She must think there is another. Why else would she send her men to Pickaway village, when Rowan had been right under her nose all along?

“Thaden?” Thaden looked up, brought out of his thoughts by Asgall who was now looking at him with concern.

“Hm?” Thaden heard the man talking but he wasn’t quite sure what had been said. His thoughts were on Rowan. He couldn’t focus on anything else right now.

“I was just discussing with Riona who would be the best warrior to send with you.”

“I think it’s foolish to go after him.” Riona said, crossing her arms over her chest. Asgall her a disapproving glance that she ignored.

“And why would I not go after him?” Thaden asked, growing angrier by the second. “He’s my mate. Would you not go after your mate, if Asgall were the one taken?”

“Of course I would.” Riona said, narrowing her eyes. “What kind of question is that? He would do the same for me, but we belong here. This is our village, our tribe. Rowan is a vampire. Have you considered that maybe he is back where he should be, back where he belongs?”

“If you feel that way then perhaps I don’t belong here either.” Thaden pulled himself up and onto Shadow dancer’s saddle. “I’m not a Shee after all, just a lowly elf.”

Asgall sighed, shooting Riona a stern look, warning her not to speak again. “I already consider you both members of this tribe, Tally too, no matter what others think.” He glanced to Riona who huffed and looked away. “If you are serious about going after him then I want you to be safe. Riona and I agree that Tomag would be the best warrior to accompany you. He’s young but, he’s skilled with both a bow and a sword.”

“Thank you.” Thaden nodded to Asgall. “I’m sure he will be a valued companion.”

“I still think this is a mistake.” Riona said. “Going after him now is suicide. Is he really worth losing your life over?”

“He’s my mate.” Thaden answered. “Without him, I have no life.”

“And what about Tally, the child? Is he worth abandoning her?”

Thaden sighed. “Isea has agreed to watch over her until I return...with Rowan.”

“And if you don’t? Return, I mean?”

“Then she’ll know the reason why. She understands why I have to do this.” Thaden told her. “She wants him back as much as I do.”

“She’s a child. She doesn’t understand that the life of one is not worth the lives of many. By doing this you could start a war. You put all of us in jeopardy. Not just yourself, but all of us. Rowan understood that. It’s why he allowed himself to be taken.”

“Yes, and maybe you should remember that.” Thaden furrowed his brow as he glared at her. “The vampire’s could have slaughtered every member of this tribe, burned your houses to the ground, and left nothing behind, but they didn’t. Your people live. They live because Rowan sacrificed himself to keep them safe. Think about that the next time you sit down to a hot meal or watch your children play in the forest. Think about what he gave up so that you could live.”

“Then do not let his sacrifice be in vain.” Riona said and for the first time Thaden saw something other than scorn in her eyes. She walked up and placed a hand on his arm, her eyes filled with concern and maybe even...sadness. “Your death will do nothing but add to that which he had already lost.”

“I understand your concerns, and I know that you think you are right, but you’re not. I can not, will not, let him go. Not now, not ever. He is my mate, my life, my love. Without him, there is nothing. Death means nothing to me because, without Rowan, I will never truly be alive. He is...everything to me.”

Riona sighed, knowing she could not talk him out of going. “Then, the Gods be with you and may they lend you strength. You’ll need it.”

***

To the Shee ‘young’ was a relative term. Tomag was young, by their standards, though he surpassed Thaden in age by more than a few hundred years. It amused Thaden to think that, to the Shee, he must seem little more than a child. Where did that leave Rowan? Still in his infancy? Thaden chuckled aloud to himself, earning him a confused look from his riding companion. Thaden waved off the other man’s concerns with a warm smile.

“Just thought of something amusing.” He explained. “Nothing to worry about.”

Tomag nodded. “That’s good.” He commented. “Your levity is good. We’ve a difficult road ahead. Keeping your spirits high is important. Do you still feel your mate through your bond with him?”

Thaden nodded. “He’s alive and at least now he’s calmed down some. I don’t feel his anger anymore.”

“Perhaps he’s resting.” Tomag offered. “Reflecting on his current situation.”

“Perhaps.” Thaden agreed. He hoped that was all it was. He didn’t want to think that Rowan had given up hope yet. He wanted him to stay strong. He wanted him to fight. Rowan’s hope gave Thaden hope and helped him to push on.

The two had been riding for less than half a day and already Thaden was coming know quite a bit about his companion. Tomag seemed soft, and gentle, at first glance. He wasn’t one that came off as formidable in battle or threatening in anyway. Underestimating the man was a mistake though. His small and slender frame made him the perfect ambush hunter. He was fast and agile, and could move through the forest unseen as well as unheard. Though Thaden had not yet witnessed his prowess with a sword, he had seen the man’s skill with a bow. His arrow was deadly and shot with exact precision.

Tomag had taken down a fully grown buck with one shot, killing the animal instantly. As the animal lay dead on the forest floor, Tomag knelt beside it and prayed over it’s body. He thanked the Gods for supplying the animal, and he thanked the animal for sacrificing it’s life to give nourishment and strength to he and Thaden. The man nearly wept as he spoke.

Seeing the curious look on Thaden’s face, Tomag explained to him the reasoning behind his actions. “Killing should never be seen as a victory or triumph. A precious life has been lost. We kill only for survival, never for sport, and we always give thanks for the sacrifice. This creature...” He placed his hand over the dead bucks heart.“It had a mate, and young ones. They will feel his loss and for that I am sad.”

Thaden too knelt beside the animal and ran his hand along it’s back, feeling the fur beneath his fingers. It was still warm but he knew soon it would be cold, once death had settled over it. For the first time ever he felt regret at taking an animals life. “I’ve never thought about it before.” He confessed. “About what the creatures I’ve killed might have left behind. I’ve never felt remorse. They were just animals to me. I’ve never considered that their existence meant anything other than supplying us with food. I’m ashamed that I’ve never seen them as anything more.”

“Perhaps this is a good lesson for you to take with you.” Tomag smiled in a way that let Thaden know that he wasn’t judging him, nor was he berating him for his ways. He was simply...teaching. “All life is precious, my friend. Even the lives of our enemies. It gives me no pleasure to take a life but sometimes it is necessary. To protect my people, I would strike down a hundred vampires, but I would not rejoice in their deaths. Our victory celebrations and songs are to honor those who have fallen and rejoice in the lives that were saved.”

“Is that why you were celebrating your latest hunt, the night we arrived at your village?”

Tomag nodded. “A harsh winter would mean death to those who have no food. We did not dance and sing for the lives we took but rather the lives we saved. We celebrated another year without starvation, another year that our people will survive.”

Thaden understood Tomag’s reasoning and, if he were being honest with himself, he rather liked the idea of giving thanks and showing respect for the fallen animal. It’s death provided him with the strength he would need in the days to come. One creatures death could mean the survival of not two, but possibly four more lives. His and Tomag’s as well as, Rowan’s and the life growing inside of him. Saving Rowan and their unborn child was more important to Thaden than anything, even his own life. Saving them was all that mattered. If the buck’s death helped Thaden to reach his mate then he would give it thanks. He will give it thanks and pray that it’s mate and young lived well and thrived. It was the least he could do.

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