Star Eater
Chapter Twenty

What was that about dying? Kai asked.

I don’t know, but if he tries to steal our star, I will destroy him, Akuma promised, his usually warm voice seething with aggression.

I don’t think he wanted the star, Kai said. I think he wants you. 

The strange encounter with Joseph had shaken both of them. Akuma kept insisting they go get something to eat for the star immediately. Kai was less inclined to disagree. It was all very weird, very unnerving timing.

Kai promised to call his mom and, failing that, agreed to break into the chem lab that night in search of a suitable star food. The school chemistry lab was better than most pharmaceutical labs, or so Mr. Rump claimed. And Kai just needed a star food more hydrogen-rich than ammonia.

But Akuma was too rattled for the task to be put off, so Kai tried his mom’s cell immediately. He was leaving a long message as another shadow crossed the table. Kai jumped, but found Link taking a seat across from him. Link waited until Kai finished his voicemail. When Kai clicked his phone off, Link asked,

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Kai replied. “Just my mom ignoring me for a week. No big deal.”

Link snorted. “Mine too, though I’d give anything for my dad to ignore me.”

“At least it shows he gives a shit,” Kai said softly, squashing the half-melted yogurt with his spoon.

There were a few seconds of heaviness and then Kai shook it off. He opened his bag and offered Link a bear claw. His friend grinned and tore into it like wolf pup.

“This is perfect,” he said, his mouth half full. Kai was still distracted so he didn't notice Link chewing with his mouth open. “I got my ass kicked in karate. This kid, like smaller than you, threw me across the room.”

Kai made a noncommittal noise and stood. Link followed him and they started walking towards the secret base.

“Mason said it happens to everyone but it was humiliating,” Link said. “No offense.”

Link’s comment sparked Kai’s memory. Mason Wright. He’d introduced himself yesterday. That’s where he’d heard the name before. This guy was related to Mason, who was also a daemon. They even looked the same.  

Which means Mason may have mentioned you touching him yesterday, Kai thought.

Mason was interested in you before I attacked him, Akuma pointed out.

The demon was right. Mason had focused in on Kai almost as soon as he walked up to them. Then Kai remembered the comment Mason made about Ava. As if he’d been looking into it. No, Mason had been prepared to meet Kai. He might even have used Link as an excuse—

“—ello! You in there?” Link waved a hand in front of Kai’s face. Kai pushed Link’s hand away.

“How was Mason today?” Kai asked.

“Uh, good,” Link said. “A lot less weird. I still think he has a crush on you.”

“Why, did he say anything?”

“He asked a few questions about you,” Link said. “Don’t worry, I told him if he wanted to get to know you, he should ask you himself.”

Kai imagined Mason’s sour face at that response. It would have been funny if not for Joseph’s visit earlier.

“What’s his last name again?” Kai asked.

“Wright,” Link said.

“I knew it was familiar,” Kai said.

Link snorted. “Yeah, that’s 'cause his dad was arrested for murder by the FBI earlier this week. You probably saw it all over the internet.”

Kai didn't mention that he hadn’t. He just blinked and thought about Ava. She’d been taken out of class. No wonder she’d been off lately. And he had thought it was because of him when really her home life was a mess.

I’m an idiot, Kai thought.

She’ll forgive you, Akuma said. It was the first, non-star-related comment he’d made in hours. We need to get away from Link and focus on the star, he said, getting right back on track. Kai, it’s important.

“—don’t know how he’s dealing with it,” Link was saying. “Doesn’t say a thing at practice, never cracks that mask of his. And no one has the balls to ask him, you know? This kid Harry said he’d texted Mason that day and never gotten a response. Of course, it’s all they can talk about in the locker room after he’s left.”

Which inspired an idea in Kai. Spying can go both ways, Kai thought.

“Link, I changed my mind,” Kai said. “Will you find out more about Mason for me? Is that okay?”

Surprise crossed his face, but then Link grinned.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” he said. “I mean, he’s a little, you know, fierce, but can’t deny the dude’s good looking.”

All Kai could think was, I’m living in a karmic fun house where my crush thinks I’m interested in the boy who’s stalking me for his daemon uncle.

They arrived at the secret base. Inside, Kai flopped on the couch. He was aware of Akuma’s anxiety and thought he might need to cut the visit short. Link was perusing the drying photos on the line.

“These are really good,” he said.

The comment caused a wave of pleasure to wash over Kai. He’d never shown his photographs to anyone before. It was nice to think they had artistic value. Akuma grumbled that this wasn’t important right now, and Kai shushed him.

“Is this from the roof of the yogurt shop?” Link asked, gesturing at a line of photos. Kai nodded. “You’ll have to take me up there some time.”

Kai blushed thinking of his fantasy from earlier.

“Is this your dad?” Link asked, pointing to one specific photo. Kai didn't need to know which picture he was pointing to. It was the picture of his dad from the principal’s office. Kai nodded. “He’s uh…” Link subsided, trying to pick a nice word.

“That’s the look he gives me,” Kai said softly, “when he remembers I have a disability.”

Blanching, Link couldn't imagine his dad looking at him like that. When his dad looked at him, even when he did dumb stuff, there was usually anger, but Link could handle anger. Kai’s dad showed a veneer of shame and pity while seeming to repel away from the picture taker.

Link decided to change the subject.

“You know,” Link said, turning around, “you’ve never fallen asleep on me. And you go out and do everything on your own. You went to karate with no problem. I mean… is it really so bad?”

Kai shrugged and Link walked over to the couch. The rusty springs groaned as he sat next to Kai.

“It can be,” Kai admitted. Akuma huffed internally, but Kai ignored him.

Sitting on the couch, they were quiet for a moment. Link was staring into nothing when he swore he saw Kai’s shadow move. Must be the poor lighting, Link thought, glancing up. The two portable lights Kai had hooked into the ceiling shook lightly as someone down the lane opened their storage locker. Link decided that must be the source and turned back to the conversation.

Kai had started talking. “—sleepwalk a lot. I wake up in places I have no memory of getting there. It was worse when I was a kid. My parents used to get phone calls every other morning or in the middle of the night from the police and from neighbors.”

“Christ, couldn’t they like lock you in?” Link paused. “That sounds awful now that I hear it out loud.”

“It didn’t work,” Kai said with a tiny smile. “Apparently, I am an expert at breaking out of places while unconscious.”

“Wow,” Link’s beautiful green eyes widened. Kai checked his face. He didn't want pity. But Link was more curious than anything. Then, because he had never spoken to anyone about it and Kai realized he wanted to, he went on.

“Then this one time, I woke up in a jewelry store,” Kai said. “I didn't steal anything,” he added quickly. “I just woke up on top of one of the displays when the morning crew came in.” Kai neglected to mention he hadn’t set off any of the alarms. “It was kinda a huge deal. That year, my parents took me from doctor to doctor, hospital to hospital, trying to cure me or get control of it.”

“What happened?” Link asked.

Kai hesitated. Sharing this was hard. He had successfully compartmentalized most of his life. His parents stayed in their separate boxes. His housekeeper had one too. His secret base, his school life, Ava. Link was the first person who’d ever crossed any of these neat, delineated lines that Kai put around everything. It was thrilling and terrifying to feel this vulnerable.  

He checked Link’s face again, but there was an openness Kai decided to trust. “They put me on serious drugs to suppress it. For a while, it stopped.”

Evil, Akuma thought. The demon’s rage surfaced every time Kai thought of those memories. It was one of the reasons Akuma was so overprotective of Kai. The drugs had worked. They regulated his sleep schedule, they prevented him from sleepwalking. The worst part though, the drugs had cut off contact with Akuma. The chemicals messed with Kai’s brain in a way that suppressed the demon’s ability to speak with Kai or manipulate his body. Kai had become a container for the demon. The drugs became both their prison guard.

“But…” Link prompted.

Kai shivered to remember that time. It was a year of hell. He’d been in such a sedated state that most days, he couldn't function without help. He couldn’t go to the bathroom by himself, couldn’t feed himself. And he couldn't communicate with his best friend. He could feel the demon inside of him; he could even see it in his shadow. Akuma had been helpless too.

“They said it took time for my body to get used to the drugs, to find the right balance. When the doctors were sure I wasn’t able to sleepwalk anymore, they sent me home. They reassured my parents that I would acclimate.”

“But you didn’t,” Link guessed.

“I did,” Kai admitted. “To a degree. When I became aware that the drugs were hurting me, I pretended to take them. Then I pretended to be a good kid. I did well with the tutor they hired. I learned how to hide the sleepwalking, which is why I have this place,” Kai said gesturing. Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ (ꜰind)ɴʘvel.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“The clothes, the fridge,” Link said, glancing about. “This is for when you wake up in other places, isn’t it?”

Kai nodded. “Eventually, I guilted my mom into letting me go to a real school. She thought all the problems with me were over, plus my dad wanted to send me away.”

Link cocked his head.

“My parents hate each other now,” Kai said. “I think allowing me to go to school was more of a shot at my father than anything else. And here we are. My parents think I fall asleep at school because of the drugs. Since my mom is never around to check,” Kai said, he lifted his phone, “and she rarely answers my calls or texts anymore… Dad likes to pretend there’s no problem at all, by forgetting I exist.”

Kai pointed to the picture hanging. “That’s the face he makes when he remembers his son is alive and broken. I have an album full of those faces.”

Neither of them spoke for a while. Belatedly, Kai realized that maybe Link didn't want to know all of this, his sad backstory. And that’s when Kai realized that in the fantasy he always made up for Ava, where she was a badass anime girl, he was just a one-shot side character with a tragic past.

You are way more than that, Akuma said. You are a boy with a universe inside of him.

These words made Kai smile, but then he looked around his secret base, the place that had filled him with pride and provided comfort, and he was suddenly angry. He was angry at his folks for making him do this. He was pissed that he had to hide his very being because they didn't want to deal with any of it. And he was ashamed that his life was so messed up.

A jingle broke the silence and Link glanced at his screen. He sighed.

“My dad,” he said, gesturing with the phone. He stared at the message before clicking it off and ignoring it. “Sometimes…” Link inhaled deeply. “Sometimes it’s like my dad looks at me and all he sees is a stereotype. A thug. It’s like he’s put me into the category that every prejudiced White person does and…” Link shook his head.

“Living with my mom, it was tough. I wasn’t Black enough for some people. Growing up, there were rough days and I got into some scrapes. Eventually, I found a community at our church and with Jeff. I had carved out a place.

“Living with my dad, I get these looks when we go out. Like grocery shopping,” Link said, frustration brimming his voice. “People look at me and my dad and try to figure us out. I can see in their faces as they assume I’m a charity case or something. It never occurs to them that I’m his son. And he doesn’t do anything to dispel that. He’s always yelling at me, even in public. Always telling me I’m not disciplined enough or that I need to shape up.”

“Like you're an embarrassment,” Kai said.

Link met Kai’s eyes and nodded, a swirl of emotions running through them.

“You’re biracial too, right?” Link said softly. He had suspected Kai was but seeing the picture of his dad confirmed it. Mr. Davault was all sharp, beautiful features, flawless toffee skin and blue-black hair. He could have been a model.

In contrast, Kai’s eyes were a little rounder. There was a light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks. His hair was closer to dark brown than black. Where Mr. Davault seemed lithe and delicate, Kai was small but incredibly graceful in his musculature. They both shared a seemingly endless juvenescence.

Kai shrugged. “My disability was far more embarrassing than my lineage,” he said. “My mom’s French and my dad’s Japanese and we live in America. No matter what it’s strange. But I do remember my grandmother screaming at me when I was a toddler, calling me ‘gaijin’ and other shit like that. It means ‘foreigner’,” Kai clarified at Link’s blank expression. “Truth is, I didn't have a lot of play dates when we got to L.A. because of my issue. And after the jewelry store incident, I didn't have any. ”

“Parents suck,” Link said, staring off into space.

His expression could have made a Botticelli angel cry, with its torn emotions and bleak longing. Kai wasn’t sure if he was longing for his other home, his dad to accept him as he was, or something intangible that Kai couldn't even guess at. He picked up his camera and hit the release button. Link turned at the sound of the shutter and the broken look melted into a small smile.

“I don't have a fancy camera, but I got this.” He took a picture of Kai with his phone. Then tried to view it. Kai peeked over his hands and saw static.

“Aw man,” Link said. “The camera must be broken or something.” Kai hid a smile. “This phone is new, too.” 

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