Devon felt immediately suspicious of the sound in his mother’s voice. He glanced at Seach, who suddenly took an interest in the left wall, his expression closed. What more was there to tell, he wondered. His parents were deserters, tapped soldiers, and the Consulate was going to come after them. Wasn’t that enough? Why did there have to be more?

He thought of the smuggler caches and the weapons built into Zephyr and frowned.

Maybe they were pirates after all.

He couldn’t blame them, of course. Piracy seemed a far better alternative to becoming a Grey Man. He shuddered, trying to imagine what it would be like to not be in control of his own body.

“About twenty years ago we took on a set of passengers,” Jorry said, dragging him back into the conversation. “They were good people. Very kind. They wanted passage to Mars and at the time we needed the money.”

Devon cocked his eyebrow at this but stayed silent. His parents looked very uncomfortable. Seach stood stock still, his arms crossed so tight Devon could see the bulge of muscles straining under his jacket. Jorry wouldn’t look at him, just kept her gaze on the floor as she spoke.

What the hell?

“It should have been easy,” Jorry’s voice was suddenly quiet. A look of something like remorse or guilt filled her face, Devon couldn’t decide which. “They didn’t tell us who they were but we knew they were on the run. We were on the run too, after all. It’s easy to spot the signs once you know what to look for.”

“It turned out that they were Offenders who had escaped Gliese,” Seach took over the story. His tone was solemn and Devon just listened, the hair on the back of his neck beginning to prickle. “They were arrested and we barely made it out of there before the agent could focus on Zephyr.”

None of this made any sense. Why would Offenders from twenty years ago have any bearing on them today? Why were they telling him this?

“But they left something behind, something they didn’t want the Consulate to touch,” Jorry said, finally meeting his eyes. “Their son. A baby no more than three months old. A perfect little boy … and we … we chose …”

It hit him like a two-ton crate.

“You kept him,” Devon said, his voice strangled. Anger, shock, and pain shot through him all at once. “I’m … I’m not your real son.”

“No, Devon,” Jorry said, panic edging into her voice. “You are my son in every way that counts. I love you.”

“We love you,” Seach corrected her.

“But you’re not my real parents.”

Anger overwhelmed his shock and he glared at them. What kind of people lied about something like this? He could maybe understand when he was younger but they could have told him. No, they should have told him. To hell with the coming of age laws, he deserved to know who he was.

“That depends on your definition of a parent,” Jorry said and she sounded cautious, like she was afraid of him. “We’ve raised you. We’ve taught you. We would sacrifice anything for your happiness …”

“But you didn’t give birth to me!” His voice rose, echoing through the little medical room.

Jorry flinched and looked away from him, averting her face. But Devon saw the emotion there, saw the pain he had caused and for one second he was glad of it.

Let her hurt, he thought. Let her share my pain.

He felt betrayed. He felt lost. He wanted to hit something.

“What happened to my real parents?” He demanded, shoving himself to his feet because he couldn’t sit anymore.

Jorry closed her eyes but answered him. “Your father was executed. We thought your mother had been too but … Mr. Kelly knows her.”

He rocked back on his heels. So not only his parents knew but Paul too? Did that mean Kenzie knew? Was he the only idiot on board this ship who didn’t know?

He paced to the door and stopped, running his hands through his hair. So his real mother was alive, but hadn’t tried to find him. Or maybe she had tried to find him and failed. Zephyr was constantly moving, after all.

Offenders, he thought; he was the abandoned son of religious offenders. What exactly did that make him?

He suddenly remembered the look on Seach’s face when the passengers had come on board, the pain and hesitance as Devon had asked for the truth. He’d been so sure that nothing they had to say could change what existed between them. He felt his stomach lock up and a strange sense of loss settled in his chest.

“You were right,” he said, looking to Seach. His father met his gaze and held it, expressionless. “Everything has changed.”

Not knowing what else to do he turned and walked from the room. He made his way through familiar corridors in a daze, memories flaunting through him as he passed. He glanced at Seach’s room, its door shut but he knew it well. The sink was right by the door, just to the left of the bed and he remembered the day Seach taught him how to shave. Laser hair removal was painless but still irritating since it had to be done every couple of days.

He passed the central chamber, spotting the marks on the corner of one wall that dated his height and age. Jorry burnt them into the metal herself every year on his birthday. He swallowed, wondering if that was really his birthday or if it was just the day they’d chosen to celebrate it. For all he knew he had already come of age.

Devon stared at the numbers for a long minute, his chest tight with grief. The part of him that loved Jorry and Seach warred with the knowledge that he had a mother somewhere.

He’d been abandoned. Oh, God, he’d been abandoned. And for what, he thought; religion?

Why? Why would anyone give up their freedom, their life, for a religion? It made no sense.

He stopped just outside his room. He stared at it, at the computerized walls flicking through random schematics and his currently stored bed.

Home, he thought. This was home.

But did he have a right to call it that?

He crouched in the doorway, too overwhelmed to go inside.

So this was the secret his parents – his pretend parents – had been dreading. He could understand now. He saw why they hugged him but never each other, why they passed on all passengers, and why all talk of religion was so tense. Devon closed his eyes and rubbed his face, suddenly wishing he’d never asked.

~*~*~

Jorry carefully slid off the medical table. Pain lanced through her body, reminding her that her taps weren’t done with the healing process yet. She groaned and held on to the side of the table, trying to convince herself that the physical pain could somehow drown out the ache of Devon’s departure. She glanced toward the doorway, hoping Devon had chosen to come back, but just as she’d known it would be it stood empty.

“That went well,” Seach said, staring at the door.

“As well as can be expected,” Jorry muttered and hissed as the muscles in her right calf cramped into a hard knot. “Give him time, Seach. He needs to digest the news.”

“I know, I just …” Seach sighed and turned to face her. She could see by his expression that he was hurt by Devon’s reaction, more hurt than he probably wanted her to know. His eyes skimmed over her form, narrowing into little golden slits as he took stock of the discoloration around each tap. “So how do you feel? Physically, I mean.”

She wasn’t certain if she was glad for the change of subject or terrified of the impending argument.

“Every inch of me is in agony,” she said with a wry smile. “But we anticipated this.”

“We anticipated moderate to severe pain with a twenty percent chance that your taps would melt into your body,” Seach said. His mouth tightened into a deep frown and he looked like he meant to say something more.

“We were out of options, Seach. What was I supposed to do? Hand over the girl?” She shook her head. “I did what was necessary.”

“You could have let me do it, Jo. It doesn’t always have to be you getting beat on.”

“Says the man with the broken nose,” Jorry scoffed.

“You know what I mean, Jo. You do not always have to be the one in the line of fire.”

“Of course I do, I’m the Captain.”

“Captains delegate sometimes.”

“Not when the crew is in danger …”

Seach struck the medical table with a fist, shocking her into silence.

Jorry watched him, stunned by the action. She could see the indentation of his knuckles in the steel surface of the table and flinched. That was going to cost money to replace. But now didn’t seem the time to run calculations or mention the additional financial burden, so she kept quiet.

He turned away from her and pushed a hand through his hair. His shoulders were tense and his left fist curled into a white-knuckled ball. She’d known he would be angry, but this was more than she’d bargained for. This was something else, something deeper, and she felt the pit of her stomach whirl in fear.

“We’re partners, Jo. You and me. We’ve been fighting beside each other for over thirty years,” he said. “And you still can’t look at me with any other regard than an officer to a subordinate.”

Jorry struggled for her voice. Her breath caught somewhere in her chest and for a long, aching moment she couldn’t find the words to respond.

“That’s not true,” she whispered.

He turned and met her gaze again. Just admitting it out loud, letting the truth of their relationship slip out into the moment felt like running a knife over her skin.

“It’s not?” Seach asked, his amber gaze fastened on her.

Her heart stuttered and she had to look away. It was there on the tip of her tongue; the confession she’d been fighting to give him, but she just couldn’t get the words out.

“We’re a family. You, me, and Devon,” she said instead.

His mouth contorted into a painful scowl and he turned away.

“You could have fooled me,” he said, sounding hoarse. “What with the way you just make decisions, completely ignoring anything I have to say. You don’t give a shit what I think about it all.”

“Of course I care,” Jorry said, earning herself a wry look.

“So when I asked you to get the passengers off the ship …”

“That’s not fair …”

“And when you leapt onto that table knowing full well that it could kill you …”

“Also not fair!” Jorry growled, cutting him off.

“To hell with fair, Jo! Do you think it would have been fair to me or Devon if we’d had to bury you?” Seach’s voice rose and he moved to stand just in front of her. His eyes glared down at her, scorching with their intensity. “You never think about anyone else, Jo. You’re always running off doing whatever the hell you please and be damned the consequences.”

“I was trying to save your life!”

“And if you had died, what life would I have had?”

Jorry faltered, blinking at him in terror as she realized what he was really saying.

He loved her. He truly loved her.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, too shocked to think of anything else.

“What?” He sounded surprised.

“I said I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right.”

It was his turn to look stunned. They stared at each other for a long minute, neither of them moving.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that,” Seach said with a small laugh.

She laughed too, grateful for the shift in mood.

“Don’t get used to it,” she said.

Her left leg cramped and she hissed, moving to stretch her calf muscle.

“Are you all right?” Seach asked.

He stepped close and took hold of her elbow to keep her balanced.

“I’ll be fine. Stupid calves are the hardest to get to relax.”

They were both quiet until the cramping eased and she could relax again. He kept hold of her, his grip lessening so that he could run his hand up her arm and to her shoulder. The disc in his palm warmed against her skin. She’d forgotten that she was only wearing her tank top. Her jacket wasn’t anywhere in sight, either. Not that she could look at anything other than Seach at that moment, but she didn’t remember seeing it.

She felt vulnerable and small next to him, and uncommonly safe. She hadn’t noticed it before, but she certainly did now.

“Do you know how long you were out?” Seach asked.

She shook her head, not trusting her voice.

“Forty seven hours and thirty two minutes,” Seach said.

“Two days?” She asked, shocked. “I’ve been in here for two days?”

“Yeah, just about.” He met her gaze then. “You had me worried, Jo.”

His fingers were warm and callous on her shoulder, his thumb gently rotating in a light caress. Not knowing what she was doing, she covered his hand with her own and leaned into him. She could see the circles under his eyes, evidence of how long he’d been standing guard at her bedside. Her stomach flipped at the thought of him there and she swallowed back a number of responses.

“It’ll take more than that to get rid of me,” she said, hoping to lighten his mood.

“Good,” he said with a half-smile. “Because I don’t want to do this without you.” Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the Find_Nøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

He leaned forward and she caught her breath again. She should stop him she thought. She didn’t deserve this sort of happiness, not while Relo was still a Grey Man. But she didn’t want to stop him. She wanted Seach, all of him, and for the first time in thirty years she resented Relo for his sacrifice. Because maybe if he were still with them things would be different, she would be allowed to close the distance, to settle her mouth on Seach and kiss him until they were both breathless and lost.

She felt Seach’s breath on her lips, his mouth hovering there like he was waiting for her to make the decision.

God dammit this was so unfair.

“Ahem,” a voice said.

They both jerked back, startled by the interruption.

Zoe stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and a wide smile on her face. She canted her head to the side, forcing her auburn braid to fall over one shoulder. Jorry imagined the girl would be tapping her foot if the magnetics in her boots allowed for such a thing.

“Devon said you were awake,” Zoe walked into the room, a nonchalant smirk on her face.

It appeared she had lost her timidity.

“Yes, it seems I am awake.”

Jorry watched as Zoe elbowed Seach aside. His hand slid off her shoulder, leaving her skin cold and exposed. Then Zoe grabbed her into a tight hug. Surprised, Jorry held back several choice words as the girl squeezed hard. Her still tender taps flared to agonizing life and she bit her lip to keep from groaning. Instead, Jorry awkwardly patted Zoe on the head and looked over at Seach, who was laughing quietly in the corner. She made a face at him, which only served to make him snort louder.

“Zoe has been very helpful while you’ve been resting,” Seach said, moving back to her side.

“Helping?”

Zoe released her and pulled back. “You overloaded the ship,” she said. “Seach says that happens a lot with jumps, but this time you really broke things. We’ve been putting her back together.”

Jorry felt her stomach knot.

No, not Zephyr.

“What exactly did I break?” Jorry asked. Her mind started listing off several systems, all the worst case scenarios playing themselves out in her head.

Oh, my poor Zephyr.

“Nothing that can’t be dealt with after another hour,” Seach said, pulling Zoe away and moving toward the door.

“Seach, what is wrong with my ship?” Jorry frowned, taking a step to follow them.

“Delegate, Jo. Give your body one more hour to recover.”

“But …”

“Don’t make me sedate you,” he said, and he sounded so serious that she immediately stopped moving.

Seach grinned and winked at her before ushering Zoe out of the room. The door closed behind them, leaving Jorry gaping after him. She was mostly certain he was bluffing, but it didn’t seem right to try him. Besides, if he came back now she might actually kiss him and then where would they be?

She turned and climbed back onto the medical table, her body protesting until she lay flat again. One hour, she thought, and then she would find out what had happened to her ship. She closed her eyes and forced her body to relax.

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