They were returning to Belize on the U.S.S. Reverence. The aircraft carrier was on calm seas. No whirlpools, no rouge waves, or surprising tsunamis. Everything was happening as if nothing ever did. Instead of it being the beginning of dystopia, it was very early Thursday morning.
Alexi was standing on deck with Jayde. Doctor Chalet and Cheauflux were looking at the jets.
“America is not what I expected,” Alexi said.
“You have to show me Russia, I only did a pit stop in your country, so I really don’t know anything about the Land Of Gulags,” Jayde said.
“I will take that as a kid. I believe you have more prisons than we have gulags,” he said.
“That’s all I know,” she said. “You’re going to have to teach me.”
“You are still in the Air Force,.” He said. “I will need longer than your leave to show you Russian culture.”
“I won’t be in the Air Force all of my life. It’s not even my primary career choice,” she said. “I’m going to explore the oceans, like Jacques Cousteau, and be a famous aqua-horticulturist.”
“Do you have the money to explore?” he asked.
“I just saved the world, and the president will know about it, if he doesn’t already. Do you think I’ll ever be strapped for cash?” she asked.
“This planet changes like I change socks. Save your denig (money),” Alexi advised.
“I’ll just add to my IRA, and my 401K,” she explained, and then she saw Alexi’s confusion. “I’ll just put more money in the bank.”
Alexi smiled, and nodded. He understood that.
The return was leisurely. It took longer to get back. Nobody cared. It felt more like a cruise. The soldiers played volleyball on deck. If they lost a ball through all the jets, and the width of the deck, it was meant to be sacrificed to the Water Gods.
Some of the more jock soldiers found some MOP Gear (Mission Oriented Protection) below decks, and wanted to play volleyball in it. That was like playing volleyball with a lead blanket and a clogged snorkel on. They called it playing in the “Twilight Zone”.
“Are they crazy?!” Jayde asked.
Alexi smiled. “They are not crazy, they are soldiers.”
“Hey, I’m also a soldier, but I don’t need to one-up another soldier,” she said.
“It is a guy thing, Jayde, you would not understand.” Alexi was still smiling.
“You want to go over there, don’t you?” she asked.
“I do not want to abandon my woman,” he said.
“I know you’re my bodyguard, but pirates can’t catch an aircraft carrier, and a dolphin isn’t going to bite my leg, go play,” she said.
“Is that an order Lieutenant?” he asked.
“Get out of here, Alexi,” Jayde shooed him.
“Thank you, Sweetheart,” Alexi said, and ran off to put on some MOP gear, so he could dominate.
It took around ten hours to reach Belize. With all the soldiers, natives, and scientists standing at the pier, it felt like a homecoming.
Everyone was clapping, and cheering. The soldiers on the Reverence departed, and went to their respective companies. Alexi, Cheauflux, and Jayde were met by a Secret Service detail.
“I am sorry about interrupting your return, soldiers, but President Logan requests your presence,” The Secret Service agent said.
“We have another emergency?!” Jayde was surprised. “We haven’t slept, but fine. Let’s go, Robin.”
“We are Secret Service, Lieutenant Farrow. We are on a need to know basis, and we didn’t need to know.”
“That’s fine. I’ll get some sleep on the plane. Don’t worry about Cheauflux. It can tele-migrate to Washington. I know you have no idea what tele-migration is. Just don’t volunteer to do it,” Jayde said.
So the passenger roster is two?” the Agent asked.
“Yes, tovarish, it is two.” Alexi chimed in.
Two agents escorted them to the back of the limousine drove to the air strip, and into a C-5. They got out, secured themselves, and headed for Washington, DC.
Jayde felt good being able to sleep on a Galaxy while in flight. They landed in a few hours.
Alexi woke her, and they all got back into the limousine and headed for the White House. They all got out near the rose garden, and went in the side entrance. They walked to the Oval Office. The same two marines greeted them. One of them went into the Oval Office to announce them. The Marine returned, and told them to go in.
Jayde had to prepare herself for her next challenge. She and Alexi walked in.
President Logan got up from his desk, immediately, walked over to them, and began to shake their hands.
“Thank you, soldiers, for averting Armageddon! FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) is already there, cleaning up! I heard that thing fell off the page of a horror novel!” Logan said, with a smile.
“Y-you’re welcome, Mister President.” Jayde was taken aback. “That monster was just that, a monster. What is our next assignment, Mister President?”
“Your next assignment is to go and buy an elegant dress, Lieutenant Farrow, and get Sergeant Doshmononov a tuxedo. You have a gala honoring your bravery! And get a dress with sequins. Those things accent the Medal of Honor rather well.” Logan was smiling.
“You mean, I don’t have to stop a dictator, or protect a pipeline?” she asked.
“The only warrior you have to joust with is the dress salesperson, Lieutenant,” Logan said. “The gala’s tomorrow at eight, or should I say 2000 hours?”
“I don’t know any dress shops in Washington, Mister President,” she said.
“You scientists love to throw in a glitch,” Logan said. “Don’t worry, Lieutenant. My wife, Nattie, knows where all the primo dress shops are, and if you’ve seen her appearances, trust me, she knows...”
Jayde smiled at him. She never thought she was going shopping with the first lady when she woke up from her plane ride!
“Are you Dole Conservative, or Elton John flamboyant, Alexi?” Logan asked.
“I like to look presentable, Mister President, not sparkly,” Alexi said.
“Tell my wife to go to Pierre’s for his tuxedo. I’ll get my tailors to measure him, and send over his size momentarily,” Logan said.
As if on cue, Logan’s tailors entered the Oval Office, and greeted Alexi.
“I think I might need my other tape measure, you’re big!” the head tailor said.
“I-I work out,” Alexi said.
“Well, you didn’t get those muscles surfing the web, silly!” the Tailor said. “Well, let’s go to my fitting room.”
The tailor took Alexi out of the Oval Office.
“D’artagnan can fit you like a glove,” Logan said. “Doshmononov is in good hands.”
“This sounds big, Mister President,” Jayde said.
“That beast you put to sleep sounded big, too,” Logan said. “Okay, Lieutenant, war story time. How’d you drop that thing, when two Howitzers didn’t even draw its attention?”
“I beat it with science, Mister President,” she began. “The Chauzek was impenetrable. We used Hellfires, Sidewinders, .50 Cals, .60 Cals, grenades, nothing damaged it. We even crashed a tanker filled with poison, strapped with enough C-4 to blow a blue whale to blubber chunks into it, but it kept coming.”
“We should’ve went nuclear,” Logan was amazed.
“A MOAB (Mother Of All Bombs) couldn’t do it, and a hydrogen bomb would just put a radioactive hole in Naples. It would have kept coming.
Luckily, I realized, the external couldn’t be scathed, so I went for the internal.I had a TOW Operator shoot a poison missile down its throat. Dropped it like a whiskey overdose,” she said.
“No offense, Lieutenant Farrow, but I’m glad you’re a nerd,” Logan said.
“None taken, Mister President. I’m a proud nerd,” she smiled at him.
The first lady walked in. “So, this is Wonder Woman?” She looked at Jayde.
“Good day, Misses Logan,” Jayde said.
“Call me Nattie, Lieutenant Farrow. I get extremely tired of all that formal crap,” Nattie said.
I am so glad you said exactly what I was thinking. Call me Jayde,” she said.
“I get enough of ‘Misses Logan’ from all those political functions. We’re going dress shopping, Girlfriend. You have to tell me what you like without all that formal rigmarole,” Nattie said. “Are we ready, Jayde?”
“Could you pick up Doshmononov’s tuxedo, Dear?” Logan asked.
“You want some beer and hotdogs too, Honey?” she asked him, sarcastically.
“Stop playing around, Babe. You know I don’t drink, or eat swine,” Logan said.
“I know, Sweetness. I’ll get you some O’Douls, and some beef Ballparks.” She smiled at him.
“Look, I know this is ’girl’s time’ but I have meetings. The country isn’t going to run itself. I’ll call in Doshmononov’s size to Pierre’s, and just pick it up, could you?” Logan threw in a sympathetic look.
“That’s not fair! You put that puppy dog face on ten years ago, and I married you! You’re dirty, Sydney!” she exclaimed.
“You’re the only person I can’t beat in a debate without a secret weapon.” He smiled at her.
“Let’s go, Jayde, before I break Sydney,” Nattie said.
As Jayde and Nattie walked out, Sydney had one more thing to ask Jayde. “Where’s your alien friend, Jayde?”
Cheauflux phased through the wall. “I’m right here, Sydney Logan.”
“Cheauflux! What part did you play?” Logan asked.
“I just watched, Sydney Logan, the capture was all Lieutenant Farrow,” Cheauflux said.
“That’s a weird creature, Girl,” Nattie said, while walking out with Jayde.
“You don’t think like that once you get to know it,” Jayde said.
“Is that a he or a she?” Nattie asked.
“Yes.” Jayde smiled.
“All this military stuff keeps blowing my mind,” Nattie said.
“Just be lucky you didn’t have to battle the Chauzek. You’d make your therapist rich.” Jayde smiled.
Their outing was fruitful. Nattie showed Jayde all the hot spots. They went to a sauna for pampering, and after the relaxation, they went dress shopping.
Jayde was getting fitted and measured for an incredible dress. It was skin-tight, with gold sequins.
Her fitter asked her. “What’s that intoxicating smell you have on, Dear?”
“You can still smell that? I put it on three days ago, and was in a war. I’m surprised you caught a whiff. It’s called Shalini,” Jayde said.
“You have Shalini Parfums on?! We have it in stock here. Just opening it up to inhale the aroma is cause for termination!” her fitter said.
“I’m glad you can still smell it. It costs enough,” Jayde said. “That’s good, because I’m almost out of it.”
“Your dress will be ready, momentarily, Miss. I will fit it for you,” her fitter said.
“Thanks Sally, I’ll be sitting over here, enjoying the Handel on your speaker system.” Jayde sat next to Nattie.
“So, is that Russian hunk you boyfriend?” Nattie surprised Jayde.
“Wha... Alexi’s my bodyguard!” Jayde said, startled.
“I’m glad they don’t have to interrogate you in the Middle East, Girl. How long have you two been dating?” Nattie asked.
Jayde was embarrassed. “How did you know?”
“I’m bilingual, Girl, I know English, and I’m very fluent inbody language. When you two walked to the Oval Office, you were looking at him the same way I look at Sydney. Do your parents know?” Nattie kept interviewing Jayde.
“We haven’t even visited yet,” Jayde answered.
Nattie moved close to Jayde. “Let me tell you something. You have a good man. I don’t care if he’s blue, black, yellow, white, or purple. Don’t be anxious in front of your parents. Tell them you’ve found a catch.”
“But my daddy will be upset,” Jayde told her.
“Your daddy isn’t sleeping with him, you are. Why does he care who you like?” Nattie asked.
“He’s been fighting for civil rights all his life. Alexi doesn’t possess the proper melanin count,” Jayde said.
“I think you got it twisted, Girl. Civil rights is the right for all citizens to receive fair treatment in society, not the right to hate whitey. If your father fought for that, then he would be a hypocrite if he didn’t like your boyfriend because of the color of his skin.” Nattie dropped some knowledge on Jayde.
“You know Nattie, you’re right! I just saved the world, and I had a lot of help from the Rainbow Coalition. Daddy always wanted me to find a good man, and I found one who doesn’t wash windshields for change! He should be happy I found somebody. He bought me that Shalini for that exact purpose, and since I’m almost out. I think his mission was accomplished!” Jayde had her epiphany.
“It feels good to kick a chick out of the nest, and she flies, instead of hitting the ground, Jayde, you’re flying.” Nattie smiled.
“That’s why you’re a popular first lady, you make America think,” Jayde said.
“Well thank you, Miss Farrow,” Nattie said.
“You are very welcome, Misses Logan,” Jayde returned.
“Your dress is finished, Miss.” Sally interrupted their conversation.
“Go put it on, Girl, this is the reason I shop,” Nattie said.
Jayde got up, and went into the changing room. She had been in Air Force business attire, and battle dress uniforms so long, she had forgotten how pretty she looked in a dress.
She emerged from the changing room looking stunning.
“How do I look?” Jayde asked Nattie.
“I’m glad you’re not a spy for the other side, because you’d acquire all our secrets from all our agents, men and women alike, Miss Femme Fatale,” Nattie smiled.
Sally went to work, adjusting here, and tweaking there. When she was done, Jayde looked like a rare masterpiece.
“Thank you, Nattie, for making me feel like a woman again,” Jayde beamed.
“Sometimes, you have to gift wrap the gold,” Nattie smiled back.
Jayde took off her dress, and Sally put in a silk carrier. They went up to the counter, and Nattie told Sally to put it on the account.
“And put some of that Shalini on the account, too.” Nattie looked at Jayde’s surprised eyes. “You said you were running low, right?”
“That bottle costs about a thousand dollars, Nattie!” Jayde was stunned.
Nattie put a mock concerned look on her face. “That’s a lot. Do you think I can afford it? Being First Lady comes with fringe benefits.”
“Thank you, Nattie. Daddy gave me my first Shalini for graduating West Point,” Jayde said.
“You’ve kept that bottle that long!? Girl, you needed a refill. Call it your real Medal of Honor,” Nattie said.
This was turning into a special day, and she had another ‘special day’ coming up very soon.
They got in the limousine, and headed towards Pierre’s. They stepped out and Jacques, the owner, greeted them at the door.
“Nattie!” Jacques gave her a big hug. “Seednee ’as geeven me zee zize uv jour geezt.”
Nattie released from the hug. “Jacques, this is Jayde. Thank her, she saved the world, no joke. Our guest is her boyfriend, so treat him as you would treat Sydney.”
“I vill treet ’eem like a voreign deegnotaree,” Jacques said.
They went into Pierre’s and Jacques gave Nattie the tuxedo.
“Jou joost peek ut zee zhooze und zee ekzezoreez, und ’ee vill luuk golden,” Jacques said.
They picked out suspenders, silk socks, diamond cufflinks, and size twelve shoes.
Nattie unscrewed the top from a bottle of Loris Azzaro’s Chrome cologne, and held it under Jayde’s nose to let her smell.
“This is like Cool Water on steroids,” Nattie said.
Jayde sniffed the alluring, exotic aroma. “You’re trying to get me and him into bed, Nattie.”
“You just saved the world, girl. Is there any other point better?” Nattie asked.
Jayde smiled, and shook her head. Nattie threw in the Chrome with all the other accessories, paid for them, and was escorted back to the White House.
Jayde walked into the Oval office holding some packages. Alexi was sitting with President Logan and Cheauflux. He was regaling them with Spetsnaz war stories.
“Lieutenant Farrow, did you find an elegant dress?” Logan asked.
“Your wife is a fashionista, Mister President,” Jayde said.
“Nattie’s been wanting a girlfriend to shop with since I was elected, but the Secret Service hasn’t cleared anybody yet, and all her old girlfriends live out of town. I think you gave her a present, also. Did you get Alexi’s tux?” he asked.
She held up her package from Pierre’s.
“You need to break in those shoes, Alexi. I know you’ve been tough enough to single-handedly quash coups, but standing at a formal event for a few hours will even break down the Iron Grizzly,”Logan said.
“I know I have H.A.L.O. dived out of planes, but I will take your advice on the shoes, Mister President,” Alexi said.
“Call me Sydney, Alexi. It’s just us in the Oval Office. We don’t have to put on airs for each other,” Logan said.
“He means go formal, Alexi,” Jayde interjected, quickly.
Nattie walked behind her. “You don’t want him to look lost over here, do you?”
Jayde felt cornered for a second, and then Nattie let her off the hook by saying hi to her husband.
“Hi Hun. Is he giving you some soviet secrets?” she asked.
“Alexi, Cheauflux, and I are just shooting the crap. You had your girl time, we needed our guy time,” Logan said.
“That’s funny, Dear, according to Jayde, Cheauflux is playing for both teams,” Nattie said.
“So that means it has been putting up with his own crap since it existed,” he said, with a bit of snark.
“If you’re not careful, Sydney, I won’t show you the unmentionables I got from Chanels,” she said to him.
After a bit of uncomfortable silence, Jayde spoke.
“I believe Alexi wants to try on his tuxedo,” she broke the silence.
“Da, da. I would like to see if it fits,” Alexi spoke up.
“D’artagnan measured you, and Jacques picked out the tux, it fits,” Logan said, then Nattie looked at him. “But if you want to see what you look like in it, be my guest.”
“Take Alexi to the guest room down the hall, Jayde. The marine will show you,” Nattie said.
The marine heard her, stood at attention, and waited for the two.
Alexi stood and began to take the packages.
“I brought these things all the way from the limo, and they haven’t broken my back yet. I think I can manage, Alexi,” Jayde was slightly perturbed.
“Let your bodyguard do his job, Girl!” Nattie said. “Stop being a feminist!”
“Fine, Nattie. Here, Alexi.” She shoved the packages in his chest.
Alex wondered why she was so angry. He was a great soldier, however, in this scenario, he was a man. Scholars couldn’t explain a woman’s habits.
They walked with the marine to the guest room. They walked in, and felt the relief of privacy.
“How does your dress look?” Alexi asked.
“If I can hold my breath for the entire function, and not eat until it, I think I can pull it off,” Jayde said. “I’ve already read that book before, I want to see what you look like.”
“So, we are good?” Alexi asked. He was still concerned about the package thrusting.
“You mean when I, gruffly, handed you the parcels? Don’t sweat that. You know I’m a stubborn woman,” she said. “Look, put on your tuxedo, and I’ll squeeze into my dress, and we can give each other a fashion show.”
Alexi was relived she wasn’t angry, and let Jayde separate the packages. He went into the changing room, and Jayde went into the rest room. With a lot of adjustments, they both entered the bedroom.
“You’re looking kind of studly there, Bolshevik Bond,” Jayde said.
“You make Zoe Saldana nervous,” Alexi smiled.
She looked at him with a smile. “Fresh.”
“President Logan... Sydney was right, I need to break in these Stacey Adams.”
“Go on a White House tour with them. That should make them comfortable,” she suggested.
“I need to know of your George Washington anyway. I heard he was a popular president who did not like cherry trees,” Alexi said.
“Well I saw Gorbachev, and he had a country on his head. What, too soon?” Jayde countered. “You’re in America, Dear. Don’t talk about our presidents.”
“I just spoke about your first one, and his dislike for cherries,” Alexi explained.
“Well, when you speak about one of our star players of the home team, when you’re, literally, in our house, it sounds kind of rude,” she said.
“I am sorry. I meant nothing by it,” Alexi apologized.
“We get kind of touchy around here, and I’m being nice. Better to hear it from your girlfriend, than some tour guide interning for college credits,” she said. “Besides, the cherry tree chopping is a myth anyway.”
It always felt good to him to hear her say she was his girlfriend. All petty squabbles were wiped away.
“Oh, I got you one more thing. Well, Nattie bought it for you as a thanks for helping.” She reached into the Pierre’s package, and pulled out the cologne. “It’s called Chrome. It’s my Kryptonite, wait, you probably don’t know about American comics. It’s my weakness.”
“I know who Clark is. I was a teenager also,” Alexi clarified.
She dabbed it on his wrist, and put it up to his nose.
“It smells good,” he said.
“Good? That cologne is erotic steroids!” she claimed.
“For you, my weakness is what you wear,” he said.
“Well, I guess when you put this one on, we’ll be alluringly copacetic. I got my Shalini as an accessory with my dress,” she said.
“That reminds me, are we going to see your parents?” Alexi asked.
“We’ll go to Granville in New York when this ceremony is over. Let’s tackle one problem at a time,” she said.
“I am going to play billiards with your father,” Alexi smiled.
“How did you know Daddy has a pool table in the basement?” she asked.
“I did not know that. I hope he has practiced, because it would feel strange to beat my girlfriend’s father in his own house,” he touted.
“I know you’re Spetsnaz, and you don’t like to lose. But if you go against Daddy in his own house? You’ll be embarrassed,” she smiled.
“I have not met your father yet, but the gauntlet has been thrown at my feet before I have even said ‘Hello, Mister Farrow’.” Alexi’s competitive gene woke up. “I am going to go on tour. I will see you later.”
“Put your BDUs back on. I don’t want to knock out a college teenybopper for trying to snag you,” Jayde joked with an ounce of seriousness.
“I can resist terrorists. A college student will be effortless, but I will put back on my BDUs
... for you.” Alexi went into the changing room.
There was much bustle going on at the White House over the next few days. They were getting ready for the function. They had to get caterers, wait staff, organizers, and sanitation. They went with filet mignon, lobster, svitanak (Russian style chicken), and Russian standard vodka from Saint Petersburg. They wanted Alexi to feel comfortable.
Jayde decided to peruse the White House. She saw all the portraits of all the presidents, and their wives, including the present one. It was like visiting a historical museum. She and Alexi took strolls through the common areas.
There was a little kid on one of the tours. She pointed at Jayde, and asked her mother. “Is that Wonder Woman, mommy?”
“Her name is Lieutenant Farrow, Honey, and stop pointing. Yes, she beat that big bad monster,” her mother said.
“I have never seen a Nubian Princess turn red, before,” Alexi smiled, and whispered to Jayde.
Jayde had a bashful grin. “Shut up, Alexi. I didn’t beat that Chauzek for fame.”
“And yet even with military elusiveness, fame still found you,” he said.
This was a new, odd feeling for Jayde. She went above and beyond, and gained fans in a week! She wasn’t a celebrity, she was a soldier. Her SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) manual didn’t cover illustriousness.
“Hey, you were there too, Buster!” she vociferated in a quiet way.
“Yes, but I did not knock it out, Wonder Woman,” Alexi answered with a grin.
She immediately punched him in the arm. “That’s not my name, Spetsnaz!”
“Yet, it follows you around, like a hungry wolf, and you have many rabbits, Wonder Woman.” Alexi’s smile didn’t dissipate.
“You’re going to stop playing with me, Alexi. I can hold something hostage from you, until you act right,” she said.
Alexi knew what she was talking about. “I am sorry, Jayde. You do not have to send fingers, toes, Vagasil, and Massengill in the mail.”
“At least we understand each other.” She said.
Jayde had a good time giving Alexi a history lesson. He was a hungry student, so she didn’t bore him. Everything she taught him, he soaked up like a sponge. She was running out of political worms, while her chick’s mouth was still open.
“I know Russia’s curriculum doesn’t have a slew of American history, but I’m not a professor,” she admitted when she ran out of events from the past.
“You mean every American knows that?” he asked.
“Every American officer who graduated from West Point knows that,” she corrected him.
“I guess I should have known, after that peptide lesson, and the way you found how to knock out that Chauzek, you are a smart woman,” he realized.
“I know what’s important to me. If you’d ask me to break down an AK-47, I’d babble like an idiot,” she admitted.
“That is easy. I know how to break down an AK-47,” Alexi said.
“That’s because you’re interested in it,” she said. “Don’t think I’m a Poindexter, I just like amino acids over assault rifles.”
Alexi realized she was a humble woman. No matter the amazement, she would explain it away. She didn’t want idolization. Being a role model wasn’t her job.
They kept looking at all the artifacts in the White House, and Jayde silently critiqued the tour interns. It was their job, not their passion.
It was getting late, so they both went back to their room. Jayde turned on the television, and Gold digger Scavenger Hunt was on.
“This is American television?” Alexi asked.
“I was looking for the news. This programming is drivel,” Jayde turned the channel.
“No, switch that back! That was interesting,” Alexi stopped her.
“If you think this is interesting, you need to watch the Jack Shorington Show,” Jayde said. “That show is filled with incest, transgender sex, cheating, paternity suits, and betrayal, just your speed.”
“Well, you know about it, so you must watch it too,” he said.
“I leave my brain in the closet every once in a while,” she defended herself. “Sometimes, I like to go on vacation from thinking.”
Alexi sat on the bed to watch the reality show. Jayde went into the rest room and took a shower.
She put on some unmentionables she got from Chanel’s. They were frilly and tiny. She also hoped they would be temporary. She walked out with an alluring nightie on.
“You done with them gold-diggers?” she asked him.
Alexi turned his head to look at her. He blindly felt for the remote control, because he couldn’t break his gaze with Jayde.
“I-I think I am done,” he stammered.
Jayde, slowly walked over to the other side of the bed, grabbed the remote he fruitlessly pawed for, and turned off the television.
“You have some silk boxer-briefs from Pierre’s in your package. I’m sorry, I forgot pajamas. I guess you’ll just have to wear those to bed all by themselves,” Jayde said, with a bewitching voice.
Alexi looked like a kid in a candy store. He popped up to go to the changing room.
He kept up his ogling of Jayde, pointed at the changing room, and asked. “They are in my package?”
“If you can’t find them, just come to bed in your birthday suit,” she suggested.
That was when he stopped, dead in his tracks, and smiled at her. “You are trying to get me in trouble.”
“Getting you in trouble is my mission, Spetsnaz,” Jayde said.
“I will one-up you, tomorrow. I am the soldier who does that,” he said, and went to get his boxer-briefs.
They had a day of preparation. They had to get ready for the function. Dignitaries from many nations were going to be there. This was global, not just American. Jayde was getting nervous,
“Is my hair straight, Nattie?” she asked the first lady.
“Everything’s in place, Girl. Stop getting anxious,” Nattie told her.
“I’ve never been around this many foreign dignitaries before! I’m a bit out of sorts,” Jayde admitted.
“Just think about all of them using the toilet. After you stop laughing in your mind, you’ll come to the conclusion I came up with years ago; people are people.” Nattie tried to settle her jumpiness.
“I do that when I’m teaching a class of scientists. That works on foreign dignitaries?” Jayde asked.
“It works on anybody, Honey. Remember, they put on their clothes the same way you do,” Nattie said. “You’re going to have those same women being jealous of you, and those same men wanting to jump your bones.”
“So, you think I look presentable?” Jayde asked.
“Presentable?” You’re the Queen of Understatements, Girlfriend. You have that Halle Berry vibe happening, you’re wearing Vera Wang for your dress, and Marc Jacobs for your designer shoes. You look like royalty,” Nattie complemented her.
“Thanks, Nattie, you make me feel better. I grew up with all brothers, and instead of tea parties, I was watching them play pick-up games on the basketball court,” Jayde said.
“You probably beat them sometimes, too. You’re rough around the edges, that’s why frilly is so uncomfortable for you,” Nattie realized. “Don’t worry, Girl, when Alexi sees you, his jaw is going to H.A.L.O. dive.”
They finished primping, and found their men waiting for them.
“D’artagnan and Jacques turned you into a lady killer, Alexi, you’re all debonair,” Sydney said.
“Thank you, Mister Log... Sydney, you were the one to make this possible,” Alexi said.
“You can’t get past that formal stuff, can you?” Logan asked.
“I have been trained to respect authority. You must forgive me,” Alexi apologized.
“I can’t be angry with a soldier who is trained to respect authority. That would make me an ass. I don’t like to look like an ass,” Logan said.
“Spasibo, Sydney.” Alexi thanked Logan.
Logan saw how dashing Alexi looked, and decided to reveal what he knew. “I’m going to keep all those ladies away from you during the function. I don’t think your girlfriend would want those desperate skanks to hang all over you.”
Alexi had the surprise. “How did you know?!”
“Nattie told me last night. The girls spoke, and Nattie can pry a pearl out of a clam with her fingers. You didn’t have any tells,” Logan answered the unasked question. This time, Alexi had a big tell.
“And you are not angry with me that I am courting one of your officers?” Alexi asked.
“If it were 1980, I’d be very upset, but it’s not cold now. That’s not my daughter. I don’t want to kill you. By the way, have you met her parents yet?” Logan was concerned.
“We are going to visit them after the awards ceremony,” Alexi revealed.
Logan wanted to help. “Before you leave, I’m going to tell you about some gladiators called the New York Giants. If you know them, at least your foot will be in the door.”
“Spacibo for the assistance, Sydney. That is a team in American football, right?” Alexi asked.
Logan put his hand on Alexi’s shoulder. “Oh, you poor man. We have a lot of work to do.”
A female butler entered. “Gentlemen, your ladies are in waiting.”
President Logan and Alexi stood and straightened themselves. Nattie and Jayde walked out. It almost looked as if they were going to a debutante cotillion.
“Damn, you look stunning, Nattie,” Logan said.
“You look amazing also, Jayde,” Alexi said.
Nattie smiled at her dashing husband. “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed either, Stud.”
Jayde looked at Alexi, and deduced the obvious. “Thank you, Alexi, they both know.”
“You couldn’t disguise that, Lieutenant Farrow,” Logan said.
“I guess you’re a smarter president than the previous one,” Jayde smiled at him.
“He just has a smart woman kicking him on a regular basis,” Nattie interjected.
“Well, Lieutenant Farrow, I’m smart enough to know not to argue with the first lady.” Logan smiled. “Time to go visit some dignitaries. Shall we begin?”
They all left the White House, got into a limousine, and went to the function.
They got out of the limousine and were engulfed with stupendous fanfare. Logan and his wife waved. They were used to the public admiration, Alexi and Jayde weren’t. They waved, uncomfortably.
“The President and the First Lady have arrived with Wonder Woman, and her Bolshevik sidekick. We will have more news of the ceremony, and we will have live coverage of Wonder Woman receiving the Medal of Honor. Stay tuned to Eyewitness News,’ a reporter spoke to a camera.
“They’re calling me Wonder Woman, Nattie,” Jayde whispered to Nattie.
“Get used to it, Girl, it’ll be a trivia question in twenty years,” Nattie whispered back.
They entered, and went to the front, to the stage. The waiters seated them, and began with the wine list.
They had Chateau Lafite 1869, Chateau Mounton-Rothchild 1945, Penfold Grange Hermitage 1951, and Romancee Cont, DRC 1990. The most expensive bottle on the list was the Chateau Lafite, at $232,693!
They ordered, and Alexi got the Russian vodka. Logan was happy he’d requested the vodka.
The maitre d’s were replaced by the wait staff. They took everyone’s orders, and went into the cuisine galley.
Jayde and the president had filet mignon, Nattie had lobster, and Alexi had the Russian chicken. They finished their meals, and President Logan stood up, went to the podium, and began the ceremony.
“Everyone, thank you for coming to our medal ceremony. We are honoring an exceptional soldier. She stopped a violent alien force from destroying this planet. There was much military help, however this was the amazing soldier who augmented their deadly results with courage, and valor. Lieutenant Farrow deserves more than a medal. She deserves your gratitude,” President Logan said. “Lieutenant Jayde Farrow, could you, please, join me at the podium?”
This was it. Jayde stood, and walked to the podium. She stood at attention, while a fellow Air Force officer stood next to President Logan, displaying the Medal of Honor.
“Lieutenant Jayde Farrow performed above and beyond the call of duty. After the military used everything in its arsenal to defeat the alien threat with no results, Lieutenant Farrow used her skills and mind to defeat the alien, saving the residents of Naples Florida, the United States, and the entire world. Her unwavering courage, and steadfast devotion to the planet Earth, in the face of certain death, reflected enormous credit upon herself, and the Unites States Air Force.”
At that point, Jayde turned her back to Logan, and the Air Force officer gave the president the medal. President Logan adorned Jayde with the medal by placing it around her neck. Then he walked in front of her, and shook her hand.
“It’s not illegal to smile, Lieutenant Farrow,” Logan grinned, which Jayde returned in kind.
Everyone began clapping, including President Logan. Jayde felt like a celebrity. From now on, she had to get used to the accolades. The president turned back to the podium.
“We would like to thank you all for coming to this ceremony tonight,” Logan began. “We are grateful for Lieutenant Farrow, we are grateful for Generals Slaydon, Harper, and Sergeant Doshmononov, a Soviet Spetsnaz bodyguard that kept Lieutenant Farrow safe, and all the men and women of the United States Military who fought beside Lieutenant Farrow that fateful day. I hope you were inspired by this ceremony this evening. Again, thank you, and God bless you,” Logan concluded the ceremony. Jayde sat back down, and President Logan followed.
“Do you feel like Big Man on Campus, Dear?” Nattie asked.
“It’s Big Woman on Campus this evening, dear,” Logan said.
“How does it feel to be a hero, Jayde?” Alexi asked.
“I’m not a hero.” Jayde put up air quotes.
“A hero is defined as a person of distinguished courage and ability who is admired for their brave deeds by their peers,” Alexi corrected her. “Face it, you are a hero.”
“All the other soldiers are heroes. They held it there, and it didn’t eat anybody. I admire them,” she stated.
“Yes, they held it at bay, but you were the only one to understand how to knock it out,” Alexi said.
“Did anyone want any more drinks?” Logan asked over the group. It must have been time to go.
“I’m good, Mister President. Alexi, Nattie, you good?” Jayde asked.
“It’s going to take forever to get out of here with all the hand shaking you’re going to do, Girl. Let’s try to get out of here,” Nattie said.
“We could go out the back,” Sydney suggested.
“And deprive her of greeting her fans? I don’t think so, Sydney. She’ll probably never get this opportunity ever again.” Nattie hit him on the arm.
“Do not worry, Jayde, I am still your bodyguard,” Alexi said.
“How about this, Alexi, you don’t have to be my bodyguard tonight, being my boyfriend will suffice,” Jayde said.
“I will still protect you,” Alexi said.
“I think that ability is required to be a boyfriend, Alexi,” Jayde said.
Cheauflux appeared from nowhere. “I believe the first part of my excursion has been completed. I still have to become your Lewis and Clark, and explore your planet. I must leave all of you. Farewell President Logan, Natalie Logan, and Jayde Farrow. Do svidaniya Alexi Doshmononov, and tell Deveauxn Chalet au revoir from me please. I have to explore your planet’s people and culture.”
“This is going to sound strange, but I’m going to miss you, Cheauflux,” Jayde had a tear in her eye.
“As long as you remember me, part of my essence will always be with you. I am never gone, I’m just always around your mental corner,” Cheauflux said.
“Do svidaniya Cheauflux. When you visit Moscow, share a snifter of vodka with the premier,” Alexi said goodbye to Cheauflux.
“Thanks for the close encounter, Cheauflux. My wife and I will have tales to tell to our grandkids when we’re rocking on the porch,” President Logan said.
“We have to have some kids before we get grand kids, Cheauflux, and I think we better get to work tonight,” Nattie said. “Thanks for your help, Cheauflux, and goodbye.”
Cheauflux turned, walked into the air, and disappeared. Jayde hoped she would see it before it went back to its planet.
It took some time to get to the limo. Jayde was getting major praise. Everybody congratulated her. It took forty minutes to get to the limo.
They left for the White House, and the marines escorted them in. They went to their respective bedrooms. Alexi wanted to have a nightcap.
“That was an interesting night,” Jayde said to Alexi, as she peeled off her dress. They were together—he has seen her in less, much less.
“It was a special night,” Alexi said, as he took off his tux. “I have to put this monkey suit into the changing room. I shall return.”
Jayde didn’t even think of what he said. She just went into the rest room to let her hair down.
Okay, that’s over. Time to go and visit mom and daddy. I think I’ll wait a day before I drop the bomb on them, she thought.
She came out of the restroom to hang her dress, and saw Alexi sitting on the bed, with an alluring look about him.
“You looked enchanting tonight in your new dress, and you look amazing now, with your hair down,” he said. He had a bottle of Dom Perignon, a strange vial, and two champagne glasses sitting on the table.
“Why thank you, Alexi. You looked suave in that tuxedo tonight, and those boxer-briefs are the proverbial cherry on top,” she said, and looked at the table. “You’re trying to get me drunk!”
Alexi stood, and walked to the table. He popped the cork on the champagne, grabbed a glass, and that strange vial. He walked over to Jayde, and gave her the glass.
As he poured the champagne, he spoke. “This was not meant to get you drunk. It makes what I have in this vial go down easier.”
“What do you have in that vial, drugs?” she asked.
“The liquid I possess is an aphrodisiac. What do you know of oxytocin?” Alexi asked.
“You know I know what oxytocin is,” Jayde said. “Oxytocin is a polypeptide hormone produced by the pituitary gland of the brain, that stimulates contractions of the uterus.”
Alexi smiled, and held up the vial. “This is dolphin oxytocin.”
He poured it into her drink. “Doctor Chalet gave it to me before we went to Naples. I was going to give it to you on the beach, but that was already romantic. I wanted to wait for a special occasion. This is that special occasion.”
She knew what human oxytocin would do to her, but dolphin oxytocin might make her go crazy.
“Screw it,” she said, and downed her champagne. She had this warm feeling that blanketed her body. “I am so glad I taught you about peptides.”
As her hips started to become warm, Alexi looked at her. “I told you I was going to one-up you tonight.”
“I think we both won that challenge, Alexi,” she said, as she climbed into bed.
Alexi turned off the lights, with a smile on his face.
Another stupendous night.
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