SAWYER

Once we regrouped and made sense of the events of the last few days, we paused everything and crossed over. We had something very important to do.

Zander stood by the marker that held nothing. Not one single bone. We said goodbye to an empty grave. It wasn’t fucking fair. That was dirty and if I ever get my hands on the cosmic punk, I’m going to show him just how dirty what he did was.

I stood at attention with the rest of my unit. The Alphas all stood with Zander. Members of all the units and some of Falcons council showed up too to pay their respects.

After Zander said his eulogy, he buried Grahams dog tags in the dirt.

“ATTENTION!” I bark without trying to choke. Sound of soldiers standing straight filled the Alpha cemetery.

“READY! AIM!” Sounds of guns raising and cocking rode the breeze that softly blew by.

We fire a succession of shots into the air to give Graham the soldiers send off he deserved. He sacrificed himself for Zander. For us.

I fired my shots and my heart hurt with each one.

After, we rest our weapons to our sides and Zander calls the funeral.

I march the unit back to Operations to change and try to prepare for the next battle. Graham will not die in vein. Not while I’m alive.

I may not have been overly close to him, but he was one of us. He was brother. A good Alpha in his own right. I may have my beefs with the Alliance, but this? This makes me one of them. They messed with one of ours. One of my brothers. If you mirror bastards are out there, you will pay with your blood. I promise you all that.

After I shower, I try to swallow this pain and get changed.

I’m so lost in the senselessness of it, I barely notice Darcy enter our row of lockers. “Hey.” He says solemnly.

I look up as I put on my boots. “Hey.”

“How you, you know…” He says as he straddles the bench.

I straddle the bench too and lean on my knees. “I don’t know. I’m pissed. I want to kill everything.”

He nods and briefly lowers his head. “I feel the same.” He looks to Grahams locker which is three doors down from mine. “It’s…um…not going to be the same.”

I fold my fingers together between my knees. I cough. “No. It’s not.”

“Someone has to tell his pack.” Darcy says.

I sit up and run a hand down my face. “I’ll do it.” I rub my hands on my thighs. “I’ll…um…go after the debrief.

Darcy nods. “How’s Damica?”

I rub the back of my head. “She’s good. Great…actually. She’s looking to clean mirror land up and get the people back to normal. Well, their normal, that is.”

Darcy gives me a half smile. “That’s great. You know, I never could see you settled down, but now that you are…It’s a good look, man.”

I smile back. “Thanks. I definitely wasn’t expecting any of this, but now that I’m in, I’m so glad I took that leap.” Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the Find_Nøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Yeah? You think it’s serious?” He asks.

I nod. “I already popped the question.” I lace my fingers and look at them.

“What’d she say?” He smiles.

I roll an eye to him. “Yes.” I chuckle a bit and lower my head with a little grin.

“That’s great, Sawyer. You’re standing under the moon. That’s awesome. I’m rooting for you. Damica does something to you. I can see it.” He taps my arm real quick.

I sit up. “I’m still my pissy self. She just adds more, ya know?”

He nods. “Yeah. I think I do.” He stands. “Jake wants to see you.” He takes off his suit jacket and pulls off his tie. “Something about a pack proposal.”

“Pack proposal?” I arch a brow.

“My guess? He wants to renegotiate the occupation.” He turns. “He’s in his office.” He says as he walks out.

I chew my cheek. I glance at Graham’s locker. I think about how I feel about him and all the rest of them. It didn’t have to be Graham. It could’ve been anyone of us. I’d feel just as angry. Just as pissed off about losing them. Jake included.

I stand and stuff my hands in my pockets.

Rex and his pack run through my mind. Outsiders. Criminals. Yet, heroes. Protectors of strangers. Not asking for a thing in return. No cash reward. No recognition. No pack houses. No land. They just do it to redeem their shitty start in life. To make amends for all the pain caused.

I take the elevator up to the Alpha floor.

Maybe I could do the same. Stop this informal war I have. Move us on from the criminals we once were. Redeem us from our shitty past.

Jake didn’t take his title maliciously. The circumstances were what got us here. Phoenix spoke and Jake answered. It’s about time I respected that.

Phoenix would never respect me as it’s leader. I didn’t earn it. Jake did. Sage soiled our house and Jake made it better.

It’s time to give up the ghost and give Phoenix to the person she deserves. It’ll hurt, but we had 2000 years. It was a good run.

I fix my t shirt and knock on the door.

“Come.”

I open the door and walk in. Jake is sitting on his couch. Shirt untucked. Tie off and buttons undone. A glass of whiskey in his hand.

“You wanted to see me?” I mumble.

He motions to the couch across from him. “Yeah. Sit.”

I don’t argue. I’m not even throwing attitude. That’s dead now. It’s dumb to argue about a patch of dirt when a good life was just snuffed out.

I sit down, Jake pours a shot and hands it to me.

“Thanks.” I take a sip. I roll the glass in my palms as I find the words I need to say. “Jake, I…”

“I’m Miracle.” He interrupts.

He’s not looking at me. He’s looking at his glass as he leans on the arm of his couch.

“Pardon?” I question.

“I feel it. It makes sense now. I never understood until now.” He talks like he’s breaking this big revelation.

“Jake, you’re not him. You don’t stab your friends in the back.” I say to him.

“No. I just let them get killed.” He slams his glass on the table and holds his head.

“You couldn’t have stopped it, Jake. No one could.” I say.

He rests his mouth in his folded hands. “I could have done something. My wolves could have broke them apart. But no. I just stood there. Destiny’s words running through my head. This is the sacrifice. This is one I fucking chose to die.” He rubs the back of his head.

I sit on the edge of my seat. “I was there Jake. You wouldn’t have gotten close.”

“My wolves could have” He stands and rubs his face. “I mean, what good is having two wolves if I can’t even save…” He trailed off and leaned his but on the edge of his desk.

He looks down at the floor. “I failed. I failed as his friend and his Alpha.”

I join his side. “You didn’t fail him. I did. I wasn’t fast enough. I should have taken the blade. Either way. We can’t change it. Graham wouldn’t want us beating ourselves up about it.”

“Even still.” He gets up and goes around his desk. He tosses a file my way.

“What’s this?” I pick it up.

“Phoenix.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I’m stepping down.”

I look up at him. “You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“It’s already signed. At least, temporarily. I need to figure out this Miracle thing and keep an eye on Zander. I can’t do that and run the city at the same time. I need you, Sawyer.”

I drop the file. “Why?”

He comes back around and stands in front of me. “For 12 years. I knew you. I knew you weren’t Sage. For every fight we had. For every boring late night pack meeting. For every council chamber argument. You know what I kept thinking?”

“What?” I arch a brow.

“I wish I could as great an Alpha as Sawyer.” He smiles.

I smile and cross my arms. “Stop. You’ll make me blush.”

“I mean it. More than half the things in this city came from you. Every time you barked at me, I took every idea and suggestion you yelled and weighed it. I implemented so much, Sawyer. Phoenix is just as much yours as it is mine.” He sighs. “Scratch that. Phoenix is yours. I’ve just been playing Alpha. I see that now.”

He turned and sat on the couch. “I’m man enough to admit where I don’t belong. I’ve only been keeping your seat warm. I didn’t earn this seat. You did. You took a pack and you worked damn hard, Sawyer. You broke through the reputation. You brought 500 wolves to redemption. Made them a pack this city could be proud of. And I am. I’m damn proud of you. The Red house maybe your birthright, but you earned Phoenix fair and square.”

I sat down across from him and looked him over. He’s not wrong. I have busted my ass to rid myself of Sage. The red wolves now are not the wolves he commanded. We’re better. But do I want the house this way? With Jake feeling defeated? I have to admit, through all his faults, most of which I made up in my own mind, he’s been damn good for this city. Even if some of those ideas came from me.

I can’t do him like that. I can’t make him feel like he’s no good.

“Ok. But I’ll only do it temporarily. You don’t get to walk when things get hard. No way.” I lean back and cross my leg. “I recognize you have some stuff to work out like this Miracle thing. I’ll help you. Once you do that and we knock out Eternity, I’ll step down. Move my pack into the desert. Phoenix deserves you, Jake. Don’t let anyone tell you different. The Reds had their chance. It’s more than time she had new blood.”

He bites his lip and nods. “If that’s what you want, I’ll agree.” He twists his palms together. “I’ll have to move out of the pack house. I need to be close to Zander. I’m taking the girls and Len to the penthouse. You can move in. I don’t know how long this will take and it’s just easier to run the pack from there.”

I put my hands out and shake my head. “Whatever you want.”

He rolls his eye to me. “You did good. The Falcon battle. Grahams proud and so am I.”

I sniff and give him a small smile. “Yeah well, I’d be nothing without you guys, so…”

He nods.

“Ok. I’m getting too squishy here and you’re not a hot brunette, so if we’re done here?” I stand and stick out my hand.

Jake chuckles. “Yeah, we’re done. There’s going to be a council meeting in a few hours. My mother says she has news and wants to talk to us all.”

I nod. “How’s things with her?”

He takes his hand back. “We’re working on it. It still hurts. She won’t explain anything except what she already told us and it grates me. I keep telling myself she’ll tell me when she’s ready, but I don’t think so. She pulls her Shaman crap every time I ask her anything about before she left. She keeps saying it’s the past and to just leave it there. I don’t know what to think.”

I clap his arm. “I’m sure she’ll come around.”

“Yeah.”

“See ya.” I wave bye and leave.

Walking down to the elevator, I can’t help but feel a sense of peace wash over me. It’s the most me and Jake talked outside of business. It felt good. The fact that he recognizes what I’ve been trying to do here, feels like a big moment of acceptance for not only me, but my pack. Like there is hope for the Reds after all. We’re no longer the outcasts we’ve been made to be.

Sage is officially dead. My first order of business is to never think of him again for as long as I live. From now on, my thoughts will be filled with my real brother, Graham and the sacrifice he made. Also, all my other brothers. My family now got a whole lot bigger, now that I actually will let them in.

I realize now, that a lot of the animosity to me and my pack was caused by me. I set the barriers. I separated myself from the rest of the guys. Kept them at arms length because I not only could trust them, I couldn’t trust myself. I may have held a shred of doubt that I could keep my red wolf reputation out of my life.

After that conversation with Jake, not only can get out from underneath it, I can crush it into oblivion. As of today, the Reds are no more.

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