The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)
Chapter Nineteen: Entering a Wolf‘s Den

“The facts you overlooked.” I mimicked. “You’re too old not to realize that you’ve made similar devastating decisions in the past.”

Ripping a large chunk out of the chocolate bar in my hand with my pointy teeth, I threw my arms wildly around the air. Just who in the hell did Dani think she was! Telling me my feelings! Who the hell did Cillian think he was telling me that I didn’t want him dead! Ta ifreann with them both! Icy wind bit at the exposed skin of my cheeks and hands but I barely felt it as I angrily crunched my way through the thick layer of snow.

“Hurt me? Hurt me? Pah!” I sneered, slamming my slowly numbing feet in the ground. “It was betrayal! He didn’t call me ugly, Dani! He slammed an iron stake in my chest and then threw me in prison! Prison!”

Grumbling, I waved a hand at the tree in my path and watched as it picked itself up by its roots and scuttled off. “I’m transferring my anger, am I? I’ll transfer it right up your nosey fucking ass!”

Panting from all the screaming I’d been doing around the woods for the past half hour, I took another large bite of chocolate and felt the last of my anger drain from my body. Letting my hands flop down to my sides, I dropped my head back on my shoulders and groaned loud and long. Why did you have to say that shit, Dani? Why’d you have to bring up my past decisions and how similar they were to his?

Was I being hypocritical? Because it was true if I really thought about it. I made a decision on what I thought was right without asking any of my people and went to battle against Mab. A lot of Fae died in that battle, in battle that they hadn’t chosen or decided on. So could I really be upset with Cillian for practically doing the exact same thing?

Kicking up a tuft of snow, I raised a heavy arm and took a forced bite out of the chocolatey goodness. Sighing, I chewed lazily and restarted the path towards Kaiya’s pack. When the fuck did my life become so complicated? A snort jumped free of my nose at the load of bullshit I’d just told myself. My life had always been complicated but it was this new complication with Cillian that was irritating the shit out of me.

When another gust of freezing wind rushed over my chapped cheeks, I shook my head at my own idiocy. Closing my eyes, I envisioned the small cabin I had taken her to after we met. But as the ground fell away under my feet, I quickly reopened them. Did I travel to her cabin or to the main house that I had passed on the way to the door between our realms? These shifters were more of a primal kind and I did consider Kaiya one of my best friendssssss... better not stir the wolves into a frenzy.

Restarting, I envisioned the large wooden log cabin with a wrap around porch covered in snow and creaking with age. The cold ground beneath my feet disappeared as a sense of complete weightlessness overcame my entire body. Within a minute, my eyelids were sliding open in time with the solid ground pushing up against my boots. The old but charming cabin stood a few feet away from my position at the edge of the gravel road. With a few neutral colored cars parked out front besides a somewhat expensive looking bus.

Taking another bite of my dwindling chocolate bar, I strolled towards the front door. The small parking lot and surrounding area was devoid of life but the cabin was ablaze with lights. Shadows passed the curtained window on the right side of the house when I stomped up the porch steps. Hip chains clinking, I raised a ring ladened hand to the hard wood and knocked.

Poor timing though as a round of loud curses and groans could be heard from my position on the porch. Casting my eyes to the left and then to the right, I shrugged and gripped the handle. That was enough politeness for one day. I was prepared to command the handle to do my bidding when it twisted without resistance underneath my palm. Dark green walls covered in pictures of wolves came into view as the door slowly swung open.

Bending at the waist, I leaned into the warm house and turned my head to the right. A group of boys sat around on the couches in the living room with their eyes glued to the T.V. Controls clutched tightly in the hands of three of them, they shoved and shouted while their friends cheered them on. Raising a brow, I swiveled my head to look up at the empty stairs before stepping cautiously over the threshold. Closing the door behind me, I walked further into the house to stand behind the boys.

The T.V. screen was split into three with a different car driven by a cartoon player in each. Taking another bite of the chocolate, I winced in sympathy as a banana peel sent one of the cars caneering off of the path. One of the boys snarled in rage before hitting the closest boy holding another controller across the back of his head. Grinning, I leaned forward and watched the game continue with it’s random acts of violence between the players.

It was only a few minutes later when another round of loud groans and cusses filled the room. A boy with honey colored curls jumped to his feet and punched the air in victory, “Fuck yea!” Doing a little dance as his friends threw food and cushions at him, he spun around to face them yelling, “Suck a dick, lose-Oh. Shit.”

The controler slipped from his hand as wide hazel eyes took in my relaxed form leaning against the closet couch. At his reaction, the rest of the boys turned to look and jumped to their feet in alarm. Taking the last bite of my chocolate bar, I placed a hand on the back of the couch and vaulted over to take the vacant spot. Growls and snarls vibrated the air at my movements but I just smiled back at them clustered in front of the T.V.

“Hello, Babes.”

After a long moment, a series of shoves tossed the hazel eyed boy a few feet in front of me, “Who are you?”

“A woman seeking advice.”

Sniffing the air, he shot his friends a look, “You’re not human.”

“I see sniffing is a thing with you shifters.”

The boy stiffened as the others shifted uncomfortably, “What are you?”

“A Queen to some and a villainous bitch to others. Depends on who you ask.” I shrugged, stretching my arms along the back of the couch.

“This is Silver Fang territory and you’re trespassing. Leave before we rip your throat out and toss your body in the snow.” He snarled while his friends bared their fangs from behind him.

Looking at them, I tried, I really really tried, but I couldn’t control the laugh that immediately tumbled out at his words. Shaking my head, I leaned forward and laughed harder when they all leaned away from me. Pulling the second chocolate bar free of my back pocket, I pointed it at him, “That was adorable, Babes.”

He snarled, “The Ranks are on their way.”

“The adults in charge, I’m assuming?” I questioned, ripping open the chocolate bar.

Instead of answering, all of the boys in the room pinned their eyes to the door on the left. A crash sounded out before the wooden door violently swung open to show the light brown skinned woman I’d come to see. Wickedly sharp fangs were bared at the room while claw tipped hands grasped the sides of the doorway, but after spotting me on the couch her aggression visibly dimmed. However before I could speak, a large figure slammed into Kaiya from behind causing her to release a grunt as she jolted.

Pale hands grabbed onto her shoulders, “Shit, shit. Sorry, still not used to the speed.”

Grinning, I watched her ignore him to step into the room and retract her natural weapons. “Ryan, link Otis and tell him it was a false alarm. My...friend has come to visit.”

“Best friend.” I corrected her.

“You two are friends?” The boy from earlier all but yelled.

Kaiya turned to look at him, “Yes, Theo.”

“She ate a man’s head.” I sighed wistfully while taking a bite from my chocolate bar.

Theo’s eyes shot between us before settling his hazel orbs on my blue ones, “Then why didn’t you say that you were here to see Kai?”

I raised a brow, “You didn’t ask, Babes.”

“Macha, how did you get into the house?” Kai asked, narrowing her eyes on the boys.

Glancing around the room, the boys widened their eyes pleadingly at me while Kai’s male gave them a sympathetic smile. Hmmmmmm. I could lie but the boy did sniff me soooo… “The front door. Someone really should lock it, what if a human had walked in? Those snarls would have been pret-ty tricky to explain...”

A vicious snarl sent the boys racing from the room, “Three laps around the territory before dark and I’ll know if you lie.” She snapped out just as the front door slammed shut behind them.

Laughing, I wiggled deeper into the couch while watching Kai and her male approach. “Little Wolf Queen, how have you been?”

“Good.”

“Hi, we haven’t officially met yet but I’m Ryan. Kaiya’s mate.” The male with black curly hair said, holding his hand out for me to shake.

Reaching forward, I clasped his hand in mine, “I see you’ve lost the whole ‘boy next door’ thing, good for you. The eyes add an attractive mystique to your persona.”

He pulled away, brown eyes with a quarter of bright red shooting to Kai, “Uh, thank youuuu?”

“Ohhhh, you bagged a cute one. He blushes doesn’t he?”

Kai’s lips pulled into a small smirk as she took a seat on the couch beside me, “He does but not as much as he talks.”

“Male or female, I love me a blusher.” I purred causing Ryan’s cheeks to heat. Too cute.

“Your male doesn’t seem the blushing type.”

Scoffing in disgust, I turned to lay along the couch with a better view of the pair, “That asshole is not my male.”

After a beat of silence on their part, Kai asked, “Why are you here?”

“Can’t a girl come see her best friend?

Red eyes left mine to look at her mate, “Is this normal between friends?”

“Best friends. You keep forgetting that part, Babes.” I chimed in as I took another bite of chocolate.

Ryan nodded at her with a soft smile.

“Well, what do you want from me?” She questioned, squinting her eyes at my relaxed form.

“Your advice.”

“My advice?”

I chuckled, “Your advice.”

Giving Kai’s thigh a squeeze, Ryan stood, “I’ll leave you ladies to it.”

“Oh, no.” I said, motioning with my chocolate bar for him to sit. “I want your advice too. Add a little male perspective.”

His unique eyes lit up, “Okay!” Falling back into his seat, he eagerly leaned forward, “Is this about that big dude you stabbed? I’ve been secretly dying to know how that went.”

Grinning, I kicked my legs in excitement, “I had a feeling you loved to dish! The big dude’s name is Cillian and yes, it’s about him. It’s a long story though, do you guys have time?”

“We have time.” Kai said and I might’ve been imagining it but even she looked interested in my little tale.

So with a heavy sigh and another bite of my sensational chocolate bar, I went about sharing my life story. Or at least the important bits.

…………………………….

“Holy Wolf Spirit and Moon! You’re a Queen. My mate is best friends with a Queen. An honest to Moon, Fae Queen in our pack house! In our presen-Oh! I’m so sorry! Would you like something to eat or drink? We have beer and elk-What am I saying! I can’t serve beer and elk to a Queen! No, no, I’ll go get something much nicer. I-”

The poor wolf was almost to the door when Kai called out to him, “Ryan.”

“Right. Right.” He said turning back around. “She’s here for advice, not a meal.” Ryan froze mid-walk as his eyes snapped to mine, “Right?”

Mildly shocked at his verbal spiral and completely amused, I raised my third chocolate bar, “I’m good.”

“So, this male almost killed you before imprisoning you for seven hundred and fifty years?” Kai rasped.

“Yes.”

Ryan retook his seat with a hum, “Where you endured endless torture on your mothers orders by some male named Fearghas?”

“Yup.” I replied with a little pop on the P.

“But you’ve killed Fearghas?”

“Most heinously.”

Kai tilted her head, “And Cillian had no part in your torture?”

“So he says.”

“Then you can’t blame him for what happened to you in that prison.”

Eyebrows shooting to my hairline, I said, “He’s the one who put me in there. If he hadn’t of suggested Slykhelm, I never would’ve been through any of that.”

“Buuuuut, then you’d be dead right now. And to be honest, from what you said it doesn’t sound like he wanted to send you there.” Ryan countered.

Before I could respond, Kai jumped in, “The only thing he sounds guilty of is saving your life and almost killing you.”

“What? No, he-”

“Enough with the excuses.” She snarled a little. “You landed yourself in that prison by going to battle against your mother. What happened in that prison was your mother’s and this Fearghas’ fault. You killed Fearghas. That revenge is over. But you still need to kill your mother so you can get over it .”

Pushing up into a sitting position, I furrowed my brows, “It’s not that simple.”

“I hate to say it but it kind of is.” Ryan said, cringing a bit.

Mind shooting a mile a minute to process the simplicity in which she spoke about my trauma, I sputtered, “No but Cillian-”

“Cillian sounds like he’s been one of your most loyal allies, not to mention like he can help you win this war.”

“No dammit. He’s an asshole, he-”

“Is continuously risking his life to get you war winning information.”

Frustration hitting a boiling point, I shouted, “Fuck!” Because damn it all to ifreann, they were making sense.

“What do you need to do to get over what Cillian did to you?”

“Him bleeding out in front of me.”

Calculating red eyes looked me over, “That’s a lie, you don’t want him dead. If you did, he would be.”

“I-” What did I need? What did I need to get over what he did to me? Because Dani and Kai had both said similar things and it was only now smacking me harshly across the face. Cillian had saved my life in the most technical of ways and I don’t think he foresaw the damage that his decision would do to me. My trauma was mine alone and I needed to work through it to be the Queen that my people deserved. Blaming someone else for the consequences of my actions wasn’t like me and it wasn’t Queenly. There was also the cruel reality that I had made similar decisions, to the one that he had made for me, for other people.

And even though I hated the way he went about it, he did save my life. On that day, I had been prepared to die but all these years later, even after everything I had gone through...I didn’t want to die. I didn’t trust him but after hearing everything he had done for me layed out so simply twice now, I don’t think he was actively trying to hurt me. Besides, I told myself that I’d always put my people first. It was time to start doing that by working with the man who could tip the war in our favor.

So what did I need…….. Ripping off a chunk of chocolate, I chewed around my words, “I-I need to know why he said Slykelm, why he chose to send me there. And I need a Cluiche Grudge.”

“A Cluiche Grudge?” Ryan asked.

I kicked my legs back up on the couch, smirking at his horrible pronunciation, and explained, “A Cluiche Grudge is a Grudge Match. It’s an ancient non-lethal method of resolving issues between neighbors. They fight until the person or both of them no longer harbor any ill will.”

Kai smiled, “I like that.”

“Noooo, Buttercup. Some of our people don’t have that kind of restraint.”

Feeling truly a million pounds lighter, I complimented them, “Thank you both, I knew I made the right decision by coming here. You gave me the kick up the ass that I needed.”

“Uh, there is one thing I think you should pay more attention to.”

“Yea?” I asked, intrigued by Ryan’s hesitant tone.

“From what you told us, which was a very detailed account of your life, I think you should be asking more questions.”

“What do you mean?”

His eyes shot to Kai and at her reassuring nod, he continued, “Well, not to be rude but why was it so important that they kept you alive?”

“I’m the only one with a real shot at killing Mab.”

“Yeaaa, but the way they say things is weird. I think you need to ask what they expect of you after the war and what Dougals last secret is. Because if you ask me, it sounds like multiple people around you are keeping a secret.”

Concerned, I looked over at Kaiya for her opinion.

“Can you afford to be in the dark on this third secret of his, when the first two had such a big impact on you?”

No. No, I couldn’t. I thought, chewing on the last of my chocolate bar.

—-

Trust Kaiya to quickly get to the root of your problem, lmao. I don’t think Macha was expecting to be so bluntly put in her place.

For those of you that read Feral Born, I hope this was satisfying and a little bittersweet!

As always, feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts on chapter!

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