The Beast Within (Book One of the Changes Series)
Regrets (Part 15)

-Danielle’s POV-

I felt weak in more ways than one as I watched my transformation from Porsha’s fading eyes. She was about to die, and there was nothing to be done about it.

I ran my hand gently through her hair as I listened to her pulse become fainter. My heart broke further as the slightest of smiles tried to grace her broken face. My guilt felt bottomless. This was my fault; I could’ve saved her. If I would’ve concentrated harder and didn’t let that grey-haired werewolf distract me, she wouldn’t be dying.

I depended on my instincts, following my gut to keep Porsha safe. Somewhere between the fight with the first werewolf and the appearance of the grey one, I completely lost focus. The grey werewolf did help me kill the other wolf, but I left Porsha to fend for herself against monsters. If I hadn’t gotten sidetracked by his presence, I would’ve sensed the other slimy beast before it had reached Porsha.

Tears washed down my face, “I meant what I said earlier. I’m sorry for everything.”

Why did I find it so hard to pull myself away from the grey one? It was as if I was hard-wired to follow him. Was it some type of werewolf thing to feel a pull towards your own kind? Yet, I didn’t feel anything towards the slimy fuckers that attacked Porsha and me. I didn’t notice any attachment to the werewolf I had contact with my first night either.

What I did know was I wanted him. Even now, I could sense my inner urge to find him. I shook my head, hoping his influence over me would be severed. Sᴇaʀch Thᴇ FɪndNøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

My head shot up.

There was something in here with us. It was him! The grey werewolf paced back and forth at a distance. The urge to submissively follow the unknown creature sickened me. Still, maybe I should trust my gut? Then again, there was a time I wanted to hurt Porsha. Was that my instincts or something else?

A low growl broke the air. The grey werewolf seemed to be growing impatient. Did he expect me to leave Porsha where she lay and go with him? Goosebumps started to form over my body between the draft in the air and the grey one’s progression towards me. It was the first time I was made aware of my nakedness since I had changed back.

I tried harder for his presence not to affect me, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t. From his confident stride to the dominance exuded and his scent, it all sang to me, pulling me in. Instinctually, I took in a deep breath, losing myself in his musk.

My gaze fell back on Porsha; her eyes were now closed. Her heartbeat was barely audible. The talk she had with me earlier played through my thoughts. She was right; I had to get back to my family. This wasn’t my life. I already had one.

I knew I couldn’t move Porsha. She would die where she laid. A fresh batch of tears filled my eyes. I was certain Porsha was in a coma, awaiting her last breaths.

I gently put my mouth next to her ear, “I promise I will make it out of here and back to my family,” I whispered.

I kissed her forehead before rising to my feet. The grey one dwarfed my human form, standing only a couple of feet away. Raising my head, I met his gaze. Still, I had to fight against my instincts to transform and follow. Again, I was ashamed by how much I wanted it, wanted him. He shouldn’t be anyone to me. I didn’t even know if he would be considered human. Then again, would I still be regarded as human?

He lowered to all fours and broke the small gap between us. I wasn’t sure what was next as he stalked in front of me, pacing slightly from side to side. His eyes never left mine.

I looked harder. There was something familiar in his gaze. Without warning, he stood up. The intensity of his stare made me uneasy. We stood there in a stalemate, staring at each other.

“Do I know you?” I asked

He offered his hand. It wasn’t the monstrous size of his hand or the claws that frightened me. It was I knew if I took his hand, I would belong to him. What was even more horrifying was what he might do to me if I didn’t. I carefully backed away. He let out a nasty snarl, baring his canines.

I stopped dead in my tracks but made no steps to go back near him. I kept watching as he went back to pacing. My attention was divided. It went from him to Porsha’s body that he was now closer to than I was. It seemed he made a conscious effort to not step on her. Was that consideration for me? It didn’t matter; I still had to get out of here and back to my family.

I tried to transform, but the stirrings of my dark friend were weak. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to best him in a fight. I was as good as dead if he decided it suited him. My eyes stung as more tears formed.

I wept for Porsha and being in an impossible situation. I also cried for what I had to sacrifice. I yearned to be with the grey one for reasons unknown to me, but I also longed to go home.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I whispered as I turned to run.

I ran as if my life depended on it. Every step I took, I was surprised it wasn’t my last. Thoughts of my children and husband fueled me to push myself harder, never looking back.

Excitement almost overwhelmed me as I made it to the source of the light. Porsha crossed my mind. If she would’ve made it through, none of the werewolves would’ve been able to follow her.

I didn’t waste any time. My naked body slowed my progression as I tried to minimize the sharp rocks’ rubbing against me. Still, I could feel the heated sting of inevitable abrasions from the front to the back of me.

It wasn’t until I was halfway through when I noticed the heavy breathing of the grey one. I kept inching outward with my head fixed in the direction of my escape. I couldn’t see if he could’ve snared me with his claws, pulling me back in. I had to hope he didn’t want to hurt me, or I would’ve never made it this far.

Another fear played through my thoughts. What was on the other side? If there were any more of those slimy fuckers, I wouldn’t have any way of protecting myself from them.

An excruciating forever later, I breached the cavern’s walls. I made it! I took a moment to breathe and tried to find my bearings. Scanning the area, I noticed there wasn’t much more than the floodlight I saw through the crack and an open field, but at least it was clear of werewolves. What if the area was booby-trapped? The thought of blowing up didn’t sit well, but I couldn’t stay here. The floodlight made me a sitting duck. I said a small prayer, picked a direction, and ran.

The brisk air bit into my bared flesh as the overgrown field’s weeds took their due, tearing at my ankles. Still, I refused to slow down. My freedom was so close!

If sirens, gunshots, or bombs were going off, I didn’t hear any of it. I only heard my little girl’s voice and saw my little boy’s smile.

Blinded with concentration, I almost ran straight into a chain-link fence. This was it. When I made it over, I would be free. I peered up. The fence had to be at least twenty feet high, and there was razor-wire at the top of it. I wasn’t sure if I could have cleared this even if I was clothed.

That thought didn’t stop me from taking the first step upward. Whatever injury I endured, I would heal eventually, right? My thoughts went back to the bite to my shoulder amongst many other bumps and severe scratches I suffered before the grey werewolf entered the fight. He quickly snapped the slimy bastard’s neck with his massive jaws. Afterward, I didn’t have a scratch on me other than the scar on my shoulder from that Eta bitch. I felt tired, but it wasn’t anywhere as bad as the last time. I must be getting stronger.

Halfway up, the weight of the metal ring around my neck made itself known again. I would’ve thought it would break off after I transformed or slipped off after I changed back, but it automatically adjusted to either form. Was that the reason I wasn’t being followed? Was someone watching me right now with their finger over the detonate button? Just waiting for me to feel that I had actually won my freedom before they cooked me to a crisp like they did to the Eta girl.

The fence cutting into the balls of my feet made a good distraction from the heavy ring around my neck. Still, the pain had nothing on the mental agony I suffered by the mere thought of the razor-wire. My earlier reassurances of healing afterward quickly started to wane. I didn’t even know if I would heal in my human form. I did after my first attack, but I was in a coma for over a week. Not to mention when I tried to turn and couldn’t. I had no idea how my body worked anymore.

I reached the top and my last obstacle. It was time to do what had to be done. Without hesitation, I pushed my body through the ringed mesh. It took every ounce of will I had to keep moving as I yanked my stuck body parts free, leaving flesh, blood, and hair on the line.

My blood made my footing slick and clumsy as I made my way down. Halfway down, gravity did the rest as I jumped to the ground with the promise of freedom being the only fuel left in my tank.

I had fucking made it, but just barely. My dark friend was growing restless; I needed to feed it. It knew that. There wouldn’t be any more healing without it. I could’ve taken a bite out of the werewolves that the grey one and I killed in the cavern, but their smell warned me of their taint.

I still needed to find my way out of here. My hunger and healing would just have to wait. As I took a look around, I didn’t see anything but more dusty, weed-choked fields, which made me feel even weaker than I already did.

I stumbled through the brush, trying to keep a fast pace. Maybe Lu Ann believed I died along with Porsha in the cave, but soon enough, someone would go to collect the bodies. Hopefully, when that time came, I would be long gone.

My legs felt rubbery and heavy by the clearing of the third hill. I stopped and stared in disbelief at the scattered houses and the distant lights casting dim rays over a small highway. A lit barn house caught my attention. I knew where I was, Scott Road! It was a back street that only the locals used as a shortcut to skip over the more congested freeways.

A dry cackle came out as my best attempt at a laugh.

I would cringe every time I had to drive past that creepy barn. Now it stood as a symbol of salvation. I remembered being driven around for hours, but Scott Road was only thirty minutes from my house. My anger began to rise before quickly turning into hope. I could’ve just as easily been in the middle of nowhere, and I would have died in the state I was in. I just had to make it to the road or one of the houses, and my nightmare would be over!

Every step I took was one more step closer to my family; this had to work.

I reached one of the compacted dirt roads, looking to the left and right of me. One way led to the darkened highway, and the other went back up into the hills and the tunnels of terror. My best bet was to knock at someone’s door and hope they were home. I quickly made my way towards a darkened double-wide trailer when I heard rustling nearby. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I wasn’t alone.

I tried to run but could only hobble as I used what was left of my reserves and made it to the trailer’s door. I knocked as hard as I could.

“Please, someone help me. Call the police, please.”

As far as I could tell, there wasn’t any movement from inside. I tried again, nothing. My body gave out, collapsing on the ground. My hand still firmly held onto the door’s knob as I lost all control. My body violently heaved as I dryly sobbed. I was done. That was all I had.

It didn’t take long for whatever caused the rustling to find me. That was if it had ever lost me in the first place. I caught the familiar musk in the air. My head rose, and I found the giant grey werewolf standing on the dirt road I had just left. My hand dropped off the doorknob as I continued to blankly stare at the approaching beast. It didn’t seem in a hurry, as if it knew I had nowhere else to go.

The massive bundle of fur, muscle, and claws was now only steps away from me. He stopped in front of me, and all I could do was divert my eyes and wait for its verdict.

A small part of me wanted to stand up to the beast as I had in my dream, but I was too exhausted.

The next thing I knew, I wasn’t lying on the dusty ground anymore, nestled in his monstrous arms. He was taking me back to the nightmarish compound. Still, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of security in his firm embrace. My unaccomplished goals of reuniting with my family and the broken promise to a friend drifted through my thoughts. It caused shame more painful than any physical injury I had to endure. Still, I couldn’t shake the consolation the beast offered with his mere presence. My eyes closed as I took in his sweet scent.

That familiarity I felt in the cave clicked in place, causing my eyes to flutter open. I had smelled him before. It had a subtle difference, but now that I placed it, I wasn’t sure how I ever missed it. I’d been around it for the last decade of my life. I gave a last-ditch effort to focus my energy as I lulled my head upward. The moonlight seemed to catch his face when he glanced down at me.

“It’s you,” I muttered.

How could that be? I didn’t have an answer for that question, but I knew who he was without a shadow of a doubt.

“Nathan...” I whispered. Then everything turned black.

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