Another week passed and snow began to fall. Sam had been in a coma for over seven weeks now—almost two months.

Mik was thoroughly bored and tired of being cooped up inside all day. He yearned to shift and go out and play in the snow, but he refused to leave Sam’s side—even if he was permitted to go out. He was feeling restless, the energy within him was stirring up and he felt as though Sam would wake up any moment. He couldn’t say how he knew, it was just a sense. It was a nervous energy, one that made him pace and repeatedly massage Sam’s body and move his limbs, talking to him with confidence that he would wake up soon and see that Mik was different. That he was sorry he cheated on him but that he wanted to try again. That he realized, more than anything, he wanted to be loved and he believed Sam was the only one who could give him that.

“All I ask is another chance, please,” he said, holding Sam’s hand, feeling the warmth in his skin, the sparks firing off, and his strong, steady heartbeat pulsing in his veins.

There was a rapping on the door and Mik hung his head. He lay Sam’s hand down at his side and rose from the edge of the bed. He knew who was on the other side of the door. He was the only one to knock and wait for him to answer since Mik was permitted to get up and move about.

Lifting his head and squaring his shoulders, he walked to the door and pulled it open.

Alpha Noodin’s dark brown eyes stared back into his, only a few inches higher.

Swallowing, Mik stepped back and lowered his eyes and inclined his neck. “Alpha.” He sniffed and peered around him. “Luna.”

The female scoffed and pushed herself between the two males. “While you two stare each other down, I’m going to visit with Sam.”

Stepping back further, Mik kept his head lowered as he held the door open.

“How is he?” Noodin asked, not moving an inch.

“Everyone will tell you the same thing they’ve been saying for weeks now. But today I feel... energy... like I hadn’t before,” he said.

“That’s wonderful news, Mikwam.” Luna Aki eased down on the edge of Sam’s bed and took the hand Mik previously held moments ago.

“And you, Luna? How are you? I know Sam would be happy to hear it as this is your first time visiting him,” Mik said, maintaining his submissive posture and eyes on the floor.

“I’m feeling much better, thank you,” she said to him before her voice turned away toward Sam. “I haven’t thrown up yet today, Sam. I think I’m finally past that stage. This one was brutal. None of my males ever gave me so much trouble. Just a few more months and then you can meet her. She’s going to be a stubborn free-spirit, I’m sure.”

“She?” Mik asked, looking up and glancing from Aki to Noodin.

“Yes, we just got it confirmed,” Noodin said.

Mik was happy for them, but clamped his mouth shut and lowered his head again. Resentment still gripped him and he could feel his muscles clenching on their own. As much as he hated this male, this male took Sam out of his shitty home. No one helped Mik when he was a pup when his father beat him—not even his grandparents.

As much as he didn’t want to leave Sam’s side with these wolves, he knew they would never hurt him. “I’ll give you all some privacy.”

Turning to leave, Noodin blocked his path. “A word.”

Inclining his head, Mik followed Noodin out of the infirmary to a quiet corner in the hallway.

“Yes, Alpha?” he asked, concealing the emotion in his voice and trying to reign in his mounting resentment.

“What are your intentions if and when Sam wakes up?”

Noodin’s directness rubbed Mik the wrong way. It ruffled his fur up, bristling behind his neck. The last thing he wanted to do was tell him the truth, but anything less would serve as further kindling to burn him should Sam reject him.

Swallowing back his grudge, he squared his shoulders and looked the alpha in the eye. “To take care of him.”

Disbelieving eyes narrowed. “You cannot be trusted. When he wakes, do you seriously think he will accept you?”

“I don’t know if he will accept me, but I can take care of him. I have been taking care of him as best as I can. I give him his baths, his massages, and his physical therapy. Hell, I even read books to him. I’ve done everything he’s done for me when I was in a coma—only my care has lasted a month instead of a few days. I cook, I clean the cabin—”

“You cheated. You took advantage of him, of our hospitality and our resources. He’s better now, what’s to stop you from bailing? Or repeating the same atrocities again?”

Mik’s hands clenched into fists at his side. “How can anyone move on if their past mistakes are always brought up and thrown in their face? I fucked up. I know that. But you let him down too. You can’t put all the blame on me. I took my punishment without complaint or retaliation. What more do you want from me? To submit? Fine, I’ll submit—”

“I have no use for a distrustful, despicable rogue in my pack,” Noodin asserted. “The deal has always been that you live under Sam’s care. If Sam no longer wants you, then I have no reason not to put you where you belong—in prison for the crimes you committed to my pack and to him. That is my right.”

A snarl tore through Mik, but he held himself. Locked in place. Fighting against instinct to lunge forward and tear this male’s throat.

But he knew he was right. Any alpha would do the same.

Mik was a threat. He betrayed everyone’s trust, everyone’s generosity, and deserved far worse than prison.

A strangled sound garbled from his throat. “What’s... stopping you?”

“Sam is. It’s his call. He needs you to be there until he wakes. If I pulled you away from him now, he might never wake up. The amount of suffering his mind, body, and soul has endured was greater than anyone else’s who have pulled out of comas. And as his mate, if you feel more energy from him, then I don’t question your senses for a second. He still needs you and it is not my right to sentence you until he wakes.”

Bitter disgust pervaded his mouth, like blood after being punched. “He won’t want me.”

“I agree, but it’s his call, not mine.”

Mik hung and inclined his head, exposing his neck. His fists trembled at his side. Rage filled him, but also fear and heartache.

Sam would never forgive him and Mik didn’t blame him. Prison was too good for him—he could handle that. It was Sam’s rejection that he dreaded. He didn’t know if he could take it. He craved Sam’s acceptance more and more. His love and forgiveness...

‘How could he possibly love and forgive you now?’ his father sneered in his ear.

“I accept whatever punishment you give me...” he grumbled. “Except his rejection.” I’ll go crazy...

“I can’t force Sam to live with you if he doesn’t want to. He will stay with one of us who care about him—”

“I care about him!”

The admittance startled him more than the force of his voice. His heart began to pound against his ribs. Revulsion growled in his ear.

He cared. He cared more about Sam than he had cared about anyone. Even though he was male. Even though it went against his nature, he cared about Sam.

Venomous words spat in his face. “And look at what your care cost.”

Pain exploded from Mik’s chest. He lunged forward, snarling as he pinned the older male up against the wall, his arm under the crook of his chin. Teeth flashing, Mik saw red. Ready to fight. Ready to kill. The last straw broken. He glared into Noodin’s eyes, meeting the challenge—not for position, but for Sam.

“I will fight for him,” Mik snarled, a warped twisting of vocal cords—his instinct on the edge.

“Even if he doesn’t want you?”

“Yes.” Making a stance. Baring his teeth. Meeting the challenge in the dark, bitter eyes before him. No more backing down from guilt.

Sam may not be the sex Mik liked, but Sam was still Sam. The only one to care about him. The only one to show him kindness. The only one to put up with his shitty attitude. He survived jumping from a cliff. He wasn’t weak.

“Why?” Hardened eyes seeking truth bore into Mik’s.

“Because he’s the only one. The only one to care about me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

He would fight for that—for that simple truth that seemed impossible now. He didn’t deserve it then and he deserved it even less now.

“Why now? Why not before when Sam was so happy he was blind to your faults?”

“He wasn’t blind—I was,” Mik gritted out. “He saw what could be. I didn’t. I refused. This is all my fault, and I’m the only one who can correct it now.”

“Can you?” Noodin challenged. “What if he rejects you? What if he does what you did—push you away, fight against you, cheat on you?”

A growl rumbled up Mik’s throat. He lowered his arm to Noodin’s chest and gave him a shove before releasing him and stepping back. “That’s the difference between me and Sam. He embraces and brings out the good in all things and I reject and resist them. I’ve thought about it over these last two months. I want what we had back—only this time, I won’t take any of it for granted. I won’t fuck around with him again.”

Noodin appeared calm and collected, unaffected by Mik’s shove and aggression. “While I’m pleased to hear that, the damage has been done. The trust has been broken. The dream shattered. Sam is the type of male who gives and gives until he can’t give anymore. You’ve used him up. I don’t know if he will ever be the same again.” Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the FɪndNøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Things will be different this time. I swear to the Moon—”

“Don’t ever swear to Her unless you mean it!” Noodin snapped.

“I do!”

“You’ve sworn to Her before and look what you did.”

“I swore to be good and I tried!” Mik snapped, flashing his teeth again. “You think it was easy for me to reject everything I’ve been told? To reject the dreams I held and believed in? To reject the nature of who I am? I fucked up! I know that! We all know that my mate is male and I expected a female. We all know that I tried to take over the pack. We all know I failed at everything and now I don’t care. I don’t care about any of that anymore. I only care about Sam right now.”

“Guilt is a wonderful teacher, isn’t it? But once the guilt starts to wear off, so will your devotion toward Sam right now. You’ll go back to seeking out females and challenging me—”

“Why the fuck would I tell you any of this if I still planned to follow that path? How stupid do you think I am? I don’t know what I want anymore because everything hangs on the line with Sam. If he rejects me, then my fate is sealed. But if he doesn’t...” Mik hesitated, having thought about this many times before but still had no clue. “I have to focus on him until I can find my purpose the way he found his. I supported him in that every way I could possibly think of—something I had never experienced myself. He inspired me to better myself. Did you know that? Did you know that I could barely read before him and now I read to him every damn day for hours? Even now, he is teaching me to be patient, gentle, and honest with myself. No one has ever taught me that—only him.”

He was shaking. His heart pounded like a jackhammer in his chest. Confessions exposing his weaknesses spilled forth.

All he knew was his father’s fist and fucking pussy.

He wanted more. He wanted to be everything Sam needed. That truth struck him and terrified him. Everything he thought was a weakness was shaking him to the bones.

Noodin studied him with calculating eyes. “You couldn’t read?”

“Not very well. Only small basic everyday words.”

The furrow in Noodin’s brows smoothed out into a frown. “I’m sorry your upbringing was so terrible. But that’s no excuse for what you did to Sam.”

“I know.” Muscles began to relax, the tightness unraveling. “I know what I did was horrible. I know I will screw up again one way or another because that’s what I do. I fuck up until I learn. But I will never hurt him like that again.”

Noodin scrutinized him for a few more seconds before giving his head a small nod. “You look odd without your hair and beard. That’s going to shock him if he wakes up soon.”

Mik’s ears perked up at the shift in Noodin’s body language, tone, and words. Tension slipped away and he lowered his guard further. “I wanted to reassure him. That he wasn’t alone without hair, but it’s growing back fast.”

“It will still take time for him to grow back that fringe he likes to hide behind.”

The corners of Mik’s lips twitched, trying to curve up in a smile but he wouldn’t let them. “Yeah, that will bother him for a while.”

“How does it feel?”

Mik touched his head, his lips breaking their hold and curving up. “Breezy and light. But my face is itchy like a mother-fucker.”

“That happens when you shave and the hair grows back. It will pass in a few weeks if you grow your beard out again.”

Mik bowed his head to hide his growing smile. “Good to know.”

The shift in topics lightened the air between them. This should have been something he learned from his father, not this male he still despised—even if this male saved Sam from a shitty situation.

“By the way...” Mik hesitated to bring up but pushed himself to say to show Noodin that he trying to be better. “Thanks for taking Sam in when he needed help. I think about that a lot.”

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