The Falcon Ridge Series Book 2 Not Just A Girl
Chapter 30

(Chapter song ‘My Demons' by Starset)

JAYSON

Left. Right.

Right. Right. Left.

I punch the bag with all the force I can muster. The more I punch, the angrier I feel.

"Humph... Humph... Hmmmuph!" My gloves slam into the bag one after the other, each punch is faster and stronger.

Every throw is for her. Every connection is a rogue that caused it. It's because of them that I got ripped from her arms. Now, my chest is filled with murder. I’m killing every single last one of them for her.

"Humph. Humph. Humph. Humph." My exhales turn into screams and growls as the bag swings violently. My hair and shirt are soaked and sweat flies off me as I bounce and kick the bag.

My arms are on fire and each swing becomes more painful. I feel warm wet in my gloves and a familiar sting from my knuckles. The pain makes me hit it harder as I scream out my frustrations and anger.

I slam it so hard and fast, it threatens to rip. I better stop.

Heaving breathes, I grab the bag to stop it from swinging and put my head on it as I slam my eyes shut, clench my teeth and fight the tears I thought I didn't have left.

This pain is unbelievable. Every minute I’m away from Sarah, it hurts more.

Every day since I left, I do this. I'm not sleeping because I keep thinking Sarah is with me. I wake up, find a cold bed and destroy myself all over again. I've tried everything. Nothing is appeasing the wolf inside. He's been howling at me, begging me to jump in my car and go to her.

I barely eat. The only thing I do is punch the shit out of this bag. It doesn't fix a thing, but it makes me tired enough to pass out. That's all I want. To tire myself out so much, that I have a blind sleep because my normal sleep is haunted by her image. Her soft skin. Her radiating smile. The curve of her spine. Her intoxicating scent. She's everywhere.

I see her in my waking hours. Every long haired blonde has my heart skip a beat, until I realize it's not her.

Cooling myself down I sit on a bench. I pull my gloves off and inspect my bleeding knuckles. They’re rubbed raw and I stare at them, watching the skin heal back together. Somehow, this tiny moment is soothing. It distracts me for minute and I get lost in it. I grab a towel and wipe the blood off once my healing takes care of them.

I lean on my thighs, rub my face in my hands and stop in a prayer pose as I hear my phone ding. I look at it, grab it and swipe it open.

SARAH: Please. I hurt so much. Please, talk to me.

I hang my head after I read the latest of her multiple messages.

The thought of her hurting has the anger building again. I should block her, but I don't have the heart to do it. My love for her makes me selfish. I want to see these messages flood my phone. It's like a drug I torture myself with. If I ever stop getting them, I'll know she's moved on like I told her to do.

I know I’m just letting her suffer by not answering, but I don’t want to give her any hope that we'll be together again. It’s only a matter of time that I’ll be deployed to God knows where and that will only hurt her more.

I’ll keep her messages. It lets me know she’s alive and as well as she can be. If she texts me, I know she’s safe.

Finally, exhaustion finds me so, I head back to my small room. As a Beta, we're in the regular rooms. Alpha rooms are much bigger.

I flop on my bed, not even bothering to shower or change. My funk is so deep, I couldn't care less anymore.

I close my eyes and her sweet lips call my name on the wind. Her voice gets farther and farther away until sleep finds me and I pass out.

****

I feel like I've barely closed my eyes. I hear words off in the distance, slowly towing me back into reality. At first, my mind plays tricks. It fucking hates me. I think it's Sarah. When reality sets in and the voice is recognizable, I realize it's my neighbor, Brad.

Yeah, I know. Welcome to my hell.

"Dude. You awake?" He's popped his head in the door.

"Wha?" I can barely see. I'm sure I look like I've been hit by a truck.

"Jay?" He walks in with a cringe look on his face. "You feeling alright because you don't look so good." He grabs a chair and sits in it.

Brad was a friend of mine when I first got to the unit. He’s a good guy, but a little stupid. Kind of reminds me of Kale except he's dark tanned with black hair, dark brown eyes and well built. He’s a great fighter, but I certainly wouldn't put him in charge of anything.

I sit up and scrub my face and bed head. "Yeah, man. I'm ok."

He shakes his head. "Jayson, you're still in your clothes from yesterday and when's the last time you showered?" His nostrils scrunch.

I shrug. "I don't know. Last Tuesday."

He leaned on his thighs. "You're messed up."

I snort, turn off my bed and plant my feet on the floor. "Understatement of the fucking century." I pull off my dirty socks and toss them toward my hamper. They miss it and land on the floor.

I stand up, go to my dresser and search through the mess on top for a water bottle. I find one that's half full, unscrew the cap and empty it down my dry, course throat.

I toss the bottle back on my dresser. "What do you want anyway?" I go back to bed and flop on my stomach.

"We have a briefing in an hour. You know, work? You should have been up by now." Brad stands and places his hands on his hips. "So, get up. Grab some clothes and get in the shower. Cuz, man, you stink." He rubs my stench from his nose.

I pull myself up and sniff myself. I have to blink the smell away as I drop my shirt. "Shit. I'll see you in twenty."

I stumble to my dresser as Brad walks out and closes the door behind him.

I know I've been letting myself go, but I can't help it. I'm slowly being tortured to death in the P.O.W camp of Sarah. Surviving off the bare minimum. Right now, she's forty minutes away and I can't fucking see her because we aren't allowed to leave unless it's for a mission.

At least with training, you got breaks for time with your families. Here, due to the nature of our work, civilian interaction is strictly regulated. I feel like I'm on an undiscovered island in the middle of the goddamn ocean. I honestly don't know why I ever wanted this job.

I take off my clothes and wrap a large white towel around my waist. I throw another over my shoulder, grab my shower kit and head to the showers.

The halls are full of people getting ready for the day. I mumble my way down the hall as people greet me with arm and back claps.

In the locker room, I pull out a uniform and my socks, boots and boxers. I take off my towels and find an empty shower head. I drop my soap and cloth in the rack beside it and turn it on. I don't even heat the water first.

The shock of the cold water hitting my back sends a jolt through my system. I plant my hands on the wall and stick the back of my head under the running water. I just stand there. The water pooling across my face and onto the floor.

“Well, if it isn’t Beta Duke.”

As the water cascades over the back of my head, I slowly turn to a stupid grin and another identical stupid grin.

I stand and grab my soap. “Shut up, Andrews.”

“Oh, Come on. Is that anyway for a Beta to talk?”

Grey Andrews. Loud mouth first year. He thinks he’s perfect because he’s big, tall with dirty brown hair and blue eyes that he says lands all the ladies. I don’t see it.

He’s an assistant trainer, under special age consideration. The twins are 18 and normally the Unit is for 24 year Olds. They changed the age requirement when Luke joined at 17. After seeing Luke, you can understand why, but for some reason, most likely political, they let these two jackasses in.

As for Grey Andrews, he's a giant pain in my ass. His twin brother, Wesley, is more passive, but still a dick when he wants to be.

Grey’s cocky because his in on a free ride. Their dad is Head of the Operations Unit. They think they have power here.

I cross my arms in the falling water. “Aren’t you a Beta too?”

“Not for long. I’m getting Alpha then I’ll run this joint.” Grey smirks.

“Oh, please.” Wes rolls his eyes. “You can barely find the place.”

Grey smacks his brothers chest. “Shut up, Wesley.” He growls.

“Don’t lie. That’s why you make me drive.” Wes scowls.

Grey turns to his brother and thumps a finger in his chest. “I make you drive because you’re younger.”

“BY LIKE A MINUTE!” Wes throws us his hands.

Grey holds up two fingers and smirks. “Two minutes.”

“Seriously?” Wes glares.

“Guys! Fuck off.” I side eye them go back to cleaning.

“Don’t worry, Jay. Any training you need, we're your guys.” Grey smiles. He leans to me. “Better get used to saying Yes, sir.”

I narrow my eyes and he cackles as he slaps my back. Him and Wes leave the showers and I try to release my fist balled at my side.

Carmichael, another of my friends, had been eavesdropping. "Hey man. Don’t listen to those dicks. You alright?"

I glance at him. "I'm fine." I grumble.

Devon. He’s another friend, but kind of a weird dude. His shower was across from mine. "Slumped shoulders. Dark exterior. Broody demeanor. He's got it bad."

I turn and glare at him.

He smirks and bounces his brows.

Carmichael flicks his head between the two of us. "What? What he got? Is it contagious?"

Devon snorts. "Not unless you've had your heart ripped out by someone of the female persuasion." He motions his chin to me.

I shake my head, turn around and grab my cloth.

Carmichael’s brow goes up. "Dude, you got dumped?"

"No." I wash my chest. "I dumped her."

"I don't get it." He looked confused. "Shouldn't you be a little happier?"

"Never mind." I grunt.

Devon finishes rinsing his blonde hair. "He probably didn't want to. Most likely forced. Am I right?"

I quickly wash and rinse my hair and get out of there. The last thing I want to do is talk about Sarah. I slam my locker open and throw my shower kit inside, proceeding to dry myself. Of course, I'm followed.

Carmichael back hands my arm and sits next to me. "Come on, man. Why would someone be forced to dump their girlfriend?"

Devon, whose locker was on the other side of mine, threw his cargos on. "What? Daddy didn't like you?”

I stood up quick, grabbing him by the throat and slammed him into the lockers. Lifting him slightly off the ground. My jaw ticked and my eyes narrowed. "Never. Mind." I grit.

Carmichael stood at my arm. "Damn, Bro. Ok, just relax. We'll back off. Ain't that right, Dev?" He nodded to Devon. Sᴇaʀch Thᴇ FindNʘᴠᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

"Yep. Sensitive subject. Got it." Devon chokes.

I ripped my arm off him and went back to getting dressed.

"Ok. You don't want to talk. At least let us get you drunk. It might make you feel better. They have a small little mess bar here that's open Saturday nights." Devon slaps my back as I tie my boots. "We'll go in, sit. Pound back a few. Maybe a little something will happen. Who knows. But, this…” He runs a finger through the air up and down me. “Dude, you're killing yourself slowly."

I throw my t shirt on and run my hands through my wet hair. "Not interested." I say in a monotone voice, turn and leave the locker-room.

Carmichael and Devon both flank my sides. "Man. Come on. We're not saying it'll fix it. Just, you know... it will help you forget some things for a while."

"Don't you two have work?" I grumble as I head to the briefing room.

Devon scratches his head. "We're going where you're going." He points down the hall to where I’m headed.

"Wonderful." My eyes narrow and looks straight ahead.

Brad runs up and joins me at my side. "I think this mission is huge. They've called everyone." He slaps my chest.

Devon pulls Brad back to him. "Man, tell your boy to come out with us Saturday so he can drown his moody ass."

Brad looks at Devon and then to me. I slowly shake my head no. My eyes squint and my mouth goes small.

Brad smiles nervously. "Couldn't hurt." He shrugs.

Devon back hands my arm. "See?"

I stop, turn sharply and shoot him a threatening look.

Devon throws his hands up in surrender. "Ok. You think about it."

As we enter the packed conference room, Devon would not shut his mouth. We sat at an empty table and he sat across from me, talking. As I sink into my chair, I close my eyes and grit my teeth. I'm thinking if he doesn't close his mouth in the next five seconds, I'm going to kill him.

"They have a little dancefloor in there... The ladies dress all nice..." He motions his hands down his body, wiggling it. "...The Dj spins great tracks... Oh! Sometimes they have Karaoke. You like Karaoke?"

I lean on the table, narrowing my eyes. "Shut. Up." I growl under my breath.

He leans back on the back of his chair, turning toward the front of the room. "Ok. We'll talk later." He grins and waves me off.

I close my eyes and shake my head. I sit back, fold my arms and focus my attention on the podium.

Honestly, right now, I hope this is a long mission. I can throw myself into it and not think of Sarah for a while. As impossible as it may be.

The room begins to buzz as the Alphas file into the room with an entourage of people. Alpha Fredericks is flanked by Alpha Andrews and Alpha Blake. The cocky bastard that started me on this road trip to hell in the first place. If I'd just got his job, I wouldn't be here right now wanting to shred this entire room.

But then I wouldn't have met my beautiful Sarah. The one person the planet that makes my existence mean something. So, as much as it pains me to say it, I have to thank him for at least that.

I push the thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on the meeting. Whatever it is, it's a good one. I scan the room. They've called all the teams out,

Fredericks gets up to the podium, opens a file and holds a remote to the projector. The screen set up behind him. "Good morning." He clears his throat.

He continues. "This briefing will be the next mission due to deploy in three weeks' time. Based on intel we have received; the Dragons have been remobilized."

What? That was quick.

The room mumbles.

"From our intel, they now have a new Alpha." He clicks the remote. A picture of Desmond White is posted. His almost black eyes glaring into the soul of everyone here. "Desmond White. Originally thought to be the Dragon's Gamma, now believed to be their Alpha. We have a location on where he will be and where we can capture him."

He clicks the button. "The abandoned town of Black Lake. It’s surrounded by forest on three fronts. Intel says White, with an army of Dragons and Rogues are headed to this town. Assuming to wipe it out and make a claim on the area. What they don’t know is we've already evacuated the residents to a top secret location. There will be nothing to leverage when the Dragons arrive. That’s when we'll strike."

As I look at the aerial photo of my home, my hands ball into fists on the table. My jaw hurts from how hard I'm clenching it. Anger boils in the pit of my gut. Hearing the word abandoned has my wolf tearing at my ribcage.

Brad nudges me. "Dude, your eyes." He says quietly.

I look at him and see a faint glow of blue on his skin. My wolf is showing. I close my eyes and push him down into his cage inside me before he can tear through.

The Alpha speaks again. "We have two weeks to prepare and we engage in three. We’ll have no worries about civilian casualties as the Alpha of Black Lake assures me everyone has been evacuated. We will mobilize and use the town as a front. As we speak, teams are in the town and are getting equipment ready. What you will do, is get organized, find your orders and be ready to move when we tell you. Any questions?"

He looks around the room. No one has any.

He nods. "Ok. Report to your leaders and good luck." He closes his book and walks out of the room. River glances at me and smiles.

I give him the most hate-filled smile I can muster. Pompous prick.

"I don't get it. Why do we have to wait for them there? Why not hit them now?" Brad leaned over to me, whispering.

I stare at the photo of my town. "The packs aren't joined yet. They want to get everyone in one place then hit them."

Brad looks at me confused. "How do you know this?"

"I know things." I stand up and head for the door.

Brad jogs to catch up. "Ok, you know things. We going to win?"

"I think so. We have the manpower." I walk to the Mission Unit building.

Brad nods. "Well, that's good, I guess. Hey. You... um... seemed a little angry back there. You, ok?"

I stop and turn to him. "No. No, I'm not."

He crosses his arms. "Oh. Ok. What's going on?"

"That town we're about to destroy...." I stop, turn to him and thumb back to the room.

Brad nods.

"It's mine." I grumble, turn back and continue walking.

"Oh. Oh, shit." He jogs back up to my side. "Shit. Sorry, Dude."

I shake my head. "Not your fault. It's mine. I couldn't protect my pack. I tried so damn hard. In the end, my pack died because their Alpha is too weak."

Brads eyes go wide. "Dude. Your packs still out there. You can't fold yet."

I rub my neck. "Without the Alliance, we won't last. We have no other choice but to join the other packs to survive. It's over."

"Dude." Brad stuffs his hands in his pockets.

If we survive.

It's the only thing I can hope for.

The Blake Lake pack is no more. They’ll spread across the Alliance. Some may even develop rogue sickness and die. Another success for Torrent, may he rot in hell.

I pray so hard that Sarah, her family, my family will still be together in the end. At least that much, I can hold on to.

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