The Kings Mate
Chapter 17:

After a short time she pulls back, an arm still around my waist as the other pulls at a lock of my hair. “You look so different sweetheart.” Her voice is soft as she tries to hold back more tears. “You’re still the same but you just look so much more mature and just happy.”

She looked exactly the same. She was only twenty three when I left and she looked like the same as if the last time I saw her was only yesterday. Her nails were still perfectly manicured though they were now a muted tan colour with accents of black and whatever face cream she used kept everything where it was supposed to be was working. Her black hair was pulled up in a sleek ponytail that highlighted her perfect eye liner.

Her eyes flick over to Ryder moving over him in a slow sensual sense before they come back to me with a secret smirk. “And you’ve got this one here as well. He’s drop dead gorgeous and to top it all off he’s a King and you’re going to marry him.”

Chuckling lightly I look over at Ryder to see his eyes concentrated on me. When I feel Heidi take my hand playing with the large diamond that Ryder had told me was once actually Jordena’s herself. She gasps at the large sparkly rock and I notice that she has her own plus a wedding ring stacked on top.

“If it’s ok with you, your future hubby invited me to your wedding and this big coronation thing.” Her hand runs over my arm as she asks to attend the new beginning of my life.

“Of course you can,” My voice rises in pitch and she laughs at the sound with a small squeeze of my arm. “What about you? When did you get married?”

“Before you start catching up do you want to move this into the living room?” Ryder states more than asks as he pulls me back to the living area. My guards where no longer sat on the lounge and had moved elsewhere and once Ryder is happy that I’m comfortable he goes off to join them.

“I was nervous when he came into Carlett and told me that you two were engaged but he treats you exactly the way I hope he would have.” Her hand rubs over my knee and she continues to fight back her tears. She always cared for me like a mother should. “I hated seeing you in that place, especially after what happened to you. Does he know about what happened?”

My chest clenches at the memories she’s causing to resurface. Henry comes into the room with a cup of tea that he sits down in front of Heidi and a cup of water for me. Ryder and Riley had cut me back on anything that had caffeine in it and that included the coca that was in the hot chocolates that I liked.

Nodding once Henry is gone, she lets out a deep sigh. “I kept having episodes and he was always and still is there to calm me down.” When she gives my leg a rub I catch another glimpse of her rings. “You’re married.”

“Yeah,” she smiles a hand rubbing over her stomach. “Josh and I were only together for a few months before you left so I never got to tell you but he’s amazing. It’s coming up on our three year anniversary.” When she rubs her stomach again she notices my eyes on her hand. “Josh doesn’t know yet but I’m eight weeks along and we already have an eighteen month old boy. I just don’t want to tell him yet in case something happens. There’s always a high risk of miscarriage. Are you ready to get married though, you seem nervous about it.”

“I love him and I want to be his wife but I’m scared and after we’re married I’m supposed to get pregnant so he can have an heir and,” I can’t take my eyes of her caring hand caressing her stomach.

“It’s ok. Becoming a mother to Colin scared the crap out of me. I had spent most of my life watching you girls and you especially and when I couldn’t protect you from what happened it was all I could think about and that I wouldn’t be able to protect to him either and I still think about everyday but then I come home to my amazing husband and a smiling baby and it all seems easier. It’s going to be shit sweetheart but you’ve got a great partner and sometimes it’s going to be hard and you’re going to make mistakes but you’re going to have a lot of people behind you and if you want I’ll be one of them.”

Tears fall from my eyes as I lean forward to wrap my arms around her as I nod my head. She was always brutally honest with me at times and her words did nothing to reassure me that everything was just going to be fine and dandy but that wasn’t what she was trying to do.

“It’s going to hurt.” I whisper against the pale skin of her neck.

“What will?”

Even though I was getting closer to Colette I didn’t feel the same connection to her that I do with Heidi.

“Ryder’s the first guy I’ve ever kissed and after the wedding we’re going to,”

Heidi chuckles pulling back as she smirks at me lightly. “Yeah it will hurt because I can tell what that boys got going on down there is nowhere near being small or at least average and once your past the initial pain you’ll feel the most pleasurable you’ve ever felt.”

When I tilt my head at the disturbing image she laughs and takes another sip of her tea which I realise has a calming scent to it. She sits talking with me about random topics for about an hour before Ryder returns telling us that he’ll take us to lunch but Heidi says she has to get back to Carlett but that she’ll see me at the ball in three days.

“She’s a very vocal person,” Ryder says as he sits back down next to me on the lounge where Heidi was just sat.

“She always knows what to say.” Leaning into him he runs his hand over my thigh.

“Did she help you with anything?” He seems more concentrated on my jeans and my legs as he runs a hand up my thigh getting closer and closer to the crevice in between my legs.

“She helped me with what’s going through your head at the moment.” His hand freezes when I say that sliding down so it sits back on my knee. “Aren’t we supposed to be going to lunch?”

“Yes but I have another idea of what we can do.” He smirks at me pulling me in closer to him by the back of my knee.

“You can wait two weeks,” smiling I push his hair back from his eyes as he leans over me.

“I can still kiss you though,” I don’t even have time to nod before his lips are moving against mine softly as he pulls me to lie underneath him his hand sliding beneath my shirt so it can slide over the skin of my hip.

***

The last few days with Ryder were great. We had experienced an actual normal relationship for a few days. Well it was sought of normal if you could ignore the five, six foot plus muscled guys that were never too far away from us they helped us to evade a number of short stumpy people who were desperate to get a picture of us.

Now I was sat back in the massive ensuite with a hair and makeup artist behind me since Ellie was still in Jordena. Already she had pulled up my hair into a masterpiece of curls that sat at the back of my head with a few lose strands hanging around my face to frame it. She worked slowly on my face keeping everything natural with a faint glow but my eyes she tried to make more dramatic with dark liner and perfectly blended dark smoky eye.

It took her nearly an hour and half and a majority of the time I kept staring at the dress in the mirror. The deep purple amethyst colour caught my eye as soon as someone walked in dressed completely in black hung it over the door and left without acknowledging me at all.

The dress plunged deeper than what I thought I would be comfortable with but the way that the skirt effortlessly flowed and the lace detail was gorgeous. Once I’m covered with a number of layers of hairspray and finishing powder the woman helps me up from the chair and over to the immaculate dress.

“Do you want me to help you into it?” She questions with a soft accent.

When I nod gently she pulls the dress from the hanger as I remove the dressing gown I had on. Her warm hands are soft as the material is slid up my body. The dress falls from me easily like it was made for me. The soft folds of the skirt tickle against the smooth shaved skin of my legs. The woman who I hadn’t learnt the name holds my hand as she slides a pair of nude strappy heels on my feet.

“You look beautiful your majesty.” She says as she gently adjusts my hair and makeup.

The bristles of the brush tickle my skin as she adds a bronze and a glimmer down the deep neckline and up over my shoulders. The small draft that is moving through the room raises goose bumps to cross over my back and shoulders where only a thin delicate layer of lace covers my skin.

“Really?” I ask a hand on my stomach as I try to settle the uneasiness that I feel.

“Of course you are. You’re our queen. All werewolves have a good gene pool so it makes sense that the highest ranked pairing are amazingly gorgeous so that beauty can be passed down to your children.”

“Thank you,” I whisper my hand still rubbing gently over my stomach. She smiles at me as she spots the location of my hand. “Not yet,” I say dismissing the thoughts I can see running through her head.

“I apologise, I’m just one of those she-wolves that’s a hopeless romantic when it comes to the alphas and Luna’s. Speaking of which I’ll let you get back to your handsome mate whose just outside that door waiting for you.” She squeezes my arm before she takes my hand to help me out to the other room.

Ryder and Reynolds are in the bedroom talking quietly between them as Ryder anxiously adjusts the cuffs of his white undershirt. He was in a crisp black suit with a tie in the same deep purple of my dress and from the reflection I can see the medals pinned to his lapel that signal him as a part of the Jordenian royal family.

Reynolds notices me first and leaves the room along with the stylist who makes her way back to tidy up all her stuff. Ryder gives Reynolds a confused look before his head turns back towards my direction. He looks lost for breathe as I slowly walk towards him with a soft smile on my face.

“I look weird don’t I?” I ask sheepishly when I’m stood in front of him.

Ryder exhales a breath before the warmth of his hands penetrates through the silky material of the dress as his hands lowers to my waist pulling my body into his slightly. Once my body is pressed against his he slides up a hand to gently run it down the side of my perfectly manicured cheek, his touch like always sending a shock of pleasurable wave’s down my spine.

Shaking his head Ryder leans down his breathe hitting against my lips. “No, you are so beautiful but you always are. Today you’re just extra beautiful and I just want to kiss you but I don’t think we have the time.”

With the feeling of having his lips so close to mine without him actually kissing me I get lost in my thoughts and I only just recognise what he says before he’s pulling back away from me. Before he can get away from me I hook a finger through the belt loop of his dress pants my finger rubbing against the expensive leather or his belt.

“One more thing, but this can’t be handled by anyone other than us, the royal family or anyone that directly serves us like your guards and Ellie, ok?” My head seems to nod itself as Ryder pulls me into the walk in wardrobe.

“Close your eyes,” Doing as he says I almost groan when I feel the warmth of his touch disappear.

With one sense out of use I concentrate on my hearing which had been enhanced by my mate bond with Ryder. I hear his soft breathing as something heavy slides out of the way. There’s a small pause before there’s a soft clinking noise and it’s another second later that I sense the shift in the weight of his feet as something heavy is placed on top of my head. I hear the heavy sliding again before Ryder steps up behind me his hands skimming over my waist as I feel his breathe now glazing over my neck.

“You can open them now.” His voice is directly in my ear and I supress a moan from the close contact.

When my eyes open I’m met by my reflection and I look so different from what I had only minutes ago when I had first gotten a look at myself. I had felt more mature. I had actually felt that I could be what Ryder had wanted me to be. What everyone had wanted me to be and it was all because of the ring of diamond ivy leaves and single stoned berries that had been placed within the frame of my dark her perfectly. I had a crown and I knew I was a Queen.

I could see why he had said that it could only be handled by only a small number of people. Judging by the weight of it, it isn’t cheap. The delicate diamonds catch every fracture of light throughout the room as I tilt my head to get a look at it at different angles.

“This is the smaller crown that you will wear to functions like this but for the coronation and other things that will be associated with our family and our country you’ll wear the larger one and that is to only be handled by you, me or Ellie, no one else.” His voice is still soft in my ear as his hands ghost over my hips in a light caress.

If this was the smaller crown then I was nervous to be seeing the larger one. I was nervous about protecting something valuable in a room that was going to be full of people.

“Reynolds and Cole will never be more than two meters away from you tonight and your other guards won’t be far behind. I’m going to try to not leave your side at all but I might have to and if I do, do not talk to anyone that Cole doesn’t approve of.” Nodding my head gently so I don’t disturb the already secured crown I agree to his words. I’m not comfortable with talking with people I don’t know anyway.

Ryder smiles at the movement his hands taking a more secure hold on my waist as he turns me to face him. Tilting my head back so I can look him in the eyes he lifts his hand again so he can play with the loose curl.

“Everyone else can just wait.” His voice is husky and comes from deep within his throat hinting at what he’s feeling as he leans forward to press his lips softly against mine.

His lips softly caress mine as his hands stay rested on the small of my back holding me into him for nearly two whole minutes before someone is knocking against the door to get us back on the schedule that we were now running late on.

When he disconnects the contact he smiles at the soft sigh I release at the loss of his connection. I let out a small chuckle as I lift my hand to wipe at the small colouring of lipstick on his lips. He smiles softly at my touch before his hand is pressed against the small of my back again.

His arm moves to wrap around my waist and secure me to his side as he leads me out of the room and towards the lift, the head to toe black suit clad guards only a step behind us. They’re faces are stern and hyper aware of everything that is going on around them readying themselves to fight the inevitable. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Findɴovel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“When we get out of the car there will be photographers and I wanted to be pictured with you by my side if that’s okay with you.” He says with a smile squeezing my hand. I don’t have the words to reply to him so I just give him a single nod back.

***

Ryder and I were sat in the back seat of the limo again that had the Jordenian flags on the front of it. Cole and Reynolds were in the SUV in front of us and the others were behind us and that was all lead by a police escort.

I had both of my hands wrapped around one of Ryder’s which was sat in my lap. He was watching me carefully as my nerves over what was about to happen grew by the second. I had jewellery on but the large diamond of the engagement ring were where my eyes were drawn to and it was making me a little self-conscious that everyone’s eyes would be drawn to it and the relationship that I have with him now will be in such a large spotlight.

The only way I was getting through all of this was because of him and I think he realised how much I needed him by my side at this point of my life. His thumb gently runs over the back of my hand the small shocks that only travels a short distance up my arm are a calming source as we wait to arrive.

“We can go in through the back if you want. Everyone that will be at the ball are private people and won’t bug you if you don’t want them to.”

My eyes flick up to his when he speaks. So far the car ride had been silent and his deep voice disturbing the silence had shocked me a little. It all seemed simple. Get out of the car and smile and it was all over but I had such a sheltered life and know I was going to be thrusted in front of everyone. It was a lot to take in.

“Can we go in the back if it’s not too much of a trouble?” He chuckles lightly at the soft tone of my voice and I pull at his arm causing him to chuckle even more. When he nods I let out a sigh of relief I didn’t know I was holding. He leans over pressing a kiss to my head as he bumps his knee with mine.

“I’m a king gorgeous, I can do a lot besides most countries don’t want to be on our bad side, we’re good allies but dangerous enemies.” He leans back in his seat more comfortable now that I am.

“Are you a good ally with England?” I had distanced myself so much from the place but it was still my home and I didn’t want to lose it.

“We are. It’s a good thing to, I’ve spoken to Elizabeth and she’s quite content that someone of British citizenship will take the Jordenian throne.”

“Elizabeth as in the queen, Elizabeth,” My jaw drops at the fact that he had talked to royalty.

Ryder chuckles again and pulls my hands that are wrapped around his into his own lap sending warmth through me. “Yeah, I talk to queens every day, one specifically named Charlotte but she likes me to call her Lottie.” His eyebrows pull up in amusement and I drop my head to his shoulder. “Come on your Majesty, we’re here now.”

Reynolds and Cole open the door of the limo to let us out and I’m glad to see that the only people around are our guards and not the herds of people that for the past week have desperately tried to get a picture of Ryder all week. I had seen magazines that had pictures of him plastered all over the front covers with headlines that suggested that he was no longer the bachelor that everyone thought he was and that if it were true, millions of girl’s hearts across the world would be broken.

When Ryder had caught me reading it he wasn’t happy and told me that I was to never worry about what they had published in them, that he loved me and that nothing any of them had written would ever affect that. I thought he was losing it a little bit when it happened but I just smirked at the way he was worrying over me leaving him when it was usually me that was worrying about our relationship.

As we walk into the back entrance he wraps an arm tightly around my waist to hold me to his side. The bond between us was growing stronger the closer that we got to the wedding and the completion of our mating bond and I could feel the nerves rolling off him in thick waves.

“Ryder,” Cole clears his throat gently beside Ryder when we arrive at a set of large double doors that lead into what must be the ballroom. “You mustn’t forget proper tradition.”

The two British guards at the door eye us for a second before Ryder clears her throat and they divert their eyes. With a sigh and a small acknowledgment towards Cole, Ryder’s arm disappears from around my waist and pulls my arm so I can wrap my hand around his elbow. All the lessons about proper etiquette that Allie had drilled into my head had come back to me and I hold onto Ryder the way I know I’m supposed to.

“Not for long baby, only for a few minutes.” He whispers as he nods at the two door guards and they open the doors for us.

I follow him into the large expanse of the ballroom. We’re stood at the top of the stairs that lead down to the main marble floor that is flooded with people in expensive dresses and suits with a wide range of colours.

A man in a suit at the top of the stairs takes a deep breath before he hits the foot of his staff against the pristine floor gaining the attention of everyone around. “His royal highness the crowned King of Jordena, Ryder and his fiancée, future crowned Queen of Jordena Charlotte.”

My hand tightens around Ryder’s arm as audible gasps fill the room at the title that I had just been labelled. Looking up at Ryder he smiles gently before he tugs at my arm and we start down the stairs.

‘They’re all looking at me.’ I try to get the thoughts into his head as I concentrate on my steps so I don’t tumble down them.

‘You won’t feel it as strongly as they do because my claim links you to me but they can sense the power that my wolf emits and they can feel it through you as well. You’re also the most gorgeous girl in this room.’ I chuckle lightly but when my eyes scan over the room I see a number of people giving a subtle nod of their head towards us and how others seem to fidget on their feet.

When we reach the foot of the stairs Ryder moves his arm so mine falls to his side but he’s quick to regain the physical contact with me as he slides his arm back around my waist. It was barley a minute before he kept his promise of getting his arm back around my waist.

Instantly someone walks up to Ryder and they bow at him and me before he holds out his hand towards Ryder. I see the strength that Ryder imposes in the hand shake and I see the other man try to hold his face steady and not show the pain.

“Long time no see Ryder.” He says when he gets his hand back. “Last time I saw you, you had a blonde attached to your arm.” Ryder tenses at the man’s words and I risk a quick glance up at him. “This one however, you’re attached to her and you seem happy about it.”

A smile pulls at my lips at his words and the way Ryder draws me in closer to his side. The man notices the action and he gets his own smile. He bows again to me before he leaves us alone. When I turn to look up at Ryder again I see Cole and Reynolds stood behind us trying to hide their smirks as they survey the room.

He was completely mine.

It’s another thirty minutes of being introduced to people that I don’t bother to remember the names of before Ryder leads me over to the main area of the ball room where couples are being spun around. I’m reluctant to allow him to pull me over there but once we get to the centre all the watchful eyes seem to disappear as I’m pressed against him and his hand is pressed against my back.

I’d had three dance lessons with Ryder for the wedding, with Allie being the one to teach us. She had always tried to create a small distance between us but Ryder had always eyed her and once she turned he’d pull me back in so I was pressed completely against him like I am now.

“Do you have to do this a lot?” I ask him as I let him lead me through the few easy steps that I knew.

“Not like this no.” He grabs one of my hands that I had wrapped around his neck to hold it at our side. “This is usually just a chance for everyone to gather and to get the chance to start treaty’s and form allies. We’ll have one later but it won’t be for a while.”

Without warning Ryder drops his hand from my back and spins me with his other. A laugh leaves my mouth when I fall back against his chest and he chuckles down at me quickly dipping his head so he can press a kiss to my lips before anyone can take notice of it.

Our conversation is light as he happily spins me through three more songs. We had gained the attention of everyone around us. Most of them had romantic looks on their faces but I could see that some younger women that were standing off to the side in groups were glaring at me. I could tell that they wanted Ryder and I was glad to know that I was the one he had a tight and possessive hold on.

“Ryder,” When Cole interrupts Ryder sighs in frustration but when a small laugh leaves my mouth his features soften. “I’ve been trying to contact you but you’ve blocked me out. Elizabeth wishes to speak with you.”

Cole suddenly seems tenser now as he stands behind Ryder with his hands locked behind his back. Ryder turns to him and the way that they look at each other I can tell that they are communicating through their mind link.

“Come on, you need to meet her.” His hand wraps back around my waist.

The walk to where the queen was felt long and time seemed to be moving in slow motion. From where we were I could see her easily. Her dark brown hair was pulled up similarly to mine but she had strands that feel down the back of her neck to cover the exposed skin of her shoulder blades in her glinting gold dress.

I had grown up hearing about her. She was only in her early thirties but the way that she held herself even from across a room someone would know she’s powerful. I was like her now. I had an entire country in the palm of my hands and it was up to Ryder and me to make sure we kept it safe.

She smiles when we get closer and her eyes move down Ryder in a lustful way before they move over to me. I can’t quite figure out what the look she gives me means but it quickly disappears as she smiles at me and leans in for a hug. I seem shocked when her arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into her.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” she says in a soft voice as she pulls back away from me. “When Ryder told me a couple of weeks ago that he wasn’t coming because he had finally met his ’mate’ I didn’t think I’d see him again for a while. I’m glad you came though it’s lovely to see that someone born here will take the throne of such a powerful country.” She says the word mate in such a quiet voice I doubt anyone that had werewolf senses within a meters radius would have heard her.

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” It’s the only words I can think to say to her but she doesn’t seem to be annoyed with the little sentence.

Elizabeth turns to the two people at her side. The couple looks to be in their late forties, the man with grey streaks through the sides of his head and sharp features is more concentrated on Ryder where the women with her dead straight brown hair watches me softly a smiling pulling up at her lips.

Ryder seems to know the man as he reaches out to shake his hand. This man’s grip is stronger than the last and doesn’t flinch at all but Ryder seems to be gentle this time.

“Charlotte, this is Acton and Brylee Darlington they are the lords and ladies of the British council, they are very high up workers in the united kingdom’s government and anything that happens between Elizabeth is transferred through Acton.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Charlotte. We’ve heard so much about you.” Acton leans forward much like Elizabeth but Acton presses a small kiss to my cheek and my heart speeds up at the gesture.

When Acton pulls back he looks at his wife in question. All she does is lean forward and rub my arm gently. “You look a bit overwhelmed sweetheart and you’re comfortable in Ryder’s arms there so I’ll leave him to it.” Smiling gently back at her I lean further into Ryder.

“Are we going to talk about this deal?” Ryder begins his voice more serious.

“Yes, I have a room organised,” Her eyes flick back over to me again before she continues. “All of us.”

“No just you, Acton and Brylee if she wishes to join.” Ryder says his eyes moving over to the petite woman.

She nods her hand squeezing the crook of his elbow as she bows towards Ryder at the same time. Elizabeth passes the flute of what must by champagne to a servant behind her. She dips her head towards Ryder before her, Acton and Brylee make their way from the ballroom but Ryder stays standing with me as he nods at my past queen as well.

“What deal?” I question Ryder softly trying not to move my lips knowing that everybody has their eyes on us.

“I’ll tell you later,” His voice is tense as his warmth disappears from around my waist and he takes my hand.

He goes to pass my hand over to Reynolds who is standing at my side but I don’t allow him to let me go. “Will you actually tell me?” I could see that he wasn’t going to tell me. I didn’t know how but the roughness of his voice was a big hint.

“Lot…”

Sliding my hand from Ryder’s I drop it into Reynolds still outstretched hand. I see his eyes move to Ryder in question before his fingers wrap around mine. Before Reynolds has time to lead me away Ryder’s hand comes up to cup my cheek.

“It’s not something you need to know yet. You are experiencing so much at the moment and I don’t want to add to it.” My eyes stay locked with his as I try to force him to tell me. “I’m not telling you. Hands only,” his eyes are on Reynolds before he walks away with a brush of his thumb over my cheekbone.

My eyes watch him as he leaves the room following after the group with just Cole following behind him. With Cole gone Charlie replaces him from his spot hidden amongst the crowd. “Do you want to dance?” Reynolds smiles down at me he looks way too excited and when I raise an eyebrow he chuckles at me.

“Hands only,” I repeat with a teasing smile as he leads me back to the dance floor.

Ryder had taken longer than I expected and while he was gone Reynolds had stuck by my side the entire time. Heidi had come to talk to me while he was gone and I got to meet her partner. He was a lot like I expected someone for her would be. He stood there smiling at her as she talked about herself. Heidi had always talked about herself and he looked happy to stand there in awe about her.

When Ryder had come back he seemed tense and lost in his thoughts but he had still come back to wrap his arm around my waist again and I had let him. He hadn’t spoken till we had returned to the hotel and I had pulled the heavy crown from my head and the cramp in my neck was starting to grow.

“Ryder,” he was perched on the edge of the bed playing with his hands nervously. I had changed into a pair of shorts and a simple shirt of his that had such a strong lingering scent of Ryder I knew he’d must have been wearing it this morning.

He was still in his suit and had only loosened his tie from around his neck. His eyes stayed on my body as I got closer to him. I was angry after he had left me without telling me what he was doing and how quiet he was when he had returned but his silence is scaring me now.

When my slow steps land me in front of him he parts his legs and pulls me in so I’m pressed to his chest. His hands are on my hips and I can see as he bunches up the shirt in his hands before he lets it go, he wants to rub his hands over my skin but he’s second guessing it.

Running my hands through his hands I try to get him to look at me but he continues to stare at his hands. “Ryder,” I repeat. “What’s wrong?”

“I love you, you know that.” His chest is rising and falling and it’s pulling against his shirt.

Tightening my hand around his jaw I force him to meet my eyes. “I do and you better know that I love you too and I’m worried about you. What’s wrong?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Is that about what happened in that meeting with Elizabeth?” I say trying to keep my voice even. His secrecy hurt but he had my safety and happiness in mind when he thought about how it would affect me.

He nods trying to remove his chin from my hold but I tighten my grip again. “If you think it’s best for me not to know at this moment then it’s ok but please tell me at some point.”

Ryder seems shocked by my admission. He falls back on the bed with a deep exhale pulling me with him and I collapse on his chest. I was still nervous about this secret that was worrying him so much but once he had stripped the suit and gotten in the bed behind me I had relaxed but there was still so much making me nervous.

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