The Love of the Wielder (The Wielders Book Two)
Chapter Five

Maren stayed in bed the rest of the day. It was cathartic. She realized she had not been as restful as she should have been for the number of injuries she had, and was glad for the day to do nothing. She tried to think about what Alec had told her, and it did help alleviate some of her guilt. She still felt it, and she felt her grief for Donovan, but it felt less overwhelming.

Alec stopped by before dinner to bring her a new glass bottle of white pills he said were stronger and would help her sleep better. She ate a light dinner in her rooms and took one.

That night, she slept very soundly and was extremely relieved to wake up after the sun had risen. She did not dream at all. She felt more peaceful than she had in ages. She didn’t feel happy, but for the first time since leaving the palace, she felt like she might be alright eventually.

She did feel a bit queasy which was unpleasant but thought that was either nerves or a lingering effect from the sleeping pill.

She allowed Jenny to help her dress for breakfast. She was a bit nervous about seeing Jonathan after hiding in her rooms the day before, but she knew he would probably treat her with the same slightly embarrassing kindness as he always had.

When she arrived in the dining room, Alec was the only one there.

“Ah! She’s risen from the dead!” he proclaimed with a grin.

She chuckled. “As much as I hate to admit that you’re right about anything, a good night’s sleep does do wonders.”

“Coffee?” he asked.

She nodded and gratefully accepted the cup from Alec, but when she went to drink from it, she recoiled. The smell of the coffee that she normally thoroughly enjoyed suddenly turned her stomach. She set it down, deciding that she probably needed to eat before having any.

“Good morning,” Jonathan said as he came into the dining room.

Maren turned to him and smiled. “Good morning.”

She decided that if the worst thing about her current situation was that she actually liked the man she was supposed to marry, that wasn’t too bad. She was still deeply uncomfortable with the whole thing, but felt that she could at least make the most of the situation.

Jonathan sat beside her at the head of the table. “I’m delighted to see you’re feeling better,” he said.

She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

He suddenly had a very odd expression on his face and seemed to be studying her. She looked away, uncertain as to what he was thinking.

Fortunately, breakfast continued in a pleasant manner. Her stomach still felt a bit “off” but she ate well enough. Although she never did feel like having the coffee and it went untouched.

When they finished, Jonathan surprised her by asking if he could speak with her.

“Of course,” she said. “Shall we go to my sitting room?”

He nodded and offered his arm to her. She took it, but began to feel very nervous. Did he want to ask her why she had behaved so oddly? Or had he changed his mind about the wedding? He seemed serious and it made her uneasy.

He waited until they were sitting before speaking.

“I have to tell you something that’s going to sound a bit mad, but I promise it’s important,” he said.

She thought that sounded very ominous, but nodded for him to continue.

“When I was first married, I discovered I have a rather unusual skill. Perhaps it’s to do with reading people well, I don’t know. But suffice it to say that whenever I encounter a woman who is with child, I can always tell,” he said.

Maren could not fathom why he might be telling her this, or why he might think it was important. She stared at him blankly.

“Ah…yes, well, I know what it sounds like but each and every time my first wife was pregnant I could tell before she knew, or at least was certain. I did learn with my daughters-in-law that people I am not married to do not usually appreciate being informed of that fact, so I generally do not comment on the matter. However, I have encountered a situation where I must address it.”

He was looking at her expectantly, as though he thought she would understand what he was saying. She did not. Had he perhaps gotten some other woman pregnant and was delicately trying to end their engagement?

He waited for a few moments before continuing. He seemed uncomfortable.

“Maren, I’m fairly certain…well, I know I’m right. You’re pregnant,” he said. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Find ɴøᴠel.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Her jaw dropped. The thought had not even occurred to her that was what he was trying to say.

“Excuse me?” she cried.

“I am so sorry, I recognize that I am the very last person you would want to hear this from, but I felt it couldn’t wait,” he said.

He seemed very apologetic, but that was little comfort to her.

“And you’ve been keeping this to yourself the whole week I’ve been here?” she cried.

“No, no, I only just saw this morning. I expect it’s very early. These things aren’t instantaneous, you know,” he said.

She was outraged. Of all the possible conversations she ever imagined having about her reproduction, having to convince someone she wasn’t pregnant wasn’t even on the list.

“Jonathan! I am not pregnant!” she shouted.

He was not at all phased by her anger.

“I am so sorry to be the one to tell you. I’d be furious with me too, but I promise I’m telling you the truth,” he said earnestly.

Maren remembered what Alec told her about his father being very irritating to have an argument with. He was correct.

“Jonathan! I cannot be pregnant, and I would like very much for you to cease this line of inquiry!” she shouted.

“Are you certain?”

“Positive!”

She glared at him, and he appeared to be studying her again. Then his face shifted, as though he’d realized something important.

“Oh, Maren, no wonder the business at the checkpoint was so terrifying,” he said with great sympathy. “And everything Kieran’s done…Gods, I am so sorry you’ve had to go through that.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, beginning to feel alarmed.

“Well, I just see now how much more difficult things have been for you than I thought,” he said.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Whatever you think you know, you don’t.”

She tried to sound definitive, but she was more and more worried every second.

He ignored her. “Don’t worry, I won’t turn you in.”

“I am sure you are not accusing me of what it sounds like you are accusing me,” she snapped.

Her heart was racing, and she had to clench her fists to keep from shaking. Still, somehow she managed to sound annoyed and not frightened.

He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “No, no, I’m not accusing you of anything. I just know you’re a Wielder.”

She leapt to her feet. “How dare you! Get out of here this instant!” she yelled.

“That was very good. Did you practice that?”

She had. For years, she practiced the perfect outrage to respond to such an accusation. Though she wasn’t about to tell him that. Instead, she glared down her nose at him, daring him to say more.

She was very frightened, though. Had she really given herself away that easily?

“Perhaps this will help: I’ll confess I told you something of a falsehood the other day. My twin sister, Margot, she was, or, I hope, is, a Wielder.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “She isn’t dead?”

“I hope not. Our father was warned that the Trackers were on to her. She ran away. I haven’t heard from her since, but I like to think she’s still out there,” he said in such a calm tone that they might have been discussing the weather.

She wasn’t sure she could believe him. It was certainly possible he had invented the story just to get her to confess. Either way, her course of action was clear.

“Get. Out,” she hissed.

He ignored her order. “You’re very good. I never would have guessed if we hadn’t been discussing pregnancy. And, well, I reasoned that if it was a medical matter, you would have just said so. I also saw your face when I asked about Prince Donovan, so I could make some educated guesses about the nature of your relationship, which left just one plausible explanation.”

She wanted to slap him.

“I suppose it isn’t something you’d be likely to admit to someone you only just met, but I am sorry I frightened you,” he said.

She stamped her foot in outrage. “I’m not frightened, I’m furious!”

“I can plainly see you’re both,” he said. “But please, sit down. You have nothing to worry about, not from me.”

“I am not a witch,” she snarled.

“No, of course not. I would never use such an ugly term,” he said. “I’d also note I could already turn you in if I wanted to, and if it was afraid of you or thought you were dangerous, I certainly wouldn’t be sitting here.”

He had a point.

“Please, sit,” he said.

She studied his face. She saw no malice or fear. He was either telling the truth or a good enough liar that it wouldn’t matter what she did. So, she sat, very cautiously.

“I am sorry. You don’t have to confirm or deny anything. It really isn’t my business,” he said.

She nodded curtly. It was the first thing he’d said since arriving in her sitting room that she could agree with.

“Suffice it to say, your assumptions are mutually exclusive,” she said.

He was not a fool. He had to know she couldn’t be pregnant and a witch.

But he shrugged. “I know what I know. There’s a lot of bad information about Wielders, isn’t there? I never once saw my sister steal a child or burn down someone’s house. I also haven’t ever heard anything in the pamphlets or books about Wielders being able to heal people, but my sister could.”

She was surprised. She did not think many people knew about a Light Wielder’s healing powers.

“So, perhaps the bit about barrenness is wrong, too. Or, there’s missing information. For example, what might happen if a Light Wielder and a Darkness Wielder are together? It’s possible that’s never happened…before.”

Maren’s eyes went wide. That was not something she had ever considered. Not a lot was known about how Darkness and Light interacted, and she had seen for herself how the forces behaved in unexpected ways together.

She shook her head, dislodging the idea. “An interesting point, but it’s irrelevant.”

He grimaced. “Maren… I cannot marry you if you’re pregnant with a royal baby. That would be perilously dangerous for everyone, especially the baby. And the timing alone…it would be obvious whose child it is,” he said.

“How very fortunate then that I am not pregnant,” she snapped.

He was completely unbothered by her outrage. It was very irritating.

“You seem remarkably unperturbed for a man who is convinced that the woman he is about to marry is pregnant with another man’s child,” she said.

He smiled. “Well, I’ll admit it would come as some disappointment, but I’m more than compensated by the prospect of a Wielder queen,” he said.

Her jaw dropped again. “Of all the very insane things you’ve said, that one is the most insane of all.”

“True, I don’t know the Prince that well, but he seems very honorable. I’m sure he’d want to marry you.”

She laughed bitterly. “Ha! He couldn’t even if he wanted to, and it doesn’t matter because even if he did, I cannot ever return to Court.”

He frowned. “Because of Kieran? I expect that would pose a problem. But surely, in light of the circumstances, something can be done about him.”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “If Kieran could have been dealt with, it would have already been done. He had absolutely no qualms about attempting to beat the truth out of me before I left the palace, and I can assure you he only hates me more now.”

“Because his checkpoint didn’t work?”

She shrugged. “Possibly. But he’s probably angrier because Donovan knocked him out cold and I…well, I was trying to escape, and I kneed him in the groin.”

She suppressed a smile at that. The situation had been terribly dire, but the memory of his wheezing was still satisfying, even if the aftermath had been terrifying.

“He was furious,” she said.

“I expect so,” Jonathan said. “But I’ll admit I’m pleased to hear you managed to deliver such a blow to him.”

Maren gave a small smile at that.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but can’t Prince Donovan use his powers to protect you?” Jonathan asked.

Maren sighed. “No. And the explanation is a terribly long story.”

“You have my undivided attention,” he said.

She sighed and then decided to tell him. She told him about sneezing at the Selection and being chosen by Donovan, saving his life and discovering that he’d chosen her to prevent Kieran from becoming more powerful, and the many things Kieran did to try to expose her. She did not discuss her relationship with Donovan in any detail, though.

“I don’t know if you have any frame of reference for this, but Kieran is exponentially more powerful than Donovan—probably even Donovan and me together. It’s…unnatural. But, suffice it to say, magic is not a defense against him,” Maren explained.

Jonathan nodded. “Sounds a bit like fighting someone with artillery and all you have is a pistol.”

Maren thought that was a decent analogy. “Something like that.”

“But in any case, I suppose since he knew I was about to leave, Kieran decided to make one last attempt to expose me. He said he also wanted to prove that Donovan had committed treason by helping me. Donovan intervened and got me away without Kieran getting any proof, but it was clear I needed to leave immediately,” she said, finishing her story. “And you know the rest.”

He looked genuinely sorry. “That’s quite an ordeal.”

She sighed. The whole thing had been exhausting, but she had also had some of the very best times in her life at Court. She had close friends and friendly acquaintances, and for the first time in a very long time saw someone appreciate her powers. She had gone from someone who shrunk from attention to someone who could be comfortable with it. And, of course, she had found out what it was like to be in love and to be loved in return.

“It’s complicated,” she said finally. There was no other way to summarize how she felt about her time at Court.

Jonathan nodded. He seemed to understand she had conflicting feelings about the entire thing.

“But you see, regardless of any conditions you believe I may be suffering from, I cannot go to Court,” she said.

“You do not have to. You’re under no obligation to have a baby even if you are pregnant.”

That was true. Possibly, one of the only positive impacts of a society that asked for occasional prostitution of some women was that such things were relatively simple to handle, at least for the nobility.

Only, Maren wasn’t sure she could take that route. She had never considered it before—after all, what would be the point of that—but if she was pregnant—and she wasn’t, so it was purely hypothetical anyway—but if she was, that would be something rather amazing. She wasn’t sure she could end the pregnancy.

And even if she could, did she want to? If she was pregnant—which she wasn't—but if she was, it was Donovan’s baby. She couldn’t in good conscience make that decision without him even if she wanted to end the pregnancy, and she was quite certain she did not.

So, the next question. Was there any possible merit to what Jonathan was saying?

Her instinct was a complete rejection of the notion. But she did think that Jonathan would not have even mentioned it if he wasn’t fairly certain. So if she put aside any magical modifications to her physiology, was it possible? She didn’t pay close attention to such things, it having been irrelevant the vast majority of her life. But once she did a bit of math, she realized it was possible. Not conclusive. But possible.

“You love him very much, don’t you?” Jonathan asked.

He had been sitting quietly, giving Maren time to think, and she had nearly forgotten he was still there. But he spoke gently, and without any reproach.

She nodded. There was no reason to deny it.

“If I may offer some advice?” he asked.

“I don’t think I’m really in a position to refuse you,” she said.

“Talk to Alec before you make any other decisions. Or, if you prefer, I can send for another physician. But there’s not much point in trying to determine ‘what if’ when there’s a relatively simple way of getting confirmation.”

Maren sighed. “That is rather difficult advice to argue with.”

“I thank you,” he said with amusement. “As I said, if I’m wrong, and you aren’t pregnant or if you become not pregnant, I will apologize profusely, and we can marry and never speak on the matter again. If not, then…well, I believe that’s between you and the Prince.”

“I accept the validity of your point,” she said.

He asked, “Shall I have Alec come to you?”

“Please,” she said.

It would possibly be an awkward thing to ask of Alec, but either way, he would hear about it, so it didn’t matter.

“Regardless of the outcome, please know you are welcome to stay here as long as you like, and I’m happy to help you however I can,” he said.

“I appreciate that,” she said. She really did.

He smiled at her and then began walking out of the room, but he stopped short of the door. “Are you feeling alright? If you’re nauseous, I could have some ginger tea sent up.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m fine. Has anyone ever told you that you are so kind, it’s irritating?” she asked.

He laughed. “Actually, yes.”

She sighed. “Thank you, Jonathan.” She thought it likely he would send up the ginger tea anyway.

Alec arrived a few minutes after Jonathan left.

“Are you alright? My father said you needed me. What’s wrong?”

She sighed. “Gods above, so many things. For starters, your father thinks I’m pregnant.”

He just blinked at her for a few moments before responding.

“Oh, his ’special skill.’ What did you tell him?”

“I so aggressively insisted that it was impossible that he guessed the truth,” she said.

Alec looked shocked. “He knows? And he…he didn’t turn you in?”

“Apparently not. Ask him about it,” she said. “Tell him you know.”

She did not think it was her place to tell Alec about his aunt.

“Ah…alright…did he still think you’re pregnant after you told him?” Alec asked.

Maren nodded. “He proposed that either the conventional wisdom is incorrect or that unexpected things happen when two Wielders are together.”

“And are either of those plausible to you?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Could you perform a test so that we could put the matter to bed?”

“Of course. I’ll need to go fetch a syringe, but everything else I require is in the infirmary. It won’t be an issue,” he said.

She was mildly surprised it would be that simple. Pregnancy testing was expensive and had been developed almost exclusively for the benefit of the royal family. But over the years it had proliferated into the higher echelons of the nobility, and it did make sense that Alec, a consummate professional, would ensure his father’s infirmary was well stocked.

“I thank you,” she said.

He left, but returned within a few minutes with a small black case of syringes and vials. He drew a bit of blood from her arm, which stung but didn’t hurt badly.

“Is it plausible to you that such a thing would not be noticeable to him until today?” she asked.

He nodded as he put away his syringe. “Certainly. If I test someone too early, it might be negative but then a week later, positive.”

She groaned. She was still hoping there was some sort of mistake.

“Speaking of which,” he said, not looking at her. “Are you late?”

She flushed, very much disliking every part of the conversation.

“Maybe a week or so. I’m not certain,” she said.

He nodded. “Well, we’ll see.”

“How long?” she asked.

“A few hours, you should rest, I’ll come back when there’s news,” he said and left.

She didn’t really feel like resting, so she curled up in the window seat with a book and pretended to read it. She hadn’t realized she’d dozed off until she heard knocking on her bedroom door.

“Come in!” she called.

Alec came into her room. She knew just by the fact that Alec had come through her sitting room to knock on her bedroom door what the answer was.

“You have got to be joking,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

He shook his head. “Jonathan Drake’s special skill is once again proven accurate.”

“Gods above,” she muttered.

She felt rather shocked. Even though she had begun to admit the possibility that Jonathan might have been right, she hadn’t really believed it. She still didn’t truly believe it.

“Can you run it again?” she asked.

Perhaps there had been some sort of error.

“I already am,” he said. “But, false positives are…unlikely.”

She groaned again.

“How did this happen?” she cried.

He sat at the opposite end of the window seat.

“Well, Maren, when a man loves a woman —“

“Thank you, Alec, that’s very helpful,” she snapped, rolling her eyes.

“Come now,” he said in a placating tone. “Surely, this isn’t such a bad thing. I know you two love each other very much.”

She sighed. “Alec, if love was enough, I never would have come here,” she said.

“Do you want to discuss medical options?” he asked in a very professional tone.

She knew that was the responsible thing to do was, only she wasn’t sure she could do it.

She shook her head. “Thank you, but not right now… I haven’t ruled it out, I just don’t want to talk about it.”

She still felt stunned and was beginning to feel very scared.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.

She suddenly felt she very desperately needed her mother.

“I can’t tell you what decisions to make, but I think the next step is rather obvious. You have to tell Donovan,” Alec said.

She wasn’t sure.

“I think the best thing for him is to handle things here and never tell him,” she said.

Alec gave her a deeply skeptical look. “I would strongly disagree with that, but even if you are correct, is that what’s best for you?”

In some ways, it was. She would be able to marry Jonathan and stay safe at Worthingham. But she also thought she’d have to live with the regret of what might have been for her whole life.

But if she had the baby, what would she do? She couldn’t marry Jonathan, and she didn’t think she could keep a baby safe from Kieran if she went home with her parents. She could perhaps go to the mountains, but she couldn’t raise a child there. That was no place to grow up.

No, the answer was obvious. She would have to give the baby to Donovan to raise with his wife, and hope Kieran never found out who its real mother was.

The thought was nearly as depressing as the medical options. But, maybe it would be some comfort to Donovan.

Jonathan said she could stay as long as she liked. Perhaps he would let her stay until the baby was born, and that would keep her relatively safe. Then she could go to the mountains; she doubted very much Kieran would follow her there.

“Should I send a telegram to him?” Alec asked.

She shook her head, trying not to cry. “I don’t think I could bear to see him. I’ll…ah… I’ll write him a letter when I decide what to do.”

“What to do?” Alec repeated, confused.

She sniffed and nodded.

“I really only have two options. I can either deal with it medically or…give the baby to Donovan to raise with his wife,” she said and, much to her fury, her voice cracked, and she began to cry.

“Maren! No, those are not your only options! I guarantee Donovan will marry you,” Alec said.

She shook her head. He didn’t understand.

“He can’t,” she breathed. “Not someone like me.”

He gave her a questioning look.

She sniffed and gritted her teeth to explain, “Because we don’t know how this happened or why this happened or if it can ever happen again. I doubt very much I can give him the heirs he has to have. It’s very possible this pregnancy will not give him a son or even a living child.”

Alec sighed. “It’s possible, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t still marry you.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want him to marry me because he has to.”

“You don’t think he’d want to?”

“I think he doesn’t understand what marrying me would mean. I think he’d come to regret it,” she said.

Alec blew out his breath. “Gods, Maren, I don’t know. I really think you’re wrong about this.”

The tears came rolling down her cheeks.

“And do you know how much danger I’d be in if he married me? A great deal,” she said, her voice wavering.

Alec didn’t respond. She knew he could not refute her.

She sniffed and tried to pull herself together.

“Would you please tell your father? Let him know I’ll have a decision for him soon. And if someone can come help pack my things, I’ll relocate to a guest room,” she said.

Alec looked surprised. “I’ll tell him if you want me to, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to change rooms. It’s not as though anyone else is waiting for this one.”

“Thank you. Would you tell him I’ll move if he'd like?”

She thought it only right that she offer.

Alec nodded. “Are you alright? I don’t feel like you should be alone right now.”

“I’m fine. I’d like to be alone,” she insisted.

“All right. I’ll come check on you in a bit. Are you sure you don’t want me to telegram Donovan?” he asked. He looked worried.

“Absolutely do not. Neither option requires his input,” she said firmly.

She knew that wasn’t entirely true, but she couldn’t bear to think about Donovan, and she knew she absolutely did not want to see him. Leaving him once was bad enough; she did not think she could do it again.

Alec left reluctantly and Maren collapsed into tears.

Alec regretted that it was far too early in the day for brandy. He felt he needed a very large glass, perhaps even a whole bottle.

Instead, he went out on the west balcony where he knew he would find a bit of peace or his father.

Either would be helpful, both would be ideal.

He had the distinct impression that any part of his vacation that might have been peaceful was over. He was more concerned for his friends than his vacation, of course, but he did regret the loss.

Fortunately, his father was on the balcony sitting at the small table with a book. He looked up when Alec came out.

“So, I take it from your face that your telling her of her condition went about as well as mine,” his father said.

As much as it occasionally annoyed Alec to have his face read, it was convenient for avoiding saying certain awkward things, like confirming to his father that his betrothed was pregnant with someone else’s baby.

“Well, considering I didn’t out her biggest secret, but I did provide definitive proof, I’d say it was a wash,” Alec said.

His father looked surprised. “Oh, I didn’t know you knew.”

Alec sighed and sat down. “I found out accidentally just the before we left. She was passing out after Kieran…was incapacitated. She lost control.”

His father shook his head. “It’s an absolute miracle she survived so long at Court with Kieran hounding her. And she’s excellent if she managed to stay concealed while he was hurting her.”

Alec didn’t really understand what his father meant, but was too preoccupied to question him.

“Don’t tell me just now, but I do want to hear why you didn’t turn her in,” Alec said.

“Now, why does there have to be a reason, can’t it just be because it’s the decent thing to do?” his father asked, smiling.

Alec chuckled. “I’m not slighting your honor, but she told me you had a reason and I should ask you.”

“Ah, fair enough, I’ll tell you later,” he said. “Go on down to the office and telegram the palace.”

Alec groaned. “She told me not to.”

“Did she? Why’s that?”

“Because she’s convinced herself that her only options are to end the pregnancy or have the baby but give it to Donovan and his wife to raise,” Alec said.

His father frowned. “You know the Prince better than I, but I did assume he’d marry her.”

Alec nodded. “He absolutely will marry her and be delighted to do it. He’s completely mad for her.”

He thought vaguely that he should not be disclosing that to his father, but if he wasn’t troubled that Maren was pregnant, then he probably wouldn’t be troubled that someone else loved her.

“Only, she doesn’t think he will?”

Alec shrugged. “I don’t really understand. I know she’s just as mad for him. She either thinks he can’t or he won’t.”

His father looked thoughtful for a moment, considering.

“Can you imagine what it must be like to grow up thinking that something is horrible and evil, and then suddenly discovering you are that thing?” he asked.

Alec nearly laughed. He certainly had some idea what it must have been like for her. He knew it wasn’t the same, but he did understand what it was like to grow up thinking you’re supposed to be one sort of person, only to discover you’re someone else entirely.

“I imagine it must be rather painful,” Alec said.

“Probably she never expected she could have things like a husband or a child. I think it must be very difficult for her to accept that she can,” his father said.

Alec certainly knew something about that. It took one young man and a lot of time for Alec to realize that he could actually still have love and affection in his life, even if he didn’t want it with a woman.

Alec wondered again if he should tell Maren. Certainly, not just then, but perhaps when she calmed down? He wasn’t sure. He wanted to help her, not burden her with his own secret, and he found the idea of actually saying it out loud daunting. But, he thought that if it would help her, he could tell her about Harold. He’d need to think about it.

He had another decision to make first.

“I’m trying to figure out if I should send a telegram anyway,” Alec said.

“Hmmm, that is difficult.”

“I think I should. Only she’ll be furious with me. And I don’t want her to think that I’m only doing it because I’m also his friend. But I do think it’s the right thing to do for her, even if she doesn’t agree,” he said.

“Well, I expect if she ends up married to him, she’ll forgive you. She might not if she doesn’t. Can you live with that?”

Alec thought about it. “I’m not sure if I could live with myself if I don’t do it. Because they’ll both suffer if I don’t.”

“Then, there’s your answer,” his father said.

Alec groaned. “Being decent is so difficult.”

His father smiled. “It’s usually worth it, though.”

“I know. I know. I’m just dreading telling her what I’ve done. She’s already so upset,” Alec said. “I hate to make it worse.”

“You aren’t. And if you do, the condition will be temporary. Do you think he’ll come here?” his father asked.

Alec nodded. “He won’t want her to come to Court.”

“Probably for the best,” his father said. “Well, he’s very welcome, but I do recommend you tell her he’s coming before he arrives.”

“Certainly. Oh, she wants to know if you want her to move out of the Duchess’s Suite,” Alec said.

“Of course not, it doesn’t matter,” his father said.

“I told her that only I think she needs to hear it from you,” Alec said.

His father nodded. “I’ll send her a note.”

Alec rose. “Well, thank you for…the validation.”

“Good luck!” his father called as he went inside to telegram Donovan.

Alec just had to figure out how to tell him in a way that no one else who read the telegram might understand. The very last thing they needed was for the newspaper or, worse, Kieran, to find out about Maren.

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