The Sentinel of Cassendar: Resquarian
Chapter 15

Roderick looked over at Lady Selene who sat atop her horse looking out over the lake. She was a very pretty woman. He found he did not grow tired of looking at her, and doubted he ever would. She was also a good woman. She could be too open and flippant at times. Sometimes her questions and teasing annoyed Roderick, but never enough where he would not want to hear what she had to say next. He found that he had grown very fond of her over the last couple of weeks. He could even see easily falling in love with her if he let himself, but he had held himself back.

He did not think it was the right time to be falling in love. There was too much going on around them. Their kingdom was in trouble as Navalia was poised to commit more attacks any day. Roderick was frightened for his High Captain. She had been lucky to escape the last battle with only a broken leg. He knew in the battles to come, she would be in even more danger. The thought of Dracia perishing in pursuit of saving Lanoxan was too much for Roderick. It had haunted his dreams of late when he managed to actually sleep.

Roderick also didn’t know if he should take Lady Selene’s attentions seriously. Before the battle, he had gotten the feeling that she may have felt for him beyond simple superficial flirtation, but since he had gotten back, she had gone back to being friendly and teasing with most of the men around. He wouldn’t blame her if she had changed her mind about him. It brought him back to the thing that held back his feelings toward the lady the most. There could never be a real future for them.

Roderick was the middle son of a dead lower lord. He did not begrudge his place in society. He had it better than most people in the kingdom. He grew up comfortably, knowing food would always be on the table, and he would always have a warm bed. They had attendants that saw to most of their needs. He may not have been as waited on as the king or even the High Captain as he grew up, but his life had been easy enough.

He had the opportunity to be educated by tutors and then attend the lower academy. That led to him to be able to join the Sentinel and serve his true purpose alongside the best friend he would ever have. It wasn’t a bad life at all, but it was not one that would earn him the right to court a woman like Lady Selene.

She was not a high or even lower noble of Siccaria, but she was from a wealthy family. Her father was a lord and owned a large piece of land in the middle of Siccaria. Her family was connected to the High Nobles by years of friendship and now a marriage as Lady Maia had married Lord Ethen. Lady Selene could have her pick of men in her kingdom and beyond. She could marry a lower noble of Siccaria or someone of the Lanoxan higher court. She did not have to settle for a man like Roderick who had already given his life to his kingdom and his High Captain.

“You are very quiet today, Roderick,” said Lady Selene as she looked over at him. “What is troubling you? Is your High Captain not recovering?”

“I believe she is. I haven’t had the chance to see her in a few days as I have been preparing the Elites to send messages out in the kingdom,” said Roderick. “My brother has also been down lately. I have been spending time with him, trying to cheer him. When Galen gets in one of his moods, it is not easy to get him out of it.”

“Seems to be a family trait,” said Lady Selene with a small laugh. “What is wrong with your brother?”

“Young love,” said Roderick with a small smile. “He won’t tell me much, but I believe he has quarreled with Princess Lexine. It was bound to happen at some point as they are both strong, passionate people. I am sure they will find their way eventually, as best they can.”

“You don’t sound very sure,” said Lady Selene.

“I am sure he feels for her and her for him, but you must see the barriers between them. He is the youngest son to a late low lord. She is a princess and only sister to the king.”

“You brother is not without allies. He seems a favorite with the queen and king. The king could give him a position to please his sister,” said Lady Selene.

“Galen is an Elite of the Sentinel. His promise and oath he has been made to the kingdom and High Captain will have to come first,” said Roderick.

“I am sure your brother is a very dedicated Elite, Roderick, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Once your kingdom is safe and your High Captain steps down to reign as queen with her king, your brother could feel he has the freedom to move on as well,” said Lady Selene. “You both could.”

“I have not Galen’s skills and brain, my lady. The king could not elevate me with good conscious. I have found my place and my purpose,” said Roderick.

“You do not think enough of yourself, Roderick. You have skills and intelligence. If you did not, why would your High Captain and even your king depend on you so?”

“I have long wondered why Dracia sought me out and became my friend. She has claimed she felt drawn to me, but I am sure it was mostly pity. Why she has chosen to keep me by her side, I cannot say. I owe any good will the king has for me to her,” said Roderick.

“Your High Captain values you highly because you deserve it, Roderick. Anyone that knows you can easily see you deserve all the good will you receive and more,” said Lady Selene. She paused for a moment and smiled at him. “I am not sure I have ever met as good of a man as you.”

“There are plenty of better men than me out in this kingdom and beyond. Your sister is married to a very good man,” said Roderick.

“Ethen is a good man, but he is much too bold for my liking. He suits Maia very well, but I would grow tired of trying to shout him down. I prefer a calm man,” said Lady Selene.

“You prefer a man who will not overshadow you,” said Roderick with a smile. “One that will let you do as you please.”

“That is not fair at all, Roderick,” said Lady Selene with a huff. “I do not mind being challenged. I know I need direction at times, but I do not believe I would do well with someone as bold as myself. I need someone who could help calm me, and help me know when enough is enough, without controlling me.”

“You don’t ask much, do you?” asked Roderick with a wide smile.

Lady Selene sighed. “We need to get back. I should check on my sister, and you should go spend time with your High Captain. It will do you good,” said Lady Selene somewhat morosely.

“Do you not like me spending time with Dracia?” asked Roderick. “Do you not like her?”

“What?” asked Lady Selene with surprise. “No, I like her very much. She is one of the most interesting women I have ever met, and I rather enjoy looking at her as pretty as she is.”

Roderick raised his eyebrow at her.

“I can recognize and appreciate beauty in all of the gods’ creatures, and your High Captain’s beauty is something to behold. I wonder at our king being able to hold on to her as he kept her a secret. She must have had a bevy of suitors.”

“Dracia had ways of keeping men at bay. She was thought to be cold and off-putting with the shield she put around herself. She is very intimidating when she wants to be, and most men don’t like an intimidating woman.”

“You are not put off by intimidating women, are you, Roderick?” asked Lady Selene as she turned her horse.

“No,” he said staring at her. “Not at all. I find intimidating women much to my taste.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” said Lady Selene as she kicked her heels, and her horse shot off.

Roderick returned to the palace a few hours before supper. He decided to take Lady Selene’s advice and see if Dracia was in her rooms for a visit. He passed Princess Lexine on the way. The princess was carrying a stack of books and walking quickly.

“Good day, your highness. Would you like any help?” said Roderick bowing as she stopped.

“Hello, Roderick, no, I can manage these quite well. How are you today?” asked the princess.

“I am well. I was on my way to visit the queen if she is in,” said Roderick.

“I honestly don’t know,” said Princess Lexine softly. “I haven’t spoken to her or my brother in a few days. I haven’t really spoken to anyone except at meals.”

“Are you well, your highness?” asked Roderick kindly.

The princess sighed and shook her head. “I am sure you know I am not, Roderick. You probably know better than most.”

“He does miss you; you must know it,” said Roderick quietly.

“He has talked to you of us?” asked the princess with surprise.

“No, but I can tell he does. He has been in a foul mood for a week. I figured only a quarrel with you could be the cause of it.”

“We did quarrel, Roderick. I am sorry for it, and for the things I said. I didn’t really mean them.”

“I don’t think I should be the one you are apologizing to, your highness, if you have a reason to apologize,” said Roderick.

“I do, Roderick. I have so much to apologize to your brother for,” said Princess Lexine in anguish. “I can’t even repeat to you what I said to your excellent brother.”

“I don’t know what you fought over, but I am sure you were angry in the moment. Angry people rarely say wise things. Galen will not hold them against you forever,” said Roderick.

“I know. Your brother is too good to hold any grudge against me, but I don’t know how to even begin to speak to him again, not after how I must have hurt him.”

“You will have to try if you want to make amends. If you want to find a way forward with, Galen, you will have to speak to him at some point,” said Roderick.

“I do want to make amends with your brother. This is one of the most miserable weeks I have ever spent,” said Lexine.

Roderick nodded. “I do not presume to tell you what to do, your highness. Any advice I give is kindly meant.”

“I know, Roderick, and I appreciate it,” said Lexine with a small smile. “If you do see Dracia, tell her I miss her and look forward to speaking with her at supper. I think I have an apology to make there as well.”

“I will let her know, your highness,” said Roderick as he bowed, and they both went their separate ways.

Roderick came to the king and queen’s door and knocked. He waited a few moments before it was opened by the king himself. He smiled at Roderick.

“About time you came to visit. I think Dracia was afraid you were avoiding her for some reason,” said the king.

“No, I have just been busy with my duties, watching over her Elites for her,” said Roderick as he walked in and looked over towards the sofa to see Dracia standing up and holding on to a cane. “You did not need to get up for me, Dracia.”

“I needed to stretch, Roderick, and I do like to greet your properly,” said Dracia with a large smile. “I have missed you very much. I haven’t seen you for almost a week.”

“Has it been that long?” asked Roderick as he took Dracia’s hand and kissed it.

“It has, but I guess we can see that you have not been missing me as I have been missing you,” said Dracia with a smile as she sat down. “Perhaps you have been too busy with a young lady.”

Roderick sighed and sat in a chair next to her. “No, I have not. It is as I said. I have been organizing your Elites to send messages out into Lanoxan. I have also been spending time with Galen. He has been rather low.”

“I was afraid he had after his quarrel with Lexine,” said Dracia. “They were rather loud in the hall after they left here. I hope she has apologized to him.”

“She has not, not yet, but she wishes too. I just saw her in the hallway,” said Roderick. “She wishes to apologize to you as well, though I don’t know why. She said she looks forward to seeing you at supper tonight.”

“That is something, I suppose,” said Dracia. “I hope this leads to her and Galen coming together again. They have both been too distracted to be very useful in finding out anything about the history of the kingdoms.”

“We cannot interfere, dearest,” said King Leal as he sat down next to Dracia. “At least not too much. They must figure it out between them.”

“I know you are right, but I hate to see them suffer. They are very in love with one another, I believe, and I know what it is like to be at odds with the one you love. It is torture.”

“I know,” said the king as he took Dracia’s hand and kissed it. “I hope we both remember it before we argue again.”

“So, what of you, Roderick?” asked Dracia after smiling at the king and turning to look at Roderick. “Have you really spent no time with Lady Selene?”

“I have just finished a ride with her,” said Roderick. “It was pleasant.”

“Pleasant was it?” asked King Leal with a crooked smile. “How pleasant do you mean?”

Dracia hit the king’s arm. “Do not be so forward with Roderick; you will scare him off from telling us anything.”

“Very well,” said King Leal. “Define pleasant in your own terms, Roderick.”

“We rode out to the lake. We had some conversation and smiles, but nothing more than friendly banter,” said Roderick.

“Why?” asked Dracia. “I am sorry to be so forward, Roderick, but I know how you feel about this young woman. She has feelings for you as well. I thought after the battle, you two might find yourself growing closer.”

“I thought we might as well, but I have been distracted a bit since we got back, and I have rethought things,” answered Roderick.

“What things have been on your mind?” asked King Leal.

“You must see that Lady Selene gives her attentions away fairly easily. There is not a man around that she does not smile and flirt with,” said Roderick.

“She is an outgoing woman,” said Dracia. “She has had no assurances from you. What do you expect her to do, mope around and wait for you to declare yourself?”

“No, of course not,” said Roderick. He huffed, not really wanting to talk of this with Dracia. She was his best friend, but it felt odd to speak with her of a woman. “It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” asked Dracia.

“How can I know what she feels for me is even real? Why should it be? Who am I to command the attentions of a woman like her? Even if I did, what future could we really have?”

Dracia smiled and looked at the king. “Oh Roderick, you know how very worthy you are of any woman,” said Dracia swiping her hand to the side. “You are putting up barriers to love where there should be none.”

“What do you know of barriers to love?” asked Roderick sulkily. “You sit there happily married to your king, secure in his love.”

“Is there something in the air that makes everyone want to voice some disagreement with me?” asked Dracia as she looked at the king.

“Now, dearest, I am sure Roderick didn’t mean what you think by what he just said. He knows what you have been through for our love. I am sure he did not mean to push aside what you have experienced,” said the king, giving a hard look at Roderick.

“No, of course not,” said Roderick, thoroughly chastised. “Dracia, I know how you and the king suffered for your love, but you have always been so sure of each other. How long have you two been in love? Do you even know at this point? How often have you really had to guess the others’ feelings?”

Dracia nodded. “I have long been secure of Leal’s feelings for me, even when I was scared he would have to push me aside. I never doubted he loved me.”

“I should hope you never doubt in my love for you. I have tried very hard to show you the depths of it for many years,” said King Leal as he took his wife’s hand.

“But Roderick, you will never know how she really feels unless you try to find out. If you have feelings for Lady Selene, you should at least see if she feels for you. I think you will be glad you did,” said Dracia.

“It is very hard to speak of this with you, Dracia,” said Roderick after a few moments of silence. “I don’t know why. I know you mean well, and I have no doubt you have much wisdom on the subject, but I am not sure you can understand how I am really feeling.”

“Roderick, I really can, and I do. I want to help you,” said Dracia with feeling.

“Now, dearest, do not take offense to this, but I believe Roderick is right. You cannot know exactly what he is feeling as you are not a man,” said the king.

“What does that have to do with anything?” asked Dracia sounding a little irritated. Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the FɪndNovᴇl.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“In this instance, it has everything to do with what is going on,” said King Leal as he turned to Roderick. “Do you have plans after supper, Roderick?”

“Not really, your majesty. I had planned to spend some time with my brother,” said Roderick.

“Perfect,” said the king. “You will grab your brother and meet me and Lord Ethen at the front door of the palace. I had planned to go for a drink with Ethen as our wives spend a quiet evening together. You and Galen will join us.”

“I would hate to interrupt you and Lord Ethen’s planned evening, your majesty,” said Roderick.

“You will not interrupt it at all. You will give us some amusement and help us to feel useful. Now I command you and Galen join us. You cannot say no to your king,” said King Leal happily.

“Leal, what are you going to do?” asked Dracia. “I hope you will not torture poor Roderick or Galen.”

The king kissed Dracia’s hand. “No, my dearest, I am going to help them. I am very happy in my situation, and while no one will probably ever be as happy as I with you, I would like to see our friends at least settled well in life. Your seconds will be very safe with me and Ethen.”

Roderick looked at Dracia who smiled at him. “You do not have to go, Roderick. He cannot really command you to drink with him.”

Roderick looked at the king who gave him a small shrug. “I will go, and so will Galen. It will be good to get out of the palace for a bit, and I am interested to hear what my king might have to say.”

Dracia sighed and looked at the king. “If you do anything to upset Roderick or Galen tonight, you might as well find another room for yourself. It would be a shame too, as my leg is finally well enough for all sorts of activities.”

Roderick quickly turned away and looked anywhere but at couple next to him, but not before he saw the king smirk. Whatever the night held, Roderick knew it would at least be interesting.

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