CLAUDIA

Even though his apology is not enough, Artemis sounded sincere.

It makes me think that maybe he doesn’t despise me as much as I thought he did. It makes me hopeful that we can manage to be amicable. I walk without consciously thinking where to go, climbing the stairs and finding myself standing outside Apolo’s bedroom. I underestimated how much I need to unload with someone, to interact with another human being.

I also enjoy talking with Ares, but he’s hardly ever home.

He has a very active social life. Apolo on the other hand likes to spend his time in his room, reading or busy with other things.

I knock on the door and wait for the “Come in” as my cue to enter. Even though it’s late, Apolo is sitting on the small sofa next to the window, holding a book open in his hands. His lips turn into a smile and he looks at me with tenderness. He closes the book and places it on his lap. “And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

I let out a sigh and sit on his bed facing him. “I’ve had a long day.”

His eyes study my face with worry. “Did Artemis bother you again?”

“No.”

“Is Martha okay?”

“Yes.” My mother’s health has remained stable lately, which has been a relief. Living with chronic liver disease has its ups and downs. “I’m just tired, I guess.”

He gets up and moves closer until he’s right in front of me, forcing me to bend my neck up.

“Would you like a massage?”

Apolo gives the best massages. I smile and nod. He climbs on his bed and kneels behind me. His hands go to my shoulders and move to the dip where they meet my neck. He puts pressure on this point. I close my eyes and give in to pure bliss.

“You’re tense,” he informs me as he keeps working.

It feels so good. I start to relax and swallow a soft groan. “The past days have been stressful,” I admit with an exhale.

Apolo’s hands are now on my back and his thumbs are applying pressure. They move alongside my spinal cord, hitting all the main points and making me whimper. Apolo stops and I open my eyes.

“Sorry. It is just too relaxing.”

He leans forward. I can feel his breath close to my ear. “Then relax. When a massage is this good, it’s normal to make those noises.”

His breath tickles, and I have a hard time swallowing. There’s a shift of energy in the room. I feel a weird vibe grow between us, and I can’t explain why. It’s not the first time he’s given me a massage. His hands go up my back and stop midway. My breathing comes to a halt when his hands move under my arms and come to rest on my abdomen. His chest is lightly brushing against my back.

“Inhale deeply. This is an antistress technique.”

Despite the strange proximity, I do as he tells me.

“Close your eyes. And concentrate on your breathing.”

I inhale and exhale. The heat of his chest envelops my back.

My heart races. To be completely honest, at this moment I feel the opposite of relaxed. His lips lightly graze my ear and I hope it was by accident. It must be an accident.

“Apolo, what are you doing?” I say quietly.

His nose brushes against my ear and his breathing gently caresses my skin. My heart keeps beating fast. What if he can tell?

This is embarrassing. Relax, this is just a massage.

“Claudia . . .” Apolo whispers in my ear. And I feel a shiver run down my spine. The sweet scent of his cologne wraps around me.

The strange mood is broken when the door is flung open, and I quickly jump to my feet and away from Apolo. A confused Artemis looks at me first, then turns his gaze to Apolo, who is putting his arms down but still kneeling on the bed.

Artemis folds his arm across his chest. “What are you two up to?”

Apolo looks at me before giving him an answer. “We were just . . .” But he doesn’t finish his sentence. Artemis arches his brow. “What do you need?” Apolo says.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Apolo looks annoyed. “I don’t have to.”

Artemis wasn’t expecting that reaction from his little brother, and furrows his brow. I don’t want to spoil the peace accord we brokered earlier in the kitchen—we agreed to remain civil, and I don’t want any trouble.

“I was about to leave.” I smile at Apolo, turn to the door, and make my exit without looking back. I should not have come up to see Apolo. I need to be more careful now that Artemis is living here. Not because I care what he thinks of me, but because I don’t want to cause any problems for Apolo.

I’m on my way down the stairs when a shirtless and barefoot Ares runs past me.

“Ares?”

He holds a phone in his hand, and looks completely frantic.

“I’ll explain later!” he shouts as he dashes out the front door.

Back in my room, I text him. I’m worried and know I won’t fall asleep until I receive a message from him, so he lets me know that he won’t be sleeping at home tonight. Shirtless and barefoot?

I have a hunch that this has something to do with our next-door neighbor’s daughter. I believe her name is Raquel. I’ve never seen Ares show this much interest in a girl. Maybe she’s the one who will finally melt that frozen heart of his.

I take a seat next to my mother, who is sitting up and resting her back against the headboard. Her short red hair is peppered with gray. The wrinkles in her face are noticeable when she smiles. She takes my hand. “You’re back.”

I return the smile, and lean over to kiss her forehead. I pull away and caress her cheek.

“You should be sleeping.”

“Hmm.”

“How are you feeling?” I ask and carefully examine her features. My priority is her well-being.

“Fine.” Her fingers glide gently under my eyes. “Look at these bags. You look exhausted. Let’s go to sleep.”

“Agreed. Let me change.”

She examines the uniform and her brow furrows.

“It’s a new dress code, Mom. Nothing that concerns you, okay? I have everything under control.”

She waits for me while I change out of the stupid uniform. I put on my pajamas and lie next to her.

“Good night, Mom.”

“Good night, sweetie.”

Sleep, however, doesn’t come easy. My mind keeps replaying this evening’s events, from Artemis’s apology to that moment with Apolo in his room. What was that all about? I want to believe it’s just my imagination playing tricks, but then again Apolo is no longer small. He’s a teenage boy with raging hormones. Maybe I’ve been careless and given him mixed signals. Regardless, I need to proceed with caution, or this could get out of control.

Claudia . . . I hear the tender tone of his voice in my ear. I shake my head and stop thinking about that moment. And pray I find peace of mind and get some sleep very soon.

It’s cold . . .

I’m freezing and can’t stop trembling. The temperature is so low that my lips are cracked and my skin is dry from the cold. I hug Fred, my stuffed bear. He’s filthy and smells terrible, yet I can’t let him go. The small trailer where we live is dark. It’s been a while since the electricity was cut. I find my mother unconscious, lying on the sofa. Her hand is dangling to the side, and there are used syringes on the floor. She has on a very short skirt and a cropped top that exposes her midriff. Her red hair is long, parted in the middle, unkempt and dirty. I place my small hand on her chest.

“Mommy.”

She doesn’t move or respond.

“Mommy, I’m cold.”

I look for a blanket; I think she must be cold too because she is so underdressed. I try to be careful and cover her as much as possible. I’m startled by someone knocking hard on the door.

“Martha! Martha! Open the damn door!”

My heart is beating fast. I’m afraid and shake my mother.

“Mommy! Mommy, wake up!”

But she remains still. I scream when someone kicks the door open.

“You stupid bitch, where are you?!”A tattooed man with earrings and dressed in black storms into our small place. His eyes land on my mother.

“Oh, there you are.”

I stand in his way.

“No! Leave her alone!”

He grabs me by my hair and throws me to the side. My stomach makes contact with a side table next to the sofa. The air gets knocked out of me. I hold on to my tummy. The man picks up the syringes and throws them. He proceeds to slap my mother, who barely blinks her eyes.

“Well, well, look at this! You’ve been tripping on my merchandise.”

I struggle to get up, tears in my eyes.

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The strange man climbs on top of my mom, pulling at her skirt. I hit him repeatedly. He turns around, grabs me by the hair, and drags me to the door. He throws me out and I land hard on the snow that’s piled in front of our trailer.

“Listen, brat, if you dare come back inside, I’ll kill you.”

I run away, hoping to find someone who can help. I can’t fight that man by myself. My mother told me I should never fight anyone who comes looking for her. She says I should go look for help instead. I stumble and fall. A few inches of snow have fallen on the ground, and I can’t feel my feet.

A kind voice speaks in my ear and a pair of strong arms hold me tight out here in the cold.

“Hey, hey. Claudia.”

I open my eyes; tears cloud my vision and I’m trembling uncontrollably.

“You’re okay. It was just a nightmare.” I am as startled by Artemis’s voice as I am by the realization that we’re standing in the middle of the backyard. Was I sleepwalking? Again?

The fear, the cold, the anguish of the dream still torment my thoughts. I lift my head to look up at the eyes that used to soothe me when I had these nightmares before. I purse my lips to stop myself from crying. But I fail. Artemis holds my face. In this moment, he ceases to be the cold and bitter man others see. He’s the boy I grew up with; the one who protected me and held me every time I was tortured by these horrible dreams. The boy who would only act this way when he was with me.

“You’re okay,” he whispers while his thumbs wipe away my tears.

I can’t speak.

“You don’t have to say anything. Everything is okay.” He hugs me. And I quietly sob, pressed against his chest. His scent calms me down. His hand caresses the back of my head. I find myself unable to summon the will to put up my defenses and push him away. “I’m here, Claudia, you’re okay.”

I encircle his waist with my arms, and hug him tightly.

I feel too unstable to think clearly. Right now, I need to feel safe in his arms, if only for a brief moment. Just until the fear of imminent peril that is triggered by these nightmares goes away. Simply because these are not just dreams; they are vivid memories.

And he knows this. He is very well aware.

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