Dorian

 

My grandfather’s goons made me wait a long time before buzzing me past his gate. In fact, I waited so long I didn’t think my grandpa was going to let me in.

He probably shouldn’t, best for both of us. I didn’t want to be here at all, but I needed to tell him something.

I hoped it would be the last fucking thing.

I was done with the fucker messing with my life, and the people I cared about in it. He’d gotten between me and Noa now, Noa.

“Grandson.” My grandfather didn’t appear surprised to see me, and I was sure he wasn’t. After all, he’d made me wait half a fucking century at his iron gates before one of his lapdogs okayed my way onto the property. I’d been escorted after that, led here today. I stood in what appeared to be some type of parlor when my grandfather finally came into the room of his big-ass house, and now was a good opportunity to see him.

He’d be alone.

I’d skipped school to be here today, my academy jacket and tie on to play up the ruse. I didn’t need my parents asking about why I wasn’t dressed for school when I saw them this morning, and I also didn’t need Sloane’s brother around. I had no issues with the kid, but he might wonder why I’d stopped over here to give my grandfather a piece of my fucking mind.

Which I was going to do.

Seeing the old fucker in his smoking jacket, cane in his hand, and calm demeanor about him set off an unexpected fire inside me. I thought I’d gotten over him in the passing weeks. What had happened between us felt like a century ago since Sloane had returned to town and everyone in my life was happy. Finally happy.

I shouldered away from my granddad’s goons, his pal Lucas in particular. I didn’t care if the asshole was strapped. Let him try something. I shot a finger at my grandfather. “You need to keep my fucking name out of your mouth,” I blazed. There was more anger… fury than I had believed my body still felt for him. I’d thought I was over this shit. I needed to be over this shit. I didn’t want to hate him anymore. I didn’t want to feel anything. I wanted to be free, but he wasn’t fucking letting me. I wet my lips. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but you did your good deed, so you need to get the fuck out of this town and stay away from me, and that includes Noa.”

Sloane was mine, and I was hers. We were a unit, and if he messed with her, he was messing with me.

He had messed with her, and if he thought he’d ever get in good with me, he had another thing coming. The jig was up, and I was calling him out on his shit.

“I really don’t know what you thought that was,” I continued, stepping up on him. I noticed that Lucas dude put his hand out, but Grandpa put his hand up. Lucas stayed back, and Grandpa Prinze was going to let me approach. Stupid him. I stopped a foot or two away, the old man’s aftershave making me gag. Between that and the tobacco smell that basically wafted out of the fucker’s pores, I was holding my breath, but I wouldn’t step back. My jaw shifted. “Talking to Noa was a mistake and getting between us an even bigger one.”

Grandpa appeared calm in front of me, collected. His head tilted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, grandson,” he stated, and I flinched. “No one is trying to get between you and anyone. I merely told Sloane the truth, and if that didn’t sit well with you, you probably should have mentioned what happened between us this summer first.”

I would have told her. I would have fucking told her, but that was between us, not him and us.

Grandpa sighed. “I didn’t want to tell her. I honestly thought you already had.”

“Sure.”

“It’s the truth.” Grandpa lifted his head. “Now, I’m sorry if that caused any discord between you. I really am, but I think you and I both know you’re not supposed to be here right now. In fact, we’re not supposed to be in contact at all, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.”

He had to be joking. I smirked, but when that Lucas fucker put his hands on me, I shoved him off. This had about half a dozen others on the premises stepping to react, but my grandfather raised his hands to everyone. 

“My grandson isn’t going to cause trouble here today,” he said to them all before returning his cane to the floor. He directed a look at me. “Right, grandson? I think it’s time you leave now.”

Apparently done with me, he turned, but I navigated in front of him.

“You’re full of shit, old man. You know that?” I eyed a goon to my right, then left, deciding to stay where I was at the present. I didn’t want trouble. I just wanted to prove a fucking point. My eyes narrowed. “I think you wanted this town and me to see you as some kind of savior. You come in to save the day with Sloane and Bru, and what? I might want something to do with your ass? I might not hate you anymore and just throw away everything you did in the past?”

My throat jumped, loathing that shit. I didn’t know what to make of my grandfather. I’d thought I had him all pegged the moment I’d met him that summer, and though I still hadn’t trusted him when he’d brought Sloane back to us, I had wanted to believe maybe some part in him had some kind of soul. That maybe he really had had a shitty situation dropped in his lap with that bastard Godfrey and done the right thing just to do the right thing.

But he was still here. He was and still creating chaos in my life. Why do that? Why be around and still causing mess?

“Let’s not get it twisted. I will never want anything to do with you,” I said, Adam’s apple jumping. “No matter what good deeds you do or the people you help, so if that’s why you’re sticking around, don’t. You did your good deed with Godfrey so leave and leave all of us alone.”

“I’m helping because it’s the right thing.” Our gazes collided, his eyebrows narrowed tight like mine. “And all due respect, grandson, I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“Actually, you have to prove fucking everything to me,” I shot, nostrils flaring. “You should be on your damn fucking knees proving to me why you’re not a complete and utter piece of shit.”

His eyes scanned mine. “Step back, grandson.”

“Make me.” I dared him. “Now, you may have this town fooled, but you don’t have me. I’ll always see who you really are, and that’s a sorry sack of shit who beat my father and fucked with my mother and her family—”

“Dorian!”

I whipped around, shrinking instantly where I stood at the sight of my father.

My father, who was pissed.

Dad had his suit on, the one he’d sported at breakfast. Snowflakes dusted his hair, his trench coat on his arm. He still had his leather gloves on, and a chill had reddened his cheeks. “What do you think you’re doing? Step back from your grandfather now.”

I did and right away, shocked to fucking hell to see him here and even more when he strode over to Grandpa Prinze.

“Thanks for calling me,” Dad said, shocking me more. He studied me. “My son knows he’s not supposed to be here.”

“We had an agreement, son, and I intend to honor it.” Grandpa scanned me. “I’m not to have any contact with Dorian.”

I blinked, exchanging a glance between the two men. They were in contact with each other. About me?

At least for today, it seemed.

My father put his coat back on, leveling me with a hard glare. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have a talk about this,” he said to Grandpa.

“No harm done, Royal.” Grandpa held his cane. His head lowered. “The situation was escalating, but I don’t think it would have resulted in anything. I think Dorian was more angry than anything.”

“I think we both know what his anger can result in, Father,” he said, my grandpa sighing. The two spoke to each other differently than that awkward day on the phone. Like they were both comfortable.

Like my father was comfortable.

The ease that the conversation had completely unnerved me, and I could do nothing but listen when my dad advised me to head to the car. He said he’d see me out there, but didn’t leave Grandpa right away. What the fuck?

I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but walked quickly to our cars. I waited outside of mine, but when my dad finally did come out, he waved me over to his.

“We’ll send someone for it. I’m taking you to school,” he said, and I didn’t argue. I just got inside, and I’d never seen my father so angry. I mean, he usually pushed that shit down.

It emanated off him today, and even worse than all those times he’d found out I’d been keeping secrets from him and Mom.

“What the hell was that, Dorian?” Dad shifted gears, his Audi zipping through town. “Tell me you weren’t about to do something to your grandfather.”

My adrenaline pulsing, I didn’t know what I’d been about to do before he’d arrived. “I…”

“The next words out of your mouth better be the truth and an explanation of why you went behind my back to him again.”

“I don’t know why. I…” I rubbed my legs, looking at him. “Are you guys talking to each other?” It almost sounded like they were or had at least been in contact with each other.

Dad had even stayed behind to talk to him.

I didn’t know what to make of that, but what I said had obviously been the wrong thing to say. My dad cut out of traffic, parking on the side of the road. I’d sent my father to a place he normally didn’t go, one where he straddled a line to remain collected. Taking off his gloves, I watched him check himself right in front of me, and I felt so bad. He dealt with anger as well, but he didn’t allow it to consume him.

He was so much better than me.

“You’re not the one asking questions here,” he said, his hand moving down his jaw. “And not that I need to answer yours, but the lines of communication are open between my father and me.”

But why? I didn’t understand. I shook my head. “Dad…”

“Why did you go behind my back, Dorian?” Dad released a heavy breath. “And why did I walk in on what I did? Why did it look like you were going to do something?”

“I wasn’t. I swear to God.” At least, I hoped I wasn’t. I breathed into my hands. “He told Sloane about that summer with him, and what I tried to do after. Poisoning him.”

Silence beside me, and when I looked over, Dad was rubbing the steering wheel. “He saw Sloane?”

“They ran into each other, I guess. Sloane dropped by that house Bru and her stayed at. Some of her paintings were there, and she wanted to get one.”

“I see.”

“I guess they got to talking, and it came up what I did.” I laced my hands behind my neck. “He had no right. No right to tell her that.”

My eyes closed, simmering. I felt like I was going to punch a fist through one of my dad’s windows, which would make shit so much worse.

I didn’t, though, holding back when I grabbed my legs. When I looked at my father, he had his eyes on the traffic zooming by us.

“Why weren’t you the one to tell her, Dorian?” he asked, shocking me. He nodded. “You should have been the one to tell her. You know that, right?”

I did know that, hard facts. I closed my eyes. “I was going to. I was. I…” I dampened my lips. “I just wasn’t ready.”

My dad sat with that beside me, and where he’d been unnerved before, he wasn’t now. If anything, he looked sad, his lips turned down.

“I suppose I get that, but you should have told her,” he said, sighing. “Because you didn’t, you gave that power away to someone else.”

Like I didn’t know that? I kept fucking shit up, and I was getting so good at that. I rubbed my mouth.

“How did she react?” Dad asked, and I sat up.

“How she should have,” I said, staring out of the car. “Like she can’t trust me. Like… like I’m a monster.” I stuttered on the last word, my breath shallow. “I am a monster.”

I didn’t mean to say it, though I felt it. I was a monster, but I shouldn’t have said that in front of my dad.

I knew that by the way he looked at me.

“You feel like you’re a monster, son?” he questioned, his hand on my neck. He squeezed. “Why do you feel like that?”

“How am I not? Besides all that with Grandpa, there’s all the Mayberry stuff, and I just feel it inside me. I’m my grandfather’s fucking grandson, and I feel it.”

These were facts, cold hard facts, and Dad knew it. He may have been able to battle his own demons, but clearly, I hadn’t. They were still fully fledged within me, alive and true.

Dad leaned forward. “You made some mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you’re a monster.”

“But doesn’t it?” I glanced his way, cringing. “I have this thing inside me, and I can’t control it. I’m a piece of shit, and I can’t even fix the things I want to fix right. I messed up with Charlie. I should have just told you and Mom the truth.”

Dad nodded, agreeing. He rubbed my neck. “You should have, but that doesn’t make you a monster, son. It makes you human.”

Human. Right. I shook my head. “It makes me a head case, and Sloane sees that now. She’ll always see that.” I rubbed my hands. “I’m a piece of shit, Dad—”

“You’re not.” He took my face, scanning my eyes. “You’re my son, and though you’re not without flaws, you are perfection in every sense of the word. Perfection to me, your mom, and anyone who’s ever gotten the chance to be loved by you. Protected by you.”

I cringed, and he shook his head, shook me.

“You are, Dorian. You are a Prinze, and my father may have sullied that name, but you have not. You’re going to make that name better, stronger.” His throat flicked. “I’ve worked my whole life to create a legacy for you. A strong one… an honest one that you one day can be proud of.”

I knew he had. Everyone loved my father, his peers, his employees… everyone, and that was because he protected them. He protected their interests and never let people get taken advantage of if he could help it.

“You’re going to make that legacy even stronger, son, and it’s going to be an honor to hand that down to you one day. It will be because I know what you’ll do with it. You’ll be better than my father. Better than me because I’m not perfect either. I had to overcome my own struggles, and you will too.”

“How do you know that about me?” I asked, voice breaking. “I never do the right thing.”

“That’s because you need to do that to learn how to. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of trials and tribulations. Sometimes you really have to fuck some shit up to figure out how to do something right.”

I laughed, and he did too.

He sat back. “But you will. It’s guaranteed, because you’re an extension of both me and your mother, and thank God for how much of your mom you carry. You have her good heart, and you’ve always had that.”

“I have yours too,” I said, swallowing. “Yours is good too.” He might not be quick to say that, but he should. He was one of the best people I knew.

He smiled a little. “That took some work too.” His hand moved to my arm. “And it helped having your mother.”

I glanced his way, and he patted my back.

“Things will work out between you and Sloane. It will if you’re willing to work for it.”

“I love her,” I stated, no waver in my voice. “That girl owns me, Dad.”

I might have been afraid to admit that in the past, but I wasn’t now for some reason. Maybe because I knew my dad would understand.

His smile stretched. “Then put the work in, and be kinder to yourself, Dorian. You’re still young, and you’re going to figure it out. Figure life out.”

“Why didn’t I just talk to you sooner?” I asked, feeling stupid now. I should have gone to him back then, back before Charlie and everything.

“Because you’re me.” He rubbed my arm. “So, you’re welcome for that.”

I barked out a laugh, and he did too, my dad and I laughing just over nothing.

“I’m glad you talked to me, and I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t before.”

It wasn’t his fault. I had my own shit I still had to work out, and that had nothing to do with him.

“As far as before and what you asked about your grandfather, we aren’t in contact. Not really.” His jaw moved. “My dad knows those lines are open, though, like I said. I did that for you in case you needed it.”

I studied him, confused. “For me?”

“Yes. I have no interest in taking up anything with my father personally. I’m grateful for what he did, of course. Helping us get back Sloane and everything he did there regarding her and her brother. My father seems to be trying to be a better person, but gratitude is fortunately all I can give the man. I’ve made my peace with our relationship, but I don’t want to be the reason yours is taken away.” His lips pinched tight. “That is, if you want it.”

But he’d hurt him, abused him. “I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“You may feel that way now, but you never know how you’ll feel in a year, two, or even ten. Somewhere along the way, you may change your mind, and if you do, I want you to have that opportunity. You’re eighteen, and I know you could do whatever you wish now, but I know you.” His head tilted, smile warm. “You’d never even entertain the idea unless I was okay with it, and me opening the lines of communication with my dad will slowly get me there. I hope, over time, if that day ever does come where you do want to reach out, I’d be okay with that relationship, yours and his.” S~ᴇaʀᴄh the ꜰindNʘvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

I didn’t know what to say, but I did hug him back when he hugged me.

“I want you to have the world, son,” he said, his hand on my head. “And I’m willing to get out of my own way for you to have it. It might take me time, and I know it will take patience, but I’m willing to put in the work.”

I closed my eyes, gripping his coat. I didn’t want a relationship with my grandfather and couldn’t ever see that changing, but I refused to not acknowledge the sacrifice my father was making for me. He’d mentioned my mom’s good heart, but he had to know he contributed just as much.

After all, I was my father’s son.

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