“Alpha, what-” Doc stopped talking as Caden carried her inside the house. At least she believed it to be a house. She had registered nothing from the trip, the only thing she focused on was the sound of his heart which had sounded like thundering hooves on the ground. Making her imagine riding a horse through the stars as the moon laughed.
“Liv!?” An alarmed voice urged as another voice spoke as well.
“What happened?” Ben asked as he joined them with Malik, who was apparently also there. She recognized them all, but she the stars kept her from acknowledged them.
“She’s in shock.” Caden said as he laid her down on something hard. The sound of the thundering hooves disappearing, making a small whine come from her, before her eyes focused on the flickering of a flame in the room. “What did you tell her?!” Malik asked as he came to stand near her head. “The truth she wanted to know.” Caden spoke, but it all fell into a blur as Liv kept looking at the flame. Which transformed into a sprite that waved at her before she started to dance.
“It was too much for her to take and she shut down. She’s been like this for a while now.” A soft chuckle left her as the sprite winked out and came back instantly.
Silence fell throughout the room, before a soft sigh filled her ears and footsteps next.
“What are you looking at, Livana?” A gentle voice sounded close to her.
“The sprite, she’s dancing.” Liv answered as she still held her eyes on the sprite. Doc followed her gaze and saw the flickering flame. “Why is she dancing?” He asked next.
The sprite appeared to be looking at her before her tiny fire hands went to her chest, covering the place where the heart resided. The smile disappeared from her face as she frowned a little at the sprite who started to dance again, but not the same as before. This time it was not joy, but sadness that was exposed in her moves.
“Her heart, it’s aching.” Liv answered with a soft whisper.
Doc’s eyes snapped to Caden who met his gaze with a tense one of his own, before Doc crouched down next to the table, Liv was laying on, and held his eyes on her, while she was still focused on the candle.
“Why is it aching?” He asked.
A hollow feeling started to spread through her chest where there was numbness before as a lump started to fill her throat. The sprite’s flame started to flicker heavily and unspoken words started to fill her ears.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I am so sorry.”
“Remember who you are, who your parents are, and you will never be powerless.”
“I love you.”
Tears started to fill her eyes as she knew who had spoken those words to her. The last words she had ever spoken to Liv before her life ended.
Her mother.
“Know this, little one. Obey me and nothing will happen to you or your mother. Disobey and well, look at your mother, you did this to her by not answering my question. Have I made myself clear?”
A tear broke free from her eye.
He plunged his knife into her mother’s belly and cut her open from her navel to her throat with a roar of rage before he threw her body away and ordered his pack to tear her apart.
The sprite disappeared as the memories broke through the haze that had clouded her mind. The images filling her mind’s eye with no remorse.
“It was my father, covered in blood with his heart ripped out of his chest.”
The image of that day resurfaced, but this time she wasn’t standing there as a child. This time she was standing there as who she is now. Looking down on her father’s body. The screams of her pack being killed around her filled her ears.
A stab went through her chest that made her whimper and curl into herself as her tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Liv?” Doc asked as he got up and knew that she was coming back to herself.
The screams kept filling her ears, but those weren’t the only ones. More screams she couldn’t forget were added to the pile.
The ones of all those she had killed or tortured in the human world as a mercenary.
The ones of her mother as she got raped and Liv was crying in the arms of Andrew, begging to make it stop.
The ones of Dawn as she was dying because of the curse and she was too late to help her.
All of them filled her ears and she couldn’t take it.
Slapping her hands over her ears as she curled even more into herself, she cried.
“Make them stop, please make them stop!” She cried out as her body started to tremble at the amount of feelings that were starting to race through her. She couldn’t take this, she wanted to go back to that numbness again, but it was gone. The haze had disappeared and she was forced to feel everything.
Her power woke up in her veins, making them become red as a reaction to her emotions.
“Shit, Liv-”
“Don’t!” Doc yelled at Malik, who froze right before he wanted to grab her. “If you touch her, her power will lash out and none of us will be able to help you. I don’t think she will survive the knowledge of your death by her hands.” Malik gulped as he took a step back.
“Please, make them stop!” Liv yelled as she started to shake as she cried.
“Only you can make them stop, Livana.” Doc said as he looked back at her with pity in his eyes. “These are your demons and only you can make them go away or accept them.” Another stab went through her chest and a pulse of her power went through her body making her cry out with the screams in her head.
“Doc-” Ben said with a warning as he stared at her arms with big eyes. Doc looked at Ben before following his gaze to her arms, where her veins were still visible thanks to her power, but not in a way they would expect.
The veins in her arms had turned from red to pitch black.
Doc’s eyes immediately snapped to Caden who was looking at her arms with a hard gaze as well, before meeting his eyes.
“Darkness...” Malik mumbled which made all of them look at him as he only had his eyes on Liv.
“The meaning of her first name.” Another voice chimed in as he walked into the room. He walked closer to Liv who was still shaking and crying. A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked at her, before he took the place of Malik at her head and lifted a hand. “Don’t-” Doc stopped talking as the male put his hand on her head and stroked her hair. A groan came from him as black veins started to appear in his hand and arm as well.
“Do you remember the first snowfall of the first year in Alaska, Livana?” A whimper came from her as he kept stroking her hair. “You were so small back then, but you braved the cold better than any of us ever had. Running barefooted through the fresh snow with nothing more but your nightgown on.”
The screams in her head started to quiet down a bit as his voice chased away the images in her head and replaced them with the one of her as a child running through the snow, trying to capture snowflakes.
“I still remember running after you as you shifted in that small wolf pup form of yours as you ran with your tongue out of your mouth. Careless and free, even though you were far from those feelings.” He kept stroking her head as he looked at her. The trembling in her body eased a bit and the power inside of her started to dim slowly.
“You were a menace back then. It was like the snow touching the ground made your whole personality change and no matter what we did, we couldn’t stop you from going outside and play. I remember Bran coming home one night with a running nose and freezing, while you were begging us to stay outside. I still don’t know how you are able to withstand that kind of cold for days, but the change you went through is one that I always looked forward to every year. To see the careless and free pup that became whole once snow covered the ground. Who forgot everything once the first flakes rained down on her auburn hair.”
The trembling in her body ceased as the screams disappeared and the images of her running as a pup in the snow ran through her mind’s eye. The veins on his arms became a bloodred color before they started to pull back from his arm, as well as her own. The power receding. Her breaths came out as rapid ones as if she had run a marathon, but she could finally relax her body a bit.
“Back then I believed it to be a blessing for you to be so young, but thanks to that fact you’ve never had a childhood. Soon the snowfall was the only thing that made you smile, before that disappeared as well.” Another tear rolled down her cheek as she realized who was talking to her. Slowly she opened her bloodshot eyes and was met with the gaze of Andrew.
“I have treasured your smiles from the moment you were placed in our care, because I knew that sooner or later, they would disappear and demons would haunt your mind, ready to take you down when you were at your weakest.” Her lip trembled as she allowed her hands to slowly slip from her ears.
“Liv, you are so strong, you truly have no idea, but you need to face those who haunt you or you’ll never be able to move on. They may have quieted down for now, but they will come back and you need to be ready to deal with them.”
“I can’t.” Her voice broke as more tears spilled down her cheeks. Andrew gave her a pitiful smile as he still kept stroking her hair. “You can. I know you can, because there isn’t anything you can’t do and we will always be here to help you.” Liv searched his eyes, but found nothing but honesty and love there.
He smiled again. “I can’t wait to see you run through the snow in your wolf skin again.” He added with a whisper which made her break down again. He got up as he walked to her side and grabbed her arms, before pulling her up into a sitting position and in his arms. She cried as she buried her head in his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
Andrew laid his chin on her head as he stroked his hair. “I know, Liv. All three of us do.”
§
Liv walked out of the bathroom, that had started to decay a while ago. As had every part of this house she had seen so far. They were definitely not back at Rafe’s. That was for sure, but she hadn’t yet asked where they actually were.
After she was done with crying her eyes out against Andrew’s chest, he had brought her upstairs and into this room where he had told her that a warm bath was waiting for her and that some clothes would be brought up as well, before he left her alone.
Andrew, who was actually here in Norway. How the hell that was possible was something she didn’t know yet either, but she was sure to ask them when she saw them again.
Her mind had taken a large beating in the last couple of hours, but after the lavender scented bath she finally felt a bit like herself again. Even though she could still remember all the screams that had sounded through her head. A shiver ran down her spine as she closed her eyes at the memory. At the demons that had taken advantage of her weakness. She had always known she had demons, but for the most part, she had been able to ignore them. Until now. Everything she had done as a mercenary had carved her into who she is, but it also left a mark. She had always felt it. The memory of everyone she had killed and tortured. She had just never realized how much they haunted her. She knew Andrew was right. That she was going to have to face all of her demons, but she couldn’t. Not yet. They will take her under with them and they won’t let her go. Andrew may believe that she was strong enough, but she wasn’t.
Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes.
The conversation of her and Caden was also still at the front of her mind, but she felt like she could handle it a bit more now, which she was grateful for. Yet, she still couldn’t really fathom how her life was so different from the details she now knew. How could she have been so blind to not see everything Caden told her about King or even Finnegan? How could she have not questioned it more?
She released a sigh as she sat down on the bed and looked out of the window.
The moon shone high in the sky. Another day passed. A day she wished she would never have to experience again. Liv looked at her hands as drops of her wet hair wetted the towel wrapped round her body.
Caden had spoken the truth and everything made more sense because of it. She comprehended everything, yet it was still a lot to take in and it’ll take some time for her to come to terms with it. Including the weird pulse of power, she felt before Andrew helped her calm down. It was not the way her power normally felt.
Just like her mother had warned that could happen in the future.
A knock pulled her out of her thoughts as she looked at the door opening and met Malik’s gaze. She immediately got up from the bed as Malik walked into the room and went straight for her. “Mal-”
She was cut off as Malik grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace. Liv immediately answered by wrapping her arms around his waist as well and buried her head in the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, Alpha. I’m the one who should apologize.” He said as he pulled away and looked in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to push you that far.” She shook her head as she gave him a small smile with watery eyes. “You were right to, because in the end you were right. I’m just sorry that I didn’t accept the truth sooner and that I hurt you.” He wiped the tear that got loose away with his thumb. “Don’t worry, I was healed in a couple of hours.”
“I could have killed you, Mal.”
“But you didn’t.” He immediately said. “You held back, even though you had no control. That’s a strength not many have.” A sigh left her as she sat back down on the bed.
“Apparently multiple people agree with you there.” Malik snorted as he sat down on the bed next to her. “You’ll find your strength we already see in you, soon enough, Liv. Trust me on that.” She gave him a small smile as she met his gaze, before it fell and she remembered Caden’s words. “You knew Caden was there, didn’t you?” He gave her a small nod. “I know I shouldn’t have spoken out of turn for another Alpha to hear, but we need allies. Fare and I wanted to talk to you about it and well, it went another way.” She gave him a pointed look as her eyebrows shot up. “You think?!” He huffed a laugh as he looked away from her. Liv shook her head before brushing her hair behind her ear and leaning her elbows on her knees.
“Fare knew what you were doing as well?” Malik nodded again. “He was trying to intervene just when you attacked me. Afterwards he went after you, before Caden told him to go back and went after you himself.” She wanted to answer before a figure appeared. Liv looked at the door opening where Nessa stood with a green dress in her hands.
“Oh, uhm, I could come back if you want.” She stumbled over her words as she looked at Liv and Malik.
“No need, Vanessa. I was just leaving.” Malik said before he got up from the bed and turned to Liv. “There is more you need to know, though. Not as life changing as the stuff you heard today, but just as important.” Liv nodded in understanding. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” He gave her a small nod before he bended forward and took her hand in his, placing something in it, before releasing her and walking away. Liv didn’t look at her closed hand, the stone in her hand told her exactly what he gave her. The pendant. It must have fallen on the ground when she shifted.
Not letting Nessa notice the pendant in her hand, she got up from the bed as the woman walked in. “I didn’t have time to grab something else for you besides clean panties and a dress, I’m sorry.” She said as she gave the garments to Liv. “That’s fine, thanks.” Nessa gave her a small smile before she turned and walked out of the room. Liv laid the clothes with a sigh on the bed before she put on the black panties and grabbed the dress. Removing the towel, she put it on. The dress was made of some sort of silk that wasn’t too shiny and flowy, but really comfortable. The sleeves were long and the torso was tight around her body. The neckline was being kept together by some laces and showed a bit her breasts, before they closed the material and stopped at her midriff. The skirt fell to the ground and was thick enough to keep her from freezing. Where the woman got the dress from, she didn’t know. It might as well come from some cosplay, medieval shop, but she had to admit she loved it. She pulled her hair out of the dress and tossed it on her back before she turned and walked out of the room.
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