Chapter Sixty-Two

MIA

Mia...I know where they are.

Those words stunned me.

Eric's quiet. Still there, but waiting. He dropped that little bomb and then he receded to a corner of my mind. He's still connected, but he doesn't pry or press.

I'm still processing the information.

I'm on the front porch of the cabin and staring at the stars. I've been here for hours. I feel so alone. So... defeated. What is the point of anything?

I know I just need to see my kids, to hold their little hands or hug them or just breathe them in, and my soul will be restored.

But I'm not in a good place.

And I can't burden my kids with that.

When my silence drags too long, he clarifies: I know where Ashley and her brother are, Mia.

I knew what you meant.

What do I want to do with that information?

Where are they? I ask.

Washington.

What are they doing there?

Brokering deals with other beings. Likely plotting another attack.

Thank you for telling me.

I hear a low growl and look up

It's Conn. His huge dark body comes across the grass and onto the porch. He puts his head in my lap. I pet his head and neck.

I'd told Cam I needed space, but I couldn't keep Conn away.

I can't be angry. His nearness brings me comfort, and in wolf form, I don't have to say or do anything.

I have to get in touch with my mother's people. Her body... I'm not sure what she'd want.

You need to go to Blakely Island.

I've never heard of it.

It's an island off the coast of Washington, in the San Juan chain.

Okay...

It's an island solely for Seers, Mia. If you want answers about your mother, you need to go to your mother's home.

Conn bumps my hand, his silent demand for more attention and it makes me smile. Leave it to the wolf to offer affection but to demand some in return too.

I run my hands over his big body.

What are you going to do? Eric asks me.

You already know.

The sound he makes in reply is a low rumble in my head.

I'm technically mated to Cam, but Eric is still tied to me. What does that mean?

After a few minutes, I stand up.

I walk inside and leave the front door open. Conn pauses and then trots in behind me when it is clear he is welcome.

I feel bad about that. That I made Cam feel uncomfortable around me. He shouldn't feel unwelcome in his own pack.

Mated to him now, I'm technically Luna... but I don't know if there will ever come a day when this pack embraces me. I'm not sure I can embrace them.

I sigh. It's but one issue among so many.

For now, there are more pressing things...

The cabin isn't big. It's an A-frame with a small kitchenette, a bathroom and a central area that is bedroom/living room/fireplace.

There is a television and I remember what a big deal it was when they installed the solar panels and the wifi. For the longest time, this place ran on a generator.

I sit on the floor beside the crate that my mother left for me.

Conn swings his head from the crate to me before giving the canine equivalent of "you sure about this?"

I shrug. I am not sure of anything these days.

I grab a screwdriver from one of the drawers in the kitchen and set to prying the crate open.

The box opens with a creak.

I suck in a breath.

There is an even partition and I can see 'my side' and 'Ashley's,' and in each section are what look to be hundreds of drawings, paintings and sketches.

I lift a handful from my side of the box.

There is a picture of me and the kids. We're at the park and flying kites. Aaron is laughing and smiling so bright.

The next drawing is of me, pregnant with my feet up, and staring wistfully into the distance. I remember that day. It was towards the end of my pregnancy when my due date was looming and I was faced with the knowledge that I'd be a mom soon-and totally alone to raise my babies. I'd been scared.

There is one of me standing outside Quest Studios, on my first day of work.

The next painting is harder to look at it. It's me, bloody and broken and on the ground with Ashley above me. Cam is in it too. It's the scene from the mountain. When he rejected me.

Conn growls.

It's a painful reminder. For both of us.

Flipping through the paintings and sketches-some in vivid color, others hastily drawn on paper or canvas, sometimes even a napkin, I see my life in retrospect.

My mother had visions.

Of me.

She abandoned me. But I was never actually forgotten.

For every major event in my life, she saw a glimpse. What must that have been like for her?

I feel connected to her in a way I did not anticipate. It brings tears to my eyes.

And once I start crying, I can't seem to stop.

I mourn the mother I never knew, Corinne and the other women we lost in New Orleans. The betrayal from Morgan. From Cameron. The rejection and condemnation from the Circle.

I cry for my kids who have a hot mess of a mother, and how they deserve better than me.

Conn leans his big body against me and I sling my arms around him, my hands fisting in his fur.

I sob.

And he comforts me.

I'm not sure how much time passes, but suddenly I'm swept up. It's Cam. He's naked and holding me. He looks tortured.

I curl myself closer to him, wanting to absorb his strength and his arms reflexively tighten around me.

"It's okay, honey."

We never had terms of endearment before. I'm not sure how I feel about one now, but I soak up the tenderness. The quiet support. And... yes, the love. Despite all the walls between us, I have no doubt that Cam loves me.

He moves to the bed and sits down with his back against the headboard, keeping me in his lap. He drags the blanket over me and we don't move for a long while.

As I sit here, I know that there can be no peace, no hope for a future for us or our family until we deal with the deceptions of the past.

That includes my mom. And whatever misguided vision set my half-sister on such a hellish trajectory.

"I have to leave, Cam."

His arms tighten.

"You know I have to go." I lean forward and rub the mark on my shoulder. "I'm moon-marked, and I have to understand what that means. Not just for me but for Jacelyn too." "There are too many threats..."

I arch a brow at him.

"I won't force you to stay," he amends. "But I need to know you are safe."

Cam kisses my forehead. "Please. Don't do this, Mia."

"I have to."

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