Tyler (Blue Halo Book 6)
Tyler: Chapter 32

Emerson stepped into Levi’s room. She was finally being discharged, but she wanted to see her brother before she went anywhere. Several of Tyler’s teammates were by his door, guarding him, and he’d already assured her that Levi would be assessed by a psychiatrist before they arrested him for shooting the officer.

Emerson sat beside the bed, and Tyler remained close behind, his heat pressing into her, his hand on her shoulder. He didn’t like her being so close to her brother, but he understood her need to talk to him.

Slowly, Levi’s eyes opened. He looked tired, but he also looked alert. She wasn’t sure how that was possible.

“Hey,” she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion.

“Hey, Em.”

Her hand twitched to take his. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great. But I haven’t been feeling great for a long time.”

She couldn’t not touch him. She lifted her hand and covered his. Tyler’s fingers tightened on her shoulder, but he didn’t say anything or try to pull her away.

“Is it true? You’ve been in contact with Rowan this entire time? And he’s been giving you drugs?”

Levi’s gaze shifted to the ceiling. He looked like he was in pain. Not physically. A deep, emotional pain. “After what happened in Iraq, I felt like I was drowning. I didn’t want to be living anymore. When Hylar offered me the chance to be part of something bigger than myself…he said it would ease my PTSD symptoms and help tip the odds of war in our favor, make our soldiers indestructible.”

The bastard.

“But he failed. I was stronger, faster…but still plagued by the same feeling of hopelessness. I didn’t want to drag you or Mom into my mess, but I needed to talk to someone. Rowan listened. He acknowledged how I was feeling. And he offered me something to take away the pain.”

Rowan had abused Levi’s trust just as much as Hylar had.

His eyes scrunched, as if just thinking about it all brought him too much pain. “The drugs made the pit in my gut disappear. They made me feel human again. Almost superhuman. It wasn’t until a couple months in that the delusions came, but by that time… I needed the drug more than I cared about the side effects. They helped me ignore all the negative thoughts inside me.”

“Levi…”

Finally, he looked at her. “I’m sorry, Em. I’m sorry I couldn’t drag myself out of that hole without Rowan and the drugs.”

She squeezed his hand. “You had PTSD, and your trust was abused not once, but twice. I’m going to fight for you to get the therapy you need, Levi. That’s what I’ve been fighting for. I know you haven’t been well for a long time. You need help.”

His gaze shifted between her eyes, his own desolate. “I don’t deserve that kind of loyalty, Em.”

“You do. I love you, and I’m not giving up on you.”

Emerson remained with her brother for another hour. Just talking. Trying to understand. Every so often, he looked like his mind was wandering elsewhere, and she had to bring him back to the conversation.

It was heartbreaking.

When she finally stepped out of the room, an odd mix of emotions swirled in her stomach. Relief that Levi was here and not out in the community, hurting others or himself. Gratitude that she’d finally gotten to talk to the old Levi. But also anger. So much anger.

All directed at her ex-husband.

Tyler stood in front of her, his arms sliding around her waist. “Are you okay?”

“I want to see him.” She hadn’t been expecting those words to come out of her mouth, but now that they had, they felt right.

Tyler tilted his head. “Who?”

“Rowan.”

Tyler’s muscles tensed, and she knew before he spoke what the answer was going to be. “Em—”

“Please.” She took a step forward, pressing her palms to his chest. “I need to ask him something, and I need to see his face when I do.”

Tyler’s jaw clicked through a heavy beat of silence. Her stomach did a little roll because she wasn’t sure which way he was leaning. Finally…

“I’ll see if I can make it happen.”

She lay her head on his chest, instant relief like a lightning strike inside her. “Thank you.”

The next twenty-four hours moved quickly. Tyler got hold of his contact in the FBI, and he pulled some strings to get them access to Rowan.

Tyler continued to ask her throughout the evening and following morning if she was sure she wanted to do this. He wanted her to wait. Wait until she was completely better. Not coughing every few breaths and when her throat stopped burning.

But it was only when they were finally standing outside the interrogation room that doubt started to flutter in her chest.

Tyler heard it in her heartbeat. He cupped her cheek. “It’s okay to change your mind.”

The idea flirted with her sense of self-preservation, teasing her. But the second it did, she straightened her spine. “No. I need to do this.”

Tyler studied her for another second before turning to the officer and nodding. The guy opened the door. She took a quick breath of courage before stepping into the small room.

Her heart thumped at the sight of Rowan sitting at a small table. His hands were cuffed. An orange jumpsuit covered his body. His face was completely devoid of emotion. It reminded her of those minutes in the barn.

Anger rose in her chest, and she had to breathe through it before lowering to a seat opposite him. Tyler sat beside her, remaining close.

“Hi, Emerson.”

His voice…it had changed from comfortably familiar to something that evoked danger.

She’d been going over what she was going to say all morning, but now that she was here, now that she was looking her would-be killer in the face, her head felt empty.

She swallowed, feeling the burn of her throat. “You’ve been in contact with Levi this entire time and supplying him with LSD.”

It wasn’t a question, and the statement burned her throat.

Still no emotion on his face. None. “I had to see how far your loyalty went. The drugs were a concoction of a few things. At first, it was just a small amount of LSD. But I increased the dose when he proved…resistant. I wanted him to do something terrible. It was the only way to determine what it might take for you to finally turn against him.” A flicker of something…not remorse or regret. Almost intrigue. “But you never did. I led you to believe he’d killed someone. A police officer. A father and husband. And still you wanted to help him.”

She ground her jaw, trying to stop herself from leaping across the table and strangling him.

As if Tyler could read her thoughts, he reached over and squeezed her thigh.

“You’re sick. We were married, Rowan. Best friends for years!” And he’d manipulated her and her stepbrother with the intent to kill them.

Rowan leaned forward, his tone still utterly calm. “You divorced me because I loved my work more than I loved you. Because I loved my work more than anything. Abnormally focused. Obsessive. Calculating. They were all labels you gave me during our marriage. Nothing I did should’ve surprised you.”

“A lot of people love their work. They’re not psychopaths who go around killing people.”

“Not everyone has my dedication.”

Really? He was talking about what he’d done like it was something to be admired?

“You’re a monster,” she growled.

“No. I’m a man who’s thirsty for knowledge. You should be proud. It was only after realizing the depth of your loyalty to Levi that I finally figured out my thesis.” He tilted his head. “He was part of this reprehensible program. You knew he was allowing people to suffer. Yet you not only defended him afterward, you wanted to save him.”

She shook her head, trying to comprehend this man’s attempt at justifying his actions.

He sighed. “I can see you’re disgusted in me, and even I can admit, my methods were somewhat extreme.”

Her eyes bulged. “Extreme? You let innocent people burn to death!”

“I killed murderers, and people who defended murderers. Their deaths will not be mourned. And I always gave the loved one a choice. Only one person chose to save herself.”

“It’s called love, Rowan. Something you don’t have even the tiniest grasp of.”

“How did your assistant come into it?” Tyler asked, speaking for the first time.

Rowan lifted a shoulder. “Mike was a student of mine. He idolized me and my work. He thought it was just as unfair as I did when I got dismissed from the PhD program. I knew I needed help, so I proposed to him that we continue my work together, and he agreed.”

She shook her head, leaning back in her seat. “What was the end goal here? You were kicked out of your program. You couldn’t publish your work thanks to the methods you used.”

His eyes lit up for the first time. “My goal, as you put it, was for my work to outlive me. I want my literature to be used in neuropsychology for years to come. People around the world will speak of me. They’ll talk about the neuropsychologist who went to such extremes to learn about the brain, and the connection between emotions and morality. And naturally they’ll talk about my results, because they’ll want to know what was so important that I gave up my freedom for it.”

Rowan’s eyes got wider as he spoke, as if he was excited about the prospect of being remembered for something so horrible. Like the idea of people dying in the name of research was not only okay but good.

“Were you always like this?” she asked quietly. “Or did you change somewhere along the way?”

“It was only these last few years that I felt the higher calling to leave something behind that would be more meaningful.” There was a moment of quiet before he spoke again. “Thank you for inspiring me.”

That’s when she realized.

She’d been feeling so guilty since she’d woken up in that hospital bed. Guilty because she’d inspired this little thesis of Rowan’s and created the connection between him and her brother.

But this wasn’t her fault. There was something deeply wrong with the man sitting across from her. And if it wasn’t this study, it would have been something equally abhorrent.

“You’re wrong,” she said, a new calm threading through her words. He raised a brow in question. “I didn’t divorce you because you loved your work more than me. I divorced you because I realized I didn’t love you. You were so insignificant to me, and I knew I wouldn’t miss you if I left.”

She rose, and Tyler rose beside her.

“And you know what? You are just as insignificant to every other person in the world.” She leaned forward. “Your work won’t be published. It will be buried. No one will read it. No one will know why you were put away for the rest of your life. Because I will make it my personal mission to ensure your research never sees the light of day. Your work, and everything you did,” she lowered her voice, “will be for nothing.”

And there it was. The first glimpse of strong emotion in Rowan.

Anger.

Good.

She stepped away. “Enjoy rotting in a cell for the rest of your insignificant life.”

Then she slid her hand into Tyler’s and left, ignoring Rowan’s angry shout behind her.

Tyler watched Emerson closely as he drove to The Grind. He wanted to take her home. She’d only been discharged from the hospital yesterday, and she had a lot of recovering to do. But his team was at the coffee shop, and she wanted to be there so she could thank them.

God, he was proud of her. The way she’d stood up to her ex and wiped the smug grin off the asshole’s face.

The guy was a psychopath. Recreating real-life ethical dilemmas? He needed to be locked up, never allowed a taste of freedom again.

Tyler pulled into the parking lot. But before they got out, he touched her thigh. “You’re absolutely sure you want to be here?”

She turned, and what he saw on her face just about wrecked him.

Strength. Courage. Love.

“Yes. I want to thank your team. And a good double-shot iced latte wouldn’t be terrible. The stuff in the hospital tastes like feet.”

So. Damn. Strong. “Okay. One quick stop for a latte and thank you’s, then I’m taking you home and forcing you to bed rest.”

She grinned. “Will you be with me on that bed rest?”

“Yes.” Hell yes.

The smile slipped from her lips. “Good.”

God, this woman…

He got out of the car because otherwise he’d do something stupid, like drive her home and never let her leave again. He held her hand tightly as they crossed the lot. He needed her as close as possible for a long damn time after almost losing her. He’d almost been too late. But he’d made it. She was here. She was safe. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ FɪndNøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

He forced away the thoughts of Rowan and his assistant and how close his woman had come to death.

She was about to enter the shop when he pulled her to a stop.

Her brows flickered. “What are you doing?”

“Before we go in, I need to kiss you.” He needed to kiss her right this second, to give the angry parts of his world some peace.

Her eyes softened. “I’ll never say no to a kiss from you.”

Thank God. He threaded his fingers through her hair and snaked the other hand around her waist. Then he lowered his head and sealed his mouth to hers.

The second they touched, Emerson hummed. Her lips were soft and supple, and when he slipped his tongue inside her mouth, he tasted her sweetness.

And there it was. The peace that had evaded him for days. The reassurance that she was here, in his arms and okay.

Someone cleared their throat beside them. He wanted to growl at the person. Maybe he actually did, because they laughed.

Emerson pressed at his chest, and when he looked beside him it was to see Flynn and Carina.

Really? A second time?

Carina smiled, her hand in Flynn’s. “Wow, this feels familiar,” she chuckled.

It was exactly the same scenario when they’d almost shared their first kiss. But, unlike then, when everything he felt for Emerson was too new to name, this time he knew it was love.

He smiled, pressing a hand to the small of Emerson’s back. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

He stepped into the coffee shop, and his entire team shouted their greetings. Yep, this was peace.

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