I was in hell. Well, my version of hell. The ballroom was packed with whirling dancers. Somewhere a small band played and everyone spoke louder than normal to be heard over everyone else. The air was filled with the smells of a dozen different foods. It took every ounce of my power to keep their minds out of mine.

I was overstimulated and exhausted.

But I couldn’t leave. Not yet.

“You look pale, Rain.” My best friend Bridghet Wren sat beside me eating some cake.

Her twin sister and my other best friend Cassandrha sat on my other side. They, whether they knew it or not, were acting as my guards. Trying to shield me from what they knew was a nightmare to me. I appreciated the camaraderie if nothing else. “You should go to your room. You don’t need to be here.”

The twins both had long blonde hair, brilliant smiles, and eyes that danced with all the mischief they had inside them. And I would know, as their lifelong best friend I’d been pulled into a scheme or two. Nothing major, but the mischief streak was long and wide in the Wren family. It was often less about causing chaos, and more about outdoing a sibling. With two of them, the twins’ schemes were often the most complex.

“If I stick it out a little longer no one will miss me later.” As much as I wanted to retreat to my special bedroom with its magical enchantments to keep the outside world out, I needed to show my face. The Winter Solstice was my family’s favorite holiday, but this year it was also a celebration that Rever and I were alive. More Rever than me, but still.

I had to be here.

Shoshanna, our Head of House, would notice if I disappeared so early in the celebration.

“No one will mind,” Bridge admonished softly. “They know you and they know you’ve been through hell. In hell? Through hell? I honestly can’t keep up with what we’re calling things these days.” Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ FɪndNøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

I patted her hand. “It was a rift. Another dimension. Not hell. This is hell.” I nodded at the swirl of dancers and the rise of the music to a crescendo. The House of Gatlin was hopping. Grateful for Rever’s health, it was an even bigger celebration than normal. It was why my best friends from the House of Wren were here.

It was also why their big brother Kris was here, watching my every move.

I felt his gaze even when I wasn’t looking at him. And it wasn’t my abilities telling me that. Nope. It was just my acute awareness of everything about him.

Ever since he kissed me.

I touched my lips as the memory hit. Snow, his warm lips, my mind silent and able to notice everything about him.

My first kiss.

I was so busy protecting my mind, so wrapped up in my research, that I hadn’t even noticed that I had walled off an entire part of my life—a love life. Bridge, Cass, and I were all the same age. We reached the Age of Maturity together, but they had vibrant sex lives like everyone else while I…buried myself in my work. It wasn’t until Kris looked down at me with a million questions in his eyes that I realized what an incredibly awkward position I’d put myself into.

In human terms I was a virgin. There was no samhain term for this. I was willing to bet no samhain in the history of the world had chosen celibacy. And it wasn’t as if I chose it. I just…did it.

And now this incredibly sexy male was staring at me and I didn’t know if it was because he wanted to have sex with me or if he was just worried our trip to the metaphorical gates of hell was causing me psychological harm.

“You need chocolate.” Cass jumped to her feet. “I’ll go get you some.”

“I don’t think chocolate can block out the thoughts of a thousand samhain.”

She shook her head at me as if I was a child who didn’t understand anything about how the world works. With her hands on her hips she explained. “Chocolate makes everything better, Rain. Everything!” Her eyes went round, as if she were trying to imprint the idea on me even though I had my psychic wall up. “I’ll be back with four different kinds!” Then she twirled around, her pretty dress dancing around her ankles, and was off.

“When she gets back we’ll walk you to your room. If you want to be alone I understand. Or if you want company, we can come and hang out with you.”

“I appreciate it. Thank you for coming. I know it was a lot to ask.”

She waved me off. “Don’t worry about it. Dray, Bethany, and Rhysa held a big celebration lunch for us all. This is our second party of the day.”

That was nice.

And then it was not as nice. I felt him before I looked up. Kris stood over us, tall and lean. Dressed so differently from his normal mountain man attire of flannels and boots. He had a clean shave and his dark hair was combed back from his face. He cleaned up as nicely as his brother Bo for parties. It made him even hotter.

“Rhiannon. How are you doing?”

Him using my full name sent a shiver through my body. “I’m holding up.”

His mouth pinched as if he were holding back a lot of words. I was grateful I couldn’t hear his thoughts. “You’re pale.”

“The party is getting to her.” Bridge tightened her grip on my hand.

Kris’s scowl deepend. “I was actually asking how she was coping with her recovery.” He shot a single warning glare at his sister and then locked his gaze with mine again.

“I’m fine. Rever’s the one I worry about.”

“I worry about him too. But I’m asking you.”

Bridge’s eyes went wide and her brother’s sharp tone. “I think I’ll go help Cass find you that chocolate.” She stood up and glared back at her brother. “But I’m watching you.” She pointed at her eyes, then his, then hers again. “I can take you big brother. Hurt my best friend and you’re going down.”

I snorted.

Kris’s glare softened. “One time, pixie. One. Time.”

Years ago, before we reached maturity, the Wrens were having their usual training time and Kris was hungover. While she was practicing grappling with Kris she took him down. Ever since, despite the extenuating circumstances, she used it as a threat.

A threat that always made us all laugh because the twins were no match for their brothers, no matter how strong or fast they got.

Bridge moved away and I was alone with Kris. Tall, broad, mountain man in a suit, Kris.

I gulped.

I may not have ever noticed a male before, but I certainly did now. To an overwhelming degree. I swear my skin tingled with electricity just from being close to him.

“Fuck, Rain. Be honest with me. It’s me.” His voice sounded like sandpaper. Like the act of pushing the words out was almost too much.

It put a crack in my wall. “I’m okay with what happened in the rift.” He glared at me again. “I am. The harder part for me…”

He swore, sitting next to me. “Is Rever. It was too much to ask you to probe his mind. They shouldn’t have done that.”

I heard his words but all I could focus on was the fact that he picked up my hand and now held it between his large, rough hands. My pale skin looked delicate between his tanned outdoorsy hands. A vision of him taking me against a tree flashed behind my eyes. I erased it as fast as it appeared, terrified my psychic block would drop and he’d see it too.

“Rain?”

I jerked my gaze from our hands to his eyes. His soft, worried, penetrating gaze. Damn it was hot. “There was no easy solution and Rever needed me. It is what it is. I’ll be fine.” Eventually.

Kris, his sister Leena, Rever, and I were all taken into the rift. Only Rever got pulled back in. He experienced something much more profound than the rest of us. With my abilities I was able to probe his mind. In doing so I saw what he saw. Felt what he felt. It was intense, but more like watching a movie. I was fully aware it wasn’t my memories I was seeing. They were intense nonetheless. And I was able to help him hold his mind together and recover. I was also able to recount what happened to our Houses so they could properly plan for a future attack.

It had to be done. And it had to be done by me.

“Damn it, Rain.” He pulled me into his chest and wrapped one long, strong arm around me. He smelled clean and masculine but there was something else there. There had to be. Something that made me dizzy and weak in the knees. Maybe he had on a cologne that didn’t agree with me?

Even the sudden dizziness didn’t distract me from noticing how strange it felt to be held by a male not related to me. I suddenly became very aware of his size, every muscle, the warmth of his body.

I was surprised to find him breathing hard, like he was holding back a lot of emotions. For me? For what we went through? I hated not knowing.

“I’m used to dealing with mind fuckery, Kris. I really will be okay.” My words vibrated against his chest. His grip tightened.

He pulled back just enough to look down at me. I loved his dark brown eyes. He was one of the few who could stop someone dead in their tracks with just his gaze. It could be terrifying. Or it could be loving. Like they were now. My favorite was when he seemed to be laughing with his eyes even though no sound came out of him. They were remarkable eyes.

I think I liked them so much because I could tell exactly how Kris felt without hearing a single thought in his head. No gifts required. I found it comforting to know there was someone out there like that. Someone I could be safe with.

“You’re really not going to talk to me?” His eyes darted between mine, searching for a different answer than I was giving him.

I wanted to curl up in his strong arms and fall asleep there. Not as friends, though. I didn’t want that kind of comfort from him. And I was pretty sure as Bridge and Cass’s best friend, Kris would never see me the way I wanted him to see me.

“Not even after our kiss?” he whispered.

My heart stopped. Our kiss had been impulsive. I spent all this time convincing myself it meant nothing to Kris. He probably went around kissing whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. There was absolutely, positively no way he thought of me as anything other than Cass and Bridge’s little friend. “Look around, Kris. I can’t right now. And besides, there’s nothing to share.”

He growled low in his throat and slid apart from me, eyes flashing. I made him angry. “I was there, Rain. I know you’re not okay because I’m not okay.” He pushed his hand through his luscious hair. “I know you’re hurting and it feels like hell that I can’t do anything about it.” He rubbed at his chest. “I don’t want you to feel this.”

That was incredibly, amazingly sweet. In a big brother way. Obviously. “I’m always in pain, Kris. I think, maybe, I can’t tell that it’s worse because it all feels the same.”

His whole face fell and those expressive eyes of his brimmed with concern.

I hated it. And I didn’t want his pity. “Stop.”

He jerked back. “No.”

“Please? You can’t fix me. I’m not a project.” I was a problem or a project or a tool to everyone. The last thing I wanted from the first male I was sexually attracted to was his pity or to become his project.

From a lover I only wanted love.

His eyes shuttered a split second before he stood up. “It’s time to go to your room.”

I glared at his hand. “I’m not a child, Kris. And you can’t tell me what to do in my own home.”

“Well someone needs to. You’re sitting here in pain when you don’t have to. Why? Is it because you like the attention?”

I flew to my feet, so mad my head burned from the heat coursing through my veins. “How dare you? How dare you!”

“Aw, princess. You’re so special. You have your own special room and everyone oohs and aahs over your special powers. Bet you crave more and more of it all the time.”

I…how…what the hell was happening? “Have you lost your mind, Krysippa Wren?”

He shot me a wicked grin that probably made most females drop to their knees. “I have a lot of sisters. I know a drama queen when I see one.”

I gasped. “How dare you insult your sisters!” I slapped him.

Except just before my palm made contact he grabbed my wrist, eyes flashing. “Careful princess.”

I was so angry I could burst into flames just to take Kris out with me. “Which is it? Am I a drama queen or a princess? Make up your mind, asshole!”

His grin widened, and then suddenly he yanked me against his chest, his other arm banding around my waist as his lips came to my ear. “The adrenaline feels nice, doesn’t it?”

I froze, my gaze locking with his again.

“Of course I don’t think any of those things. I just wanted you riled up. If you won’t talk to me, the least I can do is help you.”

I pushed him away as blood whooshed in my ears, my heart pounding, and my lungs desperate for air. And sure enough, my blood hummed and my mind was quiet. It was wonderful.

“You’re a jerk.”

His grin widened and he moved with the swagger of someone with unreasonable confidence. “For the mental health of both of us, I’m taking you four wheeling tomorrow. Dress appropriately.” His eyes dropped to my lips as he sauntered off.

I touched them again, feeling the whisper of his lips, and the excitement of his promise. Tomorrow—open air, adrenaline, and no voices for miles.

Well, no voices but ours.

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