CALLUM

I shouldn’t have been there, but she’d been avoiding me since she’d found out and I needed to talk to her.

It had been painful to watch her in class. I tried to focus, but the pain in her eyes was too hard to ignore. And behind that pain was heat. A fiery tension so strong, I could feel it.

It was as if we’d been bound together by honesty and now that we’d seen it, we couldn’t hide it away anymore. I didn’t think I wanted to.

Our friendship shifted to a different path in the office that night. The hurt had thrown us off course, but the truth of our feelings set us on a different one, still together. At least I hoped. Once the possibility of losing her friendship hit me, I realized how much I’d come to need her. It hadn’t just been Voyeur and watching her. It had been her laugh and bright presence in my office. Her smile from across the desk as we shared a sandwich.

I didn’t want to lose that, and I wanted to explain, but she’d bolt from class as soon as it was over.

I had another opportunity when I walked in to find her in the copier room. I’d closed the door and stared at her back.

She didn’t react, didn’t turn to look at me, or make any eye contact as she brushed past me to open the door. I turned

to follow, and the palm of my hand pressed to the wood and held it closed.

She didn’t immediately jerk away, so I stepped in close.

Not pressing into her but letting her feel my heat. With my heart thundering in my ears, I tried to get her to listen to me.

“I’m so sorry, Oaklyn,” I whispered down close, my words moving her hair. It felt like a punch to the gut when her breathing hiccupped, choking me, but she needed to know. “I meant what I said in the office. You are beautiful and smart and funny. The kiss we shared? That was us. Not Voyeur.”

Her body sagged, slightly leaning back into me, and for the first time, I felt like I could take a deep breath again.

Leaning down, I grazed my nose along her hair. “Please forgive me.”

A moment later, she’d stiffened again. “Let me out.”

And with that, the breath left my body again. But I’d stepped back and let her leave. When I came back into the main office she was gone. Donna told me that Oaklyn had left because she was feeling sick.

I knew it was a lie. I also knew, from my obsession over the last two months, that she worked almost every Friday night. That admission alone should have had me turning the other way. It should have been the big flashing sign that I’d gone too far. But every time I thought of her, my heart hurt a little less. My anxiety slipped further away. For the first time in nineteen years, I’d felt hope, and I wasn’t letting it go so easily.

As soon as I walked into the main area, I spotted her by the bar.

There was a direct line of sight to her standing off to the side gathering drinks on a tray. She wore tall black boots that went over her knee. A patch of her thigh was left bare before a short purple skirt swayed around her legs with each movement. Above that was another patch of skin

baring her belly button before black lace covered the top half of her abdomen and barely encased her breasts.

She was beautiful.

My heart thundered in my ears as I weaved my way in and out of people, ready to make her listen to me. Scared that she wouldn’t. She could easily call security, say that I was stalking her and have my membership revoked. I doubted her success if she went that route, but it would at least buy her more time.

As I approached, I watched her push her long wavy hair behind her ear and I wanted to lean down and suck on the stud secured on her lobe.

“Oaklyn.”

She froze at my gravelly voice, but eventually turned.

She didn’t say anything, just stared me down, and I did my best to decipher the swirl of emotions I saw in her eyes.

Hurt, mixed with nerves and heat. So much heat. Out of my periphery I could see her breasts rising and falling as her breathing sped up. Somehow, I fought from staring and held her gaze, opening my emotions for her to see as much as I could.

I wanted her to feel my own hurt, my own desire, my own nerves, because, fuck me, I was nervous. Nervous that she would slap me and walk away. Nervous that she would stay, and I’d have to face everything after that.

My brows furrowed, and I had to look away because I hadn’t thought of what was next. I just thought about how I couldn’t lose her. But what happened next?

“Are you done hiding the fact that you watch me now?”

Her voice was still soft but filled with sarcasm. “Why even bother going through the selection process? Just tell me to my face what you want me to do.”

“I wanted to talk.”

She ignored me and kept pushing, and I let her because she had every right to be pissed and take it out on me. “Do you want me naked or partially covered? Under the

blankets? Alone? With a dildo or a vibrator? Or do you want me to get Jackson?” My jaw clenched. The more I got to know her, the more I hated watching her with him. “Do you want to see his head buried between my thighs? Do you want to watch me gag on his cock? How about watch as my breasts sway and he fucks me from behind.”

“Stop,” I choked out. “Please.”

She swallowed and dropped her eyes, but not before I saw the regret. Oaklyn wasn’t mean by nature. I could see she wasn’t happy at my pain. Same as I wasn’t happy with hers.

“Do you think I’m a whore?”

I reeled back at her whispered question. I almost didn’t hear it over the music with her face looking down.

I reached my hand out and linked my fingers with hers, needing to touch her. To connect with her so she could feel me. Feel my sincerity.

“You’re not supposed to touch us,” she said, but didn’t pull away. In fact, her fingers tightened, afraid I’d let go.

“Oaklyn. Look at me.” She looked up and barely met my eyes from under her lashes. “You are beautiful. Smart. You are tenacious and determined. I respect your drive and need to succeed. Not everyone is born with money, and I’m impressed with your ability to find a way to get what you need.”

“I have sex with people for money.”

“No. That’s not what Voyeur is, and you know it. You know, I know it. You’re not getting paid to fuck people. To let them use your body. You are not a whore.”

She nodded and dropped her eyes again. “Thank you.”

The soft skin at her wrist pulsed under my thumb. I had an idea to prove to her I didn’t think less of her. As much as I didn’t want to see her with Jackson, if she wanted to see what she did to me when I watched people, then I would bite the bullet.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“I shouldn’t after how much you’ve lied to me.”

“I know. I don’t have enough words to make you understand how sorry I am. And it’s not fair of me to ask if you can trust me again after keeping everything from you, but I am. I want you to trust me, so I can prove to you how sexy I find you.” I watched her throat move over a swallow and risked asking again. “Will you give me another chance and trust me?”

Her golden eyes assessed mine. It was one of the longest moments of my life, but she finally said, “Yes.”

The word swelled in my chest, expanding it to almost bursting. I didn’t deserve her trust after the way I’d kept watching her a secret, but it didn’t stop me from holding on with both hands. “Accept the request from client four-seven-two.”

She hesitated but nodded.

I brushed my body against hers when I walked past, heading to fill out my form.

Once I was done, I didn’t look to see if she was watching me. I went to the restroom to splash cold water on my face, calming the rush of adrenaline burning through me. I stared up at the blue eyes meeting mine in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize them. Almost didn’t recognize the flash of excitement I saw there. Voyeur satisfied a need inside me, but I’d never felt so much that I was on the edge of something more. That feeling was stolen from me before I’d even had a chance to know what it was. Now, it made me feel like a teenager going on my first date.

The band on my wrist vibrated, and I inhaled as deep as I could before heading down the hall to the room indicated, except this time I didn’t enter the private room. I walked into the main room and made my way to the overstuffed chair sitting in shadow in the alcove. It hid most of me, but she could still see parts of me in the shadows, and I wanted her to know how turned on I was by what she did.

The door clicked open and in came Oaklyn and Jackson, fumbling their hands over each other. Jackson kissed all down her neck walking her backwards. He kissed down her chest, back up to her cheeks, but never her lips. Per my request. Her lips were mine.

I unzipped my pants and eased them down my hips.

Enough to pull my aching dick and balls out.

Jackson pushed Oaklyn back on the bed and her eyes flicked to me in the corner for just a moment and widened as she took in my fist wrapped around my cock. Jackson pulled her back into the moment when he fell to his knees, flipped her skirt up, and pulled down her panties. He spread her thighs wide and ran a palm down her pussy, making her jump. He kissed his way down to her core before burying his head between her thighs.

Oaklyn gasped, arched, clung to the sheets as Jackson ate her out, her eyes constantly flicking in my direction.

A primal part of me hated that another man was tasting her. I had to swallow down the urge to growl “mine” and rip him back, so I could finish the job. So, I could lean down and slick my tongue through her wet folds. But the way she kept looking for me as her hands clenched in pleasure, I knew she was with me. And as her breasts heaved from her moans, I remembered why I loved watching so much. I’d never had a connection to the women I watched before, and it added a whole new layer to the experience.

My cock twitched, and I pumped my fist harder. I imagined it was my head buried between her thighs. My tongue lapping up her taste. My mouth making her come. I had to squeeze my dick to hold off my own orgasm once Oaklyn finished.

Jackson placed one soft kiss to her slit and then got up to leave.

It was just Oaklyn and I in the room, finally, but the show wasn’t over. No, the fun had just begun.

She rolled over on the bed and crawled up to reach in the nightstand, pulling out the same dildo I’d watched her fuck herself with before. She resituated herself and spread her trembling thighs open for me. I could see how glistening wet she was and I wanted to taste her. With a shaking hand she pressed the thick head of the cock against her opening and slid it in. Our groans mixed, making the most beautiful sound.

She slipped it out and pushed it back in, slowly fucking herself with it. I pulled my hand away from my cock and began talking.

“I’ve been coming to Voyeur for five years.” Her eyes shot to mine and paused. “Keep fucking yourself.” She obeyed, and I continued. “Voyeur provided an intimate scene that I could feel a part of. It wasn’t as cold as porn on the internet. It was graphic and beautiful, and it turned me the fuck on. I saw you right before Christmas. You came walking out of a room and stole my breath. Innocence and sexiness. I’d thought about you over the holidays. I didn’t even know what it was, but just a glimpse and you stuck with me. Then I saw you perform for the first time after the new year. And when I watched you, I’d never felt so connected with anyone. I became addicted. Then you walked in to my class and my world tilted.”

I squeezed my cock again when she moaned and the dildo moved faster. I wanted to get up. Go to her. It hadn’t been a part of my initial plan, but I needed to touch her.

The desire burned in my chest and ignited my body, making my dick twitch in my palm. If I stood, I’d be putting us both at risk. My job, her schooling, her future and mine. All of it.

But staring at Oaklyn, her eyes glazed and looking just as desperate as I felt, I knew I couldn’t leave this room without finally giving in.

I stood up, my cock still hanging out. Still hard.

“Wha—What are you doing?”

She hadn’t stopped, but slowed down and as I stood before her, I watched the glistening piece of silicone, coated with her juices, moving in and out. “Are you going to press your panic button?” I asked. I lifted my hand to hers, pausing to make sure she was okay with me touching her.

Making sure I was okay with touching her. One last chance for us both to stop.

Looking down at her swollen lips wrapped around the end of the toy sent a resounding yes through me. I was done waiting and pulling back. Her head shook, and I dropped my hand to hers, pushing the toy back in.

“Good.” I pushed her hand away and began to control the motions. “I couldn’t believe I’d become so infatuated with my student. A nineteen-year-old student. It didn’t stop me though. Especially when I got to know you. The infatuation turned to truly liking who you were as a person.

Forming a friendship with you. And as much as I hated myself, you still gave me something no one else ever had, and I couldn’t turn away.”

I pushed all the way in and lifted my thumb to brush against her clit, making her hips pop off the bed. She was so warm. So wet. I watched my digit roll across the swollen rosy flesh and pictured myself pulling the toy out and pushing myself deep inside her. My cock jumped at the thought tapping her thigh. However, no matter how she made me want, the panic still hid inside me, lingering less, but still there.

“Please,” she begged me.

I removed the toy and lifted her to stand. Her body trembling before me, I unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor. Then I stepped into her, pinning my cock between our stomachs. I groaned at the contact and she lifted her hands to my shoulders holding herself to me as she rested her head on my chest.

I fought impossibly hard to control my breathing, my skin prickling as a dizziness swarmed my head. Her skin

against my length was the closest I’d been to fucking a woman and wanting to.

But I couldn’t. The warmth and pressure surged behind my closed lids and I had to pull back before it triggered something other than excitement. Pinching my eyes shut, I pushed the memories down, not ready to stop.

I turned her around to face the bed, too quickly for her to look at my face. I flicked my fingers against the clasp at the back of her top and watched as it fell to the floor. She stood before me completely naked, completely on display.

Leaning down I bit her shoulder and stared at her breasts from over her shoulder that I’d seen so often before. My palms engulfed them as I held them gently, letting my thumbs roll across the tip. She gasped and jerked, her butt pressing against my dick, and I pushed her to bend over the bed. My fingers trailed down her back, across the crack of her ass and played at her wet opening before shoving inside.

I needed to feel her. I needed to be as close as I could to her heat. I couldn’t handle it on my cock yet, the memories still clinging, but I could still feel her.

“Dr. Pierce,” she moaned.

“Cal.” Pressing against her, pinning my hand, I bent over and kissed up her spine to her neck and whispered. “Call me Callum or Cal while I’m inside you.”

And she came. Her legs trembled as my fingers worked in and out of her and my thumb rolled over her clit. We both moaned when her tight cunt clenched tight around me as she rocked her hips back, fucking herself on my hand.

The sounds mixed together like music to my ears as her cum slid down my fingers.

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I was rocking my own hips against her soft skin. Dry humping her like a teenager as I buried my fingers deep inside her, wringing her orgasm from her body.

I almost laughed at how euphoric something so juvenile could feel. A twenty-nine-year-old man, giddy over being able to dry hump a thigh. Skin-to-skin. Not breaking out in a sweat. Not having any tremors. Not having my heart beat out of my chest in panic as the past crept in. The breath whooshed out of my lungs under the emotional weight of feeling my dick press to her soft skin, amazed and awed by the feel of it.

She collapsed onto the mattress when I removed my hand and turned her head to look at me. Could she see the excitement, the desire, the heat boiling inside me? I wanted her to see it all. I wanted her to know how much I honored the gift she was giving me. I held her eyes as I licked every ounce of her cum off my fingers.

“Callum.” It was the first time she’d said my name and it shot through me, straight to my balls and I had to come. I almost felt bad taking advantage of the freedom of not being shackled by my demons, but I couldn’t find it in me.

I wiped my palm over her pussy to gather her juices and fisted myself. Hard and fast, I jerked my cock against her ass, holding her eyes and letting her see my desire, focusing on her to keep me in the moment. Her golden eyes locked on mine, her full lips parted and panting. She was my anchor as fire licked down my skin pulling my orgasm from me. I shot long ropes of white cum all across her ass as she arched up accepting it all. My whole body clenched as my orgasm tore through me. All the more intense with a woman—this woman—in front of me.

I had never touched myself—bared myself in front of a woman before and the significant moment washed over me.

I collapsed on top of her, pressing grateful kisses across her shoulders, fighting back tears. I’d never been this way with a woman. I’d never been able to.

“Thank you, Oaklyn. Thank you.” I barely croaked the words past the lump in my throat.

“Of course, it’s my job.”

Her words were a bucket of cold water over me, and I froze. “Don’t cheapen this,” I pleaded. I couldn’t diminish the enormity of what I’d just done. Because of her.

“I’m just stating the truth.”

Another bucket of ice and I couldn’t stand there as she made one of the biggest moments of my life nothing but a job. Nothing but something she felt she had to do. I couldn’t listen to it. I wouldn’t. I pulled back and began fastening my pants. “This isn’t your job and you know it.

This was me and you.”

“What does me and you even mean anymore? Now that all of this is out in the open, you don’t have to hide anymore. You can waltz right in and know I’m available for whatever you want.” The hurt bled through the cold tone she tried to use. I hated that I’d put it there. I hated that she had to work here and even wonder. “You don’t have to hide anything at school anymore and be my friend.”

“That’s not at all—”

“I can’t right now, Callum. Just . . . not right now.” Her tired admission pierced my heart.

She hadn’t moved from her spot yet by the time I’d finished dressing. She still lay flat on the bed, her head in the blanket and my cum on her back. I had to try and talk to her one more time. Make her understand how wrong she was.

“Oaklyn, please.”

“Just go, Callum.”

I closed my eyes tight and tried to gather myself, tried to fight back the ball of emotion working its way up my throat.

“Please,” she whispered.

So I did as she asked. I left. I didn’t want to, and I didn’t think it was the end of it all, but I left because in that moment, I knew she needed time to process.

But I wasn’t letting go. I wasn’t done trying with her yet.

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