Way of the Wolf: Redemption
Chapter 25 ~ Farewells

"Just. . . follow the lines," Bjarke said, shifting where he sat.

I rolled my eyes, cleaning the needle I held. "I know."

"Don't go to deep."

"I know what I'm doing," I grumbled, moving closer.

"And-"

"Be quiet!" I laughed, looking up at him. "If you're too scared, have Sol do it."

Sol chuckled quietly, shaking his head as my mate and I bickered. With a huff, my mate settled down, one hand gripping the table until it creaked. I knew Orin was watching from where he was sat with his father and the hunters that were discussing where they would go. I should have been nervous, but I wasn't. I was excited to do my first tattoo, even if Sol had drawn it out for me.

It was a simple rune and though my Beta hadn't told me what it was for, I had my suspicions. It was the first letter of my name. And it was going in the space right above his heart.

As I leaned in, his breath tickled my forehead. He was watching my every move but I couldn't blame him for being nervous. I shuffled a little closer, my legs brushing against his as I did.

Letting out a slow breath, I worked quickly so he wouldn't have time to moan at me further. I followed the line down and smiled when I felt the tension leave him. It was an awkward angle for me to work at. I almost wished I could have him lie down so I could straddle him but if I suggested that, we'd probably end up getting distracted.

I smirked and added more ink to the needle. Bjarke and I got distracted a lot lately. Maybe it was hormones and it would fade away, or maybe I'd never be able to get enough of my male. Either way, I wouldn't complain as long as he let me work.

"Focus," Bjarke murmured, gripping the table again.

I was forever forgetting he was more in tune with my emotions than ever. Refocussing on the task at hand, I went over the first line once more. Part of me wanted to rush through it as quickly as possible so I could go to my first lesson with Madden and check on Katrin and the pup, but I forced myself to take my time.

My mate was trusting me to do this well and I loved him all the more for it. As I moved onto the next part, I felt Sol come up behind me. He didn't say anything and my back prickled with awareness. I paused to look up at him, waiting for his critique.

"Make sure to wash away the excess ink so you can see clearly," he advised, leaning in to get a closer look before going back to his seat.

Pride bloomed in my chest. He wasn't one to hold back when it came to my mistakes and having none pointed out meant I was doing well. I did as he said and picked up a cloth to wipe the ink away and grinned as it revealed straight, dark lines. Bjarke smiled in approval, brushing his fingers over it.

"Not bad, little fighter," he commented before straightening up so I could finish it.

"I was hoping for more than not bad," I replied lightly, going over the last line a few times until I was happy.

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Whacking his arm with the cloth, I sat back and shook my head. "You're too cheeky for your own good, Beta."

He smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes as he leaned in to steal a kiss. I kissed him back and smiled against his lips. He was lucky I knew he loved the tattoo. I could feel how proud he was to wear it. A gentle nip to my lip drew a moan but I quickly centred myself again.

Turning to put away the ink and needle, I made a mental note to put the ointment over the new tattoo in an hour or two. Bjarke stood up to go and show off his newest piece, leaving me to clean up alone. I rolled my eyes as he puffed up his chest in front of my brother. They were still finding their footing now I'd changed their relationship. Both males wanted to be my protector, but their constant challenges were making it hard for me to build a relationship with my brother again.

With Signy it was easy to let her fill her role as my mother. I felt our bonds mending, maybe one day I'd feel brave enough to call her mother again. The Alpha was a different story all together. We were both unsure of each other and while I knew deep down he'd kill to keep me safe, I didn't know how to fix things. I'd accepted him as my Alpha, and he'd accepted me as pack, but not my father. It hurt. Especially when I watched the way he treated Fenna as if she were his flesh and blood.

And with that, I'd thought my way into a bad mood. I bristled, snapping the lid of the tattoo box shut in a sound that bounced around the hall. Sol peered over at me with a raised eyebrow and I mumbled my apology.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have your father's temper?" Sol mused.

"I don't have a temper," I rebuffed, chin jutting out.

The old male smirked and nodded slowly. "Of course, forgive me."

I watched him for a moment then sighed. Maybe I did have a bit of a temper lately but hormones made my mood fly high and then slump low. It was frustrating, though Bjarke called it endearing in my softer moments. I was sure he didn't find my fangs snapping at his face if he moved the furs in our bed the wrong way endearing.

"Jakkon isn't your son is he?" I found myself asking. "But you were Alpha before him. Are you Signy's father?"

My gaze flicked back to the old male in question. He was still smiling in amusement at my aggressive streak but he sat back and shook his head.

"No, pup. I'm not related to either of them. Jakkon's parents were dear friends of mine though. I never had pups of my own, my mate died before we could find that joy and I ruled the pack alone until the day Jakkon could no longer bow down to me. He may not have been born of Alphas but he was always meant to be one. He took Signy as a mate the same day he beat me. She has Alphas in her bloodline, seers too way back. . ." He trailed off, eyes unfocussed and distant.

I fell quiet, happy that I'd learned a little of my parents' past. Glancing over at my father, I studied the way the wolves around him were forever trying to gain his approval, like pups. My mother had been right, the Alphas were parents to all in the pack.

Bjarke was leaning over the table to discuss strategy with the hunters. As much as he argued about it, I knew he wanted to go. Next year maybe, this year I was glad he'd be staying here with me. Safe. The thought of my father leaving to hunt sent the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. All I could think about was how his last hunt had ended.

The wolves began to stand, the ones that would remain in skin gathering their supplies. I stood too as Bjarke approached with my brother and Fenna.

"Are you going too?" I asked her.

She shook her head, looking a little solemnly up at her mate. "No, the pack needs warriors to stay behind."

"Maybe next year you can come with us, sister," Orin added. He gave me an unsure smile but I could tell he wanted more. Who knew how many weeks would pass before I saw him again?

"Maybe," I said, managing to give him a smile.

Before I could react, he stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms. At first, I froze, breathe trapped in my lungs. Bjarke began to take a step forward with a growl but I gave him a subtle shake of my head. Forcing myself to take a breath, I pulled in my brother's scent. It sparked a sense of familiarity, one that had me clinging to his tunic as I finally hugged him back. I got a glimmer of memory, nothing more than a flash of an image in my head of us both.

"Don't have the pup until I come back," he ordered, brushing his cheek against mine.

"Come back before I have the pup," I quipped, pulling back with a blush at how easy it had been to be playful with him.

He grinned, a rare sight that warmed me up from the inside out. Turning to Bjarke, he gripped his arm. "You look after my mate, and my sister."

There was a moment where I thought Bjarke would simply ignore his old friend's words. He still held some anger with him for how he'd spoken to me but if I could forgive it, he could too. My Beta broke out into a grin of his own, clasping Orin's arm too.

"I promise I will. They'll both be safe with me. Your father won't go easy on you," he warned. "He never went easy in me. It's a long hunt, Orinfaer."

"I know. I'm ready. Now if you'll excuse me, my mate and I need a moment before we leave." He winked and Fenna laughed as Orin threw her over his shoulder and marched out the hall. A few wolves cheered, all of us knew well what they were off to do.

Taking my hand, Bjarke tugged me close. "Your father would like to speak to you before he goes. Will you?"

"He sent you to ask?" I frowned, looking up. My father was an Alpha, why wouldn't he come himself?

"Jakkon is a male that deals better with a physical problem; challenges, attacks, hunting. Much like you and Orin," he explained, giving me a teasing look as I pursed my lips. "He doesn't know how to handle you, or talk to you. As an Alpha, he's learned to hide his true emotions and his weaknesses. You're a weakness for him, you're his daughter, and like his son, he feels he failed you. Jakkon doesn't handle failure well."

"So I'm something that needs to be handled?" I muttered. My mate sighed and protested even as I turned away to compose myself.

Reaching out for my arm, worry coated his tone. "I'm not saying this right, I'm sorry."

I folded my arms, fighting the hurt. Bjarke could take the blame with a badly worded explanation but I think I understood enough. Maybe Jakkon would have preferred if I'd remained missing, dead to him. I'd overcomplicated so much, upset pack bonds and relationships.

The presence of an Alpha had the hair on the back of my neck prickle. Wiping quickly at my eyes, I turned to see Bjarke gone and Jakkon in his place. Though he held himself tall, shoulders back and spine straight, there was a nervousness I didn't miss in his eyes.

"Will you take a walk with me, dóttir?" he requested, dark blue eyes falling to where my hands splayed protectively over my bump.

While Signy glowed at the idea of being a grandmother, so eager to help me in any way, Jakkon hadn't even acknowledged that this pup would be his grandchild. Hel, he'd hadn't truly acknowledged that I was his daughter until this moment.

"Don't you have to leave, Alpha?" I murmured in reply, unsure how I felt about being alone with him.

He smiled and offered me his arm. "As you say, I am Alpha, we'll leave when I'm ready. You, my blood, are more important at the moment."

I felt a tug in the bond as my mate sent waves of encouragement to me even though I couldn't see him. Slowly, I lifted a hand and then accepted my father's arm. We left the hall in a silence that was strained and awkward but whatever he wanted to say, he didn't want the pack to overhear.

My mind whirred over everything he could possibly say to me; from the horrible to the hopeful. He stopped by the big oak tree, looking up through branches that were almost bare of leaves. I looked up too, reaching out to press my hand against the gnarled trunk. It was only the echo of a memory now. While I knew I'd climbed it many times as a pup, and I could see a vague flicker of doing so though that might only be my imagination, it wasn't clear.

"This was your favourite spot. You'd climb right to the top no matter how many times I ordered you not to," he recollected, his hand tightening over mine. "I can't tell you how terrified I was each time I'd see you up there but you never showed any fear, even after you fell. I'll never forget your scream that day, just as I'll never forget the moment Orin returned to say he couldn't find you. Gods, how I shouted at him. I shouldn't have done that. Maybe if I'd acted as an Alpha, a father, calm instead of rash, he'd never have strayed from the pack. I lost both my pups that day, and here I stand with both of them returned to me."

Hot tears trailed down my cheeks as I listened to him. I could hear the pain in his voice and how hard it was for him to speak. The lines around his eyes were somehow more pronounced, aging him in a way that made me soften towards him. I could see fatherly love in his eyes, and felt the need to comfort him.

My cheeks weren't the only ones that were wet and I understood why he stood with his back to the pack now. He didn't want his wolves to see him break.

"If you'd not shouted at Orin, and he hadn't left, he'd never have found Fenna," I offered uselessly, unsure of how to comfort him. "He wouldn't be the wolf he is now."

"Perhaps you're right." He chuckled and squeezed my hand but his expression grew serious once more. "I'm sorry that it took me too long to see what my mate saw. I think deep down, I didn't want you to be my Freydis. I saw as clear as day what had been done to you, and I know enough of rogue wolves like Valdis to imagine how you lived. How could I accept that because I failed at finding you, you'd suffered such a fate? I didn't want to think that I'd have to handle my own daughter, that she might be too lost for me to save."

Taking my hand from his, I wrapped my arms around myself as if that would protect me from his truths. It was harsh, honest, and I appreciated that, but now I felt a riff bigger than ever form between he and I.

"You would rather that I had died," I surmised.

The Alpha inhaled sharply, a look of agony crossing his features as he shook his head and gripped my arms. I looked up at him to see fury and struggled not to cower.

"Don't you dare say that," he growled, lowering his head so we were eye to eye. "I don't wish that. Don't you ever say it again. You've proven you're a strong female, you've overcome all of this and now. . ."

His gaze fell to my belly, one hand sliding from my arm to curve over my growing bump. "Now you're going to become a mother and I've no doubt you and Bjarke will be better parents than I have been. But I will try and be good Grandsire. And I will try and be a better father to you."

I shoved his hand away, and a flicker of hurt appeared in his eyes before I did something that surprised even me. I jumped into his arms, uncaring that my bump pressed uncomfortably between us as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I'd done this before, I knew I had, even if I'd been much smaller back then. His body stiffened at first and he seemed uncertain before strong arms held me close, the rumble of my father's wolf settling the last of my unease. The rift closed, slowly, but surely.

"I would remember if you were a bad father. You're not a failure, you haven't failed me. You gave me a chance to have a life, a real one, with no hunger or fear. I'm only sorry it took me so long to realise Valdis was the one I should hate," I rambled, heaving sobs shaking my whole body as everything came pouring out. "I hate that I can't remember. I want to remember so I can call you and Signy and Orin my family and not feel like an imposter."

"You're no imposter, dóttir," he promised, keeping me against him even though I knew he wasn't used to this.

Holding me until my tears dried and my breathing calmed, he never rushed me. Even when the wolves gathered by the hall began to get impatient to be on their way, Orin held them back to give us space.

"I don't want you to go," I whispered, clinging onto his scent that was familiar to me now.

"I'll come back," he promised. "Maybe to a pup named after me."

Laughing, I pried myself away and wiped my eyes. "I haven't even discussed names with Bjarke yet."

Brushing hair away from my face, Jakkon smiled, looking more relaxed now than I'd ever seen him.

"You'll come up with a name, and it'll be perfect. I named you and Orin after gods in the hope it would keep you safe." His smile fell a little, his eyes scanning my face. "My Freydis. Look after your mother while I'm gone."

I doubted my mother needed anyone to look after her but I nodded all the same. He brushed his cheek against mine once more, inhaling by my neck as if memorising my scent. Had my scent changed, did he recognise it as belonging to his daughter? I'd never thought to ask before.

"Get back inside now, by the fire," he ordered, taking my hand so he could lead me over the slush.

The waiting wolves straightened up as he approached and my breathing hitched as they bowed their heads to me. They all knew who I was now, and they all accepted my place by Bjarke's side. Orin bowed his head too as I passed, and once more I wanted to beg them both to stay. I was afraid to let go.

My father's hand slipped from mine and he gave my back a nudge towards the door of the hall. Signy was standing by the door with Fenna, and the two females smiled down at me. I fell willingly into my mother's arms, and we all stood and bid the hunters farewell.

Our Alpha shifted into his wolf, Orin standing strong by his side. They lifted their heads to the moon and howled and the song swelled until I found myself joining in.

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