Werewolf Compilations
Chapter 91

I sit down with Noah on the edge of my bed, oddly similar to how James and I were. He listens closely as I share what I can. "He didn't want a Mate. His father told him never to accept one, so when I came along, he was cold to me. He hardly spoke to me. He said rude things when he did. He was with this other girl when I was in the house at night. It was just terrible, and I thought that I could never forgive him, but I tried to. We had a few progressive conversations, and I was willing to try with him. I wanted to trust him after he's lied to me," I explain, "but I found out he's lied again."

Noah sighs. "It sounds like a cycle to me. He's just going to keep lying to you, Rae. And even after all he's done before, you still wanted to be with him? You never tried to reject him?"

"I couldn't bring myself to reject him," I lie. "He just-he sucks me back in. It's the bond, it's his face, his voice, everything. When we're apart, it hurts. All I want is to see him."

"It's because of the bond, because you haven't broken it. You have to reject him."

My eyes wander down to my hands as they sit on my lap. "I know, but I don't want to. Is that bad? Does that make me weak? Pathetic? Am I pathetic? Some part of me believes in him, that he wants the best for me. What if he's just making mistakes to protect me? What if the lies are for my own good?"

Noah shakes his head. "Relationships aren't built off of lies. How could you trust him? You couldn't. You deserve better than that."

I stay quiet.

Noah reaches out and takes my hand in his, and it doesn't feel right. I know it's not right because he's not trying to be my friend.

I look up at him when he moves closer, not sure what he's trying to do. When his foreign lips abruptly touch mine, I pull back. My eyes stray away from his flushed face, and I immediately stand up from my bed stepping to the side. "Uh-I don't. I don't think you—"

"Rae, I-"

"We're friends, Noah," I say firmly. "That's what I first told you. I can't be with someone else—"

"I know," he cuts me off, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I crossed the line. I just—I'm good for you, Rae. And from what you've told me, he's not. You deserve better than him."

Overwhelmed, I struggle to speak. "I-I think you should go."

"Who is he? Who is this guy? Why can't you see that he's toxic? You're a good person. You deserve someone good in return."

"Noah, you should go."

"You have to reject him."

Annoyed, I spill, "I can't reject him, okay? I can't reject him."

"Why not? You're only holding yourself back."

"Because he's an Alpha, Noah. I can't reject an Alpha."

Noah's face shifts to something blank. "What?"

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There is a moment of silence between us before I notice something of a smile appearing on his face. Confused, I don't know what to say. Then the smile grows and his entire appearance reeks of amusement. "Come on, Rae. You don't have to lie just because you don't wanna reject him."

All my insides seem to fall. "What?"

"You don't have to lie that you're mated to an Alpha, okay? I can understand if you don't want to reject him."

"I-I'm not lying. It's Alpha Grant."

Noah pulls a sad face to cover his threatening laughs. "I told you, you can be honest with me. If you're not ready to end things now, that's fine. You can wait until you're "

"Get out."

"Oh, Rae, you don't have to get defensive."

"Noah, get the hell out of my house."

Now he seems to snap back to life. "Woah. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Upset me? What? Am I not pretty enough to be mated to an Alpha? It's so unbelievable that it's funny? You're an ass, Noah. You all are. Alpha or not. Get out of my house and never come here again." Noah shrinks down and slips out the door. When he looks back, I shut it in his face, hoping to never see him again. Once his footsteps have faded into nothing, I slide down against my door, feeling terribly alone in this world.

He was right about James, and I can't help but wonder if he was right about the other thing as well. Maybe I'm not pretty enough to be mated to an Alpha, but I don't want to be her again, I don't want to turn into my sixteen-year-old self. I don't want to fear a life alone or get caught in a cycle of lies. I don't want to cry because James doesn't want me, and Noah finds me just good enough to spend time with, and my mother thinks I'd make a terrible Luna, and my world seems to be a dead end. I don't want to cry anymore.

I've been sad for so long. I'm tired of being sad. It's exhausting.

I should have seen this coming with Noah. I know his type, I know what he wants. I was just good enough to be with, for him. I was the best of a bad situation. My being mated to an Alpha was a joke. He's one of them, one of those people that I'll never understand.

Noah will find someone else. He's pretty enough, he's charming enough, he knows how to get his foot in the door. I'm not worried about him, and I'm sure he's not worried about me.

It only takes two minutes for my mother to come knocking at my door, asking why Noah left so soon without saying a word. I tell her I don't know why he left. I tell her that I think it's because we weren't a good fit. We wouldn't have made good friends. He was just someone to talk to, someone to share my secret with. It's safe with him because he doesn't believe it. I'm glad he doesn't believe it now. I hope he pities me. Maybe my story is too depressing to share with friends for a good laugh.

James will be here in four days.

Right now I need to focus on that. I need to think about what I'm going to say.

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