INSIGNIAS: THE REGALIS
CHAPTER XI: NATE

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The round white moon hid behind the thin clouds in the starless night. Soft rain poured without much sound. It was the first quiet night in Lux Signifer Academy after the battle in Northern Lux. There were no sounds of hammering, drilling, and running footsteps nor shouting and chanting. The remaining students, namely Skhy’s group and Eloise’s group, in the dormitory were usually awoken by loud noises in the middle of the night. These were used as reasons for lack of sleep when they gather but everyone knew better. No one really was able to sleep properly after the battle. They usually work to fix Northern Lux from daybreak to dawn thinking that the tiredness and numbness would force their heavy mind to sleep. Most of the sentries and other legionnaires and fortress knights left in the afternoon upon the command of the remaining members of the Consortium. The students would be back after two days and the classes would be resumed like nothing happened outside the walls of the academy.

Nate silently watched the empty street in front of the dormitory in the veranda outside their apartment. Like the previous nights, he kept tossing and turning, and couldn’t sleep. After two hours of staring at the dark ceiling, he decided to go outside. Despite the peacefulness and silence of the night, he couldn’t feel at ease. There was never a moment of peace in his heart and mind when he lost Hanne. It broke his heart the second time. The first time was when his parents died. There was never a moment when he never wanted to leave the academy to look for her everywhere in Arconien. He was able to breathe a little when Granstire informed him that Hanne was safe. But he suddenly felt wary that he might be lying to them. His suspicion was slowly erased when Granstire sent pictures of Hanne and Ciar without telling them. When he asked when Hanne will go back to the academy, Granstire said that Ciar would accompany her soon. I want to see her and talk to her soon… At that time, he didn’t think much about Ciar bringing Hanne but after relief settled, it dawned in him that he had to face him. His anger and disappointment hadn’t passed. The suffering the group experienced couldn’t be erased that easily, even if he had good reasons. He informed Skhy about this. It took a moment before Skhy answered but Nate knew his thoughts. Doubts…

But more than facing him, Nate was scared to face Hanne and tell her the entire truth. He was scared that she no longer trust him. Every night his mind reminded him of the moment in the portal.

One step into the portal and in a blink of an eye, his friends and companions disappeared. He panicked and looked around and called for them. There were no answers. He was worried about Hanne. The darkness around him was different from that in the cave. It felt wider without end. His feet weren’t touching anything. He was floating in a sea of nothingness. But the darkness didn’t last. Colours slowly faded in around him until he found himself under the noon sun and in a green forest. He tried to walk but his feet weren’t touching the ground. Illusions…

“Where are we going?” He quickly turned around when he heard the voice. His eyes widened at the scene. His eyes slowly became watery. In front of him, a few feet, were his and Hanne’s younger self. Behind the two children were the persons he missed the most.

“We’re going to visit our friend,” the woman replied then ruffled young Nate’s hair. The middle-aged man picked up little Hanne and carried her on one arm. The husband and wife looked forward with a bright smile on each face. Mom… Dad… But they couldn’t see him. They were looking through him.

A tear rolled on Nate’s cheek as he watched his parents full of life, beaming from ear to ear. Geneva and Emmanuel looked so young. Geneva’s long wavy light blonde hair danced with the wind. Emmanuel noticed this and tucked some hair behind her ears. She looked up and smiled at him and he returned the gesture. Nate was about to burst into tears. Everything was so simple before that he desperately wanted to go back to his childhood.

“Is she nice?” Nate turned to the little girl in his father’s arms. Even as a kid, she had a hard time trusting someone outside the family. Before the couple could respond, the young boy answered his sister.

“Even if she’s not nice, I’ll protect you.” Nate chuckled at his confident yet clumsy young self. The image swiftly changed into one of the last memories of his with his parents. This time, he could only see his father’s tired and sleepless face. He was looking directly at Nate with his eyes full of unshed tears but determined.

“Protect each other,” he whispered. Nate tried to stop himself from crying.

“I’ll protect her, dad,” Nate replied, “She’s my sister, even though not through blood.”

“What?” Nate’s eyes widened when he recognized the voice. He wished it came from the screen but he quickly turned around. The image of shock, disappointment, and anger in her eyes was engraved in his mind. He was able to hold her hand while in shock but she quickly brushed his hand away. She was gone in a blink of an eye.

His sad thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket which was odd because of the time. He fished for it and opened the message. A smile formed on his face as he read the message. Without second thoughts, he dialled her number and placed his phone on his ear.

“Nate,” her voice came to him, “You’re awake? Did I wake you up?” There was panic in her voice.

“No. I couldn’t sleep.” It was probably the same with her. “Thank you for the update.” She sent information about his work for the afternoon.

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “Is that why you called?” He suddenly felt embarrassed. Only then that he realized it was such a small matter for him to call. There was no other reason.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes.” He heard her laugh from the other end.

“This is the first time you’re speechless.” Really? His embarrassment increased. He looked down.

“It’s not every day I know what to say,” he replied, still sporting the warmth on his cheeks. He thought deep and hard for a comeback.

“You left with Skhy last time,” he added before she could reply. She gasped then groaned.

“I wish you didn’t know from the beginning.” He chuckled. He looked up and found that it was no longer raining. There were now few visible stars. The moon appeared larger than earlier.

“Not from the beginning.” However, it didn’t take him long to piece everything together. When the two groups, Skhy’s and Nate’s, started travelling together, she kept her distance from him because of the accident. He would find her glaring at him sometimes. It was only when Hunter and Clyne joined them that she started talking to him, mostly because she wanted him to put a leash on Storm. Hunter and Storm would start a fight whenever they got the chance. Nate started noticing her displeasure every time Skhy would break the two apart.

He won’t tell her that.

“I won’t ask when,” she said after a groan, “Don’t use this against me.”

“Never.” He was telling the truth. He was thinking that it was a good thing. Loving someone in this messed-up fate. It felt like that it was the only good thing in this world.

He subconsciously smiled when he remembered Clyne openly showing his love despite Aria’s protests. Lei, on the other hand, silently cared and supported Skhy from the beginning without asking for anything in return. Hunter, despite his dark, mysterious and dangerous aura, had a soft side towards the person he’s protecting. Even Hanne had someone important to her.

“I can’t believe I’ll say this.”

“What?” he asked.

“Try.” He frowned. “It felt like you’ve been stopping yourself from getting emotionally involved.” He thought about the girl in pink at his and Hanne’s graduation. His gaze never left the firmament which is now filled with bright spots. They looked so far but at the same time so near.

“No one’s going to pick everyone up if all of you get hurt.” Or am I just convincing myself? “I’ll be the big brother then.” He heard her chuckle.

“We’re not going to get hurt all at the same time.” A pause. “But you do feel like the big brother of the group.” A huge smile appeared on his face. That was enough for him, being the brother that all needs.

After a few minutes, they ended the call. Nate fell into a dreamless sleep after that for a few hours. Morning came with all the rooms empty except Nate’s. He got himself a cup of coffee and eggs and toasts. The silence of the dormitory made him a little lonely but he knew that everyone was working hard to restore the Northern Lux and some damaged parts of the L.S.A. When it was time for his turn to work, Clyne walked in with slump shoulders and immediately fell asleep after a bath. Nate figured that Skhy and Hunter were with the Consortium.

He arrived at the location 15 minutes early. The lake was deep but narrow. There wasn’t much to restore on the ground and forests but the huge round scraps of metals and rock pillars were blocking the flow of water coming from the mountain nearby. When he felt her presence, he quickly turned around to greet her.

“Hi,” he said with a smile. She wore a white shirt and brown pants with knee-length boots.

“I hope I didn’t disappoint you,” she said when she stopped in front of him. Confused, he frowned.

“I was thinking that you want to work with someone else.” A grin was playing on her lips. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear.

“I know that we’re working together today,” he replied after a chuckle. She didn’t seem convinced so she shook her head before heading toward the river.

“Should I go to the other side?” she asked.

“I’m going to dump the metals there.” He counted thirteen long heavy metals blocking the area of the river near them. There were probably more if they walk along the river toward the area where the river splits into three.

Tessa immediately started to lift heavy rocks using the river water. Nate followed and remove the obstacles and discharged them one by one on the other side of the river. He couldn’t hold two at the same time. Whoever manipulated those were strong. He wondered if it was a zombie-like Rosein soldier or human magic user. There were still a lot the Concordians don’t know about the attack and the enemies. The members of the Consortium and the Elders’ Chamber probably know more… He wondered if Skhy and Hunter found out about something.

“Should I call for help?” he asked after three hours of non-stop lifting and discharging debris. He and Tessa sat for a short break. She gave him a sandwich and a water bottle.

“Others are busy for final cleaning before the resumption of classes,” she replied between deep breaths. She tied her long brown hair in a ponytail. Under the sunlight, it appeared golden brown. Her eyes gleamed.

“Thanks for these.” He started eating the sandwich.

“Sorry. I couldn’t make more. I was working early in the morning.” He quickly turned toward her. He didn’t know. He thought this was her first job for the day.

“I think…”

“I was just helping in the infirmary.” She cut him off. “A lot of the legionnaires didn’t get to rest since then.” Nate admired the men in armour, as well as the sentries.

“But really, I’m sorry to disappoint you.” Nate frowned at her. “You wanted to work with Lei.” Where is this coming from?

“I want to work with everybody.” He finished his sandwich and started drinking. He could feel Tessa’s stare at the side of his face, making him conscious.

“What is it?” His eyes met her calculating golden eyes.

“Hmm nothing.” She looked away. He didn’t want to press but she got him curious.

“Please tell me.” She turned to look at him again.

“You like Lei.” He coughed. He choked on his saliva. Why? There was nothing to be surprised about.

“Well, I like our friends.” This is what she’s referring to, right? Tessa tilted her head and continued to stare at him. He looked away. He heard her chuckle. She stood up and walked toward the river. He joined her after cleaning his trash.

“There’s nothing wrong about like someone,” she said and then turned to face him. “One deserves to love and be loved.” She had a huge smile on her pale face. The mid-afternoon sun shone behind her. There’s nothing wrong… one deserves…

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