I grip the seat as Dustin pulls into the studio lot. I left Squint at Dustin’s house, and I’m regretting that decision. My hands don’t know what to do with themselves. Dustin must have noticed, because he reaches over and pries my fingers off his leather seat and slips his hand into mine. “You’ll do a great job,” he says.
I clutch his hand so tight I’m afraid he’s going to complain, but he doesn’t. He just smiles at me and parks his car. I try to convince myself this is going to be okay. As we walk into the building, I take in a deep breath. Dustin will keep me calm.
I follow Dustin through a couple of hallways until we get ushered into a waiting room with several people. Chairs line the room and Dustin motions for me to sit. We take some seats and wait. A large clock on the wall ticks the seconds.
A woman with a clipboard enters. She has short, black hair and looks to be in her early 20s. The woman scans the room and turns to me. “Jera, thank you for coming in today. You can come with me.”
We stand. I glance at Dustin. He steps toward her. “Can I read with Jera?”
The woman shakes her head. “I’m sorry, no. Your audition will start in a moment. It’s set up in a different room.”
“I can’t just come in with her?”
The woman frowns. “No, the Beckett audition is down the hallway.”
She opens a door and waves me inside. My heart thumps loud in my ears as I walk away from Dustin. He mouths “You’ve got this,” as they shut the door.
A camera is set up on one side of the room. “Over here,” the woman says, forcing me in front of the camera. A man stands off to the side, a script in his hand.
I stand where indicated, and the woman motions to the cameraman. A small red light comes on. “Okay, we’re ready when you are.”
I swallow and stare at the little red light on the camera. I can’t remember my lines. I don’t know what to say. As the seconds tick by, the man with the script stares at me, like he’s waiting for me. I wrack my brain to think. Something about leaving. The lines jump into my memory, and I blurt them out. “I’m leaving Coast Haven. You can’t stop me.”
“Daphne,” the man reads, his voice flat.
I panic, as I try to pull any kind of emotion out of that. There is none. He’s not Dustin, and I’m not a real actor. I hold my breath and try to remember my lines again.
“Don’t, Beckett,” I say, but my voice is monotone. I know I’m messing this up, but I can’t figure out how to do it right. The only thing I can do is say the lines. Luckily, I know the rest and I can repeat them in front of the camera. It feels like I’m rushing them, but I try my best not to.
After I say all my lines, I wait to see what will happen. The woman checks her clipboard and then glances at the cameraman before ushering me back into the waiting area.
“Thanks for coming in. Someone will call you,” she says before taking another person back into the room.
I walk out into the hallway, my body numb. I don’t know where Dustin went, and I’m scared I just totally bombed this for Jera. A few people come and go before I finally see Dustin come out.
“Jera,” he says as he comes to me. “How did it go?”
I shake my head. “Not very good.” The reality of it crashes into me, and I blink back tears.
“What do you mean? What happened?” Concern laces his words.
“I couldn’t pull in that emotion. I messed it all up.”
Dustin puts his arm around me. “It’s okay. I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think.”
He’s wrong, but I don’t argue with him. I nod and lean into him.
“Come on, let’s go do something to get your mind off it.”
“All right.”
He leads me down the hallway, through the maze we came in, and out to where he parked his car.
We get into his car, and he turns to me. “Want to go for a scenic drive with me?”
“Sure.” I don’t care where we go. As long as I don’t have to worry about people, I’ll go anywhere with him.
“I have the perfect place.” He pulls a pair of sunglasses out of his glove box and slides them on.
My nerves settle down as we drive, the warm sun on my skin. The city landscape fades away as we get further out, replaced by the coastline. The water is beautiful and my artistic heart sings.
“This would be beautiful to paint,” I say, trying to memorize the colors in the water and on the rocky shore.
“Take a photo. You can paint from a photo, right?”
“Yes, but my phone can’t take any more pictures. The memory card is full.”
Dustin looks at me for a moment. “You told me you can’t get another phone. Why can’t you?”
I look out at the landscape, the white foam cresting the waves, as I ponder what to say. I can’t get a new phone because I’m broke. But if I tell Dustin that, I’ll have to explain I’m not Jera. Is now a good time to tell him?
I gather up my courage and stare down at my lap. “I can’t because I don’t have the money.”
Dustin is silent for a stretch of time, and I wonder if he’s going to be upset at me for pretending to be Jera. But when I look at him, he has sympathy in his gaze. “I know a lot of people in Hollywood who are like that. It happens more than you’d think. Don’t be embarrassed. So, you overspent, thinking you’d get a role that you didn’t. Or counting on residuals that dried up. It’s common, Jera. Don’t worry.”
“No, I—”
“Actually,” Dustin says, interrupting me. “That explains a lot. I understand now why you wouldn’t take my offer on the fence. You needed more money. I’ll talk to my attorney tomorrow and—”
“No!” I insist, grabbing his arm. I don’t want him to think my not budging on the fence has anything to do with money. “That’s not it.”
“Then what?”
How can I tell him? I search for a way to say it that he’ll understand. My heart climbs into my throat as I seek for the right words. My palms grow sweaty. I’m going to make it clear now. I’m going to confess.
“Jera has a lot of money. I, myself, don’t.”
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