The Admiral
If He Dies, I'll Kill Him

Arden Lexington

Something didn’t feel right as I watched them row toward land. My eyes were locked on James until he disappeared into the darkness of night.

My entire life I’ve separated the different voices that conflict within me. The voice of my head is stubborn, logical, and proud, the voice of my heart is guarded and craves affection. These voices are untrustworthy. The one voice I listen to most is that of my gut, my instincts. Before I left the Morning Star, I put a plan into action. A plan that only Captain Thomas Debang and one other soul are privy to, and her name is Ufuoma Adeoye.

Ufuoma is originally from Cameroon and has a very specific skillset we rarely get to utilize at sea, on land she’s unstoppable, what we call a shadow. Ufuoma is already at the docks and waiting to tail our little scouting party. I can guarantee not a single one of my crew, no matter how well trained they are, will even know she’s on their tail. Then again James has inhuman eyesight, she may struggle to keep hidden from him.

It’s not that I don’t trust them to get the job done, but I trust my instincts more, and I could never forgive myself if I ignored them, even if I’m being overly cautious. Overly cautious would also be telling Thomas to sail the Morning Star to our position in two days regardless of what happened or what they heard. Which I also did. What’s the point of having a ship with 200 canons if you’re not willing to use it and I most certainly will not play games, not when the life of my man is on the line.

As the night ticked away, I forced myself to try and sleep. Staying awake worrying won’t accomplish anything, and I’ll be of no use to anyone exhausted.

There were no cabins on this small ship. I lay in one of many hammocks hung up below deck like everyone else and looked over at Ox and Azizi, already fast asleep.

I sigh and stare up at the beams above, gently swaying as the ship rocks on the calm sea. It was near impossible to sleep, all I could think about was a life with James beyond this. He’s done it, he’s broken through and wound his way into my heart, bringing it back to life. I could feel tears forming in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away before they had a chance to fall. If James dies that dream dies with him. Curse him for making me love him, if he dies I’ll fucking kill him.

The next day crawled by. Everyone seemed to be a little unsettled about our situation, we’ve never had a situation like this where we were hunting a pirate who used to be one of our own. At least not in my lifetime.

I sit in the crow’s nest at the top of the main mast looking out at the island of Sal thinking back on my life growing up with Wyatt. I could never have imagined he’d turn on me like this, he was always there for me when I needed him, he was my brother. It was when we went to the Academy that we started drifting. I wonder if I’ll ever get to know why he chose this path. I remember the day he went missing. It was a week after I was made Admiral, his father was so worried, we all were. It was only about five months ago that he resurfaced as the Pirate King. Idiot.

The whole day passes without news and the sinking feeling in my gut only gets worse. Maybe we should have waited for the Reaper.

As the sun begins to set I hear the crew below making a ruckus and look down from the crow’s nest to see them sparring. Since we’re on a mission there’s not a drop of rum on board, they must be going insane with boredom, I know I am. Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Findɴovel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

I climb down the mast and send someone up to replace me as lookout.

Ox eyes me as I go to sit next to him to watch Azizi spar with William. Azizi is twice his size, but William is quick and flexible.

Ox puts his arm around me and gives me a friendly shake, “Get out of that head, it causes us nothing but trouble.”

I let out a long sigh that turns into a long grumble of discontentment, “This is frustrating.”

He laughs, “Yes, very much so. Don’t you worry, Giddeon is our best man, he’s never failed us, there’s no reason he should start.”

“That’s just it Ox, no one goes an entire lifetime without fucking up at least once.”

“Ah, you always look for the worst outcome.”

“It helps to be prepared for when the worst inevitably comes.”

He shrugs, “I am a simple man, and because of that I am happy. You overthink, and it makes you miserable. Try being dumber.”

I laugh loudly at that one, “Maybe you’re right.”

I lean on Ox, and we watch the crew spar in silence for a while until I decide to go lie down. Who knew doing nothing all day could be so tiresome.

I barely got to sleep before I felt something hit me. My reflexes make me reach straight for my knife and I sit up in the hammock to look around. I see Ufuoma standing in the doorway of the sleeping quarters. No one on my crew dares wake anyone withing arm’s length, since there’s a high risk of getting stabbed. We’re taught to throw things at one another. It’s a little impersonal but we’re reminded on a daily by Henry of what could potentially happen, he lost an eye when I sent him to wake up Giddeon.

“Ufuoma, what the fuck are you doing here?” I whisper as I get out to go speak to her. “Are they back?”

She hesitates, “No Admiral, we have a problem.

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